Monday, March 13, 2023 – Edition: #7427
Hey! New Sheets!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Amid all the Oscars buzz, let us not forget the Razzies were announced on Saturday. Despite his Academy Awards credentials, Tom Hanks won the Razzie for worst supporting actor for his role as ‘Colonel Tom Parker’ in “Elvis”, particularly his accent. Hanks and his “latex face” in the film were named worst screen combo. The biographical drama “Blonde,” starring Ana de Armas as ‘Marilyn Monroe’ “won” Razzies for both worst picture and screenplay. Other winners: Jared Leto and Adria Arjona for their roles in “Morbius”, and The Redeemer Award, for a previous Razzie contender who’s redeemed themselves, went to Colin Farrell for “The Banshees of Inisherin.”
★ Prince Harry and Meghan Markle officially received their invitation to King Charles’ coronation on May 6, but there seems to be a catch. According to the Mirror, Prince Harry and Markle’s kids were not invited, or included in the coronation. The outlet reports that the correspondence inviting the couple didn’t even mention their children, or indicate that they are included in plans for the event. That stands in contrast to Prince William’s children, Prince George and Princess Charlotte, who are expected to be in attendance.
★ Jenny Ortega is living the dream with the title role in Netflix’s smash hit “Wednesday”, but she has revealed she very nearly turned down the role. Ortega – who enjoyed a separate triumph with her comedic turn on “SNL” on the weekend – initially wasn’t interested in the role, saying when she “got the email”, she “passed on it”, because she had already done a lot of TV, and wanted to concentrate on a film career. It was only the lure of director and exec producer Tim Burton that persuaded her reconsider. Ortega said even though he is “such a legend”, he still had to ask her “a few more times” before she eventually relented — going on to star in what has become the second-most watched English-language show in Netflix’s history.
★ Do you like scary movies? It seems as though a lot of people do. “Scream VI” scared “Creed III” off the top perch at the box office over the weekend. The slasher “re-quel” grossed $19.3 million on opening day domestically, more than enough to fend off the weekend’s other new releases, “65” and “Champions.” Industry estimates give Scream VI a franchise record opening weekend of $44.5 million, with the latest Creed movie coming second, with $26.7 million.
★ CBS is set to air a primetime special titled “A Salute to ‘NCIS: Los Angeles’” immediately after the 2-part conclusion of the long-running crime show on May 21. Capping off 14 seasons, the first part of the series finale will air May 14, and the second May 21, followed by the one-hour farewell special at 10pm. Hosted by “Entertainment Tonight’s” Kevin Frazier, A Salute to NCIS: Los Angeles will feature interviews with cast members from the past 14 years, along with behind-the-scenes footage.
★ Millie Bobby Brown is ready to leave Hawkins in the rearview. The 19-year-old said she’s “very ready” to say goodbye to “Stranger Things”, as she prepares to film the 5th and final season of Netflix’s sci-fi series, which premiered in 2016. Although she is “really grateful” for the show, Brown said she is “definitely ready to wrap up” as “a lot of the story that’s been told now”, and she is now focusing on the bigger picture of her career. Brown is set to star in the upcoming films “Damsel” and “The Electric State”.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Owen Wilson
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Bob Odenkirk, Paris Hilton, Collin Morikawa, Asake
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Christina Ricci, Jen Psaki, Robert Glasper featuring Yebba
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Oliver, Nic Collins
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Sam Claflin, Sarah Michelle Gellar
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Amanda Batula, Rachel Lindsay
• “The Daily Show” (COM): Guest host Kal Penn
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Megan Piphus Peace, “Sesame Street’s” Gabrielle
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tara Lipinski, Chloe Kim, Alyssa Thompson, Lindsey Vonn, Nischelle Turner
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Live’s After Oscar Show
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): DJ Cassidy, Chance the Rapper, Angie Martinez
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Eva Longoria, Damson Idris, Dylan Mulvaney
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Jay Shetty, Michael Urie, Dean Lewis
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Zach returns to the US and sets off on a cross-country adventure to meet the families of his 4 remaining women.
• “The Voice” (NBC): The Blind Auditions, Part 3
• “Juno Awards” (CBC): From Edmonton. Includes performances by Aysanabee, Alexisonfire, AP Dhillon, Tenille Townes, and Nickelback, who will be inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame. Hosted by Simu Liu.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Jennifer Lopez — has confirmed that her new album “This Is Me … Now, is coming out this summer, her first studio effort in almost a decade. Speaking at Spotify’s Stream On event last week, she said she’s “super excited.”
• Shakira — has officially broken 14 Guinness World Records thanks to her Bizarrap-produced “Music Sessions Vol. 53”. The dis track has become the most streamed Latin track on Spotify in 24 hours (over 14 million), most viewed Latin track on YouTube in 24 hours, the fastest Latin track to reach 100 million views on YouTube (just under 3 days), and a number of other titles. Shakira is now a 17-time Guinness World Record holder.
• Stevie Nicks and Billy Joel — kicked off their “Two Icons, One Night” tour in LA on Friday, and the show featured 2 surprise duets. The 70,000 fans erupted when Joel emerged onstage to join Nicks for ‘Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around’. Later, during Joel’s set, Nicks returned the favor by guesting on ‘And So It Goes’.
• The Who – will headline a steam festival — so singer Roger Daltrey can drive a train. The model railway buff will live out a “dream come true” when he gets behind the throttle of a full-sized locomotive. In return, the rock icons will play a one-off gig in May at England’s National Trust Transport Festival, which has a mile-long track and a Victorian station. The event is a cancer fundraiser.
• Eric Clapton — has announced 2 all-star tribute concerts for Jeff Beck, who died in January. The shows, May 22-23 at Royal Albert Hall in London, will feature Jeff Beck Group singer Rod Stewart, Billy Gibbons, former Allman Brothers Band member Derek Trucks, Joss Stone, Gary Clark Jr., and Johnny Depp, who collaborated on Beck’s final album, plus others.
• Tim McGraw – Friday, he released the new single ‘Standing Room Only.’ The emotional ballad focuses on what truly matters in life, and some are calling it a companion piece to his trademark hits ‘Live Like You Were Dying’ and ‘Where the Green Grass Grows’. The song is the title track from McGraw’s upcoming 17th studio album, out later this year. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ykfzvnzn
• Carrie Underwood – posted a pair of cute photos on her Instagram Story of letters her sons wrote to her on her milestone 40th birthday. Both composed lists titled “Things I love about mommy,” with 4-year-old Jake writing: “When she kisses me,” “How much she loves me,” “She’s beautiful,” “Her snuggles” and “When she dresses up.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4d2dmv84
• Shania Twain – says she has never met Brad Pitt, at whom she famously poked light-hearted fun in her 1998 hit ‘That Don’t Impress Me Much’. In the YouTube show “Chicken Shop Date”, she said: “I wrote about Brad Pitt. I never met Brad Pitt”, and went on to joke: “I think he’s avoiding me, man, honestly.”
SHOOTING THE BULL
OSCAR’S NO SLOUCH:
There’s no bigger accolade in Hollywood that an Academy Award…but there’s no better prize than the “goodie bag” handed out to all those nominated in acting and directing categories. The LA-based marketing company Distinctive Assets once again delivered its infamous “Everybody Wins” gift bags last night, this time containing swag worth about $123,000. It included more than 60 gifts ranging from a $16 package of chocolate-covered pretzels to a $40,000 visit to a luxury Canadian estate. Here are some of the highlights . . .
• A $40,000, 3-night stay at the luxury property The Lifestyle near Ottawa, Canada. LINK: https://thelifestyle.ca/
• A $9,000, 3-night stay at the Faro Punta Imperatore Lighthouse in Ischia, Italy for the nominee and up to 7 friends.
• A one square meter plot of land in Australia through the Pieces of Australia conservation project, valued at $50.
• A $12,000 arm liposuction procedure, promising to “give women an instant lean and toned look” with “smooth shapes and perfectly defined contours.”
• Shinery Radiance Wash, a hand soap featured on the Oprah’s Favorite Things list that cleans your jewelry while you wash your hands.
• A private hair restoration consultation with a leading hair transplant surgeon, valued at $7,000.
• Up to $10,000 worth of procedures including chemical peels, laser skin resurfacing and Botox.
Oh, and by the way, the IRS views the value of the gift bags as taxable income.
(But remember, those who got it, had to sit through the Oscars…so they earned it!)
(All that awesome stuff, and I’m jonesing for chocolate-covered pretzels now…)
SIGH-N ME UP:
It’s Monday. The clocks changed over the weekend and you probably lost an hour’s sleep. Chances are, you’ve got more than a few things to sigh about. Well, go ahead, because sighing is good for you, according to a study. Dr. David Spiegel, a professor of psychiatry and director of the Center on Stress and Health at Stanford University School of Medicine, says despite the negative associations with the act of a long, slow exhale of breath, sometimes accompanied with a bit of a whimper, his research shows that instead of seeing sighs as sadness or exasperation, we should recognize them for what they accomplish — stress relief. And if you learn to do it systematically, you can definitely learn to calm yourself when needed. His team found that “cyclic sighing”, when a person inhales through the nose until the lungs are half full, then pauses, before filled the lungs completely with another breath, and then slowly exhaling, is a rapid way to calm yourself, and if you do it about 3 times, Spiegel says, you’ll see immediate relief from anxious feelings and stress.
(That tends to happen — when you pass out!)
(Well, I’m gonna say that the gang I work with is a pretty relaxed bunch, because you should hear all the sighing that happens every time I walk into a room!)
NEW GOOD NEWS:
➢ The European country of Latvia began seizing cars from heavily drunk drivers this year. But when those cars began overfilling compound yards, authorities had to decide what to do with them. 200 cars have been seized so far this year, and now those vehicles are headed for Ukraine. Twitter Convoy, a volunteer group, has been tasked with delivering the cars to the war-torn country, to be used by the Ukrainian military and hospitals.
➢ Janie’s Life-Changing Baked Goods is known for its pie crust cookies — and giving employees a second chance. Owner Janie Deegan discovered a love of baking when she was 25 and recovering from addiction. She found baking to be “a beautiful, meditative, very controlled artistic outlet.” When she decided to open a bakery in Manhattan, Deegan wanted to give others an opportunity to start over as well. She has an open-door hiring policy, meaning if someone is “ready, willing, able, and enthusiastic about coming to work”, she isn’t “going to look at your past situations or gaps on your resume or if you’re homeless or been in prison. The person you show up to the interview as is the person we’re looking for.” That’s been her recipe for success — she now has 2 bakeries and 15 employees.
TIPS FOR STAYING “YOUNG”:
Three-quarters of people aged 70 older agree that the ‘old age stereotypes’ no longer apply to today’s seniors. In a poll, 72% of them said they feel “years younger” than their actual age, and here are their top tips for staying young (or at least feeling that way…):
✓ A varied diet
✓ Laughing daily
✓ Socializing with friends
✓ An active sex life
✓ Hanging out with people younger than they are
✓ Keeping up with new music
…and 1 in 20 said they still jump up on grocery carts to glide around, just to prove they can still do it.
(I tried the “active sex life” thing – but my wife kept texting me to come home!)
(If the secret to staying young is getting all excited about a new song from DJ MC Stereo Mix Tables or one of those dudes, sorry – not worth it!)
DID YOU KNOW?
Academy Award winner Sandra Bullock tops the list of actors in Oscar-worthy movies in terms of her worth per second to these films. According to a study commissioned by Onlinecasinos.co.uk, Bullock is worth nearly $95,000 for every second she’s on the screen in recent Oscar-nominated films. Sir Ian McKellen came in second, followed, in order, by Kate Winslet, Whoopi Goldberg and Dustin Hoffman. At the opposite end of the scale, Robert De Niro and Tom Cruise rank 48th and 49th, with just over $26,000 of box office worth per second.
BS CHRONOMETER 03.13.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Workplace Napping Day”, observed since 1999 on the Monday after we lose an hour of sleep to Daylight Saving Time in North America. Setting the clock ahead an hour can mess with our brains, causing fatigue and general air-headedness. A study of traffic accidents on the day following the ‘Spring Forward’ found an 8% increase.
• “Fill Our Staplers Day”, because every little insignificant function we perform in day-to-day life needs its own day, right? (I will, right after my nap!)
• “Open an Umbrella Indoors Day”, when celebrants are encouraged to challenge the old superstition and note whether any bad luck befalls them. The superstition can be traced to the 11th century BC.
• “Commonwealth Day”, observed on the 2nd Monday in March, to honor the loose association of 52 countries in the British Commonwealth (the one-time British Empire). It now entails some 2.6 billion people or about 30% of the world’s population.
• “Donald Duck Day”, marking the cartoon character’s debut on this day in 1934 as a bit player in the Walt Disney cartoon “The Little Wise Hen”. Donald Duck is the most published comic book character in the world outside of the superhero genre. (For some reason, there is also A Donald Duck Day in June.)
• “Earmuffs Day”, celebrating the first ‘Earmuffs’ patent by Chester Greenwood of Farmington, Maine on this day in 1877.
• “Ken Day”, celebrating the Ken doll, whose full name is Kenneth Carson. He was named after Ken Handler, the son of Ruth and Elliot Handler. They were 2 of the founders of Mattel, and it was Ruth who invented the Barbie Doll.
• “Good Samaritan Day”, on this date in 1964, Queens NY bar manager Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death while 38 people looked the other way, not wanting to get involved. Since then, every US state and many other countries have enacted Good Samaritan laws in some form or another.
• “K-9 Veterans Day”, honoring all dogs who have served in the military. The US Army launched its ‘K-9 Corps’ 81 years ago today (1942).
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Ask a Question Day
[Tues] Legal Assistance Day
[Wed] Ides of March
[Thurs] Everything You Do is Right Day
This Week is…Bubble Gum Week
This Month is…Employee Spirit Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950  William H Macy, Miami FL, movie actor (“Fargo”, “Boogie Nights”)/TV actor (“Shameless” 2011-21)/married to Felicity Huffman since 1997. COMING UP… “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes”, 2024
1956  Dana Delaney, NYC, TV actress (“Hand of God” 2014-17, “Desperate Housewives” 2007-12, “China Beach” 1988-91, “Tulsa King” since 2022)
1960  Adam Clayton, Chinnor England, rock bassist (U2-‘With or Without You’, ‘Beautiful Day’)
1972  Common (Lonnie Lynn Jr), Chicago IL, rapper (Oscar-‘Glory’, ‘One-Nine-Nine-Nine’)/TV actor (“Hell on Wheels” 2011-14)/movie actor (“John Wick: Chapter 2”, “American Gangster”) COMING UP… “Fool’s Paradise”, 2023
1973  David Draiman, Brooklyn NY, rock singer (Disturbed-‘Down With the Sickness’, ‘The Sound of Silence’)
1976  Danny Masterson, Albertson NY, TV actor (“The Ranch” 2016-2018, “That 70’s Show” 1998-2006)/(***scheduled next month for retrial on rape charges***)
1985  Emile Hirsch, Topanga CA, movie actor (“Milk”, “Into the Wild”) COMING UP… “The Gemini Lounge”
1998  Jack Harlow, Louisville KY, rapper, (‘Whats Poppin’, ‘First Class’)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006  Isaac Hayes (‘Chef’) quits the TV series “South Park” after an episode mocks his religion, Scientology
2022  William Hurt, Oscar-winning star of “Kiss of the Spider Woman”, “The Big Chill” and “Broadcast News”, dies of prostate cancer at age 71
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006  Black Sabbath, Blondie, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Miles Davis and The Sex Pistols are inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. The Pistols refuse to attend the ceremony and turn down enshrinement (…a totally punk-rock thing to do).
2007  Amy Winehouse’s second album, “Back to Black”, is released (goes on to win 5 Grammy Awards)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1987  Bryan Adams’ ‘Heat of the Night’ becomes the first-ever “cassette single” (Also the last?)
2013  Pope Francis is elected in the papal conclave to succeed Pope Benedict XVI
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2012  25-year-old Dallas Seavey becomes the youngest-ever winner of the Iditarod sled dog race in Alaska (also wins in 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2021)
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Six-pack abs indicate nothing about your strength, your flexibility, your stamina, your speed, or your overall level of health.
✓ A ‘second’ is called a second because it is the second division of the hour by 60, the first division being a minute.
✓ Bill Gates’s house was designed using a Mac Computer.
✓ Temperature affects your attitude toward others. For example, if you hold a warm coffee as opposed to a cold drink, you are likely to be more selfless towards others.
✓ 85% of people have experienced a dream so real that they were not sure if it happened in real life or not.
✓ Not once in the “Humpty Dumpty” nursery rhyme does it say that he’s an egg.
Best of BS . . .
(March is “Caffeine Awareness Month”. With that in mind, here are…)
BS SIGNS YOU’RE DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE:
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
• You jam a fork into the waiter’s hand when he tries to refill your mug with decaf.
• When a Starbucks commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen.
• You grind your own coffee beans … in your mouth.
• Neighbors call 9-1-1 to complain about the noise of your chattering teeth.
• You’re passing everybody on the freeway when suddenly you realize – you’re not in a car.
• You finish your 60-minute presentation before everyone is seated.
• Your doc needs a calculator to take your pulse.
• You answer the door before people knock.
-First published in BS 1999
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Daylight Saving Time happened over the weekend. (Since it always starts and ends on a Sunday . . . I never have any idea when not to go to church!)
➠ Sunday, we lost an hour of our lives. (Five or six, if you sat through the Oscars!)
➠ Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels are in talks make “Dumb & Dumber: 3″. (Back when the first one came out, nobody believed idiots like that could actually exist. Then came “Jersey Shore”, “Honey Boo Boo”, “Duck Dynasty”, “Tiger King,”….)
➠ A cat from Virginia was reunited with her owner after she went missing for 9 years. (The owners celebrated the reunion by giving the cat a warm hug and a huge bowl of food . . . while the cat celebrated by peeing in a shoe and ignoring everyone.)
➠ 50% of women say they would dump a guy if he hadn’t proposed after 5 years of dating. (So if you’re on year 5, fellas, hold tight. You’re almost home free!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Wiener dog: https://tinyurl.com/5djvnvu7
BS RANDOM JOKES:
• I’ve been working 25/7 to come up with a joke about daylight saving time…
• I’ve always been the type of person who stops looking for work once I find a job. Take that any way you like…
BS U PICK TRIVIA:
• What is the most-visited tourist attraction in the world?
a) Las Vegas strip [CORRECT]
b) Niagara Falls
c) The Great Wall of China
d) The World’s Largest Ball of Twine, in Cawker City, Kansas
• What sea creature has 3 hearts?
c) Octopus [CORRECT]
d) The 3-hearted small mouth bass
• Who were the first couple to be shown in bed together on prime-time TV?
a) Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
b) Fred and Wilma Flintstone [CORRECT]
c) Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore
d) Gilligan and the Skipper
BS PHONE STARTER:
Confession time – What would you like to get off your chest today?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTIONS:
• Question: A survey found that 12% of adults do THIS when Daylight Saving Time starts. What is it?
Answer: Adjust their clocks the wrong way
• Question: If you are average, you will have 155 of these in your lifetime. What are they?
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
How wonderful it is that no one needs to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.