Friday, March 23, 2007        Edition: #3494
BS You Can Actually Look Forward To In the Morning!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “Miss USA 2007” airs live from the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles (NBC) and rather than cover up the past year’s fiascoes, the organizers intend to squeeze every last bit of PR they can from LAST YEAR’s re-habbed ‘Mess USA’ Tara Conner (no word if disgraced Miss Nevada USA Katie Rees [booted out due to racy online photos] or Miss New Jersey USA Ashley Harder [resigned due to pregnancy] will appear) . . . SUNDAY Google’s much-watched video-sharing site announces its 1st-ever “YouTube Video Awards”, recognizing the best user-created videos of 2006 in 7 categories: ‘Most Creative’, ‘Most Inspirational’, ‘Best Series’, ‘Best Comedy’, ‘Musician of the Year’, ‘Best Commentary’ and ‘Most Adorable Video Ever’ (and we’re guessing ‘Best Fake Amateur’ goes to Lonelygirl15) . . . SUNDAY the 2nd season of KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons’ reality-TV show with his former “Playboy” model wife Shannon Tweed (nee St John’s NL) and their 2 teens, “Gene Simmons Family Jewels”, debuts (A&E) and if online photos prove true, we’re gonna be seeing some really icky cosmetic surgery this season – dual facelifts! . . . A report says Britney Spears has agreed to an out-of-court divorce settlement giving estranged hubby Kevin Federline about $20 million, which breaks down to $2 million in cash; plus half of her earnings during their 2-year marriage; and half of the profit from selling their Malibu CA marital home (not bad pay for K-Fed – about $38 per minute!) . . . THIS WEEKEND Kevin Federline plans to celebrate his 29th birthday in Las Vegas since a planned party at a Hollywood nightclub was cancelled on the actual big day, WEDNESDAY (one report says it was called off due to ‘lack of sponsors’) . . . And Nicole Richie’s rep is claiming TV’s twig-woman has been diagnosed with ‘hypoglycemia’, which was the cause of her hospitalization earlier THIS MONTH (one way to treat hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, is – EAT!!!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – TOMORROW she’ll perform several hits from “Some Hearts” as the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by Super Bowl QB Peyton Manning.
• Daughtry – TONIGHT he performs a free concert in Greensboro NC as a  prelude to the NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament games SATURDAY and MONDAY.
• Dave Matthews Band – TONIGHT they kick off their 2007 tour with a 2-night stand at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas NV. The Fray is set to open. DMB is then heading to Australia.
• Diana Ross – TOMORROW the Motown diva (seen recently as an “American Idol” coach) headlines the 13th annual “Celebrity Fight Night” charity event in Phoenix AZ, supporting Muhammad Ali’s efforts to help find a cure for Parkinson’s disease. She’ll be joined by Michael Buble & Reba McEntire, who’ll act as the evening’s emcee.
• Elton John – SUNDAY he celebrates his 60th birthday with a spectacular 2-hour concert at NYC’s Madison Square Garden (coincidentally his 60th appearance at the venue – a new record for any artist). It will be filmed for a TV special, which will include behind-the-scenes footage of TONIGHT’s private birthday party (he’s already thrown a costume party in Britain for his friends over the pond).
• George Strait – TONIGHT & tomorrow he hosts the 25th annual “George Strait Team Roping Classic” in San Antonio TX. Co-founded with his brother, it’s now one of the most respected competitions of its kind.
• Los Lonely Boys – SATURDAY they perform on “Mad TV” (FOX).
• Tim McGraw – TODAY he guests on “The View” (ABC/CTV).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Hills Have Eyes 2” ( R-Rated Horror ): A group of National Guard trainees find themselves battling against a vicious group of mutants on their last day of training in the New Mexico desert. No-name cast. A follow-up to 2006’s “The Hills Have Eyes” and a pseudo-remake of the 1985 Wes Craven film of the same name. Theme music here …
NET: http://www.foxatomic.com/#movie:TitleId=5
• “The Last Mimzy” ( PG Family Adventure ): A box of toys from the future gives a couple of kids amazing superpowers, which they use to terrorize their parents and teachers, as well as to do good deeds. But mostly to terrorize. Stars Timothy Hutton (“The Good Shepherd”); Rainn Wilson (“The Office”); Joely Richardson (“Nip/Tuck”); and a bunch of kids. Partially shot in Vancouver. Mysterious theme music here …
NET: http://www.mimzy.com/
• “Pride” ( PG Sports Drama ): Terrence Howard (“Crash”, “Hustle & Flow”) stars as real-life hero Jim Ellis, who coached a team of troubled inner-city Philadelphia kids all the way to the state swimming championships in the 1970s. Bernie Mac co-stars. Swimming SFX and trailer here …
NET: http://www.pridefilm.com/site.php
• “Reign Over Me” ( R-Rated Drama ): Adam Sandler plays it straight as a guy who goes into a severe depression and retreats from the world after losing his wife and kids in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Fortunately, an old college roommate (Don Cheadle) does his best to bring him back. Jada Pinkett Smith, Liv Tyler & Donald Sutherland co-star. Soundtrack includes Pearl Jam, The Killers and The Fray. Movie clips here …
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/reignoverme/index.html
• “TMNT ( PG Animated Adventure ): When a gazillionaire industrialist (voiced by Patrick Stewart) brings together a nasty army to conquer NYC, the ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ (‘Leonardo’, ‘Michelangelo’, ‘Donatello’ & ‘Raphael’) are called back into action to halt the devious plot. A retooling of the vintage TV series (1987-96) that spawned 3 movies (1990, ‘91, ‘93) and a relaunched grittier-looking TV show using CGI animation LAST YEAR. Not surprisingly, a line of movie-related toys are ready to roll out.
NET: http://tmnt.warnerbros.com/

METAL GURU:
A survey of over 1,000 teens reveals that many of the absolute brightest prefer … heavy metal music. The study by psychologist Stuart Cadwallader of the UK’s University of Warwick, notes that the ‘cream of the crop’, the top 5% of members of Britain’s exclusive National Academy for Gifted & Talented Youth, tend to be metal fans, a finding that contradicts the common association of heavy metal music with poor academic performance and delinquency. (We’re betting the eggheads are just yanking this guy’s chain.)
– PA News

BEDROOM ADVICE:
Are things a bit slow in the sack? Having problems getting your wife and/or girlfriend interested? Experts in romance say there may be small steps you can take to turn things around. For instance, uplug the TV (studies show couples without a TV have relations twice as often); throw away the barbecue (the scent of BBQ decreases blood flow to her ‘important’ areas); and use a floral-scented cleaner when vacuuming (jasmine and rose stimulate desire).
– “GQ”

WORLDWIDE BULL ROAR:
• In Italy, a 65-year-old in Naples has turned into a sort of human chameleon after suffering brain damage during a heart stoppage. Now the man automatically takes on the appearance and behavior of whoever he is with. For instance, when with physicians he assumes the role of a doctor; when with psychologists he says he is a psychologist; and in the hospital kitchen he quickly assumes the role of head chef. He maintains each of the roles with absolute conviction until the situation changes. (So [co-host] …. seems you’ve been hanging out with wusses.)
• In England, a 70-year-old Bedford man is suffering from a unique sleep disorder that turns him violent when he sleeps, and he often ends up injuring himself while swearing at the top of his lungs. So far he’s broken his nose; fractured his knuckles and 3 ribs; hit his head many times; and lost several pints of blood. But when he wakes up, he doesn’t remember any of it. He’s been hospitalized up to 3 times per week since developing the condition in 1998. (This guy’s wife must have a really innocent face and the ability to be very persuasive.)
• In NYC, the first ever case of same-sex sexual harassment is set to hit the courts, as 3 female employees at a welfare office are suing the city, claiming it failed to protect them after a female supervisor allegedly acted in an improper manner towards them, allegedly kissing them on the cheeks, foreheads, and necks, and sometimes leaving red lipstick marks on them. (On the positive side, the women made a pile of dough selling tickets to male co-workers.)

ENERGY SAVER:
There’s a readily-available, low-tech device that’s inexpensive and uses only natural, renewable energy, but most of us are ignoring it. What is it? The clothesline. Conservationists say it’s time to reconsider electric dryers. Why rely on one of the biggest household energy guzzlers when it only takes a few minutes to hang a load of laundry outdoors? And it leaves your laundry smelling springtime fresh – naturally. Even in northern climes, you should be able to dry your clothes outside at least 3 seasons out of 4. (Another plus is, when you bring your jeans in on frosty mornings, you can just stand them in the corner.)
– “Harrowsmith Country Life”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
The things we think; the stuff we do …
• 80% of those 30-plus say they clean house less than once a month. We do it more often here.
• 62% of us have concerns about the accuracy of reports made by ‘citizen journalists’, ie: bloggers, according to a new Gallup poll.
• 61% of us have concerns about the accuracy of reports made by ‘traditional journalists’ … in other words, the media.
• 34% of us say ‘the aroma of seduction’ smells like … baking bread.
• 16% of us admit to secretly stealing flowers from others in our neighborhood at least once.
• 13% of women say the best place to meet a man is in a post office.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Americans consume 16,000 tons of aspirin every year.
• Impotence is legal grounds for divorce in 24 US states.

THE BULL SHEET 03.23.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [58] Ric Ocasek, Baltimore MD, classic rock musician (The Cars-“Drive”, “My Best Friend’s Girl”)/married to model Paulina Porizkova (“Dancing With The Stars”) since 1989

1953 [54] Chaka Khan (Yvette Stevens), Great Lakes IL, R&B oldies singer (“I’m Every Woman”, “I Feel For You”)

1960 [47] George Fox, Cochrane AB, country singer with 4 CCMA Awards, 3 Junos and 23 top 10 hits (“I Give You My Word”, “Time Of My Life”)

1971 [36] Yasmeen Ghauri, Montréal QC, fashion model (Victoria’s Secret, Valentino Perfume)

1976 [31] Keri Russell, Fountain Valley CA, movie actress (“Mission: Impossible III”, “The Upside of Anger”)/TV actress (“Felicity” 1998-2002)

SATURDAY –
Environmentalist Dr David Suzuki (“The Nature of Things”) is 71; Classic rock bassist Dougie Thomson (Supertramp) is 56; Fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger (Tommy Girl) is 56; TV personality Star Jones Reynolds (Court TV) is 45; TV/movie actress Lara Flynn Boyle (“Shades of Black: The Conrad Black Story”) is 37; TV actress Alyson Hannigan (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 33; NFL QB Peyton Manning (Indianapolis Colts) is 31; Movie actress Keisha Castle-Hughes (“The Nativity Story”) is 17.

SUNDAY –
‘Queen of Soul’ Aretha Franklin (“Respect”) is 65; Pop singer Sir Elton John (“Candle in the Wind”) is 60; Brenda Strong (‘Mary Alice Young’-“Desperate Housewives”) is 47; TV actress Marcia Cross (‘Bree Van De Kamp’-“Desperate Housewives”) is 45; TV/movie actress Sarah Jessica Parker (ex-“Sex & the City”) is 42; Canadian blues singer-guitarist Jeff Healy (“Angel Eyes) is 41; Indy Racing League driver Danica Patrick is 25; “American Idol” runner-up Katharine McPhee (“Somewhere Over the Rainbow”) is 23.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “American Crossword Puzzle Tournament” through SUNDAY in Stamford CT, the oldest and largest crossword competition in the USA and perhaps the world. The 30th annual competition is directed by “NY Times” crossword puzzle editor Will Shortz. Try a little faux play-by-play. Audio clip here …
NET: http://www.crosswordtournament.com/
• “Chip & Dip Day”. While North Americans might pick ‘Sour Cream & Onion’ or ‘Salt & Vinegar’ chips, the top flavors for ‘crisps’ in the UK include ‘Roast Beef & Mustard’ and ‘Smoked Ham & Pickle’. The Swiss like ‘Paprika’, while Thais choose ‘Prawn’, and in Egypt ‘Kebab’ is popular. The best dip? ‘Hot Bean with Jalapenos’ … or is it?
• “Day of the Sea” (“El Dia del Mar”) in Bolivia, a bitter annual commemoration of the country losing its coastline to Chile during a battle back in 1879. Bolivians still nurture the hope they will one day retrieve what they still believe is theirs … 128 years later. Everybody’s got issues.
• “World Meteorological Day”, an annual UN observance to promote understanding of how weather, climate, and water affects us all. A lot of people seem to finally be getting it in the past couple years. This year’s theme is ‘Polar Meteorology: Understanding Global Impacts’.
NET: http://www.wmo.ch/wmd/

SATURDAY –
• “Chocolate Covered Raisins Day” … but not the kind you find in your son’s bunny cage.
• “Festival of the Swallows” (“Fiesta de las Golondrinas”), celebrating the annual return of swallows to the mission at San Juan Capistrano CA, yet another sign of Spring. TODAY’s 49th annual “Swallows’ Day Parade” is the big event.
NET: http://www.swallowsparade.com/
• “St Gabriel’s Day”, the patron saint of RADIO, postal and telephone workers.
• “Inspect Your Cat’s Tongue Day”. You know you’ve always wanted to see what makes your cat’s tongue feel like sandpaper … today’s the day to find out!

SUNDAY –
• “Greek Independence Day”, the anniversary of the country’s proclamation of independence in 1821. Maybe you didn’t know this but the very word ‘independence’ comes from the Greek …
• “Summer Time” begins, the European version of ‘Daylight Saving Time’ when the clocks ‘spring forward’. It runs through OCTOBER 28th. Keep that in mind if you’re flying to Paris today.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1743 [264] King George II invents the ‘Standing Ovation’ as he rises to his feet in appreciation of the first London performance of Handel’s “Messiah” (actually he was just suffering from a case of numb-bum)

1998 [09] “Titanic” wins a record-tying 11 Oscars at the 70th annual “Academy Awards”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1912 [95] 1st ‘Dixie Cup’ (next day the 1st dentist says, “Take this, rinse and spit …”)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
[Mon] Legal Assistants Day
[Tues] National Joe Day
[Tues] Photography Day
[Tues] Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day
[Wed] Something On a Stick Day
[Thurs] Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
[Thurs] Vietnam Veterans Day
This Week Is … Agriculture Week
This Month Is … International Listening Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

BS ‘TOP SWAPS’:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Nelly Furtado – “Say It Right”
4. Beyoncé – “Irreplaceable”
3. Omarion – “Ice Box”
2. Akon – “Don’t Matter”
1. Mims – “This Is Why I’m Hot”
– Big Champagne Online Media Measurement

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• Pennies aren’t lucky. Lucky is a big, bulging wad of cash.
• Whenever I finally get a grip on reality … the handle falls off.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What 3 things would you do if you were the opposite gender for a day?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 13-and-a-half is the average age at which you get one (or more) of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A phobia.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you’re ever unsure of a download, test it on the work computer.