March 9 2023

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Thursday, March 9, 2023 – Edition: #7434

Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!


★ Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s 1-year-old daughter Lilibet has been christened, but the royals reportedly weren’t in attendance. A spokesperson for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex confirmed “that Princess Lilibet Diana was christened on Friday, March 3 by the Archbishop of Los Angeles, the Rev John Taylor.” People reports that the christening was a “small and intimate ceremony” held at their home in Montecito, California. According to a source, Harry and Meghan invited King Charles, Camilla, Prince William and Kate Middleton, but they chose not to attend. There were reportedly 20-30 guests at the ceremony, including Meghan’s mother, Lilibet’s godfather, Tyler Perry, and an unnamed godmother.
★ Months after Jeremy Renner’s devastating snow plow accident, Disney+ has unveiled the trailer for his feel-good project “Rennervations”, which features the “”Hawkeye” actor and a team of expert builders as they travel the world in search of decommissioned vehicles that they can rebuild to serve a new purpose for communities in need. The four-part Disney+ series, which Renner calls “a driving force” in his recovery, was filmed prior to his accident, and will also feature his “Avengers” co-star Anthony Mackie, Vanessa Hudgens, Anil Kapoor and Sebastián Yatra. “Rennervations” will hit Disney+ on April 12. LINK:
★ Chris Rock’s controversial Netflix special has cracked the streamer’s Top 10 TV list in the US with just one day of viewing data. After airing live on Saturday night, “Chris Rock: Selective Outrage” ranked #7 in TV shows watched in the US for the week, as viewers caught the one-episode special Saturday evening through Sunday. The platform’s first foray into live programming also has a running time of just one hour, far shorter than the typical Netflix series.
-TheWrap, HollywoodReporter
★ Jason Sudeikis has given a discouraging update about the future of “Ted Lasso”. It’s long been speculated that the Apple TV+ series would conclude with its third season, and now, he has seemingly confirmed that. Speaking to Deadline, Sudeikis said:  “This is the end of this story that we wanted to tell…The fact that folks will want more and are curious beyond…Season 3 — it’s flattering. Maybe by May 31, once all 12 episodes of the season [have been released], they’re like, ‘Man, you know what, we get it, we’re fine.’” When pressed, Sudeikis did seem to leave the door open just a crack to the possibility of a spinoff.
★ The stars will shine bright on Oscar night. The Academy has unveiled a new slate of presenters for Sunday’s ceremony. Jessica Chastain (who will take a quick break from Broadway, where she is starring in “A Doll’s House”), plus Halle Bailey, Antonio Banderas, Elizabeth Banks, John Cho, Andrew Garfield, Hugh Grant, Danai Gurira, Salma Hayek Pinault, Nicole Kidman, Florence Pugh and Sigourney Weaver, will all present at the 95th Oscars. They join another, well – all-star cast — of previously announced talent appearing for cinema’s big night — including Michael B. Jordan, Melissa McCarthy, Janelle Monáe, Emily Blunt, Jonathan Majors, Questlove, Glenn Close, Ariana DeBose, Jennifer Connelly, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Zoe Saldaña and more.
★ HBO’s penultimate episode 8 of “The Last Of Us” delivered 8.1 million viewers Sunday night across HBO Max and linear telecasts. That’s up 74% from the series debut in January and sets a new series high ahead of next Sunday’s season finale. The Last Of Us was also the top title overall on HBO Max for the 8th consecutive week. The average audience for the series’ first 5 episodes is now approaching 30 million viewers across all platforms, according to HBO.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jon Favreau, Nicole Byer, Tove Lo (R)
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jenna Ortega, Hannah Waddingham, TWICE
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Steven Spielberg, John Williams
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Adam Driver, Adam Brody, Urian Hackney
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Milo Ventimiglia, Madelyn Cline, Tim Young
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ike Barinholtz, Padma Lakshmi
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kerry Washington, Margaret Cho
•  “The Daily Show” (COM): Guest host Marlon Wayans
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Courtney Cox, Adam Brody
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Ava Max, Becky Lynch, Seal (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Sheryl Underwood, Stephanie Izard, Eve Rodsky
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Octavia Spencer
• “Station 19” (ABC): Theo realizes there’s an uptick of fires in his old neighborhood and finds himself returning; Sullivan greets a patient with a large chest burn.
• “Top Chef” Season 20 premiere. An international showdown in London; 16 competitors, including previous winners and finalists, face off in the fiercest showdown yet.
• “The Torso Killer Confessions” (A&E): A Bergen County, NJ detective elicits murder confessions from serial killer Richard Cottingham, nicknamed the Torso Killer, and ties him to additional murders. Part 1.

• Taylor Swift and Pink – will receive special awards in honor of their impact on pop culture during the 2023 iHeart Radio Awards on March 27. Swift will receive the Innovator award in recognition of her career and artistic influence. Pink will be honored with the Icon award for her impact on “pop culture, longevity and continued relevance as a touring and radio force.”
• Miley Cyrus – A few days ahead on tomorrow’s release of her “Endless Summer Vacation” album, she revealed that it is divided into 2 parts: AM and PM. Quote: “The AM to me is representing the morning time, where there’s a buzz and energy and there’s a potential of new possibilities. At nighttime (the PM), it feels like there’s a slinky, seediness, and kind of a grime but a glamour at the same time. LINK:
• Matchbox 20 — March 17, the group will release its first new song since 2012. Kyle Cook made the announcement on social media, writing: “Got some new pics of the band comin’ in hot! First single – Wild Dogs (Running In A Slow Dream) available March 17!!” The group’s tour with The Wallflowers begins in May. LINK:
• Avril Lavigne – Monday, she was photographed sharing a kiss with Tyga outside the Mugler X Hunter Schafer party at Paris Fashion Week. Last month, it was reported that she and Mod Sun had called off their engagement after less than a year.
• Peter Gabriel – has announced a run of North American tour dates in support of his upcoming album “i/o”. He’ll play Quebec City Sept. 8, followed by shows in Ottawa, Toronto and Montreal, before moving stateside for shows in major cities, concluding in LA on Oct. 13. He also released the 3rd song from the new album this week, ‘Playing for Time’. LINK:
• Tim McGraw, Dierks Bentley, Ashley McBryde, Luke Combs, Carly Pearce and Jimmie Allen — are among the acts set to perform at CMA Fest, set for June 8-11 at Nashville’s Nissan Stadium. Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Dan + Shay, Jordan Davis, Hardy, Tyler Hubbard, Cody Johnson, Miranda Lambert, Little Big Town, Old Dominion, Jon Pardi, Keith Urban and Lainey Wilson are also scheduled to perform during the festival’s headlining showcases. And there are lots more. LINK:
• The War & Treaty – endured some unexpected trauma leading up to the release of their debut album “Lover’s Game” tomorrow. Singer Michael Trotter Jr. managed to knock himself unconscious and break his leg after slipping onstage while performing at the Ryman Auditorium as part of the Rock the Ryman concert last week. LINK:
• Shania Twain – During her recent appearance on the “Kelly Clarkson Show”, she recounted her biggest-ever stage mishap. Quote: “One time my horse — I was on stage — drops a big poop. And I mean, it’s big and it’s steamy and it’s stinky, you know.” Too much info? LINK:


As you know, the English language is in a constant state of evolution. As for dating terms? Same. And with that in mind, Tinder has launched its dating dictionary to help older singles decode the “love language” used by Gen Z’ers. One term highlighted by Tinder as something those over the age of 25 may never have heard before is “cushioning.” That refers to keeping several backup relationships to soften the blow if your main one doesn’t last. “Situationship” is another addition to modern vocabulary which describes the sticky in-between status when someone is more than a hook-up, but not quite a couple. Dateview? That’s a word used to describe when a date feels more like an interview. Two more? “Kitten fishing” refers to tweaking or embellishing certain aspects of your life, appearance etc., to make yourself more appealing on dating apps. This different to catfishing, which is pretending to be someone else entirely. And “Rizz” is shorthand for charisma – you have an allure, you’re engaging, you’re basically irresistible.”
(Thanks for that! Because up till now, if someone told me they have “riz”, I’d have told them to get some penicillin!)
(That sounds like me – always the cushion, never the couch!)

Runners are often warned that they’re destroying their knees, but according to new research, they’re not more likely to develop hip or knee osteoarthritis the longer, faster and more frequently they run. 3,800 recreational runners who participated in the Chicago Marathon were asked questions like how many years they’d been running and their average paces – and whether they had family histories of arthritis. It’s widely believed, even among doctors, that using the joints more often, through a repetitive activity like running, makes the knee and hip cartilage deteriorate more quickly, upping osteoarthritis risk. But surprisingly, no association was found between an increased risk for knee or hip arthritis and the number of years someone had been running, the number of marathons completed, their weekly running mileage, nor their running pace.
(Darn! There goes THAT excuse!)
(Just playing Devil’s advocate here, but wouldn’t that be because the people who have already wrecked their knees aren’t the ones running in the Chicago Marathon?)
(I suppose at this point, I should come up with some sort of “running joke”?)

You know how it goes: You text someone, and it takes forever for them to reply. You wonder if they didn’t receive it, or maybe they’re mad at you…or maybe they’re just being rude. Well, fear not, because a therapist says she know just what you should do when someone doesn’t text you back. For starters, says UK-based Kelly Armatage, we should “never chase” — and instead practice “self-love to heal your inner child.” She says people can enter into a period of psychological turmoil and become obsessive when someone doesn’t text back, particularly a romantic interest which hasn’t been confirmed. Those who are anxiously attached or have abandonment wounds can be particularly susceptible. She says: “When you feel like this, it’s an opportunity to heal your triggers.” According to Armatage, you should soothe yourself straight after rejection by reciting affirmations. These could include: “I am lovable, I am amazing, I am good enough, I don’t want someone who isn’t present”. This helps to regulate the nervous system to bring peace and calmness. She also advises to stay away from coping mechanisms such as alcohol, and to meditate, have a bubble bath or go to a therapy session instead.
(Wow. I didn’t even consider needing to drink after someone didn’t text me back…but I sure feel like I need one after all that!)
(Or you could just try calling!)
(Or…maybe they’re driving?)

What are sports? If that question was posed to the contestants in a recent episode of “Jeopardy!”, we’re pretty sure they would have managed to get that wrong, too. On the game show last Thursday, the young trivia whizzes bombed every single clue in a category called “In the Sport.” Here are the answers that they were tasked with coming up with the “questions” for. Try them, and see how you do…
• The $1,000 clue: “Chunker, gag bit, mallet, a lot of money.” Two of the contestants offered up roulette (is that even a sport?) and horseracing. The third didn’t even try. The Answer: Polo.
• The $800 clue: “Penalty killing, plus-minus, the five-hole, ‘the biscuit’ (that’s what everyone’s chasing).” No one guessed. The Answer: Hockey.
• The $600 clue: “Eight-count, accidental butt, cutman (for said accidental butt).” Silence. The Answer: Boxing.
• The $400 clue: “Best ball, casual water, closed face, and – the absolute worst – shank” One player said: “What is water polo?” The Answer: Golf.
• The $200 clue: “Inherited runners, appeal play, pickoff.” Crickets from the contestants. The Answer:  Baseball. LINK:
(It was a sports category, and they whiffed on all 5 questions!)

A group of scientists say they believe that life has already been found on Mars. They say they’ve spotted fossilized sponges, corals, worm eggs, algae, fungi, lichen, shrimp, crabs, sea spiders, scorpions, and even a translucent millipede, on the surface of the Red Planet. Other groups of like-minded researchers have published 4 peer-reviewed papers setting out their reasoning for believing proof of life is already there, detailing the supposed existence of “fungi growing out of the ground” and “unusual specimen that may have been in a hole and two days later is outside the hole.”


• “Nametag Day”, today’s celebration of names stipulates that wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, you wear a “Hello, I’m [your name here]” nametag. In a playful mood? Rename yourself for the day, or just wear a name other than your own!
• “Barbie Day”, the anniversary of the day the world’s most successful doll was first unveiled in 1959 at NYC’s “International Toy Fair”. Since then, more than 1 billion Barbies have been sold in over 150 countries.
• “Popcorn Lovers Day”, popcorn is good for you, when eaten plain. It’s not quite so healthy when it’s loaded with salt and butter. (But all that butter and salt is why I’m eating it…)
• “Crabmeat Day”, saluting the seafood we love. How can such an ugly creature taste so good?
• “Meatball Day”, It’s not clear how it started, but who could resist the idea of celebrating National Meatball Day? (I don’t know about you, but I’m celebrating the movie “Meatballs”!)
• “Get Over It Day”, whatever it is that’s put that chip on your shoulder – a perceived slight, a public embarrassment, a failed relationship, today’s the day to get over it, and get on with your life. (And DO NOT let your next sentence start with, “I would, if only…”)
• “Panic Day”, encouraging you to indulge all of your deepest fears and let loose a rampage of unbridled hysteria. Tearing out one’s hair, shrieking like a banshee, and sobbing uncontrollably are encouraged. So, go ahead, push the panic button! (Celebrated in some areas as “Mother-in-law is Coming to Visit Day…”)
• “Amerigo Vespucci Day” [‘vuhs-POOCH-ee’], commemorating the Italian’s 1454 birth in Florence. He’s the marginally-successful explorer that a European mapmaker chose as namesake for the ‘New World’, as in ‘North Amerigo’.

[Fri] Pack Your Lunch Day
[Fri] Landline Telephone Day
[Sat] Dream Day
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time begins (North America)
This Week is…Return the Borrowed Books Week
This Month is…Frozen Food Month

1964 [59] Steve Wilkos, Chicago IL, TV host (“The Steve Wilkos Show” since 2007)/US Marine Corps vet/director of security on “The Jerry Springer Show” 1994-2007

1970 [53] Shannon Leto, Bossier City LA, alt-rock drummer (30 Seconds to Mars-‘This is War’, ‘Kings & Queens’)/brother of actor-bandmate Jared Leto

1976 [47] Ben Mulroney, Montréal QC, TV personality (“Your Morning” 2016-21, “eTalk Daily” 2002-20), “Canadian Idol” 2003-08/son of former Canadian prime minister Brian Mulroney

1979 [44] Oscar Isaac (Hernández), Estrada Guatemala, movie actor (‘Poe Dameron’ in “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, “Star Wars: The Last Jedi”)

1980 [43] Matthew Gray Gubler, Las Vegas NV, TV actor (‘Dr. Spencer Reid’ on “Criminal Minds” 2005-20)/voice actor (‘Simon’ in “Alvin and the Chipmunks” movies)

1980 [43] Chingy (Howard Bailey Jr), St Louis MO, rapper (‘Pullin’ Me Back’, ‘Right Thurr’)

1986 [37] Brittany Snow, Tampa FL, movie actress (“Pitch Perfect” movies, “Hairspray”)/TV actress (“Guiding Light”1998-2001)

1987 [36] Bow Wow (Shad Moss), Columbus OH, TV actor (‘Baby Face’ on “CSI: Cyber” 2015-2016/movie actor (“The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift”)/rapper (‘Shortie Like Mine’)

2000 [23] Khaby Lame, Dakar Senegal, social media personality (the most-followed TikTok user, with 155 million, known for his “hack” videos, in which he shows people taking an exceptional amount of time to complete a really simple task. Also known for his “deadpan” facial expression) LINK:

1996 [27] Legendary comedian George Burns dies at age 100

2021 [02] TV host Piers Morgan leaves ITV’s “Good Morning Britain” after 57,000 complaints about him saying he did not believe Meghan, Duchess of Sussex’s statement about her mental health (Currently hosting “Piers Morgan Uncensored” in UK, Australia and the US)

1997 [26] New York rapper Biggie Smalls (The Notorious B.I.G.) is gunned down in Los Angeles, 6 months after his rival Tupac Shakur met the same fate

2004 [19] 63-year-old Tom Jones is banned from wearing tight leather pants by his manager-son Mark, who insists he “dress his age”

2007 [16] Singer-guitarist Brad Delp of the rock group Boston dies in Atkinson NH of suicide at age 55

1964 [59] The first Ford Mustang is manufactured (it goes on to become a classic collectible)


✓ ‘Yoda’ was partly modeled on a photo of Albert Einstein.
✓ The odds of getting a hole-in-one in golf are estimated at about 18,000-to-1.
✓ Ninjas don’t wear black. Traditional ninjas know the importance of blending in, so they usually disguise themselves as civilians.
✓ Leather products like handbags or shoes can be polished with the inside of a banana skin.
✓ Nearly every brand of hard liquor is vegan.
✓ A 2010 study found that people fluent in multiple languages almost always swear in their native tongue.
-MentalFloss, TheFactSite

Best of BS . . .
• The nose is in the middle of your face because it’s the “scenter”.
• 90% of candles on Etsy are made from ear wax.
• All nudes are sexy.
• It’s no coincidence that the ring finger is next to the middle finger.
• Kim Kardashian has a real one.
• If you don’t like the body you have, it can be returned for a full refund.
• John Mayer wrote ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ after seeing me near-naked in a Kmart changeroom.
• The guy who said we only use 10% of our brains was using 11% of his brain when he said it.
• (***Caution***) Size doesn’t matter.
• (***Caution***) If you sneeze and fart at the same time, your body takes a screenshot.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2022

• Don’t be surprised to find seafood and bait in the same store. Do not buy food in this store.
• Remember, “ya’ll” is singular, “all ya’ll” is plural, and “all ya’ll’s” is plural possessive.
• “Ya’ll oughta not do that!” is the equivalent of saying “No!”
• Get used to hearing “You ain’t from ‘round here, are ya’ll?”
• Don’t be worried about not understanding what people are saying. They can’t understand you either.
• If it falls below 60 degrees, you can easily spot other Canadians because they’re the ones who are also not wearing winter jackets.
• Be advised that “He needed killin’!” is a valid legal defence down there.
-First published in BS in 2000

Whitney Vanilli (sound up):

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

What will you never, ever buy used?

Question:  More than two-thirds of corporate executives admit they are dishonest about THIS. What Is it?
Answer:  Their golf score

Work and you’ll get what you need; work harder and you’ll get what you want.


Leave a comment