Friday, March 30, 2007        Edition: #3499
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Edition!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
SATURDAY Justin Timberlake hosts Nickelodeon’s 20th annual “Kid’s Choice Awards” in LA, honoring the best in favorites in film, TV, music, sports, video games & books as voted by kids (he’s nominated for Best Male Singer’ and is a 2-time ‘Best Burp Award’-winner previously) . . . SATURDAY 31-year-old Tara Reid, former movie actress (“American Pie”) & failed TV host (“Wild On …”) begins a new career as restaurateur, opening a new LA eatery called ‘Ketchup’ (not as wacky a move as it sounds – she’s already a shareholder in 3 other restaurants) . . . SUNDAY “Wrestlemania 23” invades Detyroit MI, featuring the ‘Battle of the Billionaires’ where WWE boss Vince McMahon & Donald Trump each back a wrestler and the winning billionaire snips off the other’s hair (the lead-up hype included a fake fight between these buffoons at a press conference) . . . Oprah Winfrey is jumping into the reality TV biz with “The Big Give” (ABC), in which 10 people are handed a wad of money and challenged to find dramatic ways to use it to help others (it’s “Extreme Makeover: ATM Edition”) . . . A report says British security sources have uncovered a plot by an LA gang to kidnap Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt’s newly adoped 3-year-old son, Pax, and hold him for a $100-million ransom (for what’s it’s worth, Brangelina reps are denying it) . . . Nona Paris Lola Jackson, the wacky UK woman who’s repeatedly claimed to be the mother of Michael Jackson’s 3 kids, has now filed papers claiming she delivered his brood via ‘water birth’ and she’s seeking shared physical custody and child support plus – the deed to Neverland Ranch (well, that seems reasonable then) . . . It’s just been announced the release date for Scarlett Johansson’s new movie “The Nanny Diaries” has been delayed 5 months until DECEMBER so ‘it will benefit come awards time from better scheduling’ (translation from Hollywoodese: the film’s a complete mess and it’s gonna take another half-year of intensive editing & retakes to salvage it) . . . A smaller 3-day version of Montreal’s “Just For Laughs” comedy festival is coming to Toronto JULY 26th which, if successful, may become an annual event (providing more material to rerun on TV in perpetuity) . . . “Survivor” host Jeff Probst has confirmed rumors that another ‘All-Star’ season may be in the offing as well as the possibility of a season in a colder climate (“Survivor: Portage & Main”?) . . . And NBA star Lebron James (Cleveland Cavaliers) has a new mansion in Ohio that reportedly includes a casino, bowling alley, barber shop, aquarium, sports bar, recording studio, and walk-in closet in the master bedroom – that’s 2-stories-tall (unless you happen to be 6′-8”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arcade Fire – TOMORROW they’re the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by actor Rainn Wilson (“The “Office”).
• Elliott Yamin – The former “American Idol” finalist has made the highest-ever new artist debut on an indie label. His self-titled CD currently ranks #3 on “Billboard’s” album chart.
• Gwen Stefani – TODAY she’s a guest on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Keith Urban – A friend of his wife Nicole Kidman tells Australia’s “Woman’s Day” mag that the couple are expecting their 1st child. So far, there’s been no confirmation from the ‘Kirban’ camp.
• Madonna – THIS MORNING she’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Radiohead – Now that Paul McCartney’s on board, buzz has it the Brit rockers (“Creep”) may be next to sign with Starbucks’ new record label Hear Music. If true, it would certainly give the label some credibility.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Blades of Glory” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Will Ferrell & Jon Heder (“Napoleon Dynamite”) play rival Olympic skaters who’ve been stripped of their gold medals and banned from men’s singles competition. But the wiseacres discover a loophole that allows them to compete … as a pairs team. Co-stars real-life skating team Amy Poehler & Will Arnett; Jenna Fischer (“The Office”); Craig T Nelson (“Coach”); and Andy Richter (“Andy Barker PI”). Partially shot in Montréal.
NET: http://www.bladesofglorymovie.com/
• “The Lookout” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Joseph Gordon-Levitt portrays a once promising high school athlete whose potential career in sports is ended by a tragic accident. After he hits rock bottom, he ends up taking a job as a janitor at a bank where he eventually gets caught up in a planned heist. Co-stars Jeff Daniels & Matthew Goode. Shot in Winnipeg & Hartney, Manitoba.
NET: http://www.thelookout-movie.com/
• “Meet the Robinsons” ( G-Rated Animated Family Adventure ): A boy genius named ‘Lewis’ meets a mysterious stranger named ‘Wilbur Robinson’ who offers to whisk him into the future using a time travel machine in order to track down the nefarious ‘Bowler Hat Guy’ who stole a valuable invention. Features the voices of Daniel Hansen & Wesley Singerman, plus Angela Bassett, Adam West (TV’s “Batman”) & Tom Selleck (“Magnum PI”).
NET: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/meettherobinsons/

36th JUNO AWARDS:
SUNDAY Nelly Furtado hosts from the Credit Union Centre in Saskatoon (CTV). A few highlights …
• The show airs live at 7 pm ET, 8 pm AT & 8:30 NT. A tape-delayed version airs at 7 pm MT, 9 pm CT & PT. Why all this confusion over scheduling? The network wants to simulcast a special 2-hour version of “Amazing Race” (CBS) in primetime. At one point, it was planning to shove Canada’s national music awards into a pre-taped post-10 pm time slot.
• Performances include Billy Talent, k-os, Three Days Grace, Gregory Charles, and the Tragically Hip.
• Nominations are led by Nelly Furtado, k-os, and Billy Talent with 5 apiece. Sarah Harmer, Hedley, Malajube, and Gregory Charles have 3 each.
• “Canadian Idol” winners Melissa O’Neil (2005) and Eva Avila (2006) are competing against each other in the ‘New Artist of the Year Category’.
NET: http://www.junoawards.ca/

THERE IS NO ‘NAPOLEON COMPLEX’?
Scientists at Britain’s University of Central Lancashire claim they have disproved the belief that shorter men tend to use anger to compensate for their lack of height. By studying the heart rates of men of all heights, it’s been confirmed that taller men are actually more likely to lose their tempers than their shorter counterparts. The researchers say the bottom line is – ‘Small Man Syndrome’ is a myth. (Yeah? How come so many little guys wanna be the boss then?)
– “Daily Mail”

FAKING IT FOR FUNDING:
A school district in Santa Ana CA is under investigation for allegedly faking class lists and hiring extra substitute teachers in order to get more funding per student. At one elementary school, officials created a bogus 2nd-grade roster that put real students in a class that didn’t exist. Thus, by reducing class sizes on paper at least, it qualified for an additional $1,024 per student per year. The school kept the class going by hiring a substitute teacher to come in and travel through the existing classes, teaching only the kids on her roster for a few hours a week. State officials say they believe the school district’s actions may be illegal. (It’s a sad state of affairs when school’s have to commit fraud to get proper funding.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

THE BIRDMAN OF EMERALD CITY:
THIS WEEK the Seattle Humane Society was shocked to discover a man in his 50s had been sharing his apartment with … 110 parakeets. You could reportedly hear the noise from the street. After complaints from neighbors led to an investigation, it was discovered the wacko had the entire flock cooped up in a single cage in his living room. The man admits the birds didn’t have ideal living conditions and will not be charged with animal cruelty due to his cooperation. (A better penalty would be a jail cell – with 109 other inmates.)
– “Seattle Post-Intelligencer”

TRASHY ART:
Since going on display LAST WEEK in Rome, Italy, some 1,000 artworks made from recycled garbage have attracted more than a million viewers. “The Trash People”, created by German artist HA Schult, were created from tin cans, computers, crushed plastic and other recycled refuse. Schult says he hopes the project serves to remind people of the waste produced by modern consumerism and the problems it will create for future generations. (We have a similar exhibition of recyclables locally – it’s displayed alongside every street in town once a week.)
– ANSA

FOR THE RECORD:
56-year-old Chinese livestock herder Bao Xishun, the “Guinness Book of World Records” tallest living man at 7′-9”, has ended his search for a wife by wedding a woman from his hometown of Chifeng. After sending out marriage advertisements across the world and going through a long selection process, he finally settled on a 29-year-old hometown honey, Xia Shujuan. And just to complete the mental picture … the bride is more than 2-ft shorter than her new hubby.
– “Bangkok Post”

BS AMAZING FACT:
When asked to draw an ‘E’ on their foreheads, those who feel most powerful are more likely to draw it backwards for an onlooker, a symptom of ignoring others’ perspectives.
– “Psychology Today”

AND WE QUOTE:
“I was a buffoon and an idiot until the age of 40.”
– Madonna, perhaps underestimating herself at age 48. She’s still got it!

THE BULL SHEET 03.30.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [70] Warren Beatty, Richmond VA, movie actor/director/producer (1981 Oscar-“Reds”)/2007 Cecil B. DeMille Award at “Golden Globes”/married to actress Annette Bening since 1992

1945 [62] Eric Clapton, Ripley UK, classic rock singer/guitarist (Grammy Award-“Change the World”) who’s made it into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame with The Yardbirds (1992), Cream (1993), and as a solo performer (2000)

1964 [43] Tracy Chapman, Cleveland OH, folk/pop singer (“Give Me One Reason”, “Fast Car”)

1964 [43] Ian Ziering, Newark NJ, TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2007)/former TV actor (“Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-2000)

1968 [39] Celine Dion, Charlemagne QC, pop singer (“My Heart Will Go On”) who’s scheduled to wrap her 4-years-plus run at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas DECEMBER 15th/Canadian Walk of Fame (2003)

1979 [28] Norah Jones (Shankar), Brooklyn NY, pop singer (“Sinkin’ Soon”, 5 Grammy Awards-“Come Away With Me” album)

SATURDAY –
Hockey legend Gordie Howe is 79; Movie actor Christopher Walken (“Click”) is 64; Rock guitarist Angus Young (AC/DC) 52; Movie actor Ewan McGregor (“Star Wars”) is 36.

SUNDAY –
Movie actress Debbie Reynolds (“Singin’ in the Rain”) is 74; Movie producer/director Barry Sonnenfeld (“Men in Black”) is 53.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Alcohol Free Weekend”, thanks to the National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence … who apparently won’t be going to any “Final Four” parties.
• “Badminton Day”, honoring the sport anyone can play in their backyard … badly. It never really caught on when it was first introduced in the early 1800s, perhaps because it was then known as ‘Poona’.
• “Doctors’ Day”, commemorating the 1st use of anaesthetic during surgery by Dr Crawford W Long in 1842. He got the idea by observing party-goers inebriated on nitrous oxide and sulfuric ether.
• “Fun At Work Day”, the 12th annual observance of an official day to lighten up at the office.
• “Hot Dog Day”, in celebration of the marvellous invention of the tube steak, also known as the  frank, weenie, wienie, wiener, dog, or red hot. In 1987, the city of Frankfurt, Germany celebrated the 500th birthday of the frankfurter, but the invention didn’t become a ‘hot dog’ until someone sandwiched it in a bun, an idea attributed to German immigrants selling from pushcarts in NYC during the 1860s.
• “No Homework Day”, an annual opportunity on the last school day in MARCH for teachers to be heroes simply by NOT doing something … assigning homework. C’mon, be a sport!
• “Seward’s Day”, the anniversary of the 1867 US purchase of Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million or less than 2 cents an acre. At the time it was called ‘Seward’s Folly’ because Secretary of State William Seward was considered crazy for promoting the deal.
• “Take a Walk in the Park Day”, to encourage us to take the time for calming and therapeutic exercise that’s so darn easy to do … until you get mugged.

SATURDAY –
• “Bunsen Burner Day”, honoring the 1811 birth date of its inventor, Robert Wilhelm Eberhard von Bunsen of Germany. Thanks to him, hundreds of high school labs have been blown up!
• “Clams-on-the-Half-Shell Day”, followed by ‘Pass-the-Upchuck-Bucket Night’.
• “NCAA Final Four” basketball championship in Atlanta GA. Winners of SATURDAY’s semis go on to the championship game MONDAY night.
• “Muhammad’s Birthday” (“Mawlid an-Nabi”), a national holiday observed with parades, festivals and feasts in every Muslim country except Saudi Arabia (the Wahhabi sect considers it an ‘innovation’). Though the exact date of the Prophet’s birth is disputed, it is usually observed on either day 9 or 12 of the lunar month of Rabi’ al-awwal.

SUNDAY –
• “April Fool’s Day”, a custom of playing practical jokes that goes back to ancient Rome. The modern observance originated with the reform of the calendar when “New Year’s Day” was moved from APRIL 1 to JANUARY 1. Those who clung to the old “New Year’s Day” were scoffed at as ‘fools’ and sent fake party invitations and prank gifts. That tradition began in France around 1564, where an ‘April Fool’ is called a ‘poisson d’avril’ (April fish). “April Fools” is the one of the busiest times of the year for the ‘joke & gag’ biz which brings in $250 million annually in the US alone, quite amazing considering most gags go for about a buck-a-pop. Classic gags are still among the most popular, including hand-buzzers, whoopee cushions and fake dog poop. But watch out for rubber vomit … it’s on a roll!
• “One Cent Day”, celebrating the world’s most useless currency.
• “Repot Your Plant Day” … or is it “Replant Your Pot Day”? We can never get it straight.
• “Sleep Day”, to encourage the sleep-deprived to get ‘8 Zs, please’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1964 [43] 1st edition of TV game show “Jeopardy!” (Original host. Who is Art Fleming?)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1858 [149] Hyman Lipman invents 1st ‘Pencil with Attached Eraser’ (needed something to chew on?)

1889 [118] America’s 1st ‘Golf Course’ opens, in Yonkers NY

1935 [72] 1st ‘Newfie Time’ as Newfoundland changes zone to 3.5 hours West of Greenwich

1954 [53] Canada’s 1st mass transit ‘Subway’ opens in Toronto

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1987 [20] On the 134th anniversary of the birth of the artist, Vincent van Gogh’s “Sunflowers” is sold for $39.85 million, more than triple the previous record for an auctioned painting (TODAY’s a great day to play ‘Pin the Ear on the Van Gough’!)

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Apr 2] Don’t Go To Work Unless It’s Fun Day / Full ‘Pink’ Moon / NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship Game (Atlanta GA)
[Apr 3] Passover begins (Jewish) / Armenian Appreciation Day
[Apr 4] Tell-A-Lie Day / “Are We Done Yet?”; “Firehouse Dog” open in movie theaters
[Apr 5-8] Masters Golf Tournament (Augusta GA)
[Apr 5] “The Reaping” open in movie theaters / Equal Pay Day / Road Map Day
[Apr 6] Plan Your Epitaph Day / Good Friday / Ex-Spouse’s Day / Walk to Work Day / “Grindhouse”; “The Reaping” open in movie theaters
[Apr 7] Tartan Day / Hug Your Newsman Day / No Housework Day / World Health Day
[Apr 8] Easter Sunday / “The Sopranos” final episodes begin (HBO)
[Apr 9] Chicken Little Awareness Day / Name Yourself Day / Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day / Toronto Blue Jays home opener / Easter Monday
[Apr 10] Siblings Day / Salvation Army Founders Day / Golfers Day
[Apr 11] Barbershop Quartet Day
[Apr 12] Vote Lawyers Out of Office Day / Teens Against Zits Day / Thank You School Librarian Day
[Apr 13] Scrabble Day / “Disturbia”; “Perfect Stranger”; “Slow Burn” open in movie theaters / Audubon Day
[Apr 15] Husband Appreciation Day / That Sucks Day / “Drive” debuts (FOX)
[Apr 16] 2007 CMT Music Awards (Nashville TN) / Stress Awareness Day / 111th Boston Marathon / “Spider-Man 3″ premiere (Tokyo, Japan)
[Apr 17] Canadian Equality Day / Blah Blah Blah Day / International Ford Mustang Day
[Apr 18] Pet Owners Independence Day / Teach Children To Save Day / International Jugglers Day
[Apr 19] Garlic Day
[Apr 20] 420 / Astronomy Day / “Rogue” opens in movie theaters
[Apr 21] Kindergarten Day / Clergy Day / NBA playoffs begin
[Apr 22] Earth Day / Jelly Bean Day / “The Producers” closes (Broadway NYC)
[Apr 23] World Lab Animal Day / St George’s Day Holiday (NL)
[Apr 23-29] 13th TV-Turnoff Week
[Apr 25] 38th GMA Dove Awards (Nashville TN) / Anzac Day (Australia/NZ) / Hug an Australian Day / Administrative Professionals Day
[Apr 26] Richter Scale Day / Pretzel Day
[Apr 27] Child Care Professionals Day / Hairball Awareness Day / Sense of Smell Day / “Next”; “The Invisible” open in movie theaters / Bird Day
[Apr 27-29] Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival (Indio CA)
[Apr 27-May 6] 38th New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival
[Apr 28] Kiss Your Mate Day / Great Poetry Reading Day / Day of Remembrance for Persons Killed or Injured in the Workplace
[Apr 29] Zipper Day / Puppetry Day / Arbor Day
[Apr 30] Hairstylist Appreciation Day / Honesty Day / International Walk Day / Canadian Income Tax deadline
[May 13] Mothers Day
[May 15] 42nd ACM Awards (Las Vegas NV)

[Apr 2] Don’t Go To Work Unless It’s Fun Day / Full ‘Pink’ Moon / NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship Game (Atlanta GA)
[Apr 3] Passover begins (Jewish) / Armenian Appreciation Day
[Apr 4] Tell-A-Lie Day / “Are We Done Yet?”; “Firehouse Dog” open in movie theaters
[Apr 5-8] Masters Golf Tournament (Augusta GA)
[Apr 5] “The Reaping” open in movie theaters / Equal Pay Day / Road Map Day
[Apr 6] Plan Your Epitaph Day / Good Friday / Ex-Spouse’s Day / Walk to Work Day / “Grindhouse”; “The Reaping” open in movie theaters
[Apr 7] Tartan Day / Hug Your Newsman Day / No Housework Day / World Health Day
[Apr 8] Easter Sunday / “The Sopranos” final episodes begin (HBO)
[Apr 9] Chicken Little Awareness Day / Name Yourself Day / Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day / Easter Monday
[Apr 10] Siblings Day / Salvation Army Founders Day / Golfers Day
[Apr 11] Barbershop Quartet Day
[Apr 12] Vote Lawyers Out of Office Day / Teens Against Zits Day / Thank You School Librarian Day
[Apr 13] Scrabble Day / “Disturbia”; “Perfect Stranger”; “Slow Burn” open in movie theaters / Audubon Day
[Apr 15] Husband Appreciation Day / That Sucks Day / “Drive” debuts (FOX)
[Apr 16] 2007 CMT Music Awards (Nashville TN) / Stress Awareness Day / 111th Boston Marathon / “Spider-Man 3″ premiere (Tokyo, Japan)
[Apr 17] Blah Blah Blah Day / International Ford Mustang Day / IRS Tax Day
[Apr 18] Pet Owners Independence Day / Teach Children To Save Day / International Jugglers Day
[Apr 19] Garlic Day
[Apr 20] 420 / Astronomy Day / “Rogue” opens in movie theaters
[Apr 21] Kindergarten Day / Clergy Day / NBA playoffs begin
[Apr 22] Earth Day / Jelly Bean Day / “The Producers” closes (Broadway NYC)
[Apr 23] World Lab Animal Day
[Apr 23-29] 13th TV-Turnoff Week
[Apr 25] 38th GMA Dove Awards (Nashville TN) / Anzac Day (Australia/NZ) / Hug an Australian Day / Administrative Professionals Day
[Apr 26] Richter Scale Day / Pretzel Day / Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day
[Apr 27] Child Care Professionals Day / Hairball Awareness Day / Sense of Smell Day / “Next”; “The Invisible” open in movie theaters / Bird Day
[Apr 27-29] Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival (Indio CA)
[Apr 27-May 6] 38th New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival
[Apr 28] Kiss Your Mate Day / Great Poetry Reading Day / Day of Remembrance for Persons Killed or Injured in the Workplace
[Apr 28-29] NFL draft (NYC)
[Apr 29] Zipper Day / Puppetry Day / Arbor Day
[Apr 30] Hairstylist Appreciation Day / Honesty Day / International Walk Day
[May 13] Mothers Day
[May 15] 42nd ACM Awards (Las Vegas NV)

BULL’S BITS

TOP TUNES FOR THE BABY BOOM:
Highlights of a new Smooth Radio, London UK poll asking close to 4,000 over-50 adults their favorite all-time songs …
5. Gnarls Barkley – “Crazy”
4. Ben E King – “Stand By Me”
3. Led Zeppelin – “Stairway to Heaven”
2. Chris De Burgh – “Lady in Red”
1. John Lennon – “Imagine”
– BBC News

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Research shows that people who do THIS in the morning reduce their caloric intake during the day by 250 calories.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Eat eggs.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is funny if you don’t think about it.