Tuesday, March 29, 2011       Edition: #4472
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Today author Francine Pascal publishes “Sweet Valley Confidential”, an adult novel that follows the story of what happened to the lead characters from her 1983-2003 “Sweet Valley High” book series (‘Elizabeth & Jessica Wakefield’ in mid-life angst) . . . Comedian-actor Russell Brand says he wants to crash the upcoming British royal wedding, disguised as Queen Elizabeth II (people might notice: he’s 6-2; she’s 5-4; otherwise, striking resemblance!) . . . A diverse selection of artists (Beyoncé, Bob Dylan, Elton John, Eminem, Foo Fighters, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, U2, and others) have contributed tunes to the new “Songs For Japan” digital compilation, with proceeds going to Red Cross relief efforts . . . The last person to interview movie star Elizabeth Taylor (for “Harpers Bazaar” magazine) was reality TV attention-seeker Kim Kardashian (now THAT’S a tragedy) . . . Actor Jeremy Piven is the latest name being bandied about as a possible replacement for Charlie Sheen on CBS-TV’s “Two-and-a-Half Men” (if you’re wondering why he’d leave “Entourage”, the answer is $$$) . . . Meantime, movie actor Will Ferrell says he’s hoping his upcoming 4-episode guest appearance on NBC-TV’s “The Office” will lead to a regular role, replacing outgoing star Steve Carell (can you tell his films have been bombing of late?) . . . And after 25 years as the daytime ‘Queen of Talk’, 57-year-old Oprah Winfrey has set Wednesday, May 25th as the date for the very last show of her mega-successful gabfest (mark your calendars and stock up on your Kleenex!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Blake Shelton (“Loaded: The Best of Blake Shelton”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Panic! At the Disco (“Vices & Virtues”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – A series recap show back-to-back with the first results show of the new season.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Britney Spears, who after numerous leaks and all kinds of hype, finally releases her new “Femme Fatale” album today; classic rockers Heart.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Britney Spears in a prerecorded performance from San Francisco’s Bill Graham Civic Auditorium.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The ubiquitous Britney Spears.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Snoop Dogg performs both on the show and online as part of the “Live On Letterman” webcast series (8 pm EDT). Today he releases his 11th studio album, “Doggumentary”, featuring collaborations with Kanye West, Wiz Khalifa, R Kelly, John Legend, and even Willie Nelson.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Little Big Town (“The Reason Why”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Dierks Bentley performs “Am I the Only One” from his upcoming 6th album. He’s currently headlining the 2011 Jagermeister Country Tour.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billy Currington – He’s taken over the top spot on “Billboard’s” ‘Country Songs’ chart for the week ending April 2nd with “Let Me Down Easy”.
• Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band – Tonight the classic rocker kicks off a North American tour in Saginaw, Michigan.
• The Kinks – Today there’s a re-issue of 7 of the 1960-70s Brit rockers’ first 10 albums, with bonus rarities, out-takes and more.
• Lady Gaga – She’s gone country! A new version of “Born This Way” is posted on her YouTube site, featuring country instrumentation and altered lyrics.
• Peter Bjorn & John – Today their new album “Gimme Some” is out, the follow-up to 2009’s “Living Thing”. The really good news … no earworm-causing whistling songs!
• Radiohead – Their new album, “The King Of Limbs”, is out today in digital, CD, and vinyl. The 8-tune effort clocks in at just over 37 minutes. Not much more than an EP when you get down to it.
• Rihanna – Her people are refuting rumors that dates may be canceled on her upcoming “Loud” tour due to poor tickets sales. In fact, they say, her 30 shows in North America are on pace to sell out.
• Sum 41 – Today they unleash “Screaming Bloody Murder”, their first studio album in 4 years.
• Taylor Swift – 16 new dates have been added to the upcoming North American leg of her “Speak Now World Tour 2011”. She’ll now perform a total of 78 shows in 63 cities in 42 states & provinces in the US and Canada this year.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “All Good Things” ( R-Rated Mystery Romance): Ryan Gosling & Kirsten Dunst star in this love story-murder mystery set against the backdrop of a NYC real estate dynasty in the 1980s. Inspired by a true story.
• “Black Swan” ( R-Rated Psychological Thriller): Natalie Portman won the Oscar for her portrayal of ballerina in a NYC ballet company whose life, like all those in her profession, is completely consumed with dance. Co-stars Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder.
• “Fair Game” ( PG-13 Bio-Drama ): While investigating the existence of ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’ in Iraq, CIA operative Valerie Plame (played by Naomi Watts) discovers her identity has been allegedly leaked by the government. Co-stars Sean Penn. Based on real-life events.
• “Tangled” ( PG Disney Animation ): Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi voice the characters of ‘Rapunzel’, a princess with 70 feet of magical, golden hair, who’s been locked away for years in a tower; and ‘Flynn Ryder’ the handsome bandit who frees her to venture into the outside world.
• Also released today: “Big Time Rush: Season 1” (TV); “Charlton Heston Presents The Bible” (Documentary); “Dennis the Menace: Season 1” (Vintage TV); “The Good War & Those Who Refused to Fight It” (Documentary); “Happiness Is a Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown” (Animation); “Hubble 3D” (Adventure Documentary); “In Plain Sight: Season 3” (TV); “Mad Men: Season 4” (TV); “Rocky & Bullwinkle: Complete Season 5” (Vintage TV Animation); “UFC: Best of 2010” (Sports); and “Xena: Warrior Princess: Season 2” (Vintage TV).

DICTIONARY ♡ SYMBOL:
The heart sign has entered the “Oxford English Dictionary” as the first graphical symbol to signify a word in the reference work’s 127-year history. Readers looking up the word ‘heart’ will find the symbol listed as an entirely new usage, as a verb meaning ‘to love’. Its earliest recorded use is on a car bumper sticker printed in the US in 1984, which read: ‘I [heart] my dog’s head.’ Researchers believe the use of the heart symbol in this way is the first time a typographical innovation developed through exposure on bumper stickers and T-shirts has entered mainstream language use. (What symbol should be next? Smiley face?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

THINGS THAT MAKE GUYS GAIN WEIGHT:
• Overindulging on weekends, particularly on fast food. If your weekday routine is healthy, stick with it on weekends.
• Large portions at meals. Experts say guys should eat lightly, 6 times a day instead of 3 hearty meals.
• Not working out. Experts recommend both cardio & strength training 3 days a week for 30 minutes each.
• Eating processed foods containing trans fats, some of the worst foods you can eat.
• Too much salt. Salty foods make you thirsty for high-calorie drinks, the reason peanuts are free in bars.
– Adapted from BestHealthMag.ca

TATS AS ART:
San Jose CA artist Chris Eckert uses the tattoo medium as a personal reaction against people being born into a religion rather than choosing one after research and reflection. His ‘Auto Ink’ sculpture is a 3-axis numerically controlled machine. Once the main switch is triggered, the user is assigned a religion and its corresponding symbol is tattooed onto the person’s arm. The inked-on symbol is assigned randomly. (Or through divine intervention, depending on your beliefs.)
NET: http://chriseckert.com/Sculpture/036_auto_ink/gallery.html
– Neatorama.com

TRULY CREEPY:
When you post a quick message or photo from your smartphone, you may be sharing more than you bargained for. Thanks to a free program called ‘Cree.py’, your location and where you’ve been can be tracked. The software looks for ‘geo-tagging’, GPS coordinates to a tweet or photo that are added without you even knowing it, and charts them on a map that reveals the location where photos were taken or posts made. That can reveal where you live, work, and your daily routine. As the name implies, ‘Cree.py’ may get used for some shady purposes. (The greatest luxury is soon going to be … privacy.)
– USAtoday.com

THE SHAKEDOWN ON QUAKES:
A new study from the University of Texas at El Paso shows that big earthquakes don’t set off other dangerous ones around the globe. Big quakes do trigger local aftershocks, but researchers have found no sign of them setting off moderate-sized events beyond about 600 miles away. Lead study author Tom Parsons says that he monitored the global map of earthquakes after the magnitude-9 Japan event on March 11th to look for any distant effect. He saw none. (Well, there’s one positive out of the tragedy at least.)
– HuffingtonPost.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• The first text message ever sent (1992) read simply: “Merry Christmas”.
• YouTube’s first video (2005) was called “Me At the Zoo” which began with the words: “Alright, so here we are in front of the elephants.”
• In Twitter’s first 140-character message (2006), founder Jack Dorsey said: “Just setting up my twttr”, then tweeted the 2 words “inviting co-workers”.
– “Magazine Monitor”

BS CHRONOMETER 03.29.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [68] Eric Idle, South Shields UK, Broadway musical composer (“Spamalot”)/former TV comic (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus” 1969-1974)/movie actor (“102 Dalmatians”)

1959 [52] Perry Farrell, Queens NY, rock singer (Jane’s Addiction-“Just Because”, Porno for Pyros-“Pets”)/”Lollapalooza” founder (1991)

1967 [44] John Popper, Cleveland OH, rock singer (Blues Traveler -“Run-Around”, “Hook”)

1969 [42] Brady Seals, Hamilton OH, country singer (Hot Apple Pie-“Hillbillies”, Little Texas-“My Love”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Knights of Columbus Day”, celebrating the world’s largest Catholic fraternal service organization on the anniversary of its incorporation. Founded in the USA in 1882, it has since spread to more than a dozen countries.

• “Mom & Pop Business Owners Day”, honoring family-run, small-time business operations. Ask listeners for the most unusual combination of services offered by a single business that they’ve come across, ie: “Al’s Roofing & Dry Cleaning”, “Bytown Farm Equipment & Driving Range”, “Corner Gas, Video & Tacky Souvenirs”, Slick Willy’s Used Jeeps & Massage, etc.

• “Smoke & Mirrors Day”, day to create a hoax, pull off a clever scam, or maybe just tell an outright lie. Although celebrated by the government all year long, this is the time for everyday folks to show off their duplicity.

• “Vietnam Veterans Day”. The last US troops left Vietnam 38 years ago today in 1973. In 1971, at the height of the conflict, some 33,000 soldiers deserted, many moving to Canada.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1985 [26] Madonna makes her movie debut in “Desperately Seeking Susan”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1986 [25] “Rock Me Amadeus” by Falco hits #1 on the pop singles chart

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1886 [125] Atlanta GA pharmacist John Pemberton concocts the first batch of what would become ‘Coca-Cola’ (introduced to the public as an ‘Esteemed Brain Tonic & Intellectual Beverage’ on May 8th)  BS FACTOID: The original Coke was green and still would be if they didn’t add coloring.

2000 [11] Major League Baseball season opens outside North America for the 1st time as Chicago Cubs play NY Mets in Tokyo, Japan

2008 [03] 35 countries and more than 370 cities join “Earth Hour” for the first time

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1990 [21] ‘World’s Largest Yo-Yo’ goes up & down 12 times while suspended from a 160-foot crane (built by a Jasonville IN high school woodworking class, it measures 6-ft in diameter and weighs 820 lbs)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Doctors Day
[Wed] Take a Walk In the Park Day
[Fri] April Fools Day
[Fri] Fun at Work Day
[Fri] St Stupid Day
[Sat] International Pillow Fight Day
[Sun] “46th Academy of Country Music Awards” (Las Vegas)
This Week Is … Medication Safety Week
This Month Is … Music In our Schools Month

BULL’S BITS

BS WAYS TO TELL IF YOU’RE READY TO HAVE KIDS:
• Fill a small cloth bag with 8-to-12 lbs of sand; soak it thoroughly in water. Beginning at midnight waltz, hum, and sing soothing songs to the bag for an hour. Rinse and repeat each hour.
• Smear peanut butter on your sofa and curtains; place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all Summer.
• Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos and spread them all over the house. Now put on a blindfold and try to walk from the bathroom or kitchen.
• Borrow one or two small goats and take them with you as you grocery shop. Try to always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
• To simulate dressing a child, get a large, unhappy, live octopus and try to stuff into a small net bag, making sure that all the arms stay inside.
• Trade your BMW in on a crossover. Buy an ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment; leave it there. Get a dime and stick it into the USB port. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There … perfect!
• Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
• Find a couple who already have a small child and lecture them on how they can do a better job of parenting. Enjoy this experience as it will be the last time you will have all the answers.
– Adapted from Poddys.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
Would you like calorie counts to appear on restaurant menus, including fast food fare? Or would you rather just enjoy eating out without the stress of knowing what you’re eating?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
They call him ‘jigsaw’ because every time he’s faced with a problem he goes to pieces.

TRUTH OR BS?
• The average animal dies after 800 million heartbeats. [True. That’s the reason a hummingbird, at 1200 heartbeats a minute, has a shorter lifespan than a human at 70. So if you wanna live longer, stay very, very calm!]
• During a 24-hour period, the average human will speak 4,800 words. [True, says “Useless Digest”.]
• Only 1-in-3 people close their eyes while kissing. [BS. According to a “Harlequin Romance” poll, fully 70% of us smooch with closed peepers.]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On average, men do THIS 3 times a day,
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Check their zipper.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
People who always stick to their plan become what they used to want to be.