March 30 2023

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Thursday, March 30, 2023 – Edition: #7449

Can You Believe This Sheet?

The Bull Sheet staff will be on vacation and will not be publishing Monday April 3 through Tuesday April 11. Of course, all subscribers will receive credit for non-service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Wednesday April 12.

★ Jeremy Renner is ready to speak on the horrific snowplow accident that nearly took his life in January, sitting down for an interview with Diane Sawyer that will air on April 6. In a trailer, Renner tells Sawyer that he was “awake through every moment.” During their chat, Sawyer also recounts the extent of the “Hawkeye” actor’s injuries, including: “Eight ribs broken in 14 places, right knee, right ankle broken, left leg broken, left ankle broken, right clavicle…right shoulder broken, face, eye socket, jaw broken. Lung collapsed, pierced from rib bone.” Renner was rescuing his nephew from the path of a snowplow when he got pinned and run over. He also says he’d “do it again” if it meant saving a family member.
-TheWrap, TMZ
★ Ben Affleck is clearing the air on what he says is a widely held misconception — that he’s miserable most of the time — even though he’s actually a pretty happy guy. While on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Tuesday to promote his new movie “Air,” he and Kimmel chatted about a number of things, including his totally-bored-looking expression at this year’s Grammys, when he was photographed looking very unamused as his wife Jennifer Lopez danced alongside him. Affleck told Kimmel that he has “a very unhappy-looking resting face”, saying: “That’s how God made me, you don’t have to punish me for it!”
★ Curb your expectations about “Curb Your Enthusiasm” continuing: It looks like the upcoming 12th season could be its last. In a tweet that has since been deleted, producer Jon Hayman suggested the fun will soon come to an end on the Larry David comedy. Hayman wrote: “Maybe you love the show. Maybe you hate the show. Maybe you don’t give a (heck). In any event, shooting the last scene of the last episode of the final season.” No comment so far from HBO.
★ Jason Alexander is done with Twitter. Almost. The “Seinfeld” star has revealed he’ll quit the social media platform as soon as the blue check mark that verifies his identity is removed. Owner Elon Musk has said the check marks, which were free, will disappear from previously verified accounts on Saturday, but people can buy them back for up to $11 a month. But Alexander isn’t biting. He wrote: “There are bigger issues in the world than the blue verified check next to my name on this account. But without it, anyone can allege to be me. So, if I lose that check, know I will leave this platform,”
★ “Yellowstone” star Kevin Costner reportedly caught COVID-19 last year, which allegedly led to production delays for the hit Paramount series. The first half of the show’s 5th season ended in January, but more delays this year mean that the second half might end up airing when a potential 6th season should have. Costner reportedly contracted COVID after his promotional trip to the Calgary Stampede in July. Instead of giving producers more of his time, Costner said his shooting window elapsed, and left, according to a report. This forced the cast and crew to reassemble at a later date to film his scenes, adding to the show’s costs and angering Costner’s co-stars.
★ Keanu Reeves reprised his role of ‘John Wick’ in “John Wick: Chapter 4”, but don’t expect him to say a lot. A report in The Wall Street Journal counted all the words Wick uttered throughout the film and he seemingly didn’t have a lot to say, but there was a whole lot to see. The 4th installment of the John Wick saga clocks in at 169 minutes and Reeves says only 380 words in the entire movie. Almost a third of Wick’s dialogue consists of just one word like: “Yeah.” WSJ also says that about 10% of his words are featured in the movie’s trailer, which makes the hero seem almost chatty; “Wick says more in that 2.5-minute clip than he does in the first 25 minutes of the movie itself.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Viola Davis, Julius Tennon, Brett Goldstein, Daniel Caesar
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Edward Norton, Ego Nwodim, Parker McCollum
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Brooke Shields, Clint Smith, Weyes Blood
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Taron Egerton, Maude Apatow, Fred Armisen
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick, Dustin Nickerson
•  “The Daily Show” (COM): Rep. Ritchie Torres, guest host John Leguizamo
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kyra Sedgwick
• “The Talk” (CBS): Maggie Grout, guest co-hosts Joanna Garcia Swisher & Morris Chestnut
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kyra Sedgwick, Harry Shum Jr., guest co-host Katie Lowes
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Michelle Rodriguez, Sophia Lillis, John Edward, Ike Barinholtz, Myke Towers
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Lionel Richie, Sarah Sherman
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Julie Bowen, Method Man, Larenz Tate
• “Major League Baseball (Check local listings): 2023 MLB opening day, with all 30 teams in action.
• “Law & Order” (NBC): When a public defender is murdered, Cosgrove and Shaw are surprised to find Price at the crime scene. Followed by “SVU” and “Organized Crime”.
• “CMT Defining” (CMT): Series premiere. Carly Pearce opens up about the moments that defined her music and laid the groundwork for where she goes from here.

• Lil Nas X – appeared on set playing a waiter in “The Bold and the Beautiful”, thanks to a hook-up from James Corden. During his appearance on “Carpool Karaoke”, Nas was navigated toward the set of the TV show for the off-the-cuff acting gig, which, we’re told, has “no lines and too many breadsticks”. LINK:
• Billie Eilish – The 21-year-old – with a net worth of about $53 million — finally has her own place. She has moved into a $2.3 million home in LA, previously owned by Leona Lewis. Eilish told Conan O’Brien on his podcast: “I was having an I-need-to-be-an-adult moment. Like, ‘I need to have space and my own this and my own that’. So, what does she do with her free time? “I go and hang out with my parents.”
• Elvis Costello – is hitting the road this summer with Nick Lowe and Los Straitjackets. The “We’re All Going On A Summer Holiday” tour of North America begins June 7 in Vancouver. LINK:
• Smashing Pumpkins – dropped the new song ‘Spellbinding’ and announced “The World Is A Vampire Tour”, traversing North America this summer with Interpol, Stone Temple Pilots and Rival Sons. The new song is from the upcoming 3rd and final act of the band’s rock opera “ATUM”, which will be released in full on May 5. LINK:
• Metallica – The 400-page book “Messengers: The Guitars Of James Hetfield” will be released Oct. 17. Meanwhile, Kirk Hammett has partnered with Gibson to make available recreations of “Greeny”, his iconic 1959 Les Paul Standard Burst Guitar. The Kirk Hammett “Greeny” can be ordered at .
• 2023 CMT Music Awards — Rockers Alanis Morissette and Gwen Stefani, along with Shania Twain have all been added to the performers list at the April 2 ceremony. Stefani will perform with Carly Pearce, while Morissette will be joined by Ingrid Andress, Lainey Wilson, Madeline Edwards and Morgan Wade. LINK:
• Old Dominion – have been forced to reschedule at least 3 Florida shows after frontman Matthew Ramsey was involved in an ATV accident. He tweeted that the incident left his pelvis “fractured in at least 3 places.” The good news? “It’s gonna heal just fine. The bad news is I’m gonna have to stay home and recover for a little while.” LINK:
• Elle King — stopped by Chouteau High School in Oklahoma on Friday to surprise 2 special people: Cathy Welker-Graham, one of King’s biggest fans and the school’s teacher of the year, and Emma Hughes, a senior who wrote to Elle about her remarkable teacher. During her visit, King and her guitarist did a performance of her song ‘America’s Sweetheart’ – and she posted video. LINK:


Well, it’s a good thing that baseball season starts today. Literally. Why? New research suggests that if you’re feeling alone or dissatisfied, attending live sports events may help you improve your level of well-being and reduce that feeling of loneliness. Researchers from Britain’s Anglia Ruskin University’s School of Psychology and Sport Science analyzed data from 7,200 adults, and found that those who had seen any type of sports event live within the past year were more likely to say they were satisfied and had a greater sense of “life being worthwhile.” Researchers observed the same impact with loneliness. They say the benefits received from attending a sport in person is comparable to that of being employed. And physical participation in sport also improves well-being and reduces loneliness.
(Hey! Let’s not get crazy here!)
(I don’t see how they can compare the benefits of going to watch a sports match with holding down a job. For one of them, I get paid. For the other, it costs me – about 4 weeks’ pay!)

What’s the best treat to give your dog? Definitely not the first thing that came to your mind, which might have been a chunk of meat, a Scooby-snack, or even a mitt full of kibble. Experts now believe that pooches don’t really care about what treat they are getting, because they barely taste their food before wolfing it down. And for that reason, some are saying we should make an effort to move away from calorie-laden, fatty treats and instead give . . . vegetable snacks, because your mutt won’t notice the difference. With that in mind, Georgia Woods-Lee, a canine nutrition expert at the University of Liverpool, says the best treat to give your dog isn’t meat or cheese but courgette. The what-now? Courgette. It’s a cucumber-like vegetable that’s low in calories, full of water, dogs like it, and it poses no health issues. After all, she says: “The act of giving and receiving the treat is far more important than what the treat actually is”. )***BONUS BS WEB GOODIE (sound up…WAAAY up: )
(Maybe so, but if I tried to slip my mutt a vegetable, he’d laugh me out of the room, and check the calendar to see if it’s April 1st yet…)
(If you don’t think your dog would accept a veggie treat, try this: Give it to your other dog first!)

Some geniuses say they have developed a type of smart sports leggings that can tell you when it’s time to take a break from working out. Researchers at ETH Zurich came up with an electronic yarn capable of precisely measuring how a person’s body moves. The yarn is integrated directly into sportswear or work clothing, and a textile sensor is able to predict the wearer’s exhaustion level during physical exertion. From there, it can alert a smartphone app to tell you it’s time for a rest. The developers say the innovation addresses the issue of people becoming more prone to injury due to exhaustion when exercising or performing physical tasks.
(Thought of, but not suggested: How about a pair of leggings that tell you when it’s time to START exercising!)
(Considering the shape I’m, I’d probably get a “false positive” the second I put them on!)

A Reddit user recently asked: “What everyday item is designed poorly, but we all sort of accept it?” Here are some of the very useful answers about useless things . . .
✗ “Those ‘convenient’ zip closures they started putting on everything a few years back. 80% of the time, when you rip them open at the little cut-outs, it doesn’t even open the bag, so you need scissors…and half the time they don’t seal properly.”
✗ “Soap pumps…The tube always goes right to the middle where there’s a divot in the plastic. You aren’t out of soap, but the soap is just around that divot where the pipe can’t reach it.”
✗ “I own the classic Pyrex glass measuring cup…It has a spout, yet still spills all over the place when you pour from it. Despite this, it’s a very common item.” (Hear, hear!!)
✗ “Kraft Dinner boxes with the push-to-open tab. I have never seen it work as it’s supposed to.” (At this point, that’s just an adorable eccentricity!)
✗ “The plastic film over the top of ready-to-eat meals. It always, ALWAYS splits and you can never get all of it off.”
✗ “Air blow hand dryers in public toilets. As far as I can see they do next to nothing.” (Wait, it gets better…)
✗ “Touchless sinks in public don’t stay on long enough to rinse soap off hands.” (Right? Sometimes they make me feel like I don’t even exist!)
✗ “The refrigerator’s ice dispenser shoots pieces of ice onto the floor, no matter how carefully you hold the glass against the unit.” (But the dog loves it…)
✗”Potato chip bags…Once they’re open, you have to learn how to close Pandora’s box to keep them safe and secure. Why has the chip industry not converted to simple resealable chip bags?
(What “useless things” would you like to add to the list – no names, please!)

Thanks to the wonders of virtual reality, you can now experience what it’s like to…die. An Australian artist is bringing (ahem) death to life via a participatory VR simulator. Shaun Gladwell’s show, “Passing Electrical Storms,” at Melbourne’s National Gallery of Victoria, conjures the process of dying through “medical technologies”. The interactive work “guides participants through a simulated de-escalation of life, from cardiac arrest to brain death,” says the exhibit’s page on the gallery website. Gladwell described the experience as “moving away from yourself and then floating off into the giant universe”. (Sounds like the last thing I do on a Saturday night!)


• “Doctors Day”, an observance dating back to 1933, commemorating the first use of anesthetic during surgery by Dr Crawford Long in 1842. He got the idea from observing party-goers high on nitrous oxide and sulfuric ether. (He asked if they would mind if he stole the idea, and they said, “Go ahead, knock yourself out!”)
• “Pencil Day”, observed on the anniversary of the ‘Pencil with Attached Eraser’ being patented 164 years ago (1858) by Hyman Lipman. (Thereby giving us all something to chew on…)
• “Take a Walk in the Park Day”, which not only helps you stay healthy and manage weight, it reduces stress (especially if it’s your mother-in-law who’s doing the walking…)
• “World Bipolar Day”, observed on the birth date of artist Vincent Van Gogh, who was posthumously diagnosed as probably having bipolar disorder.
• “National Virtual Vacation Day”, Virtual vacations do not require money, packing, or transcontinental flights. All you need is your imagination and free VR apps or a VR headset. (Which I can’t afford, either!)
• “Grass is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day”, You’ve heard the phrase, “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” Well, that might not always be the case. Today is for taking stock in things you DO have, whether it be a roof over your head, a family, a job, or something else you’re grateful for.

[Fri] Dance Marathon Day
[Fri] Crayon Day
[Sat] April Fools’ Day
[Sun] Palm Sunday
This Week is…Sleep Awareness Week
This Month is…Poison Prevention Awareness Month

1937 [86] Warren Beatty, Richmond VA, movie actor (“Bonnie & Clyde”, “Dick Tracy”)/director (“Heaven Can Wait”, “Reds”)/married to Annette Bening since 1992, brother of Shirley MacLaine

1945 [78] Eric Clapton, Surrey England, classic rock singer/guitarist (‘Tears in Heaven’, Derek & the Dominos-‘Layla’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame with The Yardbirds (1992), Cream (1993), solo (2000)

1962 [61] MC Hammer (Stanley Burrell), Oakland CA, rapper (‘U Can’t Touch This’, ‘2 Legit 2 Quit’)

1964 [59] Tracy Chapman, Cleveland OH, pop/folk singer (‘Fast Car’, ‘Give Me One Reason’)

1964 [59] Ian Ziering, Newark NJ, TV actor (“Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-2000)/movie actor (“Sharknado” movies)

1965 [58] Piers Morgan, Newick England, TV host (“Good Morning Britain” 2015-21, “America’s Got Talent” 2006-15, “Piers Morgan Uncensored” since 2022)

1968 [55] Céline Dion, Charlemagne QC, pop singer (‘My Heart Will Go On’)/once the best-selling female artist of all-time (200 million+ albums worldwide)/Canadian Walk of Fame, 2003

1971 [52] Mark Consuelos, Zaragoza Spain, TV actor (“Riverdale” 2017-21, “All My Children” 1995-2010)/married to Kelly Ripa since 1996. COMING UP…new co-host of “Live” alongside wife Kelly Ripa

1979 [44] (Geethali) Norah Jones (Shankar), Brooklyn NY, pop/jazz singer-pianist (‘Don’t Know Why’)/9 Grammy Awards/daughter of late Indian sitar master Ravi Shankar

1984 [39] Justin Moore, Poyen AR, country singer (‘You Look Like I Need a Drink’, ‘If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away’)

1990 [33] Thomas Rhett (Akins), Valdosta GA, country singer (‘What’s Your Country Song’, ‘Die a Happy Man’)/son of country singer Rhett Akins

2014 [09] “Frozen” surpasses “Toy Story 3” to become the highest-earning animated movie in history (ends up with $1.29 billion worldwide, since surpassed by “Frozen 2” and “The Lion King” [2019])

2022 [01] Bruce Willis announces he’s stepping away from acting after a diagnosis of aphasia, an inability to comprehend or formulate language because of damage to specific brain regions

2001 [22] The Detroit Free Press breaks the news that Jack and Meg White of The White Stripes are not siblings as they claim, but former husband and wife

2002 [21] Ashanti dominates the Top 10, with her Ja Rule collaboration ‘Always on Time’ at #4, her Fat Joe duet ‘What’s Luv?’ at #5, and her solo track ‘Foolish’ at #9. The #1 song, ‘Ain’t It Funny’ by Jennifer Lopez, also contains some lyrics written by Ashanti

2020 [03] Bill Withers (‘Ain’t No Sunshine’, ‘Lean on Me’) dies of heart complications at 81

1867 [156] In what is known as the “Alaska Purchase”, the US agrees to buy Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million, roughly 2 cents an acre


✓ People lose over a pound (0.5kg) of weight during sleep through exhaling.
✓ Prior to the 17th century, most carrots were purple.
✓ On Mars, sunsets are blue.
✓ The original fire hydrant patent (from the 1880s) was lost in a fire.
✓ Because gelatin is made from animal skin and bones, gummy worms technically have more bones in them than actual worms (which don’t have any).
✓ A city in Belgium, tried to use 37 cats to deliver mail in the 1870s. THAT didn’t work…
-BathroomReadersInstitute, BuzzFeed

Best of BS . . .
• Players routinely leave the game early to beat traffic.
• Mascot doubles as starting outfielder.
• Your team name contains the words ‘Washington’ and ‘Nationals’.
• Spirited locker room debates about how many strikes to an out.
• Your cleanup hitter is 5-months pregnant.
• Your 9 starters who made the ‘Performance Enhancing Drug All-Star Team’ have all been suspended.
• Team owner has changed team name to ‘Losers’.
-Adapted from BleacherReport, first published in BS in 2013

➠ RIP to the Camaro. GM has announced it they will stop making the classic American muscle car. (So, tough news for drug dealers and junior high Phys Ed teachers everywhere…)
➠ 3 in 10 adults are almost constantly on the internet, according to a survey. (The other 7? They forgot their password!)
➠ MC Hammer is 61 today. (These days, when he sings ‘U Can’t Touch This’, he’s referring to his lawn…)
➠ Fact: PayPal once accidentally credited a man with $92 quadrillion dollars. (It’s the only time a person has had more PayPal money than PayPal notifications…)
➠ Researchers are suggesting that having sex is actually really good for your health. (In other words, I could be dead by morning…)

But it’s getting better:

A lot of people don’t know this, but I’m actually quite famous…

Politics and religion aside, what’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about?

Question:  44% of men say THIS is the first thing they notice when meeting a woman. What is it?
Answer:  Their hair

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.


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