Friday, March 13, 2020 – Edition: #6654
Hey! New Sheets!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Some celebrities just aren’t taking chances when it comes to protecting themselves amid the coronavirus outbreak. Howie Mandel showed up to work on the set of “America’s Got Talent” in a full hazmat suit, with gloves, a mask and breathing tube. Mandel, who is a notorious germaphobe, took off his ball cap to pose for photographers outside the studio. And maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, fellow judge Heidi Klum left the set on Tuesday after falling ill. She missed the taping, leaving just three judges for the live show, including Simon Cowell and Sofia Vergara.
-Yahoo
★ Michael Strahan is accusing his ex-wife Jean of abusing their teenage daughters and wants her custody stripped. He claims Jean has exhibited a “pattern of abusive conduct towards the children for years” and plans to provide details to the court in private. Michael Strahan accuses his ex-wife of being a bad parent by not taking their kids to court-ordered therapy or making it to their volleyball games or horse-riding events. He currently has visitation rights and the girls live with their mother in North Carolina. He is asking the court to award him primary custody and have his kids move to New York to live with him.
-TheBlast
★ “The View” and “Live With Kelly and Ryan” are among the shows set to go audience-free amid the coronavirus outbreak. “Good Morning America,” “Strahan, Sara and Keke” and “Tamron Hall” have also joined the list. In a statement, a Walt Disney Television spokesperson said: “Given the current developing situation in New York City, we have made the decision to suspend live audiences from attending our news broadcasts and talk shows.” It was announced earlier in the week that California-based game shows “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune” would temporarily ban studio audiences due to the coronavirus outbreak.
-MSN
★ Mark Wahlberg has emerged as the favorite to take over the lead role in a planned “G.I. Joe” reboot. Paramount Pictures executives are revamping the franchise once more, and they are reportedly keen to have Wahlberg portray soldier Conrad S. Hauser. Few details are known about the next G.I. Joe project, tentatively titled “G.I. Joe: Ever Vigilant”, but it’s believed ‘Snake Eyes’, another character from Hasbro’s line of action figures, will also be featured.
-Canoe
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Ben Affleck, Justina Machado, Victoria Monét (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ice Cube, Andrew Rannells, Brittany Howard
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Oliver, Elizabeth Debicki, Jenny Offill, Glen Sobel (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Cynthia Erivo, Ashton Kutcher, BTS (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Martha MacCallum, Adam Glassman
• “The Talk” (CBS): Peter Gallagher, guest co-host Taye Diggs
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ariel Winter, Dave “Lil Dicky” Burd
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Annette Bening, guest host Sean Hayes
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Vin Diesel, Folake Olowofoyeku
SATURDAY-
• “More Funny Women of a Certain Age” (SHOWTIME): Caroline Rhea headlines a cast of women for a night of uninhibited stand-up comedy; featuring Carol Leifer, Tammy Pescatelli, Thea Vidale, Carole Montgomery, and Julia Scotti.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Kristen Stewart with musical guest Coldplay
SUNDAY-
• ***UPDATE: CANCELLED****”The Juno Awards of 2020″ (CBC): The 49th edition of the Juno Awards live from Saskatoon, SK with host Alessia Cara. Performers include Daniel Caesar, The Glorious Sons and Lennon Stella. Jann Arden will be inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame.
• “American Idol” (ABC): Auditions in Savannah, Ga., Milwaukee, Washington, D.C., Los Angeles and Sunriver, Ore. come to an end.
• “The Wall” (NBC): Season 3 premiere. Married couple Chris and Rebekah take on the Wall; Rebekah is lost a leg in the Boston Marathon bombing and vows to do everything she could have done on two legs on one, including winning millions of dollars.
• “Westworld” (HBO): Season 3 premiere. The series leaves the theme park for a future Los Angeles and finds Aaron Paul, Lena Waithe, Kid Cudi, Vincent Cassel, Michael Ealy, John Gallagher Jr., Tommy Flanagan, and NFL star Marshawn Lynch joining the cast.
• ***UPDATE: CANCELLED***“NCAA March Madness” (CBS): Selection Sunday
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Timberlake – says that he once ”accidentally broke into” Alcatraz prison. In 2000 he was filming a music video with ’NSYNC near Alcatraz Island, when he and bandmate Joey Fatone snuck into a guided tour of the prison. They were eventually caught, and ”They let us go away with a warning, and obviously we had to pay for the tickets.”
• Taylor Swift – almost landed a cameo appearance in “The Vampire Diaries”. Star Nina Dobrev says that Swift was such a big fan of The CW vampire show that network bosses approached her for a small role in an episode, but filming wouldn’t fit with her schedule.
• ***UPDATE: JUNOS CANCELLED****Felix Cartal – is among those added to the list of Juno Award presenters for the ceremony this Sunday. Also presenting: Dallas Smith, Emma Hunter (Fridge Wars, Mr. D), Ewan Currie (The Sheepdogs), Jonny Harris (Still Standing, Murdoch Mysteries), and Minister of Canadian Heritage Steven Guilbeault.
• Michael Bolton – could have been Black Sabbath’s singer. Guitarist Tony Iommi recently said in an interview that in the early 1980s, Bolton auditioned to fill the group’s vacant lead singer slot.
• Foo Fighters — Dave Grohl says that the band have completed work on their 10th studio album. He added that he is “so f-ing proud” of the record and “It’s unlike anything we’ve ever done.” No release date has been announced.
• The Beatles – “The Beatles: Get Back”, Peter Jackson’s eagerly awaited documentary on the band during its final year, will be released in theaters on September 4. Culled from 55 hours of footage shot in 1969, it includes behind-the-scenes clips from the band’s legendary rooftop concert in London.
• Keith Urban – He and Miranda Lambert are among the first round of performers announced for the 2020 ACM Awards. Also performing: Lindsay Ell, Caylee Hammack, Elle King, Ashley McBryde and Tenille Townes, who will perform with Lambert as an ensemble.
• Margo Price – has dropped the scorching new single ‘Twinkle Twinkle’. Her third album, “That’s How Rumors Get Started”, will come out on May 8.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Bloodshot” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): Ray Garrison, is a soldier recently killed in action and brought back to life as the superhero ‘Bloodshot’ by the RST corporation. But the company has sway over his mind and memories. Ray doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not — but he’s on a mission to find out. (Vin Diesel, Eiza González)
• “The Hunt” (R-Rated, Action/Horror): Twelve strangers wake up in a clearing. They don’t know where they are, or how they got there. They don’t know they’ve been chosen for a very specific purpose – The Hunt. (Betty Gilpin, Hilary Swank)
• “I Still Believe” (PG, Drama–Limited Release): The true life story of Christian music star Jeremy Camp and his journey of love and loss. (Britt Robertson, K.J. Apa)
• “Big Time Adolescence” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama–Limited Release): A seemingly bright and mostly innocent 16-year-old named Mo attempts to navigate high school under the guidance of his best friend Zeke, an unmotivated-yet-charismatic college dropout. (Pete Davidson, Griffin Gluck)
NOT A WHOLE LOTTA SHAKIN’ GOIN’ ON:
Now that the deadly coronavirus is a certifiable pandemic, many are seeking ways to politely decline the invitation to shake hands. In the weeks since the virus’ outbreak, people have come up with all kinds of ways to avoid germ-laden handshakes and other physical contact. Some have initiated an intricate foot-to-foot greeting known as the “Wuhan Shake.” The head of the World Health Organization recommends solemnly placing one’s hand on one’s chest to signify that you’d prefer not to shake hands. Others are suggesting the “elbow bump”. Myka Meier, founder of NYC-based Beaumont Etiquette has two alternatives: “Stop, Drop and Nod” involves a pause, then clasping your hands behind your back and nodding in acknowledgement. Or the “Grasp and Greet,” which involves folding your hands together in front of yourself and mouthing or saying “hello”. And some experts say that if someone reaches out to shake your hand, you can simply say, “I’m going handshake-free to be extra careful”, which shows that you are being considerate of others’ well-being.
(What you DON’T want to say is “I don’t want to spread germs” – unless you’d like to clear the room!)
(Just sneeze into your hand. Problem solved…)
(I’ve been avoiding handshakes ever since I heard there’s a toilet paper shortage!)
-NYPost
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A Slidell, LA police officer thought he had heard every excuse in the book until he pulled over a motorist who was driving with an expired license plate sticker – a VERY expired sticker. When he questioned the driver why he had a tag with an expiry date of September, 1997 affixed to his plate, the man told him: “I’ve been busy lately.” (Just a hunch, but I don’t think this guy is going to pay the fine on time…)
➢ A drunk university student trying to get home from a night out woke up in an Uber 250 miles (402km) away from his destination with a $1,700 bill. Engineering major “James” says that he got in the car in Newcastle, U.K., and accidentally typed a Norwich address into the app. He slept through most of the five-hour trip. The bill ended up being 1,307.64 pounds, but when the driver figured out what happened, he decided not to charge him. James gave him a five-star rating and then got on a train home. Unfortunately, he was fined for not having a train ticket and missed his classes the next day. (He would have made it back on time if he didn’t keep asking the conductor to pull over so he could be sick…)
-NYPost
DID YOU KNOW?
According to a survey of 2,000 adults who live with their romantic partners, outside of sleeping, the average couple spends just four hours per day in the same room. The main reasons for this, according to the survey, were conflicting work hours, differing interests, and different bedtimes. (And I’m not allowed in the room when “The Bachelor” is on…)
-StudyFinds
BS CHRONOMETER 03.13.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [70] William H Macy, Miami FL, movie actor “Fargo”, (“Boogie Nights”)/TV actor (“Shameless” since 2011)/wed to actress Felicity Huffman since 1997
1956 [64] Dana Delaney, NYC, TV actress (“Hand of God” 2014-17, “Desperate Housewives” 2007-12, “China Beach” 1988-91)
1960 [60] Adam Clayton, Chinnor UK, rock bassist (U2-‘With or Without You’, ‘Beautiful Day’)
1972 [48] Common (Lonnie Lynn Jr), Chicago IL, rapper (‘Glory’, ‘One-Nine-Nine-Nine’)/TV actor (“Hell on Wheels” 2011-14)/movie actor (“John Wick: Chapter 2”, “American Gangster”)
1976 [44] Danny Masterson, Albertson NY, TV actor (“The Ranch” 2016-2018, “That 70’s Show” 1998-2006) COMING UP…“Killing Winston Jones”
1985 [35] Emile Hirsch, Topanga CA, movie actor (“Milk”, “Into the Wild”) COMING UP…”Force of Nature”, 2020
SATURDAY- (Sir) Michael Caine (“Kingsman: The Secret Service”) is 87; Music producer Quincy Jones is 87; Billy Crystal (“When Harry Met Sally”) is 72; Disc jockey “Rick” Dees is 69; Jamie Bell (“Fantastic Four”) is 34; Steph Curry (Golden State Warriors) is 32; Este Haim (Haim) is 34; Ansel Elgort (“Baby Driver”) is 26
SUNDAY- Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 87; David Cronenberg (“The Fly”) is 77; Dee Snider (Twisted Sister) is 65; Bret Michaels (Poison) is 57; Mark McGrath (Sugar Ray) is 52; Eva Longoria (“Desperate Housewives”) is 45; will.i.am [William Adams Jr](Black Eyed Peas) is 45; Kellan Lutz (“Twilight”) is 35
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Friday the 13th”, a bad day for those who suffer ‘triskaidekaphobia’ – fear of number 13, or ‘paraskevidekatriaphobia’ — fear of Friday the 13th. Every year has at least 1, but never more than 3.
• “Earmuffs Day”, celebrating the first ‘Earmuffs’ patent by Chester Greenwood of Farmington, Maine on this day in 1877.
• “K-9 Veterans Day”, honoring all dogs who have served in the military. The US Army launched its ‘K-9 Corps’ 78 years ago today (1942).
• “Open an Umbrella Indoors Day”, when celebrants are encouraged to challenge the old superstition and note whether any bad luck befalls them. The superstition can be traced to the 11th century BC.
• “Ken Day”, celebrates the Ken doll, whose full name is Kenneth Carson. He was named after Ken Handler, the son of Ruth and Elliot Handler. Ruth and Elliot were two of the founders of Mattel, and it was Ruth who invented the Barbie Doll. Barbie was named after the Handler’s daughter Barbara (Barbie Day was March 9).
• “Good Samaritan Day”, on this date in 1964, Queens NY bar manager Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death while 38 people looked the other way, claiming they didn’t want to get involved. Since then at least 5 states, including Massachusetts, Minnesota, Rhode Island, Vermont & New Jersey, have introduced ‘Good Samaritan’ laws, making it a punishable offense to witness a violent crime and not report it to the police ASAP.
• “Donald Duck Day”, marking the cartoon character’s debut on this day in 1934 as a bit player in the Walt Disney cartoon “The Little Wise Hen”. Donald Duck is the most published comic book character in the world outside of the superhero genre.
SATURDAY-
• “International Ask a Question Day”, an annual observance with the goal of improving our knowledge and lives by asking more and better questions. Such as …
– If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
– If an ambulance is on its way to save someone and it runs over someone else, does it stop to help?
– What do you say when someone says you’re in denial, but you’re not?
– How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
• “Potato Chip Day”, honoring North America’s favorite snack food. It was invented by chef George Crum on this day in 1853 at a resort in Saratoga Springs NY after an uppity diner complained the potato slices were too thick. (That’s right – his name was ‘Crum’!)
• “World Pi Day”, as in March 14 or 3/14 or 3.14 … get it? It honors the magic number for circles that expresses the ratio between radius and circumference.
• “Genius Day”, celebrated annually on the anniversary of the 1879 birth of Albert Einstein. It was Einstein who said, “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”
SUNDAY-
• “Ides of March”, when Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. It’s also the tongue-in-cheek observance “National Brutus Day”, recognizing the fact that no matter where you work, there’s as much backstabbing, plotting, and intrigue as there was in ancient Rome. The word ‘ides’ simply means ‘middle’. There’s nothing unlucky about it … unless you’re Caesar.
• “International Day Against Police Brutality”, begun in 1997 as an initiative of the Montréal-based “Collective Opposed to Police Brutality” and the “Black Flag” group in Switzerland.
• “True Confessions Day”, They say confession is good for the soul, so go ahead and spill (***See “BS Phone Starter, below***)
• “World Contact Day”, first declared March 15, 1953 by the “International Flying Saucer Bureau”. Today, UFO contact groups will once again unite to collectively try and make peaceful contact with extraterrestrial beings. Hello? Anybody there?
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [14] Isaac Hayes (‘Chef’) quits the TV series “South Park” after an episode mocks his religion, Scientology
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [14] Black Sabbath, Blondie, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Miles Davis and The Sex Pistols are inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. The Sex Pistols refuse to attend the ceremony and turn down the induction (Which is a thoroughly punk-rock thing to do).
2007 [13] Amy Winehouse’s second album, “Back to Black”, is released (goes on to win 5 Grammy Awards)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1987 [33] Bryan Adams’ ‘Heat Of the Night’ becomes the first-ever “cassette single” (Also the last?)
2013 [07] Pope Francis is elected in the papal conclave to succeed Pope Benedict XVI
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2012 [08] 25-year-old Dallas Seavey becomes the youngest-ever winner of the Iditarod sled dog race in Alaska
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ In France, a “” is a professional 14th guest hired for occasions with only 13 guests in attendance, to avoid bad luck.
✓ In 1970, Apollo 13, the 13th mission launched from pad #39 (13 x 3), mission was aborted after an explosion. The rocket had left launching pad at 13:13 CST and the date was April 13th.
✓ The Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, were born on Friday the 13th (June 13, 1986).
✓ Taylor Swift was born on Dec 13th, her lucky number’s 13, she turned 13 on a Friday the 13th, and she turned 24 on Friday December 13, 2013.
✓ Tupac Shakur died on Friday 13th in September of 1996.
✓ If you watch “Friday the 13th backwards”, Jason revives dead people with a magic machete.
-Jokes4Us
Best of BS . . .
BS OTHER UNLUCKY THINGS BESIDES FRIDAY THE 13TH:
✗ If you break a mirror, you are doomed to 7 years of bad shaves.
✗ Throwing spilled salt over your shoulder … into the face of a Hell’s Angels biker.
✗ Receiving a surprise note from your crush … that turns out to be a restraining order.
✗ Getting a hotel room on the 14th floor … because you know it’s not really.
✗ Accidentally putting your contacts in … with Super Glue.
✗ Getting out of bed on the opposite side you got into it … where there’s a wall.
✗ Opening an umbrella in your pants.
✗ Donating your jeans to a thrift store … then realizing there was $20 in the pocket.
✗ Walking under a black cat.
✗ Texting ‘LMAO’ and your ass actually falls off.
-First published in BS in 2017
BS BEFORE AND AFTER MARRIAGE:
• BEFORE – You take my breath away./AFTER – I feel like I’m suffocating.
• BEFORE – She loves the way I take control of a situation./AFTER – She calls me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.
• BEFORE – Saturday Night Fever./AFTER – Monday Night Football.
• BEFORE – Don’t stop./AFTER – Don’t start.
• BEFORE – Is that all you’re having?/AFTER – Maybe you should have just a salad, Honey.
• BEFORE – $60/doz./AFTER – $1.50/stem
• BEFORE – Victoria’s Secret./AFTER – Fruit-of-the-Loom
• BEFORE – He’s completely lost without me./AFTER – Why won’t he ever ask for directions?
• BEFORE – Time stood still./AFTER – This relationship is going nowhere.
• BEFORE – Oysters./AFTER – Fishsticks.
• BEFORE – I can hardly believe we found each other./AFTER – I can’t believe I ended up with someone like you.
• BEFORE – Passion./AFTER – Ration
• BEFORE – Once upon a time./AFTER – The end.
-Poddy’s, first published in BS in 2019
BS WEB GOODIE:
Happy Friday the 13th: https://tinyurl.com/vvkrlxs
BS PHONE STARTER:
Confession time – What would you like to get off your chest today?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Today is Friday the 13th. According to a survey, THIS is the most common good luck charm. What is it?
Answer: A pair of lucky socks
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Play the game for more than you can afford to lose. Only then will you learn the game.
