March 29, 2012

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Thursday, March 29, 2012       Edition: #4716

Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

Today the house owned by Nadya Suleman, aka ‘The Octomom’, is being sold at auction after being in & out of foreclosure for over a year (her on-going money probs are behind her appearance in UK’s “Closer” magazine this week – nude) . . . Famous felon Lindsay Lohan is in negotiations to play herself on the season finalé of “Glee” (FOX), playing a celebrity judge, alongside comedian Kathy Griffin and singer Josh Groban (it’s unlikely even stunt-casting can reverse this show’s tailspin) . . . A 3-foot-high, 300-lb bronze statue of the ‘Lorax’ character from the Dr Seuss book and hit movie of the same name has been stolen from the late author’s La Jolla, California estate where his widow Audrey still lives (police are searching for a cat in a hat) . . . Former “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star, Camille Grammar, is dropping hints she’s considering marriage to her Greek boyfriend, Dimitri Charalambopoulos (the wedding will take place as soon as she learns to spell her new last name) . . . Talent-challenged TV personality Kim Kardashian has her eye on ‘Beckingham Palace’, the Hertfordshire UK mansion belonging to Victoria Beckham & soccer star hubby David Beckham, which is rumored to be going on the market for circa $28 million (please Britain, take her!) . . . Meantime, Kardashian’s legal team says it’s offered her ex, Kris Humphries, a ‘generous divorce settlement’, but the NBA player is said to be holding out for closer to $7 million (nice to see everyone involved is equally greedy) . . . And vegan actress Alicia Silverstone (“Clueless”) has posted a video on her blog showing that she feeds her 10-month-old son by chewing up food, then spitting it directly into his mouth (that might seem ludicrous, but then she named the poor tad ‘Bear Blu’ so it’s not surprising).


• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The contestants face elimination; performances by Nicki Minaj (“Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded”, out April 3rd), and Scotty McCreery (“Clear as Day”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Galactic (“Carnivale Electricos”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Big Time Rush (“BTR”). Rerun.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Chantal Kreviazuk (“In This Life”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Esperanza Spalding (“Radio Music Society”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Naked & Famous (“Passive Me Aggressive You”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Weird Al Yankovic (“Alpocalypse”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Patrizio Buanne (“Patrizio”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Miranda Lambert (“Four the Record”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Mat Kearney (“Young Love”).


• Amy Winehouse – The late singer did not leave a will, meaning her estate, estimated to be circa $4.75 million after tax, will automatically go to her parents, Mitch & Janis Winehouse. (Hard to believe she had that much left, no?)
• Britney Spears – She & agent-fiancé Jason Trawick recently enjoyed a quiet getaway to San Francisco together, where they managed to stay out of the spotlight, even venturing out to go shopping at a local mall. (Proving celebs CAN fly under the radar … if they want to.)
• Katy Perry – Her upcoming 3-D concert movie, “Part of Me”, will apparently feature an interactive element whereby fans can choose her outfits and set-list via Twitter.
• One Direction – Their hit song “What Makes You Beautiful” is being featured on an upcoming episode of “Glee” (FOX).
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Tonight the North American leg of their “I’m With You World Tour”, originally scheduled for January, finally gets underway in Tampa, Florida. The trek was postponed due to frontman Anthony Kiedis’ foot injury.
• Rihanna – Her rumored relationship with actor Ashton Kutcher has left his ex, Demi Moore, feeling ‘sick to her stomach’, according to an inside source. (She’s not alone.)
• Snow Patrol – Tonight they kick off a North American tour in Orlando, Florida in support of their latest album, “Fallen Empires”.


A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Butler” – Oscar-winning actor Forest Whitaker (“The Last King of Scotland”) has reportedly signed on to play the title character in this new film about longtime White House employee Eugene Allen, who served under 8 American presidents. 74-year-old Jane Fonda is in talks to portray former US First Lady Nancy Reagan. The film’s due to open next year.
• “Carrie” – 15-year-old actress Chloe Moretz (“Hugo”) has landed the titular role in an upcoming remake of Stephen King’s story about a girl who uses newly-discovered telekinetic powers to avenge those who tease her. The new adaptation is reportedly closer to the book than Brian DePalma’s 1976 movie that starred Sissy Spacek.
• “Dirty White Boy” – A movie based on the life of Wu-Tang Clan rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard is in the works. Michael K Williams (‘Omar’ on “The Wire”, ‘Chalky’ on “Boardwalk Empire”) will take on the role of Russell Jones, aka ODB. The film will focus on his relationship with a production assistant who eventually became his manager. ODB died of a drug overdose at age 35 in 2004.
• “Jupiter Ascending” – Channing Tatum (“21 Jump Street”) & Mila Kunis (“Black Swan”) are reportedly lined up to star in this sci-fi flick from directors Lana & Andy Wachowski. The plot is being kept strictly under wraps but it’s the first major sci-fi project for the pair since “The Matrix Trilogy”. Production is due to begin later this year. It’s hoped the project becomes a series.
• “Noah” – Director Darren Aronofsky is making a new, more muscular version of the Biblical story of Noah & The Ark with Russell Crowe as the old man in a boat and Liam Neeson said to be taking an unspecified supporting role. A July start to filming is being targeted, with a release date projected for some time in 2014.


Researchers have proposed building a nuclear clock that would lose only 1-10th of a second over 14 billion years, the current estimated age of the universe. The design would be 100 times more accurate than current atomic clocks and might be used in applications such as high-precision GPS satellites and experiments that probe fundamental physics. Atomic clocks measure time using the oscillations of a single atom and are accurate to 17 decimal places, but errant magnetism, electrical fields, and microscopic jostling could make them drift about 4 seconds over the lifetime of the universe. (If you try to tell someone the time to 17 decimal places … it’s already long past that time.)


Dietary solutions to developing a swimsuit bod’ for Summer …
• Chicken Breast – Protein takes more time to digest than carbohydrates, so you’ll feel full longer than if you eat the same number of calories in a carb- or fat-heavy meal.
• Greek Yogurt – Calcium consumed in tandem with an amino acid found in dairy products has been shown to burn fat.
• Green Tea – Research suggests that consuming 2-to-4 cups of fresh-brewed green tea daily can help you burn about an extra 50 calories a day.
• Eggs – Eating protein in the morning keeps you felling full longer, meaning you end up taking in fewer calories during the rest of the day.
• Cold Water – When you drink ice water, your body actually expends energy, warming the water up to your natural temperature.
• Chili Peppers – Capsaicin, the ingredient that gives chili peppers their fiery kick, can also fire up your fat-burning furnace.
• Pistachios – These nuts contain the right balance of healthy fat, protein, and fiber, and together they rev your metabolism and keep you feeling satisfied.
– Condensed from “Cosmopolitan”


A recent report from Pew Internet & American Life Project reveals that fully 46% of American adults now own smartphones, with even those aged 65+ showing tremendous interest. Both iPhone and Android have a lot to do with the increasing popularity, not only in the US but worldwide. While iPhone is hardware, Android is a Linux-based operating system that’s used on various brands of phones. Sales of the iPhone and Android-based phones are almost equal. Since the release of the iPhone 4S, Android phones remain marginally ahead as the first choice of smartphone customers, followed by iPhone, and BlackBerry. (We’re still using a flip-phone … with a crank.)


• Female drivers are better, according to the results of one of the biggest-ever studies of driving habits by gender. The review of thousands of accidents concludes that women drive better overall than men. In fact, of all road accidents reviewed, less than 35% were caused by women.
• During his lifetime, the average male fantasizes about sexual encounters with 1,000 different partners, according to a recent study. The most common male fantasy is an encounter with 2 women, while women most often fantasize about being in control of a sexual encounter.
– PA News

The Internet is going wild for ‘Tacocopter’ – perhaps the next great startup out of Silicon Valley. The concept behind the proposed service is simple: You order tacos on your smartphone and also beam in your GPS location info. Your order and your location are transmitted to an unmanned drone helicopter (grounded, near the kitchen where the tacos are made), and the whirlybird is then sent out with your food to deliver your tacos to wherever you’re standing. Unfortunately, the launch of Tacocopter – which is totally real and has been on the drafting board since July 2011 – is being blocked by the US government. (Holding out for pizza?)


• New research has found that simply holding a gun increases the chances that you think other people are armed as well.
– “Chicago Tribune”
• In 2011 an estimated 375 billion photos were taken worldwide, an average of 150 for every camera owner, and more than at any time in history.


1959 [53] Perry Farrell, Queens NY, rock singer (Jane’s Addiction-“Just Because”, Porno for Pyros-“Pets”)/”Lollapalooza” founder (1991)

1964 [48] Elle Macpherson, Sydney, Australia, TV personality (“Fashion Star” 2012, “Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model” since 2010)/former ‘supermodel’ (“Sports Illustrated”)

1971 [41] Lara Logan, Durban, South Africa, TV correspondent (“60 Minutes” since 2005)

1981 [31] Megan Hilty, Bellevue WA, TV actress (“Smash” 2012)/Broadway actress (“9 to 5: The Musical”)

1985 [27] Maxim Lapierre, Saint-Léonard QC, NHL forward (Vancouver Canucks)


• “Knights of Columbus Day”, celebrating the world’s largest Catholic fraternal service organization on the anniversary of its incorporation. Founded in the USA in 1882, it has since spread to more than a dozen countries.

• “Mom & Pop Business Owners Day”, honoring family-run, small-time business operations. Ask listeners for the most unusual combination of services offered by a single business that they’ve come across, ie: “Al’s Roofing & Dry Cleaning”, “Bytown Farm Equipment & Driving Range”, “Corner Gas, Video & Tacky Souvenirs”, Slick Willy’s Used Jeeps & Massage, etc.

• “Smoke & Mirrors Day”, day to create a hoax, pull off a clever scam, or maybe just tell an outright lie. Although celebrated by the government all year long, this is the time for everyday folks to show off their duplicity.

• “Vietnam Veterans Day”. The last US troops left Vietnam 39 years ago today in 1973. In 1971, at the height of the conflict, some 33,000 soldiers deserted, many moving to Canada.


1985 [27] Madonna makes her movie debut in “Desperately Seeking Susan”

2005 [07] After experiencing blurred vision at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony the month before, Neil Young enters a NYC hospital to have a brain aneurysm removed

2006 [06] (Sir) Tom Jones is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace


1886 [126] Atlanta GA pharmacist John Pemberton concocts the first batch of what would become ‘Coca-Cola’ (introduced to the public as an ‘Esteemed Brain Tonic & Intellectual Beverage’ on May 8th)  BS FACTOID: The original Coke was green and still would be if they didn’t add coloring.

2000 [12] Major League Baseball season opens outside North America for the 1st time as Chicago Cubs play NY Mets in Tokyo, Japan

2008 [04] 35 countries and more than 370 cities join “Earth Hour” for the first time (another is coming Saturday)


1990 [22] ‘World’s Largest Yo-Yo’ goes up & down 12 times while suspended from a 160-foot crane (built by a Jasonville IN high school woodworking class, it measures 6-ft in diameter and weighs 820 lbs)

[Fri] “Bully”; “Goon”; “Intruders”; “Mirror Mirror”; “Wrath Of the Titans” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “BMI Latin Awards” (Las Vegas)
[Fri] Doctors Day
[Sat] 25th “Kids’ Choice Awards” (Nickelodeon)
[Sat] Lollapalooza Chile (Santiago)
[Sun] 2012 “Juno Awards” (Ottawa)
This Week Is … Medication Safety Week
This Month Is … Music In our Schools Month


• As soon as you get behind the wheel, your instructor automatically inflates his airbag.
• You’ve worn out 7 brake pedals … in 2 lessons.
• To save time, the police have ordered traffic tickets with your name pre-printed on them.
• Other student drivers in your car are strongly encouraged to take Valium.
• Several cab companies have already offered you a job.


☎ Should polar bears and other endangered species be bred in captivity?

BS Q & A:

Q: What are the only 3 words in English that end in ‘gry’?
A: You might have come up with ‘hungry’ and ‘angry’ but the 3rd answer is a tad obscure – it’s simply ‘gry’, an archaic word referring to an obsolete unit of measurement. (Now you can wow ‘em when playing “Scrabble”!)
– “Homemakers”

According to recent studies, which are women more likely to suffer from than men?
a. Insomnia. [CORRECT]
b. Pneumonia.
c. Megalomania.


If screw-ups were dollars, I’d be a billionaire.


Question: Just over 5% of babies have THIS in common.
Answer: They were born on their actual due date.


If at first you DO succeed … try not to look astonished.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s Edition of “BS”!

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