March 17, 2017

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Friday, March 17, 2017 – Edition: #5934

Happy St Paddy’s Day for Sheet’s Sake!

★ Wu-Tang Clan MC Method Man is adding TV co-host to his résumé by fronting a new rap battle series called “Drop the Mic” alongside model Hailey Baldwin. The series is co-created by Ben Winston and “Late Late Show” host James Corden. Each episode pits 4 celebrities against one another competing to spit the best rhymes; the winner is decided with help from the audience. The show begins airing on TBS May 2nd.
★ A character based on Russian leader Vladimir Putin has been scrubbed from the script of filmmaker Luc Besson’s new nuclear submarine movie. The film “Kursk” was set to feature an actor resembling the Russian president but the character is no longer part of the script about a real-life nuclear sub accident in 2000, the year Putin came to power. It would have marked the first depiction of Putin in a studio film. Besson has decided not to use the character, because he doesn’t want the film to become political. (And apparently wants to continue living.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ 76-year-old actor Patrick Stewart (“Logan”) admits to using medical marijuana on a daily basis. 2 years ago in Los Angeles he was given legal permission to purchase an ointment, spray, and edible marijuana medicine in order to combat the symptoms of arthritis in both hands. He says it has significantly reduced the stiffness and pain. He can now make fists, which wasn’t the case before he began the treatment. (He also now really ‘gets’ the song “Freebird”.)
– “Daily Mail”
★ And here are this week’s celeb hacks …
1. Emma Watson (“Beauty & The Beast”) is taking legal action against hackers who’ve stolen personal photographs of her. A rep assures fans none of the pics are nudes, despite reports to the contrary.
2. Mischa Barton has obtained a restraining order against an ex-boyfriend amid suspicions he’s responsible for attempting to leak a sex tape featuring the former “OC” actress. The explicit video has already been offered up to various adult film companies for release.
3. Pregnant actress Amanda Seyfried (“Mamma Mia!”) has unleashed lawyers on a website featuring intimate shots of her. Photos of her with an ex-boyfriend have appeared on and her legal team is demanding they be taken down immediately.
– /

• “Anne” (CBC) – Sunday the debut of a new, darker take on Lucy Maud Montgomery’s well-known “Anne of Green Gables” story. Young ‘Anne Shirley’ is played by Amybeth McNulty.
• “Empire Awards” – Sunday the 22nd annual UK awards ceremony initiated by entertainment magazine “Empire”, honoring screen achievements of the past year. The 2017 winners are announced at London’s Roundhouse. “Rogue One” leads film nominations with 9.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Tonight Steve Aoki & Louis Tomlinson (“Just Hold On”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Tonight Alison Krauss (“Windy City”). Rerun.
• “Letterkenny: Holiday Special” (CraveTV) – Today, St Patricks Day, is as good an excuse as any for ‘Wayne’ (Jared Keeso) and his cohorts to have a few pints and party.
• “Marvel’s Iron Fist” (Netflix) – Today the series debut release. A missing heir to billions returns to NYC to reconnect with his family legacy, but nobody believes he’s who he says so he’s forced to summon the power of the fiery ‘Iron Fist’.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Pitbull (“Climate Change”, out today); Run the Jewels (“Run the Jewels 3”).

• Ed Sheeran – Tonight he plays a 2nd concert in Turin, Italy as his massive world tour rolls out across Europe, the UK & Ireland, Central & South America, and finally in North America, ending October 6th in Nashville TN.
• Jon Pardi – “Dirt on My Boots” tops the latest ‘Billboard Country Airplay’ chart after 25 weeks of release. It’s his 2nd #1 single, his first being “Head Over Boots” in 2015. Seems he has a thing about footwear.
• Pitbull – His new album “Climate Change” is released today. It features collaborations with Jennifer Lopez, Enrique Iglesias, Prince Royce, Austin Mahone, Robin Thicke, and Flo Rida.
• Rihanna – She’s landed yet another movie, starring opposite Adam Driver (“Girls”) in the musical drama “Annette”. Shooting begins this Spring in a variety of locations, including Los Angeles.
• The Who – Pete Townshend has written 2 new tracks for the upcoming touring version of The Who’s rock opera “Tommy”. The production featuring disabled and able-bodied performers begins a UK tour on March 30th and Townshend says he can’t wait to see it.

• “Beauty & The Beast” ( PG Fantasy Musical ): Emma Watson & Dan Stevens star in a new live-action adaptation of the classic 1991 Disney animated fairytale about a monstrous-looking prince and a young woman who fall in love. Co-stars Luke Evans, Josh Gad. The soundtrack includes a few new songs; Ariana Grande & John Legend sing the iconic theme song.
• “T2 Trainspotting” ( R-Rated Drama ): After 20 years abroad, ‘Mark Renton’ (Ewan McGregor) returns to Scotland and reunites with his old friends ‘Spud’, ‘Sick Boy’, and ‘Begbie’ (Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle). This is director Danny Boyle’s 1st-ever sequel film, a follow-up to 1996’s well-received “Trainspotting”.
• Opening in limited release: “The Belko Experiment” (Horror Thriller); “Betting on Zero” (Documentary); and “They Call Me Jeeg” (Action Comedy).

In a rare bit of positive news from the animal conservation world, scientists say they have vastly low-balled the penguin population on Antarctica. The off-base estimate pertains to Adelie penguins (the adorable “Happy Feet” variety) and it turns out there are 3.6 million more of them than previously thought. A team of Australian, Japanese, and French scientists now think there are 5.9 million of these birds occupying a 3,100-mile stretch of east Antarctica. From that projection, they’ve pegged the total Adelie penguin population on the continent at 14-to-16 million. The Adelies, named after the wife of the French explorer who discovered them in 1840, are only found in Antarctica. (The bad news … Earth being overwhelmed by Adelie penguins!)

The latest hit in the crowdfunding world … Lego-compatible tape. ‘Nimuno Loops’ adhesive tape is covered in Lego-like bumps, and according to its Indiegogo campaign it works with not only Lego blocks but Mega Bloks, Kreo, and other building systems. It comes in rolls, so it can be cut to size; it’s flexible, so it can be used to build around corners; and because the tape is soft, you can stick it to your floor and walk all over it (unlike Legos). Its creators set $8,000 as their crowdfunding goal but the project has already raised over $600,000 and the campaign doesn’t end for another month. 11 bucks gets you 2 rolls of tape, which come in green, blue, red, and grey. ‘Nimuno Loops’ are being called so simple that it’s surprising Lego didn’t think of it long ago. (Its lawyers are no doubt looking into a way of claiming Lego did.)

Wartime favorite (as in WW2) Dame Vera Lynn is making music history by becoming the oldest music artist to enter the UK music charts … at the age of 100. The “White Cliffs of Dover” singer is marking her milestone birthday (officially on Monday) by releasing the new album “Vera Lynn 100” today. That makes her the only centenarian to release an album.

• Sheep horns grow better in the Winter months because it’s dark.
• Sociable woodpeckers have smaller brains.
• Termites bang their heads to mimic ant footsteps.
– “New Scientist”


1951 [66] Kurt Russell, Springfield MA, movie actor (“Fast 8”, “Guardians Of the Galaxy 2”)/actress Goldie Hawn’s partner since 1983

1955 [62] Gary Sinise, Blue Island IL, TV actor (“Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders” 2016, “CSI: NY” 2004-13)/movie actor (“Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, “Forrest Gump”)

1964 [53] Rob Lowe, Charlottesville VA, TV actor (“The Grinder” 2015-16, “Parks & Recreation” 2010-15)/movie actor (“The Interview”, “Austin Powers”)

1967 [50] Billy Corgan, Chicago IL, rock singer-guitarist (Smashing Pumpkins-“Tarantula”, “1979”)

1973 [44] Keifer Thompson, Miami OK, country singer (Thompson Square-“If I Didn’t Have You”, “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?”)

1978 [39] Geoff Sprung, Harrisonburg VA, country musician (Old Dominion-“Snapback”, “Break Up with Him”)

1988 [29] Grimes (Claire Boucher), Vancouver BC, electronica singer-songwriter-producer (“Venus Fly” f/Janelle Monáe, “Flesh Without Blood”)

1990 [27] Hozier (Andrew Hozier-Byrne), Bray, Ireland, indie singer-songwriter (“From Eden”, “Take Me to Church”)

1992 [25] John Boyega, London UK, movie actor (“Star Wars: The Force Awakens”) UP NEXT: “Star Wars: The Last Jedi”, opening December 15th.

TV actress Queen Latifah (“Star”) is 47; Country singer Philip Sweet (Little Big Town) is 43; Pop singer Adam Levine (Maroon 5) is 38; Indie drummer Daren Taylor (Airborne Toxic Event) is 37; Movie actress Lily Collins (“The Blind Side”) is 28.

Movie actress Glenn Close (“Fatal Attraction”) is 70; Film producer Harvey Weinstein (“Silver Linings Playbook”) is 65; Movie actor Bruce Willis (“Die Hard”) is 62; Rock drummer Zach Lind (Jimmy Eat World) is 41.

• “St Patrick’s Day”, the Irish national holiday that began as a ‘solemn religious observance’ to honor St Patrick (389-461 AD), patron saint of Ireland. It’s a public holiday in Ireland, Montserrat, and the Canadian province of Newfoundland & Labrador. Some fast facts …
– It’s been an Irish holiday for 1,500 years.
– The world’s largest “St Patrick’s Parade” is in NYC where over a million spectators and 100,000 participants are expected. A tradition since 1762, the 2-mile parade lasts about 6 hours.
– It was first celebrated in Canada in 1765 in Québec City QC.
– Since 1965, the Chicago River has been dyed green for the “Chicago St Patrick’s Parade”, an idea conceived when a plumber was observed using green dye to trace leaks from a building.
– Green is associated with “St Patrick’s Day” because it’s the color of Spring, Ireland, and the shamrock.
– In honor of a favorite Irish dish, today is also “Corned Beef & Cabbage Day”.
• “Submarine Day”, celebrating the sandwich also known as a ‘hoagie’ or a ‘hero’.
• “World Sleep Day”, an international celebration of sleep and a call to action on important issues related to sleep, including medicine, education, and driving.

• “Awkward Moments Day”, a day to celebrate the humor in life’s uncomfortable and embarrassing situations … which we normally fail to see until years later.
• “Biodiesel Day”, in honor of the clean-burning fuel that can be used in any diesel engine with no conversion whatsoever. It is derived from 100% renewable resources like soybeans, canola, mustard seed, even recycled cooking oil.
• “Forgive Mom & Dad Day”. No matter how lousy they were as parents, it’s time to let it go and get on with your life.
• “Worldwide Quilting Day”, the 26th annual on the 3rd Saturday of March, celebrating the grassroots movement to unite quilters around-the-world.

• “Chocolate Caramel Day”, an annual celebration of everything great about chocolate and caramel. (Increased flab, dental cavities …)
• “Poultry Day”, celebrating chicken, turkey, and other farm-raised fowl that we commonly consume. They also give us our breakfast eggs.
• “St Joseph’s Day”, the day that the swallows traditionally return to the Mission San Juan Capistrano in California, an excuse for the annual “Fiesta de las Golindrinas”. Every March 19th since 1776 (with few exceptions), the birds have come back to usher in Spring.

2012 [05] After getting pelted with cans and other trash at their SXSW performance, A$AP Rocky and the rest of A$AP Mob launch into the crowd, punching fans and igniting a brawl

2014 [03] Model, fashion designer, and long-time Mick Jagger girlfriend L’Wren Scott dies at age 49 in NYC, the victim of suicide

2008 [09] Heather Mills is awarded £23.7 million (about $47 million) in her divorce from Paul McCartney, substantially more than McCartney was offering

2008 [09] 62-year-old ABBA drummer Ola Brunkert is found dead with his throat cut in Majorca, Spain after hitting his head against a glass door in his dining room (embarrassing ways to die #264)

2000 [17] Julia Roberts becomes the 1st actress ever to command $20 million for a movie, with the release of “Erin Brockovich”

2013 [04] The largest meteorite hits the Moon since NASA started monitoring in 2005

[Mon] First Day of Spring (6:29am EDT)
[Mon] “Dancing With the Stars” season debut (ABC)
[Mon] Alien Abduction Day
[Mon] Naw-Ruz (Persian)
[Mon] Proposal Day
This Week Is … Flood Safety Awareness Week
This Month Is … International Women’s Month


• Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy.
• Drink maple syrup until you heave.
• Wet bonnet contest.
• Get a tattoo saying ‘Born to Raise Barns’.
• Churn butter naked.
• Cruise the streets on a really bitchin’ Clydesdale shouting insults at people with zippers.
• Buttermilk kegger.
• Sleep in till 6am.
• Drive over to Mennonite country and kick some ass.

Sometimes you don’t need the whole joke, just the punchline. For instance …
• “She’s out in the barn making Bailey’s Irish Cream.”
• “I thought ‘Dublin’ meant doing it with twins.”
• “That’s not the Blarney Stone, but don’t stop kissing it.”
• “Keep looking, I know there’s a shamrock in there somewhere.”
• “That is my thick Irish brogue, and yes, I’m happy to see you.”

☎ Which TV boss would you want to work for?

Question: 1-in-5 men admit they’ve lied to their significant other about THIS.
Answer: How they spent the tax refund.

The secret of having it all is believing you already do.

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