Wednesday, March 8, 2023 – Edition: #7433
If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
[***UPDATE***] Nick Cannon is not having his 13th baby just yet, after all. The father of 12 took to Instagram on Monday to write: “Expect some big news tomorrow”, followed by the ‘googly eyes’ and ‘baby bottle’ emojis. That prompted many fans to believe he might be announcing baby #13 is on the way. Ah, but that’s not the case. Tuesday, Cannon announced that he’ll be starring in a new show titled “Who’s Having My Baby?”, hosted by Kevin Hart. In a short promo vid for the E! game show that was shared by Cannon on Instagram yesterday, Hart explains: “You’re going to get some contestants that want to have your baby”. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ykhshpp9
★ James Cameron’s “Avatar: The Way of Water” broke box office records when it was released at Christmas, and after months at the theater, it is finally hitting home video — with 3 hours of bonus features. The movie will be available for purchase from all major digital retailers (including Prime Video, and Apple TV) beginning March 28. Unlike other blockbusters, The Way of Water will premiere on digital retailers before streaming or physical media. But don’t worry, this digital edition will be worth it. Among the extras will be features that chart the evolution and production of the groundbreaking blockbuster, delving into the the intricacies of Pandora’s habitats, along with the blood, sweat and tears that went into its actualization.
★ Elon Musk will be the center of a new documentary from Alex Gibney, the Oscar-winning director of “Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief.” Already months into production, Gibney announced the project Monday, saying he’s “hugely excited”. It is described as a “definitive and unvarnished examination of multi-billionaire tech entrepreneur and CEO of Tesla, SpaceX and Twitter.” Gibney’s additional credits include “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room” and “Steve Jobs: The Man in the Machine.”
★ Keanu Reeves has always wanted to play ‘Wolverine’. Taking part in a Reddit ‘Ask Me Anything’ session, Reeves was asked if he regretted rejecting any roles, and he replied: “No, but I did always want to play Wolverine.” Reeves has experience in comic book films after starring in the 2005 DC flick “Constantine”, a role he is set to reprise in an upcoming sequel. As for what his favorite film of his career is, Reeves responded: “Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! …I’ve been very fortunate to work on a few films that have changed my life. I can’t pick just one.” He went on to mention A few, including “River’s Edge”, “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”, the “Matrix” trilogy, “Point Break”, and “John Wick”.
★ Will Smith is still intent on repairing his relationship with Chris Rock, according People. A year after the infamous incident at the 94th Academy Awards, the magazine quotes a source as saying that Smith has “felt terrible for so long” about smacking Rock at the Oscars. Quote: “He’s tried unsuccessfully to make amends in the best way he could…But beyond that, family is important to him and [Smith] leaned on them” in the aftermath of the incident, which “helped him look inside and mature. He is better but still remorseful.” People’s insider says that Smith “listened to those who tried to help him and feels that he has become a better person.” (In other words, Rock told him to take a hike!)
★ CBS may be ending “The Late Late Show” later this year, and possibly replacing it with a reboot of “@Midnight”. James Corden announced last year that he will be leaving The Late Late Show at the end of its current season to move back to the UK, and CBS has yet to announce a replacement host, but according to a report, they may not be hosting the same show. @Midnight was a Comedy Central late-night show hosted by Chris Hardwick that aired 2013-17, and it may be getting a revival on CBS.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Courteney Cox, Ike Barinholtz (R)
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kerry Washington, St. Vincent
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Idris Elba, F. Murray Abraham
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Nick Kroll, Zoë Chao, Zara Larsson, Urian Hackney
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Matthew Rhys, Greg Barris
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Lisa Vanderpump
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Hayden Panettiere, Sarah Ferguson
• “The Daily Show” (COM): Guest host Marlon Wayans
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Idris Elba, Padma Lakshmi
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Sally Field, Rita Moreno (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Riley Keough, Sam Claflin, Camila Morrone, Josh Whitehouse, Suki Waterhouse, Sebastion Chacon
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Gabrielle Union, Sam Jay
• “Survivor” (CBS): Tribes must snake their way toward the win for immunity; paranoia starts to set in over a looming suspicion; lines are drawn in the sand at tribal council.
• “The Masked Singer” (Fox): Three new singers enter and celebrate their favorite DC superheroes in costume; 2 singers are unmasked.
• “Farmer Wants a Wife” (Fox): Series premiere. Meeting the 4 farmers looking for love in the heartland.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Miley Cyrus, Shania Twain and Mariah Carey – Their songs are featured in newly added Apple Fitness+ workouts. In honor of Women’s History Month, they are being highlighted as part of the program’s Artist Spotlight series.
• Adele – Friday, she signed a bride’s wedding dress. During her show in Vegas, the singer let out a scream of delight at the sight of the newlyweds, who came to the concert right after their wedding ceremony. While singing, Adele autographed the dress before moving on through the audience.
• U2, The Rolling Stones, The Killers and Pink – are among the stars reported to have been asked to perform at a Live Aid-style concert in support of Ukraine at London’s Wembley Stadium on June 24. The Sun reports that Paul McCartney, Adele, Florence and the Machine and Noel Gallagher will also be asked.
• Lionel Richie — In perhaps one of the most perfectly titled tour packages in recent memory, he and Earth, Wind & Fire will join forces for the “Sing A Song All Night Long” tour. The 20-show US tour begins Aug. 4 in St Paul MN, and includes 3 Canadian dates.
• Lenny Kravitz — will take the stage at the Oscars on March 12 to perform during the ‘In Memoriam’ segment. He joins previously announced performer Rihanna, who will sing the Best Original Song-nominated tune ‘Lift Me Up’.
• Gary Glitter — A documentary series about the disgraced 1970s British pop star is in the works at Netflix. The 3-part series, with the working title “Hunting Gary Glitter,” will cover his life story and later conviction for a series of sexual offences.
• Sam Hunt — has announced his “Summer on the Outskirts Tour”, a 27-stop string of shows launching July 6 in Hartford CT, and running into Sept. He’ll also drop the new song ‘Outskirts’ this Friday, the same day tour tickets go on sale. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3xdameax
• Scotty McCreery — raised more than $30,000 for the East Texas Food Bank with his “Good for Country” concert in Lufkin TX on Saturday. The event attracted a sold-out crowd of 4,500.
• Morgan Wallen – With 52.29 million streams on Friday, Spotify said his new album “One Thing at a Time” set the record as the service’s most-streamed country album in a single day by a male artist. It is also the largest streaming debut of any genre on Spotify this year.
SHOOTING THE BULL
REVERSE EMOJI PSHCHOLOGY:
Sure, when someone sends you a text with a whole bunch of emojis in it, it usually SEEMS as though they are a happy, bubbly person. But that’s not necessarily the case. A new study out of the University of Tokyo says that people use emojis to hide how they really feel, just as much as they use them to express themselves. In an experiment involving 1,300 Gen-Z females, it was found that happy emojis were often used to mask negative emotions and to make a message seem more positive. More negative emojis, such the “sad face”, were only used when the participant felt very strong negative feelings. People were most likely to use positive emojis when they’re feeling negative emotions or when communicating with people of higher status.
(Well, it’s not like you’re going to use the “poop” emoji if you’re texting someone of “higher status”, are you?)
(The real message here is this: If your boss is a 25-year-old female, and she ever has to fire you, there are going to be a lot of “smiley-face” emojis involved!)
FOUND ON ROAD DEACTIVATED:
Automaker Ford has filed a patent application for a device that could lock owners out of their cars if they miss payments. The patent describes how the internet operates, the network connected to your car, and according to Vice, potential scenarios – including how a lending bank or institution could use an app or infotainment system to bring up your late payments. From there, the car could start having features disabled like the radio, or GPS, until payment is brought up to date. The car could “escalate” to shutting down the A/C, automatic locks, or even not operating during times of the day that the vehicle is not needed for work (in order to still allow you to make money, so you can pay). The car could make a loud buzz or other noise that would make driving the vehicle unpleasant, all before finally just locking you out of the car. From there, the car could end up helping in its own repossession, possibly even moving autonomously to an area where it would be easier to tow. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ycy93ey5
(Yeah, I don’t know if I’d advertise this “feature” if I were them…!)
(So, if you’re broke, your car is too?)
“EXHAUSTING” YOUR OPTIONS:
This might ring very true for parents: Only 14% of parents feel they get enough “parenting breaks” every day. Hear that “ringing” yet? A recent survey of 2,000 US parents with school-age children (ages 5–18) found that sometimes, they feel they need to get creative in order to take a break – and that can include hiding in the bathroom (40%) or pretending to be asleep (34%). More conventionally, 59% of parents say they sometimes get help from their own parents when they need to rest and recharge. And what are the “must-haves” when it comes to taking care of young ones? Respondents to the poll put snacks at #1 (57%), followed, in order, by toys (56%), wet wipes (55%) and arts and crafts supplies (55%).
(Wow – looking at that list of parenting must-haves, I just realized why my wife calls me her “other kid”!)
(Pro tip: Want to know what’s better than hiding in the bathroom when you need a break from your kids? Hiding in the bathroom – with snacks!)
Recently a Redditor asked: “What’s something ancient that only an internet veteran would remember?” Here are some of the awesome answers:
➢ “Having a ‘computer room.'”
➢ “The (Oogachaka) Dancing Baby” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4awa6vk4
➢ “Netscape” (No kidding!)
➢ “Getting booted off the internet when someone in the other room picked up the phone.”
➢ “Ask Jeeves”
➢ “Discussion boards for specific topics. (And not aggregated under the same website like Reddit.) …I met a lot of cool people, some of which I’m still in contact with a good decade and a half later.”
➢ “An internet that didn’t have any advertising.”
➢ “I remember when Amazon was just an online bookstore.”
➢ “The hit counter on the bottom of webpages that told you how many people had visited the page.”
➢ “The Napster and Lars Ulrich (Metallica) drama.”
➢ “How about: the sound of dialup??”
(You MUST have something else to add….like “ICQ”?)
DID YOU KNOW?
Today is “Be Nasty Day”, and according to a new study, it doesn’t hurt to be a little mean if you’re looking to save more money. Why? Because nice people finish last when it comes to managing their finances, since they don’t value it as much. Researchers from Columbia University found that that those who are more agreeable are the least likely to save money, because they prioritize hanging out with people over material wealth. Meanwhile, highly conscientious people may be more motivated to plan for the future and save funds.
BS CHRONOMETER 03.08.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Women’s Day”, first suggested at a 1910 women’s conference in Copenhagen by activist Clara Zetkin. The first “IWD” was observed in Germany the next year. This year’s theme is #EmbraceEquity. LINK: http://www.internationalwomensday.com
• “Discover What Your Name Means Day”, a part of “Celebrate Your Name Week”, it’s a day to learn what your name and the names of others mean. The day can also be used to give your name its own meaning—one that reflects who you are. (I think my neighbors already did!)
• “Proofreading Day”, to promote accuracy in written messages. If you hate typos and grammatical errors, thIs iZ yer dayb (What grammatical error drives you bonkers? When someone uses an apostrophe to mean plural, it makes me want to bite a wall…)
• “Be Nasty Day”, If ever there was a holiday or observance to NOT participate in, it’s Be Nasty Day! On this day, we all have an excuse to be rude, mean, spiteful, or difficult to be around. (It isn’t known who created this, but what a nasty thing to do!)
• “Registered Dietitian Day”, the 16th annual observance commemorating the dedication of RDs as advocates who advance our nutritional status.
• “Girls Write Now Day”, celebrating girls and girl writers, and encouraging girls of all ages everywhere to “put pen to paper and explore the beauty and power of their unique, creative voices.”
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] False Teeth Day
[Thurs] Get Over It Day
[Fri] International Bagpipe Day
[Sat] Fanny Pack Day
This Week is…Professional Pet Sitters Week
This Month is…International Mirth Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945  (George) “Micky” Dolenz, Los Angeles CA, pop singer/drummer (The Monkees-‘I’m a Believer’, ‘Last Train to Clarksville’)/TV actor (“The Monkees” 1966-68)/last surviving member of The Monkees
1958  Gary Numan (Webb), London England, new wave singer (‘Cars’)
1959  Aidan Quinn, Chicago IL, TV actor (“Elementary” 2012-19)/movie actor (“Legends of the Fall”)
1959  Lester Holt, Marin County CA, journalist/news anchor (“Dateline NBC” since 2011, “NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt” since 2015)
1961  (Debra) Camryn Manheim, Caldwell NJ, TV actress (“Law & Order” since 2022, “The Practice” 1997-2004, “Ghost Whisperer” 2006-10)
1976  Freddie Prinze Jr., Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“She’s All That”, “Scooby-Doo”)/TV actor (“Punky Brewster” 2021)/married to Sarah Michelle Gellar since 2002
1977  James Van Der Beek, Cheshire CT, TV actor (“Don’t Trust the B–– In Apartment 23” 2012-13, “Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)
1982  Kat Von D (Katherine von Drachenberg), Monterrey Mexico, tattoo artist/reality TV star (“LA Ink” 2007-11, “Miami Ink” 2005-06)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1993  “Beavis and Butt-Head”, a show about 2 animated idiots who watch MTV, debuts on MTV (A second spin-off movie was released last year on Paramount+)
2003  The singing competition show “Nashville Star” debuts on USA Network (Miranda Lambert finishes 3rd on Season 1)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2003  50 Cent’s first single, ‘In Da Club’, tops the chart for the first of 9 weeks
2016  AC/DC postpones the remainder of its US tour after singer Brian Johnson is warned he’ll go deaf if he continues (Axl Rose eventually takes over to complete the gigs)
2016  Legendary record producer Sir George Martin (The Beatles) dies at age 90
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1969  ‘Happy Birthday’ becomes the first song performed in outer space when Apollo IX astronauts sing it to celebrate the birthday of the director of NASA space operations, Christopher Kraft
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Laughter synchronizes the brains of both speaker and listener so that they become emotionally attuned.
✓ Eating garlic improves your body odor.
✓ A woodpecker’s tongue wraps around its brain to protect it during high-speed pecking.
✓ Although Saturn is the second-largest planet in our solar system, it is also the lightest.
✓ The tallest volcano on Mars is 17 miles (27.3km) high – 84 times taller than the Eiffel Tower.
✓ Russian President Vladmir Putin once tried to sue Harry Potter filmmakers because he believed the bald, floppy-eared, pointy-nosed, bug-eyed character ‘Dobby’ the house-elf was based on him. (No kidding: https://tinyurl.com/3xutfvbr )
Best of BS . . .
DUMB ACCOUNTANT TAX TIPS:
• Hire yourself as an employee, fire yourself, sue yourself for discrimination, deduct court costs.
• Report $1 billion income, so the tax people think you’re some sort of big shot.
• Answer every question “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
• Hide all money in mattress, but on tax return write “No money hidden in mattress.”
• If you’ve just eaten, don’t do taxes for at least a half-hour.
• For ‘Charitable Contributions,’ list the $28 you spent on the last Nicolas Cage movie.
• To distract the auditor, attach a photo of yourself naked.
• Round every figure off to ‘umpteen’.
• Check off the box for ‘Joint Filing’, then light one up.
-First published in BS in 2013
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ KellyAnne and George Conway have filed for divorce. It’s always sad when beloved celebrities split. (Which is why I’m not sad…)
➠ KellyAnne and George Conway have filed for divorce. (In a statement, KellyAnne said that she really needs some time alone, with just family, her thoughts, and 200 TV cameras…)
➠ Major League Baseball spring training games are underway. (My team is gonna be HORRIBLE. They’re so bad, they sold their TV rights to Comedy Central…)
➠ I just read that using social media can hurt a student’s chance to be accepted into some colleges. (Unless the school offers a degree in “duckface…”)
➠ A study claims that those who are divorced are about 25% more likely to die early than those who are married. (I’ll take those odds. Wait! …did I say that out loud??)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Me chasing career goals: https://tinyurl.com/2ayk29jr
BS RANDOM JOKE:
There are two types of people in the world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data…
BS ACRONYM QUIZ:
(Give the contestant the clue, let them guess what it is a common abbreviation of…)
• ATM [Automated Teller Machine]
• FYI [For Your Information]
• ASAP [As Soon As Possible]
• EOD [End of Day]
• FAQ [Frequently Asked Questions]
• OCD [Obsessive Compulsive Disorder]
• NATO [North Atlantic Treaty Organization]
• WHO [World Health Organization]
• GIF [Graphics Interchange Format]
• RSVP [Repondez, S’il Vous Plait]
BS PHONE STARTER:
What celeb do you feel as though you know, even though you’ve never met them?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: If you’re average, you do THIS 3 times a day. What is it?
Answer: Tie your shoes
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
To be successful, you must accept all challenges that come your way – not just the ones you like.