WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• NBC-TV may be denying the rumor, but 2 ‘high-level’ industry sources have told “Hollywood Reporter” the 2013-14 season may be Jay Leno’s last as host of the “Tonight Show”. Word has it Jimmy Fallon of NBC’s “Late Night” will be announced as Leno’s successor in the Summer of next year. Why the switch? Increasingly, younger folks aren’t watching Leno anymore and he’s effing expensive (circa $20 million per year) while NBC is (mostly) broke. (And let’s not forget the elephant in the tube … he simply isn’t that funny anymore.)
• Cast members of ABC-TV’s “Modern Family” found themselves trapped in an elevator for nearly an hour on their way to headline a Boys & Girls Clubs fundraiser in Kansas City MO on the weekend. Julie Bowen, Eric Stonestreet, and Jesse Tyler Ferguson were among 15 people stuck in the lift at the Sheraton Kansas City Hotel at Crown Center. The 3 stars remained calm by taking pictures, making videos, and tweeting from the scene. (Fodder for a future episode?)
• Late movie legend Richard Burton was posthumously honored with the latest star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday. His star was unveiled next to ex-wife Elizabeth Taylor’s pavement plaque on Hollywood Boulevard. Burton, who died in 1984, received the career honor as part of 50th anniversary celebrations of the movie classic “Cleopatra”, in which he co-starred with Taylor. (Many forget that this ‘classic’ was one of the great box office bombs of all-time.)
• ‘Sarah O’Brien’ has left the Abbey. Actress Siobahn Finneran, who’s played the conniving maid of ‘Lady Crawley’ throughout the show’s 3-season run, won’t be returning for the upcoming 4th season of the British hit. She confirms she’s done with the character but admits playing a ‘thoroughly despicable human being’ was great fun. Despite the twists and turns of plot and loss of characters, the show’s fans remain faithful. Its Season 3 finalé on PBS-TV, which holds the US rights, drew a jaw-dropping 8.2 million viewers. (Many of whom now regularly adopt a snooty aristocratic accent around the house.)
• Could this be Hollywood’s latest odd couple? Word has it movie star Charlize Theron hit up Seth MacFarlane’s Oscar after-party instead of “Vanity Fair’s”, hanging out with people well below her Hollywood hierarchy because something might be happening between the two of them. According to “Chicago Sun-Times”, they got on well during rehearsals for the show and she’s attracted to his sense of humor. A source posits that it’s early, but a new relationship may be brewing. (No word yet on whether he’s ‘seen her boobs’.)
• And improv TV show “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” is being revived by the CW. The original British series ran 1988-98, then an American edition ran on ABC-TV 1998-2004, hosted by Drew Carey. Now Aisha Tyler (“The Talk”) has signed on as host for a new edition, on which improv comedians Ryan Stiles, Wayne Brady, and Colin Mochrie will return, with a guest comedian appearing on each episode. The show will air as part of the CW’s Summer schedule, with a premiere date yet to be announced. (Interesting to note this was originally a British RADIO program.)
– “Jam! Showbiz”
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Sean Rowe (“The Salesman and The Shark”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Regina Spektor (“What We Saw From the Cheap Seats”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Bad Religion (“True North”); Michael Bolton (“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough: A Tribute to Hitsville”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Little Big Town (“Tornado”). Rerun.
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Michael Bublé (“To Be Loved”, out April 23rd).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Norah Jones sings Oscar-nominated tune “Everybody Needs a Best Friend” (“Ted”). Rerun.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Blake Shelton – He’s atop the ‘Billboard Country Songs’ chart this week with his new #1 hit “Sure Be Cool If You Did”.
• David Bowie – His new album, “The Next Day”, is streaming in its entirety via the iTunes Music Store until its official release on March 12th. He’ll also release his latest single “The Stars (Are Out Tonight)”, along with “Where Are We Now?”, as a special white-vinyl 7-inch for “Record Store Day” on April 20th.
• Fall Out Boy – Pete Wentz quote: “It’s cool to do Fall Out Boy as Fall Out Men.”
• Justin Bieber – E! Online reports his 19th birthday bash at London’s Cirque du Soir on Friday night turned into his ‘worst birthday ever’.A confrontation between his entourage and club security resulted in his entire party making an early exit just minutes after arriving. The Bieb’s date was apparently Brit singer Ella-Paige Roberts Clarke. (Formerly known as ‘Who?’.)
• Nicki Minaj – She’s denying rumors she’s had work done to her face, insisting that if fans think her visage has changed, it’s only because of makeup. (She’s made no effort to clear up rumors about her larger-than-life booty.)
• One Direction – Rumors are circulating in Britain that Liam Payne is looking to leave the group. (The beginning of the end?)
• Thirty Seconds to Mars – “Up In The Air”, the lead single from their upcoming new album, was launched into space Friday as part of the SpaceX cargo mission to the International Space Station. The single premieres worldwide March 19th; their 4th studio album is due later in 2013.
THE TALKING DEAD:
Social media sites are full of improvised memorials, but now technology seems to be changing death again, with tools that let you get in one last goodbye after your demise or offer up even more extensive communications from beyond the grave. A new crop of start-ups is offering to send pre-written emails and posts to Facebook and/or Twitter once a person passes. One company is even toying with a service that tweets under the handle and in the style of a specific person after they are gone. Why? It allows you to literally extend the personality you had while alive, in death. (And you thought Twitter was a waste of time now …)
– Sourced from CNN.com
THINKIN’ IN THE RAIN:
Ever wonder why some of your best ideas seem to come out of the blue (while you’re in the shower, for example)? Essentially, our brains give us our best ideas when …
✓ A lot of dopamine is released in our brains. Triggers like exercising, listening to music, and, yes, taking a hot shower, contribute to increased dopamine flow.
✓ We’re relaxed. When we have a relaxed state of mind, we’re more likely to turn attention inwards, able to make insightful connections. That’s why being drunk and sleepy can be great for creativity … sometimes.
✓ We’re distracted. Distraction gives our brains a break so our subconscious can work on a problem more creatively.
(If you find that you’re a think-in-the-shower kind of person, there’s a product just for you called … ‘Aqua Notes’.)
– Condensed from Lifehacker.com
CALLING ALL DOLPHINS:
A new study has found that bottlenose dolphins call out the specific names of loved ones when they become separated. Other than humans, dolphins are the only animals known to do this. Earlier research has found that bottlenose dolphins name themselves, each developing a signature sound that encodes information about them. The new finding seems to confirm that bottlenose dolphins also use the names of other dolphins, particularly when searching for them. (Problem is, they all seem to be named ‘Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack’.)
Since 1978, Britain’s “Diagram Prize” for ‘Oddest Book Title’ has been given to the year’s most peculiarly named work. The shortlist for this year’s 35th annual honor …
✓ “Was Hitler Ill?” by Henrik Eberle & Hans-Joachim Neumann.
✓ “Lofts of North America: Pigeon Lofts” by Jerry Gagne.
✓ “God’s Doodle: The Life & Times Of the Penis” by Tom Hickman.
✓ “Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop” by Reginald Bakeley.
✓ “How Tea Cosies Changed the World” by Loani Prior.
✓ “How to Sharpen Pencils” by David Rees.
The winner will be chosen by public vote and announced March 22nd. (Entries from previous years have included “An Arsonist’s Guide to Writers’ Homes in New England”; and “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself”.)
– Extrapolated from Telegraph.co.uk
A California man has invented a new extreme sport, surfing on waves up to 30-feet-high (9-meters) … on waterskis. 43-year-old Chuck Patterson has combined his talents as a professional water skier and as a surfer to become the world’s first-ever ‘wave skier’. In contrast to water skiers, who are towed by a speedboat, wave skiing involves being released at the peak of a wave to ski ‘freestyle’. After letting go of a tow rope from a jet ski, Patterson reaches speeds of around 30 mph (50 km/hr) as he drops off huge waves. (Now if he could somehow also work a parachute into this act …)
SMELLING IN STEREO:
Humans and many other mammals see and hear in stereo, but what about smell? Researchers have long wondered whether smell has this component as well. Now biologists at Vanderbilt University report in the journal “Nature Communications” that common moles, who are blind, seem to indeed have this ability, which they use to swiftly locate prey. Previous research indicates that rats may smell in stereo and there are suggestions sharks and ants can as well. (The best aromas to inhale in ‘surround smell’? We say coffee and cinnamon buns.)
– Excerpted from NYTimes.com
BS AMAZING FACT:
German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schauble claims the most widespread language in the world is now … ‘badly spoken English’. (He may be right, check “Best of BS” below.)
BS CHRONOMETER 03.04.13
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954  Catherine O’Hara, Toronto ON, movie actress (“Where the Wild Things Are”, “Home Alone” films)/former TV comedian (“SCTV” 1976-81)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2007)
1958  Patricia Heaton, Bay Village OH, TV actress (‘Frankie Heck’ on “The Middle” since 2009, “Back to You” 2007-08, “Everybody Loves Raymond” 1996-2005)
1977  Jeremiah Green, Oahu HI, rock drummer (Modest Mouse-“Dashboard”, “Float On”)
1985  Whitney Port, LA CA, reality TV personality (“Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model” 2012-13, “The City” 2008-10, “The Hills” 2006-08)
1986  Margo Harshman, San Diego CA, TV actress (‘Alex Jensen’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2012)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Courageous Follower Day”, to dispel the myth that followers are passive or weak individuals. We often celebrate the concept of leadership, but all leaders require followers and, in fact, virtually all of us are followers at some times and leaders at others.
• “Grammar Day”, a day to celebrate clean, correct sentences and shun ungrammatical writing. Sponsored by the Society For the Promotion of Good Grammar.
• “International Scrapbooking Industry Day”, honoring the hobby that’s experienced a huge surge in popularity. More than just saving mementoes, modern scrapbooking involves sorting, cropping, pasting, and writing captions for chosen pictures.
• “March Forth and Do Something Day!”, a day of motivation celebrated each March 4th.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005  Multimedia style maven Martha Stewart (“Martha Stewart Living”) is released from prison in West Virginia after serving 5 months for securities fraud and obstruction of justice
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1978  4-of-the-top-5 songs are either performed by the Bee Gees (“Stayin’ Alive” at #2, “Night Fever” at #5) or written by them (Samantha Sang’s “Emotion” at #4, kid brother Andy Gibb’s “Love Is Thicker Than Water” at #1)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1877  The 1st ‘microphone’ is developed (thanks to Emile Berliner, you have a job!)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1943  Actress Greer Garson takes 5.5 minutes to accept her Academy Award for “Mrs Miniver”, considered an Oscar acceptance speech record (a tedious total that becomes more and more exaggerated over the years)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Unique Names Day
[Wed] Oreo Cookie Day
[Wed] Learn What Your Name Means Day
[Thurs] Be Heard Day
[Thurs] World Maths Day
[Thurs] Cereal Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Celebrate Your Name Week / Cheerleading Week / Consumer Protection Week / Ghostwriters Week / Newspaper in Education Week / Professional Pet Sitters Week / Read an eBook Week / Return the Borrowed Books Week / Save Your Vision Week / School Breakfast Week / Severe Weather Preparedness Week / Sleep Awareness Week / Universal Human Beings Week / Write a Letter of Appreciation Week / Women in Construction Week / Words Matter Week
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Asian manufacturers have found that consumers thinks it’s cool to have clothing with English slogans, even if they don’t make any sense. Actual slogans recently spotted …
• “Socks For Street – Please Take Pleasure in Street Taste.”
• “Fight Peaceful!”
• “You Are the Young and the Hopeless”
• “Plant With Too Much Power”
• “Swarms of Winter Gnats Are Still Around”
• “Toilet Love!”
– First published in “BS” 2004.
BS THREATS USED IN DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES:
✳ “Billy Bob, you finish them chores or Sis’ ain’t goin’ to the prom with ya!”
✳ “Eat your brussels sprouts, or Mommy won’t love you anymore.”
✳ “All right, Little Mister, no more time in the sheep pen for you!”
✳ “You just wait ‘til your father gets paroled!”
✳ “If you don’t stop that this instant, I’ll have Grandma perform another pole dance for you.”
– First published in “BS” 1997.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I named my band 999 MB. We haven’t got a gig yet.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Have you ever been your spouse’s boss (or vice versa)?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: THIS was a very common word just 20 years ago, but now it’s being removed from “Webster’s Dictionary”.
Answer: ‘Cassette’ (as in audio).
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The first half of your life you know it all; the second half of your life you forget it all.