BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
An “American Idol” staffer is blabbing that the show’s producers & judges have already picked the final 4 contestants: Danny Gokey, Lil Rounds, Adam Lambert, and Alexis Grace (well come to think of it, how do we KNOW they ever count all those telephone votes?) . . . Simon Cowell is said to be lobbying hard to get Michael Jackson to appear on his UK talent competition “X Factor” (rumor had it Jackson would be on “American Idol” a season ago but he never showed) . . . 45-year-old Tony Award-winning British actress Natasha Richardson (“The Parent Trap”) has been hospitalized in Montréal’s Hôpital du Sacre-Coeur after suffering traumatic brain injury in a ski accident in Québec’s Mont Tremblant resort area (actor-husband Liam Neeson has flown in from the Toronto set of the currently shooting Atom Egoyan film “Chloe”) . . . 82-year-old Hugh Hefner has listed the 5-bedroom English manor-style house next door to the Playboy Mansion for a massive $28 million (no, it’s not the one that comes with “The Girls Next Door”) . . . 67-year-old classic rocker David Crosby (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young) has put his beloved yacht, “The Mayan”, on the market after sailing the schooner for more than 40 years and writing many of his best songs (ie: “Wooden Ships”) aboard her (first million takes it) . . . Rumor has it a series regular on “Lost” (ABC) is going to bite the dust very soon (like tonight maybe?) . . . And, hard to believe, but more than half of the teens & 20-somethings polled in a new Boston Health Commission survey say that Rihanna was to blame for her dust-up with Chris Brown, even though she was the one left with a black eye and swollen face (the Brown PR machine is apparently working).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Next Top Model” (CW/A Channel) – The contestants walk the runway in a Jill Stuart fashion show. Tyra Banks has announced that aspiring models affected by Saturday’s stampede during a NYC casting call will get another chance to audition. Details will be announced soon.
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Brad Paisley performs his latest single “Then”. Carrie Underwood & Randy Travis sing “I Told You So”, her current single that’s a cover of his 1988 #1 hit. Then another contestant gets the boot.
• “CSI: NY” (CBS) – In another blatant example of stunt-casting, real-life couple Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson-Wentz appear, not playing themselves but ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ wannabes.
• Keith Urban – He kicks off a mini-tour of clubs & theaters at the House of Blues in Dallas TX to promote the March 31st release of his new album “Defying Gravity”. He launches the full-fledged “Escape Together World Tour” May 7th in Uncasville CT.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Modest Mouse performs.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Country singer LeAnn Rimes is on.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Coldplay – They’ve added a run of shows to their North American tour, which will begin May 15th in West Palm Beach FL and include stops in Winnipeg, Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver and Toronto through June and July.
• Lily Allen – “The Fear” singer has been spotted vomiting in the street on the way to her tour bus after drinking an entire bottle of wine during a performance in Glasgow, Scotland. (Class.)
• Madonna – She’s just admitted that she’s considering adopting another child from Malawi. (Whom she won’t allow Guy to see either.)
• Michael Jackson – According to biographer Ian Halperin, he’s consulted some of the world’s top cosmetologists in preparation for his comeback concerts at London’s O2 Arena. If true, that means he’s likely to undergo more plastic surgery before July. (A new ‘stage nose’ perhaps?)
• Rascal Flatts – Frontman Gary LeVox is featured in the April issue of “Reader’s Digest”. He tells about his grandmother letting him listen to Merle Haggard as a kid … but not the Kinks.
• U2 – Residents of Malibu CA are up in arms over a plan by The Edge to build a number of new homes in the exclusive beachfront neighborhood where he lives. Critics say the 1,000-acre housing development would have a disastrous affect on wildlife and result in huge portions of mountainside being carved up. And, oh yeah, it would also ruin the view. (The real beef.)

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘In-Sourcing’ – The newly popular opposite of ‘outsourcing’, whereby companies or individuals choose to perform functions themselves rather than farming them out to someone else. (“I just let my landscaper go. I figure I can save a quick $100 a month by in-sourcing and cutting my own lawn.”)
• ‘Recession Garden’ – A new trend to backyard vegetable gardening that’s reminiscent of the ‘Victory Gardens’ planted during WW2. The National Gardening Association estimates that a well-maintained vegetable garden yields about $500-a-year in average return.
• ‘Sonic Brand Trigger’ – Aural branding in advertising, using a short burst of sound to identify a product. (NBC’s 3-note chimes, for instance; or the brief giggle by fat guy/TV huckster ‘Pillsbury Doughboy’, who made his TV debut 48 years ago today (1961).
• ‘Twitterverse’ – A blend of ‘Twitter’ and ‘universe’ to describe the Twitter social networking service and all the people who use it. (“Not only individuals but big companies such as Dell are now active in the Twitterverse addressing customer service issues.”)

WHAT’S IN A FACE:
Attractive faces are universal, according to a recent study. Researchers used computer-generated images to confirm that women with large eyes and high cheek bones, and men with strong chins are considered most attractive by people around-the-world. (So Jay Leno is sexy?)
– The journal “Nature”

WITH WHICH DO YOU ITCH?
Studies show that left-handed people tend to scratch themselves with their right hand, while right-handed people scratch themselves with their left hand. (Except for baseball players, ’cause that’s their glove hand.)
– “Discover Magazine”

MONKS, PUNKS, SKUNKS AND DRUNKS:
Hell-raising Sex Pistols’ punk rocker Sid Vicious has been voted ‘Most Controversial Rocker of All-Time’ in a new UK-based survey. He died of a heroin overdose in 1979, just months after being accused of murdering his girlfriend Nancy Spungen. Others on the warped list …
5. Michael Jackson
4. Amy Winehouse
3. Keith Richards
2. Ozzy Osbourne
1. Sid Vicious
– ContactMusic.com

BRAIN MELDING:
Musicians’ brainwaves are just as in tune with each other as their instruments, new research at the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Berlin, Germany has discovered. Using EEG monitoring, the study has found that the brainwaves of guitarists playing together become increasingly similar as songs progress. The results do not show whether this mental coupling occurs in response to the music and as a result of watching each other, or whether the brain synchronization takes place first and enables the co-ordinated performance. It’s the first time musicians have been measured jointly while in concert. (Except for “Rock Band”.)
– “US News & World Report”

WRINKLED IS BETTER:
Sheffield University psychologist Dr Lorraine Boule claims that older men are better lovers and have fewer impotence problems than young turks. She also says that ‘male menopause’ is a myth invented by pharmaceutical companies in order to sell their products. Contrary to popular belief, she says, men become more sexually skilled as they get older. (It’s always ‘Ladies’ Night’ at the seniors’ home.)
– FreeRepublic.com

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 55% of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn.
• 40% of moms use their child’s full name when scolding them.
• 22% of us have broken up with 6-to-10 romantic interests in our lives.
• 20% of guys admit they’ve called in sick because they were having a bad hair day.
• 13% of us have worn clothing that was designed for members of the opposite sex.
• 10% of office workers admit to attacking a photocopy machine in frustration.

MOST TITILLATING TOOTS:
According to Trevor Cox, acoustics professor at the UK’s Salford University, the funniest whoopee cushion sounds are long and whiny. A new survey of 34,000 people has found we are more amused by drawn-out noises rather than abrupt toots, and a full 7-second burst is the most likely to make us laugh. The study also surprisingly shows that women actually find the sound of a whoopee cushion slightly funnier than men. (In related news, still no cure for cancer.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

BS AMAZING BODY FACTS:
• Your mouth produces 1.8 pints or 1 liter of saliva in a day.
• Unless food is mixed with saliva you cannot taste it.
• You’ll drink about 20,000 gallons or 75,000 liters of water in your lifetime.
• Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
• Your middle fingernail grows the fastest.
– DidYouKnow.org

BS CHRONOMETER 03.18.09

---

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1963 [46] Vanessa Williams, Tarrytown NY, TV actress (‘Wilhelmina Slater’ on “Ugly Betty” since 2006)/pop singer (“Save the Best For Last”, “Colors Of the Wind”)/movie actress (“Johnson Family Vacation“, “Shaft”)/Broadway actress (“Into the Woods”, “Kiss Of the Spider Woman”)  UP NEXT: “Hannah Montana: The Movie”, opening April 10th.

1970 [39] Queen Latifah (Dana Owens), Newark NJ, movie actress (“The Secret Life of Bees”, “Chicago”)/hip-hop/jazz/pop singer (“Trav’lin’ Light”)  FACTOID: ‘Latifah’ is Arabic for ‘delicate and sensitive’.

1972 [37] Dane Cook, Boston MA, comedian (“Rough Around the Edges”)/movie actor (“My Best Friend’s Girl”, “Good Luck Chuck”)

1979 [30] Adam Levine, LA CA, pop singer (Maroon 5-“Makes Me Wonder”, “She Will Be Loved”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Awkward Moments Day”, a day to celebrate the humor in life’s uncomfortable situations. (Which we normally fail to see until years later.)

• “Forgive Mom & Dad Day”. No matter how lousy they were as parents, it’s time to let it go and get on with your life.

• “Supreme Sacrifice Day”. Ask your parents what it’s about … if you’ve got an hour or 2 to kill.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [01] British film director Anthony Minghella (“Cold Mountain”, “The English Patient”) dies suddenly at age 54 in London

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [11] Michael Jackson goes shopping at a toy store in Munich, Germany … dressed as an Arab woman

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1892 [117] Lord Stanley 1st proposes a ‘Silver Challenge Cup for Hockey’ (becomes known as the ‘Stanley Cup’)

1931 [78] 1st ‘Electric Razor’, marketed by Schick (and 1st nose-hair becomes hopelessly caught)

1965 [44] 1st ‘Space Walk’ (Aleksei Leonov-USSR)

1966 [43] 1st ‘Paper Dress’ goes on the market, priced at $1 by Scott Paper Co

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1945 [64] 1st NHLer to score 50 goals in a season (Maurice ‘Rocket’ Richard, Montréal Canadiens)

1981 [28] Buffalo Sabres set NHL record of 9 goals in 1 period (vs Toronto Maple Leafs)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] President Barack Obama appears on “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC)
[Thurs] Poultry Day
[Fri] 1st Day of Spring
[Fri] “Duplicity”, “I Love You, Man”, “Knowing” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Teacher Appreciation Day
[Fri] No Homework Day
[Fri] Single Parents Day
[Sat] “Twilight” DVD released
This Week Is … Brain Awareness Week
This Month Is … Craft Month

BULL’S BITS

---

BS SIGNS IT’S SPRINGTIME AT THE OFFICE:
• Caffeine intake has increased to cope with longer days.
• The boss has had a Spring tune-up done to his comb-over.
• The temperature is changing from suffocating all Winter to freezing all Summer.
• Those hot babes in accounting are showing a little leg.
• The mold in the leftover pizza box in the coffee room is in full bloom.
• The I-T geek’s skin color is changing from translucent with a tinge of blue to pasty white.
• Street vendors out front finally change the hot dog water.
• More than usual, people are mating in the mail room.
– Adapted from Bbspot.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The management of this station is not responsible for any loss of dignity suffered while listening to the following program …

BS SUGGESTED TITLES FOR A BERNIE MADOFF BIO-PIC:
How could they not make a movie about the largest investor fraud ever committed by a single person, estimated at circa $65 billion? But what to call it? How about …
• “SEC vs Predator”
• “The Fraudfather”
• “When Bernie Met Ponzi”
• “Weekend at Bernie’s III: Bernie Goes to Federal Prison”
• “Scumbag Billionaire”
– Thanks to Eric Feezell

BS BATTLE OF THE SEXES:
Questions for guys …
• What percentage of today’s mothers breast-feed their newborns – 25%, 35%, or 55%? [55%]
• At what age does an obstetrician recommend amniocentesis for a woman in her first pregnancy – 35, 40, or 55? [35]
• At what age do girls typically stop growing in height – 12-13, 14-16, 17-19? [14-16]
• How many additional calories should a pregnant woman consume daily – 1,800, 900, or 300? [300]
• At any given moment, what percentage of women are on a diet – 20%, 40%, or 60%? [40%]

Questions for girls …
• Which feature on the car stereo searches for the next strongest signal – Seek, Scan, or Index? [Seek]
• What is the average percentage of body fat for an adult man – 5-10%, 15-18%, or 25-30%? [15-18%]
• When is a guy’s testosterone level highest – early morning, midday, 1 hour into sleep? [morning]
• How many basketball players are allowed on the court for each team – 4, 5, or 6? [5]
• In golf the 1-wood is also known as – the utility club, the slammer, or the driver? [Driver]
– “The Gender Gap”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which so-far modest film star would you like to see naked on the bigscreen?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Guys who have one of THESE are actually more attractive to women because it’s seen as a sign of masculinity.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A scar. (“Psychology Today”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Always yield to temptation for it may not pass your way again.