March 2 2018

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Friday, March 2, 2018 – Edition: #6168

Sheet For Brains!

★ American Chopper’ Star Paul Teutel Sr. has filed for bankruptcy, and claims he’s over a million dollars in debt. He lists that he owns 100% of Orange County Choppers, the custom motorcycle business he co-founded with his son, but states that the company’s value is $0. He also lists four dogs at a dollar a piece. He claims that the past two years he’s made $100,000, and his liabilities have become too much to handle. It has been previously reported that Teutel is facing foreclosure of his NY mansion. Discovery is in the process of reviving ‘American Chopper’.
(Owning your own company…priceless! Literally.)
★ Barbra Streisand dropped a fascinating nugget of information about her dogs during a ‘Variety’ interview. Streisand said two of her dogs were cloned from her dog Samantha, who passed away last year. Before Samantha died, Streisand had cells harvested from Samantha’s mouth and stomach to create her dogs Violet and Scarlett. The cloned puppies apparently have different personalities than Samantha. But Babs says that she is “waiting for them to get older so I can see if they have her brown eyes and seriousness”.
(We know they have their mother’s mouth!)
★ Serena Williams will play tennis competitively again for the first time since having her extremely photogenic seven-month-old Alexis Ohanian Jr…and she is unlikely to forget that fact while en route to the match. To celebrate her return, Williams’s husband (Alexis Sr.) Has arranged for four billboards to be placed along the I-10, which is how she’ll get to the BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells, California, next week. Each billboard has a picture of Alexis Jr., culminating with the message “GREATEST MOMMA OF ALL TIME”.
★ Brad Pitt is joining Leonardo DiCaprio in Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming Charles Manson movie, which will be titled “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” Tarantino, who is writing and directing, describes the project as “a story that takes place in Los Angeles in 1969, at the height of hippy Hollywood”. DiCaprio will play Rick Dalton, former star of a western TV series, while Pitt will be his longtime stunt double, Cliff Booth.
★ Rose McGowan wants her felony cocaine possession case in Virginia dismissed. She claims the drug found in her purse was possibly ‘planted by Harvey Weinstein’. According to her, “It is now public knowledge that Weinstein employed underhanded tactics to ‘silence’ his victims.” Her lawyer cited reports that Weinstein hired private investigators to trail some of the women who accused him of mistreatment.
★ Lisa Marie Presley has been ordered to pay her estranged husband $100,000, despite recently claiming she is $16.7 million in debt. Michael Lockwood had originally asked for $450,000 from his estranged wife, but the judge has instead ordered her to hand over $100,000, which she must pay within 30 days.
(Look for another ‘Elvis Greatest Hits’ album…soon!)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Allison Janney, Maisie Williams, Kent Jones ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Lin-Manuel Miranda, “Weird Al” Yankovic, Macaulay Culkin, Francis and the Lights
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Steve Buscemi, Sebastian Maniscalco
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Rachel Maddow, Dylan McDermott, Rita Ora ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Helen Mirren, J.K. Simmons ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jimmy Buffett, guest co-host Ana Navarro
• “The Talk” (CBS): Valerie Bertinelli, Duff Goldman
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ellen Burstyn, Carson Kressley
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Lawrence, Laverne Cox, Meghan Trainor
• “MasterChef Junior” (FOX): Season 5 premiere.
• “Once Upon a Time” (ABC): Season 7 midseason premiere.
• “Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards” (OWN): Honors the accomplishments and influence of Black Panther star and award-winning playwright Danai Gurira, Emmy Award-winning writer and actress Lena Waithe, actress Tiffany Haddish and actress/activist Tessa Thompson.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Charles Barkley, with musical guest Migos.
• “90th Academy Awards” (ABC): Jimmy Kimmel hosts the 90th annual ceremony. “The Shape of Water” leads with 13 nominations; “Dunkirk” has eight; and “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” has seven.

• Demi Lovato – kicked off her ‘Tell Me You Love Me’ world tour Monday night in San Diego and invited five students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida to join her onstage. The shooting survivors traveled via private jet to attend the show.
• Katy Perry – is facing an unexpected backlash after announcing her live show in Catalan on her social media channels using the Spanish national symbol. In 2017, Catalan voters demanded independence from Spain and the country has been in constitutional chaos since. Her post created a row between pro-independence Catalonians and Spaniards.
• Big Sean – In early Feb, he announced his 31-date ‘Unfriendly Reminder Tour’, which was set to kick off April 12 in Orlando, Florida. Now, the rapper has announced that the tour will be postponed because he’s been in a “deep creative space” and needs to remain focused on the new music at hand.
• Amy Winehouse – A long-lost song recorded when she was 17 years old has been shared online. ‘My Own Way’, was recorded in 2001 for a demo reel Winehouse was putting together in hopes of landing a record deal.
• Prince – The Minnesota Twins will be selling Prince merchandise. Purple hats, shirts and balls with both his symbol and the Twins’ logo will be sold beginning with the team’s home opener. The Twins will hold ‘Prince Night’ on June 8. (We just hope it isn’t ‘purple rain’ed out!)
• Rolling Stones – Keith Richards has tweeted an apology to Mick Jagger after commenting in an interview about the fact that Jagger became a dad again in 2016. He was quoted as saying, “It’s time for the snip — you can’t be a father at that age. Those poor kids!” The follow-up tweet says, “I deeply regret the comments I made about Mick…which were completely out of line. I have of course apologised to him in person”.
• Stone Temple Pilots – guitarist Dean DeLeo says that the band would have called it quits if they hadn’t found the right singer to replace Scott Weiland and Chester Bennington. The group’s new album features the vocals of one-time “The X Factor” contestant Jeff Gutt.
• Florida Georgia Line – promise their upcoming fourth album will feature more crossover collaborations along the lines of those they’ve done in the past with Nelly, The Chainsmokers, Backstreet Boys, and more. Brian Kelley says they have had songs for a new album “sitting around for a while” and they’re ready to “knock it out”.
• Cam – the inspiration behind the video for her song ‘Diane’ came from an unlikely source: Kendrick Lamar. Cam says she admires the rapper’s artistic style — especially his music videos, and their management teams discussed Lamar’s visual approach prior to the video’s production.
• Dolly Parton – ‘Imagination Library’, her charity that gives free books to children, has just given away its 100 millionth book. The milestone volume was a copy of Parton’s newest children’s picture book, ‘Coat of Many Colors’. It was given to the Library of Congress in Washington, where she has a partnership to livestream story readings.

• “Red Sparrow” (R-Rated, Action/Drama): Ballerina Dominika Egorova is recruited to ‘Sparrow School,’ a Russian intelligence service where she is forced to use her body as a weapon. Her first mission, targeting a C.I.A. agent, threatens to unravel the security of both nations. (Jennifer Lawrence, Joel Edgerton)
• “Death Wish” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): A man becomes a vigilante killing machine when his family is violently attacked by robbers. (Bruce Willis, Vincent D’Onofrio, Elisabeth Shue)
• “Goldstone” (Not Rated, Drama/Mystery): Indigenous Detective Jay Swan arrives in the frontier town of Goldstone on a missing persons inquiry. What seems like a simple light duty investigation opens a web of crime and corruption. (Aaron Pedersen, Alex Russell)
• “Foxtrot” (R-Rated, Drama): A troubled family face the facts when something goes terribly wrong at their son’s desolate military post. (Lior Ashkenazi, Sarah Adler)
• “Dance Academy: The Comeback” (Not Rated, Drama): This 2017 movie follows the original dance academy TV show and tracks where the characters are in their lives now. (Alex Acosta, Alicia Banit, Chris Bartlett)

Among the items in the Canadian federal budget announced this week that didn’t make the evening newscasts was the fact that $1000 bill will no longer be considered legal tender. Buried deep in the 367-page 2018 budget document, was the announcement that as part of a plan to crack down on counterfeiting, money laundering and tax evasion, the government will no longer allow those bills to be used to pay for goods and services. The rare $500, $25, $2 and $1 bills — none of which are currently being printed by the Bank of Canada, also will no longer be usable (Yes, there WERE $25 bills in the 1930s). No word on when these bills will no longer be accepted. While the Bank of Canada stopped printing the $1,000 note in 2000, there are still about 700,000 of those bills in circulation. The affected bills can still be deposited into a bank, which will in turn send them on to the central bank to be destroyed.
(Destroyed — as in shredded? Every other country is getting into bitcoins, and Canada is getting into bitbills!)
(So we don’t know when? I’d better rush out and spend my secret stockpile of thousand-dollar bills right away!)
(I knew the government was trying to take away all my money…I just never expected them to do it THIS way…)

If you visit this city, you’d better get your messages before you approach an intersection. Montclair, California has served notice that it is no longer OK to text and walk. At least that’s the case when you cross the street there. A new ordinance bans people from looking at their phones, talking on the phone, and from having headphones on both ears while crossing the street. Fines of $100 to $500 will go into effect in August.
(So text and walk your brains out until then, Montclairians!)
(A couple years ago, this would have wrecked a lot of games of Pokémon GO!)
(Fortunately, they only have one street to cross there!)

➢ Most straws stuffed in the mouth: 496
➢ Heaviest weight lifted with the eye socket 16.2 kg (35.71 lb)!! (Narrowly edging me opening my eyes like every time my alarm goes off…)
➢ The longest metal coil passed through the nose and out of the mouth: 3.63 m (11 ft 10.91 in)
➢ Most cosmetic procedures: 47; including 3 full facelifts; 2 nose operations; 2 eye lifts; liposuction; knees, waist, abdomen, thigh, and jawline surgery; lip and cheek implants; chemical peels; chin bone reduction; and semi-permanent make-up. (Keep your Kenny Rogers jokes to yourself!)
➢ Crushing three watermelons with the thighs: 14 seconds (Is it surprising that this was accomplished by a woman named ‘Olga’?)
➢ Loudest burp: 109.9 dB. That’s louder than a large orchestra.
➢ Farthest milk squirting distance from an eye: 279.5 cm (9 ft 2 in). The man sucked the milk through his nose before squirting it from his eye.
➢ Longest attack of hiccups: 68 years
➢ Most flesh tunnels on face: 11 facial flesh holes (fitted with expanders)
➢ Strangest diet: A man ate 18 bicycles, 15 shopping carts, 7 TV sets, 6 chandeliers, 2 beds, a pair of skis, a low-calorie Cessna light aircraft, and a computer. (Thank God for ketchup!)


1962 [56] Jon Bon Jovi, Perth Amboy NJ, rock singer (Bon Jovi-‘Livin on a Prayer’, ‘It’s My Life’)/Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee April 14, 2018

1968 [50] Daniel Craig, Chester UK, movie actor (“Skyfall”, “Casino Royale”)

1977 [41] Chris Martin, Exeter UK, pop singer (Coldplay-‘Viva La Vida’, ‘Clocks’)

1980 [38] Rebel Wilson, Sydney Australia, movie actress (“Pitch Perfect” movies) COMING UP…”The Hustle”, 2018

1981 [37] Bryce Dallas Howard, LA CA, movie actress (“Jurassic World”, “The Help”) UP NEXT: “Jurassic World 2” 2018

1982 [36] Ben Roethlisberger, Lima OH, NFL QB (2 wins in 3 Super Bowls with Pittsburgh Steelers 2006, 2009, 2011)

1989 [29] Nathalie Emmanuel, Southend-on-Sea UK (‘Missandei’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2013)

1945 [73] George Miller, Brisbane, Australia, movie producer-director (“Mad Max: Fury Road”, “Happy Feet” films) UP NEXT: “Mad Max: The Wasteland” (in development)

1958 [60] Miranda Richardson, Southport UK, movie actress (“Harry Potter” films, “The Hours”)

1970 [48] Julie Bowen (Luetkemeyer), Baltimore MD, TV actress (2 Emmys-‘Claire Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

1982 [36] Jessica Biel, Ely MN, movie actress (“Hitchcock”)/former TV actress (“7th Heaven” 1996-2006)/wed to Justin Timberlake since 2012

1984 [34] Joe ‘Blower’ Garvey, Oklahoma City OK, rock guitarist (Hinder-‘Lips Of an Angel’)

1997 [21] Camila Cabello, Havana, Cuba, pop singer (ex-Fifth Harmony-‘Worth It’, feat. Young Thug-‘Havana’)/reality TV contestant (“The X Factor” 2012)

Movie actress Catherine O’Hara (“Home Alone”) is 64; TV actress Patricia Heaton (“The Middle”) is 60

• “Dr Seuss Day”, celebrating the 1904 birth of Theodor Seuss Geisel in Springfield MA, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of children’s books that include “The Cat In the Hat,” “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!” and many other classics. He died in 1991. BS Factoid: “Seuss,” which was also his mother’s maiden name — was pronounced “Zoice” by the family, and by Theodor Geisel himself.

• “Old Stuff Day”, a celebration of antiques (either that or someone is finally appreciating my home decor!)

• “Banana Cream Pie Day”, the English version of banana cream pie is called ‘banoffee’ pie, being a portmanteau of ‘banana’ and ‘toffee’. The recipe for this dessert is much richer than its American counterpart, calling for lashings of condensed milk and toffee and often served with ice cream.

• “Dress in Blue Day”, an initiative to raise awareness about colon cancer, to celebrate survivors, and to help patients in need during “Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month”.

• Employee Appreciation Day”, when employers are encouraged to express gratitude to employees who make that extra effort. (…By allowing you to keep your job for another day.)

• “American National Anthem Day” in observance of the bill designating “The Star Spangled Banner” as the U.S. national anthem being passed by Congress and signed into law by President Hoover on this date in 1931.

• “Cold Cuts Day”, chilled slices of meat you get at the deli. You might pop them in sandwiches, you might have them drizzled with oil and with a few slices of cheese – whatever way you like them, Cold Cuts Day is all about celebrating all the tasty meats that are somehow even tastier when served up in slices.

• “Mulled Wine Day”, one of the most delicious ways of serving up your usual cheeky glass of red. Laden with spices and fruit, mulled wine brings out the natural sweetness of the alcoholic drink and gives it an extra sparkle of flavor. On a chilly night, curling up with a warm glass is the perfect tonic to winter blues.

• “Courageous Follower Day”, to dispel the myth that followers are passive or weak individuals. We often celebrate the concept of leadership, but all leaders require followers and, in fact, virtually all of us are followers at some times and leaders at others.

• “Grammar Day”, a day to celebrate clean, correct sentences and shun ungrammatical writing. Sponsored by the Society For the Promotion of Good Grammar. (And I got all the way through that without doin’ any bad grammar!)

• “Poundcake Day”, honoring the hearty dessert that sits in your stomach like a bowling ball. (Coincidently, tomorrow is ‘Pound Salt Day’.)

2009 [09] “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” premieres on NBC-TV as the new host takes over for Conan O’Brien (who moves to the “Tonight Show” … temporarily)

2008 [10] Canadian blues rocker Jeff Healey dies of cancer at age 41 in Toronto ON

2014 [04] Fast-food chain Arby’s buys the hat Pharrell Williams wore to the Grammys on eBay for $44,100 and donates it to the Newseum in Washington DC

1983 [35] The first CD players are released in America, along with 16 albums in the format.

1989 [29] “Like a Prayer” becomes the 1st hit song to debut in a commercial, as it’s used in a 2-minute Pepsi ad starring Madonna

1962 [56] Philadelphia Warriors center Wilt Chamberlain scores a pro basketball record 100 points vs the NY Knicks (breaking his own record of 78 set earlier the same season)


✓ Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour.
✓ There are 100,000 miles of blood vessels in an adult human body.
✓ Your ears and nose never stop growing.
✓ When awake, the human brain produces enough electricity to power a small light bulb.
✓ People with blue eyes have a higher alcohol tolerance.
✓ Ounce for ounce, human bones are stronger than steel.

• Fully one-third of the team accidentally brought golf clubs instead of baseball bat.
• Someone replaced gum and chewing tobacco with Tide pods.
• Every fan in the lineup asking for their breast to be autographed is a man.
• Your team has more DUIs than RBIs.
• You find a copy of ‘Baseball For Dummies’ in the locker room
• ‘Jobu’ isn’t helping you hit the curve.
• Your cup was made by ‘Dixie’.
• Your star slugger struck out on an intentional walk.
• You’re a Pirate.
• There’s a lot of crying.

• What actor or actress do you think never gets the credit that he/she is due? (According to Dustin Hoffman, it’s Adam Sandler)

I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

Question: 23% of women have asked a guy out on a date, because of this particular reason. What is it?
Answer: He smelled good!

People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy.

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