Friday, March 18, 2022 — Edition: #7191
Here’s More Bull Roar!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” is coming to an end. The daytime show announced that after 19 seasons, the final episode will air May 26. Through the years, 64-year-old Ellen has hosted over 4,000 guests, and distributed nearly half a billion dollars in giveaways. In a statement, the show said that on the final episode, “The lineup of special guests will pay tribute to the trailblazing host and share their favorite memories from DeGeneres’ 19 iconic seasons.” DeGeneres announced in May 2021 that she will be ending her long-running talk show this year.
-MSN
★ Jussie Smollett has been released from Chicago’s Cook County Jail, less than a week after he was sentenced to 150 days behind bars for lying to police about staging his own hate crime in 2019. It’s the latest twist in a bizarre, 3-year legal saga for Smollett. His attorney said that the Smollett family was “very, very happy.” An Illinois appeals court voted to allow Smollett to go free on a $150,000 bond while he appeals, because it was likely that he would have finished his sentence by the time the appeal process was completed.
-Yahoo, CTV
★ “The Walking Dead” star Norman Reedus has suffered a concussion on-set of the popular AMC show. The incident occurred on March 11 in Georgia. In a statement, his publicist said: “He is recovering well and will return to work soon.” Reedus is currently filming the 11th and final season of the zombie-horror series. Reedus’ concussion is expected to delay the show’s wrap by a few days. It’s unclear exactly how the injury occurred.
-Variety
★ Kim Kardashian says Pete Davidson is making their relationship permanent with some new body art. She appeared on “Ellen” Wednesday, and chatted about her boyfriend and his “cute” new tattoos. When host Ellen DeGeneres asked Kardashian if there was truth to internet speculation that Davidson had gotten a tattoo of her name on his chest, she said: “Yeah, he has a few tattoos — a few cute ones that he got. But… the ‘Kim’ one… isn’t a tattoo, it’s actually a branding.” Kimmy K. also said that Daviddson “wanted to do something that was really different”, so he also got a tattoo that says: ‘My girl is a lawyer.’
-People
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Daniel Radcliffe, Dave Gahan & Soulsavers
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Oliver, Future Islands (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Simon Cowell, Maude Apatow, Stevie Nistor (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Adam McKay, Rebecca Hall (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Michael Bublé, guest co-host Alyssa Farah Griffin
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jeremy Renner, Vanessa Williams, Sisqo
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): John Cho, Tyler James Williams, guest host Stephen “tWitch” Boss
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jamie Dornan, Dominique Fishback, For King & Country
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Seth Meyers, Britt Lower, Pilar Valdes
SATURDAY-
• “Great Chocolate Showdown” (CW): Season 1 finale
• “Your Boyfriend Is Mine” (LIFETIME): Over his girlfriend’s objections, Ben takes a job as the live-in manservant to a wealthy businesswoman. He quickly realizes he has made a deal with the devil and has put himself and his girlfriend in mortal jeopardy.
• “Love & Marriage: Huntsville” (OWN): Season 4 premiere
SUNDAY-
• “An Audience With Adele” (NBC): In front of a star-studded audience at the London Palladium, Adele performs, including songs from her new album, “30,” and some of her greatest hits.
• “Call the Midwife” (PBS): Season 11 premiere
• “Step Into…The Movies With Derek and Julianne Hough” (ABC): A star-studded cast of singers, dancers and actors pays homage to iconic moments of dance on film.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• BTS — Jungkook shocked fans by unveiling a new Instagram username. His old username (get ready) “@abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz” was loved for its quirkiness and its cleverness. The long string of letters was different from typical usernames, and the omission of J and K from the alphabet was a clever nod to Jungkook’s name. His new name? “jungkook.97”. He has 34 million followers.
• Ed Sheeran – says the first single from his next “project” will arrive this month. When asked about his next album, he has a “curveball” planned. Quote: “We’ve got the first thing of it dropping in 10 days … I don’t think it’s gonna be a massive hit in New Zealand though…It’s gonna be a big hit, somewhere else. When you hear it, you’ll understand.”
• Prince – His “Camille” album will come out via Jack White’s Third Man Records. The unreleased LP was recorded in 1986, under the feminine pseudonym Camille, with Prince singing in a higher-pitched style. No release date has yet been announced for the 8-song record.
• Def Leppard – have dropped the new single ‘Kick’. It will appear on the just-announced album “Diamond Star Halos”, out May 27. It’s the band’s 12th full-length album, and first of new material since 2015. Allison Krauss guests on 2 songs. LINK: https://youtu.be/SeWFvZX2lkI
• Rush — Geddy Lee will make a guest appearance on Monday’s episode of the CBC mystery drama “Murdoch Mysteries”. The episode is titled “Devil Music”. Meanwhile, Alex Lifeson has announced he is selling more than 100 items — including guitars he used on classic Rush albums, wardrobe, gear and memorabilia — as part of Julien’s Auctions “Music Icons” event on May 22.
• Sammy Hagar — After writing an autobiography and a cookbook, his next book shares 85 of his “personal favorite” drink recipes. The forward is written by friend and Food Network host Guy Fieri. “Sammy Hagar’s Cocktail Hits” comes out March 29.
• Elvis Presley — “Elvis,” Baz Luhrmann’s drama of the rock-and-roll legend, starring Austin Butler and Tom Hanks, will have its world premiere at the Cannes Film Festival. It is currently set for release on June 24.
• Lainey Wilson, Lindsay Ell and BRELAND — are among the rotating list of acts who will perform in “May We All: A New Country Music”, a stage musical produced by Brian Kelley of Florida Georgia Line. The artists will step into the role of ‘Bailey Stone’ during the world premiere in Nashville June 7-July 17. The roster also includes LOCASH, RaeLynn, and many others.
• Carly Pearce – has an odd way of taking care of her mental health – grocery shopping. In a recent interview, she said she frequently takes trips to the supermarket to clear her head and relax. Quote: “I know that that sounds crazy…I wind down, get everything I need, go home, make dinner, drink a glass of wine. That’s kinda how I decompress.”
• Kane Brown — leads this year’s CMT Music Awards nominations with 4. He’s closely followed by Kelsea Ballerini, Mickey Guyton, BRELAND and Cody Johnson with 3 noms each. The 2022 CMT Music Awards will be hosted by Ballerini and “Avengers” star Anthony Mackie on April 15.
SHOOTING THE BULL
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “X” (R-Rated, Horror/Mystery): In 1979, a group of young filmmakers set out to make an adult film in rural Texas, but when their reclusive, elderly hosts catch them in the act, the cast find themselves fighting for their lives.
• “Umma” (PG-13, Horror): Amanda and her daughter live a quiet life on a farm, but when the remains of her estranged mother arrive from Korea, Amanda becomes haunted by the fear of turning into her own mom. (Sandra Oh, Dermot Mulroney)
• “The Unbreakable Boy” (PG, Drama): A young boy lives with both a rare brittle-bone disease and autism. But what makes him truly unique is his joyous, funny, life-affirming world view that transforms and unites everyone around him. (Zachary Levi, Peter Facinelli)
VR CAR:
Because no one over the age of 14 asked for it, Audi is delivering. The car company has announced that, beginning this summer, it will offer the option of VR entertainment systems in select vehicles. But don’t worry – it will be available to backseat passengers only. Tech startup Holoride, which promises to “Turn vehicles into moving theme parks,” says its system will allow Audi passengers to blend what they see on the actual journey with augmented reality elements through motion-synchronization technology. Riders will be able to “fly” over rainforests or enter a virtual office to join a work call, all from the backseat of the car, according to the company. Holoride says the technology adapts the experiences to each trip’s length, location and the driving style of the person at the wheel to offer new content each time you climb into the car. As for the future, the company sees a world where in self-driving vehicles, both the driver and passengers will be able to learn, work, and play games while on the go. LINK: https://youtu.be/uodd9DmVmKY
(…just in case your kids aren’t ALREADY loud enough in the back seat!)
(As if my passengers don’t already scream enough when I’m behind the wheel!)
(Of course, some idiot will find a way to use this thing while driving – remember Pokemon Go?)
-CNN
TURD WORD:
Yes, a lot of us have a fear of public speaking, but it turns out that even more are afraid of — having to go to the loo in a public restroom. A new survey of 2,000 Americans about their bathroom preferences found 69% hate going #2 in public so much, they hold it until they can be in the comfort of their own home. It’s not what I expected, but men were more likely to hold it in, at 74%, compared to 65% of women. On average, respondents said they are willing to put off pooing for 2½ hours in order to go at home — men are willing to wait 3 hours, compared to 2 hours for women.
(My problem is that I usually have to wait for another hour at home – I’ve got teenage girls!)
(Speaking in public, or going to a public toilet . . . they’re both the same to me. Either way, I’m gonna take a huge crap!)
-StudyFinds
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A man was shocked to wake up and find a complete stranger had decided to park on his driveway – and it wasn’t just for a few hours. Zekarias Haile, who lives near Manchester Airport in the UK, says the car was left in his driveway by someone headed off for spring break who didn’t want to fork out for expensive parking at the airport. Which would make sense, considering the Range Rover remined there for FOUR DAYS! Haile called cops who told him it was not a criminal act, so they couldn’t help him. The car stayed in place for the entire weekend but it had gone when Haile got up on Monday morning. Fortunately, he had parked his own car on the road. (If it were me, they might have got their car back, but definitely not their hubcaps!)
➢ A man who spent the night in what he thought was an Airbnb discovered the next morning that he had slept in the wrong house…when the owner knocked on the door. Paul Drecksler, who traveled to Miami to officiate a friend’s wedding, said he arrived at what he thought was his Airbnb at 2 a.m. Everything appeared in order at the house, which had been left unlocked. The bed was made and “There were 2 clean folded towels” left out for him. The next morning, he was awakened by a knock from a man who informed him: “This is my house.” Drecksler soon discovered his actual Airbnb was next door, and he had entered the wrong address on Google maps. He appreciated that the homeowner was understanding, pointing out: “He could have come in shooting or could have called the police or a combination of both.” (It’s Florida. #1 is most likely!)
-Yahoo, UPI
DID YOU KNOW?
Lily Bullen, a spirited grandmother of 5 and great-grandmother of 4, turned 102 last month. And how did she celebrate? Pretty much the same way she has lived her entire life – by downing shots of tequila. Bullen, of Worcestershire, England, credits her spunk and long life to the Mexican liquor, Domino’s pizza, sausage rolls and cream cakes. Her advice for youngsters: “Live one day at a time because tomorrow is never promised.”
-NYPost
BS CHRONOMETER 03.18.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Awkward Moments Day”, a day to celebrate the humor in life’s uncomfortable and embarrassing situations … which we normally fail to see until years later. (If you need me, I’ll be sitting in the corner re-living my personal top-20…)
• “Biodiesel Day”, in honor of the clean-burning fuel that can be used in any diesel engine with no conversion whatsoever. It is derived from 100% renewable resources like soybeans, canola, mustard seed, even recycled cooking oil. The day is celebrated on the anniversary of the 1858 birth of Rudolph Diesel, the German inventor of the diesel engine. (What are the odds?)
• “Forgive Mom & Dad Day”. No matter how lousy they were as parents, it’s time to let it go and get on with your life. (I’m still not forgiving them for my nose…)
• “Sloppy Joe Day”, America’s all-time favorite hot sandwich, it is often made with ground beef, onions, tomato sauce, brown sugar, cola or maple syrup to sweeten it, and seasonings to spice it, all served up on a hamburger bun or roll.
• “Goddess of Fertility Day”, celebrating Aphrodite and other gods and goddesses of fertility. Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation. Her Roman equivalent is the Goddess Venus.
• “World Sleep Day”, an international celebration of sleep, and a call to action on important issues related to sleep, including medicine, education, and driving. (Scientists have finally determined exactly how much sleep we need: “Just 5 more minutes…”) LINK: http://www.worldsleepday.org
SATURDAY-
• “Chocolate Caramel Day”, an annual celebration of everything great about chocolate and caramel. (Like cavities?)
• “Poultry Day”, celebrating chicken, turkey, and other farm-raised fowl that we commonly consume. Plus, they give us eggs. (If they had a say in it, we’d celebrate by eating pork!)
• “Client’s Day”, a day created for the purpose of letting all of your clients know just how glad you are that they’ve chosen your company.
• “Let’s Laugh Day”, laughter decreases stress hormones and increases antibodies, boosting your immunity. Laughing also helps relax your muscles and helps you de-stress. Plus, it improves your blood pressure and decreases pain. And, laughing actually burns calories — how about that?
• “St Joseph’s Day”, the day that the swallows traditionally return to the Mission San Juan Capistrano, an excuse for the annual “Fiesta de las Golindrinas”. Every March 19th since 1776 (with few exceptions), the birds have come back to usher in Spring in the Southern California seaside town. Their return is now an annual tourist attraction.
• “Maple Syrup Saturday”, a celebration of the running of the sap from which they make liquid gold. About 75% of the world’s supply is produced in Canada, with 91% of that coming from the province of Québec.
SUNDAY-
• “Spring Arrives”, the new season officially begins in the Northern Hemisphere with the Vernal Equinox today at 11:33am EDT. It also marks the beginning of Autumn in the Southern Hemisphere, although some countries observe the meteorological beginning of Fall on March 1.
SCIENTIFIC REASONS SPRING IS THE MOST DELIGHTFUL SEASON:
– Temperatures are moderate. In many areas over the Winter, they are horrific.
– More daylight. Exposure to sunlight increases serotonin in your brain, making you feel happy.
– Animals and birds that have migrated return, and they’re having babies everywhere.
– Trees sprout leaves. Spring leaf growth ensures a cool canopy during the hot Summer.
– Plants turn green. It’s amazing what a little sunlight, moisture and warm soil can do for them.
– Flowers bloom. Science has proven that just looking at buttercups can make you happy.
– Your pets shed their extra-thick fur, making them seem trimmer and more full-of-life.
– You can open your windows and allow the breeze to refresh your home.
– You get vitamins naturally. Sunlight triggers your body to produce vitamin D, for instance.
• “Proposal Day”, when both men & women are encouraged to pop the big question. Coincidentally it’s also “Kiss Your Fiancée Day”. (Who do you think are the most eligible celebrity singles?)
• “Atheist Pride Day”, an unofficial salute to non-believers. Many mark the occasion by changing their Facebook profile picture to a stylized capital ‘A’. Green is the chosen color for the day, standing for ‘natural’ as opposed to ‘supernatural’.
• “Extraterrestrial Abductions Day”, honoring all those who claim they’ve been abducted by aliens. (Hey, I’m as fascinated with aliens as the next guy, but let’s not get carried away!)
• “International Day of Happiness”, adopted in 2012 by the UN in acknowledgment that the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental human goal. (So, we might as well get it over with…)
HAPPIEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD, 2021 (according to the World Happiness Report):
1. Finland
2. Denmark
3. Switzerland
4. Iceland
5. Netherlands (the 2022 list will be released today)
• “World Storytelling Day”, a global celebration of the art of oral storytelling.
• “Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day”, to remember and honor Fred Rogers, the iconic children’s TV presenter of “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood”. He was born on this date in 1928 in Latrobe, PA.
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959 [63] Irene Cara [Escalara], The Bronx NY, pop singer (‘Fame’, ‘Flashdance…What A Feeling’)/movie actress (“Fame”, “Sparkle”
1963 [59] Vanessa Williams, Millwood NY, TV actress (“Ugly Betty” 2006-10, “Desperate Housewives” 2010-12)/pop singer (‘Save the Best for Last’)/first African-American to earn the title of Miss America, in 1984
1966 [56] Jerry Cantrell, Tacoma WA, alt-rock guitarist-vocalist (Alice in Chains-‘Man in the Box’, ‘Rooster’)
1970 [52] Queen Latifah [Dana Owens], Newark NJ, movie actress (“Chicago”, “Hairspray”)/TV actress “Living Single”, 1993-98/TV host “The Queen Latifah Show” 1999-2001, 2013-15)/hip hop-jazz-pop singer (‘U.N.I.T.Y.’)
1972 [50] Dane Cook, Cambridge MA, comedian/movie actor (“Good Luck Chuck”, “Employee of the Month”)
1974 [48] Philip Sweet, Pocahontas AR, country singer (Little Big Town-‘Pontoon’, ‘Girl Crush’)
1979 [43] Adam Levine, LA CA, pop singer (Maroon 5-‘Moves Like Jagger’, ft. Cardi B-‘Girls Like You’)/TV personality (“The Voice” 2011-19)/TV actor (“American Horror Story” 2012)
1989 [33] Lily Collins, Surrey UK, movie actress (“Mirror, Mirror”, “The Blind Side”)/daughter of Phil Collins
SATURDAY- Ursula Andress (“Dr. No”) is 86; Glenn Close (“Fatal Attraction”) is 75; Bruce Willis (“Die Hard”) is 67; Zach Lind (Jimmy Eat World) is 46
SUNDAY- Retired NHL star Bobby Orr is 74; Spike Lee (“BlacKkKlansman”) is 65; Holly Hunter (“The Incredibles”) is 64; Model Kathy Ireland is 59; Michael Rapaport (“Boston Public”) is 52; Ruby Rose (“Batwoman”) is 36
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [13] 45-year-old Natasha Richardson (Mrs. Liam Neeson) dies in NYC following a head injury suffered 2 days earlier during a ski lesson at Mont Tremblant, Québec
2020 [02] Gal Gadot posts a video of herself and a host of celebrities singing ‘Imagine’ line-by-line from their places of quarantine during the pandemic. It doesn’t quite elicit the reaction she’s after. . .
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [20] Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, The Ramones, Talking Heads, Isaac Hayes and Brenda Lee are among those inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
2017 [05] Rock pioneer Chuck Berry dies at age 90
2017 [05] Katy Perry accepts the National Equality Award from the Human Rights Campaign for her work supporting LGBTQ causes. In her speech, she admits that she did more than just “kiss a girl”.
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001 [21] Indiana Pacers’ Reggie Miller becomes the first NBA player to make 2,000 career 3-pointers after hitting 4 of them vs Sacramento (finishes career with a record 2,560)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1981 [41] The Buffalo Sabres set an NHL record of 9 goals in 1 period (vs Toronto Maple Leafs)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The two highest IQ scores in recorded history belong to women.
✓ To “snirtle” means to laugh with snorts.
✓ Sharks are the only fish that can blink.
✓ Tigers cannot purr. When they are happy or feel safe, they squint or close their eyes.
✓ Parachutes (invented in 1783) are older than airplanes (invented in 1903).
✓ Couples who diet while on vacation argue 3 times more often.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, FactRetriever
Best of BS . . .
BS SELF-HELP BOOKS THAT DIDN’T SELL:
• “If at First You Don’t Succeed, Lower Your Standards”
• “Overcoming Your Superstitions in 13 Easy Steps”
• “How to Stop Shoplifting Books”
• “How to Run From Your Problems and Avoid Responsibilities”
• “Garfunkel’s Guide to Being the Popular One”
• “You Got the Wrong Self Help Book: Can’t You Do Anything Right?”
• “Counting to 10 in 10 Easy Steps”
• “Gain That Last 10 Pounds…Easily!”
• “Improving You’re Grammar”
• “Have You Considered Just Giving Up?”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
BS THINGS FOUND DURING SPRING CLEANING:
What have you dug up around the house that you’d forgotten you had? Perhaps …
• A box of useful 5-and-a-quarter-inch floppy discs.
• Vintage hairballs, courtesy of ‘Fluffy’.
• That copy of “Purple Rain” you were sure your girlfriend stole when she left … in 1998.
• A valuable collection of fridge mold … 10 years in the fermenting.
• Your stockpile of microwave popcorn from ‘Y2K’.
• A complete set of ‘Garbage Pail Kids’ cards.
• The OTHER pink sock you thought the dryer ate.
• Or maybe just … your hatred of Spring Cleaning?
BS WEB GOODIE:
Mission possible: https://tinyurl.com/2p843pce
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Home is where the water doesn’t taste weird.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What word would make a pretty baby name if it didn’t mean what it means? (We’re going with ‘Omelette’…or ‘Melancholy’…or maybe Trampoline!)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average couple spends 10 minutes a day arguing about THIS. What is it?
Answer: What (or where) to eat
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.
