March 8 2022

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Tuesday, March 8, 2022 – Edition: #7183

If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!


★ “Friends” was the show that turned Courteney Cox into a star, but she recently revealed that her memory of working on it is pretty spotty. In an interview, Cox joked that she should’ve rewatched the series before appearing on “Friends: The Reunion” in May 2021. Quote: “When I did the reunion and was asked questions, I was like, ‘I don’t remember being there.” She went on to say that sometimes she catches the show on TV, and says to herself: “’Oh my God, I don’t remember this at all, but it’s so funny.’”
★ If you’ve ever wondered how Idris Elba keeps his skin glowing, then look no further. The handsome actor and his gorgeous wife Sabrina Elba have announced their latest joint venture, letting us in on their secrets via a skincare line. The upcoming beauty line is called S’able Labs, which is the couple’s last name spelled backward. It is a gender-neutral skincare line that prioritizes “ethical supply chain and reducing the use of toxic ingredients and unnecessary packaging.”
★ (***Caution – “Cock”***) Taron Egerton collapsed on stage in London Saturday night during the first performance of the play “Cock”. The cast was about three-quarters of the way through its performance when he suddenly took ill, and fainted on stage. According to a report, the curtain came down at the Ambassadors Theatre and a doctor in the audience rushed to the stage to assist. After a 40-minute break, the show’s director assured everyone that Egerton was “absolutely fine,” and understudy Joel Harper-Jackson stepped in for the final 15 minutes of the production.
★ Kenan Thomson marked a major milestone on Saturday’s episode of “SNL”. He took part in his 1,500th skit (yes, you heard that figure correctly). Thompson has been a mainstay on the show since he first joined the cast in 2003. He currently holds the title for the longest-standing player in Saturday Night Live history and has been nominated for 5 Emmy Awards over the years for his work on the program.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Mark Wahlberg, Sofia Black-D’Elia, Spoon, Chloe Kim (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Alicia Keys, Zoey Deutch, EARTHGANG
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Leslie Jones, Topher Grace, Brad Meltzer, Todd Sucherman
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jennifer Garner, Greg Kinnear, 5 Seconds of Summer
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jackie Goldschneider, Danny Pellegrino
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kristin Chenoweth, guest co-host Stephanie Grisham
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Brittany Snow, Vallery Lomas, guest co-host Bethenny Frankel
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Zach Braff
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Mandy Moore, Aida Rodriguez, Kwame Onwuachi, Jason Gray Stanford, Ricky Dillard (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Taylor Schilling
• “American Auto” (NBC): Season 1 finale
• “The Thing About Pam” (NBC): Series premiere. Pam Hupp is the last person to see close friend Betsy Faria alive after dropping her off at home on the night of her murder; Betsy’s husband makes a distraught call to 911.
• “Deep Fried Dynasty” (A&E): Series premiere. The State Fair of Texas, where food is bigger, better, and deep fried; Fried Jesus and the Stiffers serve up fried butter, fried PB&J sandwiches and fried s’mores; equipment and employee issues hinder Smokey John’s.

• Swedish House Mafia — Sting recreates the classic refrain from The Police’s ‘Roxanne’ — “You don’t have to put on the red light” — in their new song ‘Redlight’. It will appear on the supergroup’s debut album “Paradise Again”, out April 15.
• The Chainsmokers – definitely approve of Kanye West’s take on ‘New York City’. The DJ duo said on a podcast that they were blown away when they heard Fivio Foreign’s single ‘City of Gods’, which features Ye and Alicia Keys while sampling the chorus from the pair’s 2015 song. New York City originally appeared on a Chainsmokers EP prior to the release of their first album.
• Jennifer Hudson – The Grammy Award-winning singer is venturing into the world of daytime television. Warner has announced “The Jennifer Hudson Show” will premiere this fall on Fox.
•  Prince — R&B legend Morris Day says he has been forbidden by Prince’s estate from using the name Morris Day & the Time. On Facebook, he wrote: “I’ve given 40 years of my life to building up a name and legacy that Prince and I came up with…while he was alive, he had no problem…Suddenly, the people who control his multimillion dollar estate want to rewrite history by taking my name away.”
• The Rolling Stones – are planning to mark their 60th anniversary with a string of concerts in England this summer, reportedly including a gig in Liverpool and 2 nights in London’s Hyde Park as part of the British Summer Time festival. The anniversary shows will include a tribute to late drummer Charlie Watts, who died last summer. The band has also recently been working on a new album.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers — bassist Flea regrets his band’s attitude toward other bands trying to find fame in the ‘80s. He said RHCP fostered a “certain arrogance” toward groups like Guns N’ Roses. Quote: “We were definitely against the hair-metal scene. We’re the underground, art-rock, get-weird east side guys; those guys are just rehashing Aerosmith and Kiss.’” Now, he admits “Guns N’’ Roses was a great band.”
• Kacey Musgraves – has been named one of Time magazine’s Women of the Year. She told the magazine about how difficult it is for a woman in a male-dominated industry, saying: “I have been told ‘no’ a lot in terms of something that I would want to take a creative risk on.”
• Kane Brown – His song ‘One Mississippi’ hit #1 on the Billboard country airplay chart this week, just as he released the first single from his next project, ‘Leave You Alone.’ And if that wasn’t enough, he also revealed on a podcast that he doesn’t eat vegetables and “had to be drunk” when he recently tried spinach or kale for the first time. He’s apparently not sure which it was… LINK:
• Dolly Parton — teamed up with bestselling writer James Patterson on the thriller novel “Run Rose Run”, and she’s already envisioning the role she’d play in a movie version. The story centers on an up-and-coming singer who is comforted by a retired country star. Parton, who would like to play the music vet in the story, which she calls a cautionary tale about the music industry.


Scientists say that being agreeable may be the main key to success in life. University of Arkansas researchers carried out a study on how personality affects job performance, focusing especially on agreeableness. They found that agreeableness offers “a desirable effect on hundreds of physical, psychological and occupational metrics” impacting both career and overall life success. Among the important findings of the study was that people who had high levels of agreeableness had a 93% success rate in psychological health, physical health, personal relationships, leadership effectiveness, and performances in both educational and organizational environments. The team concluded: “Agreeableness is the personality trait primarily concerned with helping people and building positive relationships, which is not lost on organizational leaders.”
(Go ahead, argue with that. I dare ya!)
(…except in politics, where generally, the LESS agreeable you are, the more successful you become!)
(Happily, this gives me hope that my miserable rich neighbor probably isn’t as successful as he seems…)

Maybe, just possibly, we now know exactly what “Stonehenge” is all about. According to an archaeologist, the imposing group of monuments dominating a plain in southwest England were constructed as an ancient time-keeping system. The central axis of the megaliths, constructed an estimated 5,000 years ago, was — and still is — aligned with the sunrise at midsummer and sunset at midwinter. The stones perfectly frame the rising and setting sun when days are at their longest and shortest. It has long been thought the monument was used for ceremonial purposes rather than an accurate way to track the days, months and seasons. But Timothy Darvill, a professor of archaeology at the UK’s Bournemouth University, conducted a study, and concluded that Stonehenge served as a solar calendar. It’s a pretty complex explanation, but suffice to say this guy knows what he’s talking about. He says Stonehenge is “A place where the timing of ceremonies and festivals was connected to the very fabric of the universe and celestial movements in the heavens.”
(I don’t have any idea how an ancient civilization would have the smarts, the know-how, or the ability to build a time-keeping system like that, but I do know this: If my wife lived back then, she’d STILL be late!)
(You know what even beats Stonehenge? Paperhenge!)

Here’s something the word could definitely use right now. New Dr. Seuss books are dropping soon! Dr. Seuss Enterprises, with Random House Children’s Books, will publish a line of books for readers ages 4 to 8 that build on Dr. Seuss’ work, but are written by an “inclusive community of authors and illustrators,” according to Seuss Enterprises. The books are inspired by Seuss’ unpublished illustrations, like the big-eared rabbit or a little doodle you may have seen online, that’s labeled “assorted humming birds.” The new publications will be a part of the new Seuss Studios and are said to “reflect Seussian whimsy and the diversity of his readership.”
(I heard a who about that!)
(I saw a picture once of him with Dre and Spock. Clearly it had been doctored!)

☞ Carry around an eye-catching drink or dessert missing a slice or 2:  And before you know it, you have to have one!
☞ Offer upgrades without mentioning the price:  Want guac with that? Cheese on your burger? Gravy? It’s extra, but they don’t mention that unless you ask…
☞ Do a slight nod when suggesting these upgrades:  You might be surprised how well this works. (How did she know I love bacon?)
☞ Give you 2 straws in your drink:  It makes you drink faster…and alcohol is where restaurants really make money. (They look funny in your wine bottle, though…)
☞ Be extra nice to your kids:  Parents tend to tip more if the server ignores the fact that their little monsters are destroying the floor under the table, and running amuck throughout the place.
☞ Mention dessert up front:  Plant the seed while they’re hungry, and they’re more likely to “save room” for dessert. (I don’t have room, but I’m willing to add on!)
☞ Hand you the menu open to the most expensive page:  Once you’ve seen those babies, the “salad” page looks pretty boring!
(There are tricks to every trade . . .)

Remember “Freedom fries”? Now, a Canadian diner has temporarily renamed a dish to show support for Ukraine after Russia’s invasion. Poutine is a popular Canadian specialty of French fries and cheese curds topped with brown gravy. When said out loud, it sounds similar to “Putin” — the Russian president’s last name. Le Roy Jucep, a restaurant in Drummondville, Quebec, which claims to have invented poutine, wrote on Facebook that it is changing the name to “la frite fromage sauce” (the fry cheese gravy). The post also revealed “a revised logo sporting Ukrainian blue and yellow.”


• “International Women’s Day”, first suggested at a 1910 women’s conference in Copenhagen by activist Clara Zetkin. The first “IWD” was observed in Germany the next year. This year’s theme is #BreaktheBias LINK:
• “Proofreading Day”, to promote accuracy in written messages. If you hate typos and grammatical errors, thIs iZ yer dayb (What grammatical error drives you bonkers? When someone uses an apostrophe for plural, it makes me want to bite a wall…)
• “Be Nasty Day”, If ever there was a holiday or observance to NOT participate in, it’s Be Nasty Day! On this day, we all have an excuse to be rude, mean, spiteful, or difficult to be around. (It isn’t known who created this, but what a nasty thing to do!)
• “Unique Names Day”, a part of “Celebrate Your Name Week”, when we’re encouraged to salute people we know who have an unusual name. Let’s appreciate them for going through life without seeing their names on retail items like ready-made key chains, etc. (But what kid ISN’T given a unique name these days …or at least a unique spelling?
• “Organize Your Home Office Day”. Studies once showed that an inordinate number of those who work at home still dressed in office attire every day in order to ‘get into work mode’. Is that still the case? (At least from the waist-up?)
• “Girls Write Now Day”, celebrating girls and girl writers, and encouraging girls of all ages everywhere to “put pen to paper and explore the beauty and power of their unique, creative voices.”

[Wed] Barbie Day
[Wed] Get Over It Day
[Thurs] International Bagpipe Day
[Thurs] Mario Day

1945 [77] [George Michael] “Micky” Dolenz, Los Angeles CA, pop singer/drummer (The Monkees-‘I’m a Believer’, ‘Last Train to Clarksville’)/TV actor (“The Monkees” 1966-68)/Last surviving member of The Monkees

1959 [63] Aidan Quinn, Chicago IL, TV actor (“Elementary” 2012-19)/movie actor (“Legends of the Fall”)

1959 [63] Lester Holt, Marin County CA, journalist/news anchor (“Dateline NBC” since 2011, “NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt” since 2015)

1961 [61] [Debra] Camryn Manheim, Caldwell NJ, TV actress (“The Practice” 1997-2004, “Ghost Whisperer” 2006-10)

1976 [46] Freddie Prinze Jr., Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“She’s All That”, “Scooby-Doo”)/married to Sarah Michelle Gellar since 2002

1977 [45] James Van Der Beek, Cheshire CT, TV actor (“Don’t Trust the B–– In Apartment 23” 2012-13, “Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)

1979 [43] Andy Ross, Worcester MA, rock guitarist (OK Go-‘Here It Goes Again’, ‘Get Over It’)

1982 [40] Kat Von D [Katherine von Drachenberg], Monterrey Mexico, tattoo artist/reality TV star (“LA Ink” 2007-11, “Miami Ink” 2005-06)

1993 [29] “Beavis and Butt-Head”, a show about 2 animated idiots who watch MTV, debuts on MTV (A spin-off movie is expected this year on Paramount+)

2003 [19] The singing competition show “Nashville Star” debuts on USA Network (Miranda Lambert finishes 3rd on Season 1)

2003 [19] 50 Cent’s first single, ‘In Da Club’, tops the chart for the first of 9 weeks

2016 [06] AC/DC postpones the remainder of their US tour after singer Brian Johnson is warned he’ll go deaf if he continues (Axl Rose eventually takes over to complete the gigs)

2016 [06] Legendary Brit record producer Sir George Martin (The Beatles) dies at age 90

1969 [53] ‘Happy Birthday’ becomes the first song to be performed in outer space when Apollo IX astronauts sing it to celebrate the birthday of the director of NASA space operations, Christopher Kraft


✓ The bird on the Twitter logo is named “Larry.” It was named after NBA player Larry Bird.
✓ Laughter synchronizes the brains of both speaker and listener so that they become emotionally attuned.
✓ Eating garlic improves your body odor.
✓ About 3lbs. (1.4kg) of your body weight is bacteria and parasites.
✓ The tallest volcano on Mars is 17 miles (27.3km) high – 84 times taller than the Eiffel Tower.
✓ Russian President Vladmir Putin once tried to sue Harry Potter filmmakers because he believed the bald, floppy-eared, pointy-nosed, bug-eyed character ‘Dobby’ the house-elf was based on him. (No kidding: )
-WhattheFFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .

• Who cares what the square root of anything is?
• Why are kernel and colonel pronounced exactly the same?
• Why didn’t I major in Engineering instead of 18th Century Romance Literature?
• What the heck does ‘fleek’ mean?
• Did you really think that wasn’t going to happen?
• If McDonalds sold Mac and Cheese, would it be called ‘McMac and Cheese’?
• Why don’t I just have one particular spot to put my wallet and keys every day?
• Realistically, is vodka going to help this?
• I know where your car is. Do you, dude?
• New phone, whom is this?
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

• “Do I come here often?”
• “Hey! Who sucked the salt off of these pretzels?”
• “I’m sure I put my ring right here in this pocket…”
• The sound of a priest, a rabbi and a minister walking in.
• Great pickup lines like “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
• “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
• “Hey, baby, I wear a size 15 shoe if you catch my drift…”
• Semisonic’s ‘Closing Time’ EVERY STINKING NIGHT!
• “Norm!”
• My life story.
-Twitter, first published in Bs in 2019


Fitness goals:

Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

What website or app doesn’t exist, but you really wish it did?

Question:  A survey found that the #1 thing forgotten by adults is where they put their keys. What is #2?
Answer:  What they went to the grocery store for

There are 2 ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.



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