March 2 2022

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Wednesday, March 2, 2022 – Edition: #7179

Sheet For Brains!

★ Ukraine-born former “Dancing With the Stars” pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy was arrested and released in his home country during the ongoing Russian invasion, and is now making plans to leave Kyiv. In a 5-minute video posted to his Instagram account, Chmerkovsky described his arrest, saying: “That was probably the least traumatizing moment in this whole thing as far as Ukraine is concerned, but for me it was just a reality check . . . a crazy reality check.” He did not provide additional details, except to say “All good, promise.” LINK:
★ Peacock is officially stirring the pot! A TikTok user had fans of “The Office” in a tizzy after revealing that the recipe for “Kevin’s Famous Chili” is buried within the terms and conditions of the comedy series’ exclusive streaming home — Peacock. A video detailing the Easter egg currently boasts over 131,000 views on TikTok. For the uninitiated, Kevin’s Famous Chili appears in Episode 26 of Season 5 of The Office, in which ‘Kevin Malone’, played by Brian Baumgartner, brings his namesake specialty into the Dunder-Mifflin headquarters. His attempt to share his family delicacy with co-workers goes belly-up after he spills the chili all over the floor, then hilariously tries to scoop it back into the pot. LINK:
★ Who would win in a fight: ‘Rocky’ or ‘Rambo’? We’ve all had this argument, after we were finished debating ‘Batman’ vs. ‘Superman’, ‘Alien’ vs. ‘Predator’, and ‘Ecks’ vs. ‘Sever’. But no one has thought about it more than Sylvester Stallone, who, after 5 Rambo movies and 8 Rocky films, has finally shared his analysis in an Instagram post. His answer? “If the fighters wore to remain upright Rocky would prevail.” But wait . . .there’s more: “If the fight goes to the ground, Rambo will prevail in a bloody brutal fight to the end.” Then, Sly wrote: “Rethinking this scenario, Rocky will land the first 5 or 6 blows. If that does not incapacitate Rambo…(this) means incredibly vicious assaults on the eyes, the throat, every vulnerable part of the body . . . Final result is neither man will ever be the same.” (Please, Sly, DO NOT start writing this screenplay!)
★ Benedict Cumberbatch was honored with the 2,714th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Monday. A release from the Walk of Fame organization says: “His career spans across genres – he is one of England’s prized exports and we are proud to welcome him to the Hollywood Walk of Fame.” Cumberbatch will next be seen reprising his role as ‘Doctor Strange’ in Marvel’s “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness,” out May 6.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Nick Kroll, Caitriona Balfe, Turnstile
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Zoë Kravitz, Al Franken, Sebastián Yatra
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Courteney Cox, Connor Ratliff, Benson Boone, Carter McLean
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Colin Farrell, Patrick Stewart, Nick Cave
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Noella Bergener, Cynthia Bailey
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Chelsea Clinton, guest co-host Michele Tafoya
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Omari Hardwick, Ben Rector, guest co-host Carson
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kevin Nealon, Jacob Elordi
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Brad Meltzer
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Anna Chlumsky, Aida Rodriguez, John Kanell
• “Neighborhood Wars” (A&E): Season 2 premiere
• “The Amazing Race” (CBS): Season 33 finale
• “Next Level Chef” (FOX): Season 1 finale
• “DC’s Legends of Tomorrow” (CW): Season 7 finale
• “Batwoman” (VW): Season 3 finale

• Jonas Brothers – Their family is opening a southern cooking restaurant in Las Vegas this spring. The second location of Nellie’s Southern Kitchen promises to bring delicious food, live music, and plenty of soul to the MGM Grand, according to Kevin Jonas Sr. — father of the famous brothers. Named after their great grandmother, the original restaurant still stands in Belmont NC.
• Camila Cabello – previewed a little more of her upcoming single ‘Bam Bam’ on TikTok Sunday. In a 33-second walking clip, she shared a verse that includes a bit of Spanish and a tropical vibe. Bam Bam, featuring Ed Sheeran, drops in full this Friday. LINK:
• George Thorogood – will release “The Original George Thorogood” on April 15. It’s a ‘greatest-hits’ collection of “hard-stompin,’ party-down, good songs” from throughout his career, all written by Thorogood himself, such as ‘I Drink Alone’ and ‘Bad to the Bone’. It’ll be available on CD, digitally, and in black and limited-edition Translucent Orange vinyl.
• Rush — Alex Lifeson says in in a new interview that he hasn’t ruled out making new music with Rush bandmate Geddy Lee. Quote: “I talk to Geddy every other day — we’re best friends. There’s more to our life together than just writing music. So, if it happens, it happens. And it’ll happen when it happens.”
• Neil Diamond — has sold his entire song catalog, plus all recordings, to Universal Music Group (UMG) for an undisclosed sum. It includes master and recording rights for all of his hits, such as ‘Sweet Caroline’, ‘Red Red Wine’, ‘Solitary Man’, ‘I’m A Believer’ and ‘You Don’t Bring Me Flowers’, many of which are best known for their cover versions by other artists.
• Carly Pearce – is going into the Kentucky Music Hall of Fame. She’s part of a group, also including Grand Ole Opry background vocalist Norah Lee Allen, Steel Guitar Hall of Famer Tommy White, songwriter Marty Brown and posthumously, bluegrass songwriter Pete Goble and guitarist Paul Yandell that will be inducted during a ceremony in Renfro Valley on Oct. 28.
• Brooks & Dunn – Monday, they announced their “Reboot 2022 Tour”. Kicking off in Evansville IN on May 5, the duo will hit some cities for the first time in over a decade, and some in over 20 years. Openers include Gabby Barrett, Jordan Davis, Riley Green, Walker Hayes and Jon Pardi.
• The Chicks — announced Monday that they are going on tour this summer for their first major outing since 2017. It kicks off June 14 in Maryland and runs through Aug. 13 in Washington state. This is also the group’s first big tour since changing their name from “The Dixie Chicks” in 2020.


Walking down memory lane can help you deal with physical pain. That’s the conclusion of researchers at the Chinese Academy of Sciences. They say that taking a break to look at old photos or to reminisce actually provides relief from general aches and pains. The study found that feeling nostalgic helps people overcome low levels of pain by reducing brain activity. While these feelings have been found to reduce people’s perception of pain, biological mechanisms at work have remained a mystery until now. Yearning for a “simpler time” reduces brain activity and could help people overcome low levels of pain, like headaches. While there is a wide variety of pain medication to choose from, they are potentially addictive and come with the risk of side effects. The new findings suggest nostalgia may be a drug-free way for people to alleviate low levels of pain.
(…and that’s why I never feel better than when I’m listening to some Salt-N-Pepa on my Walkman!)
(That’s why my wife always carries our wedding photo. Or as she puts it: “If I can survive being married to you, how could anything else bother me?)

A Scottish woman who rediscovered a bank account she hadn’t touched in over 60 years was surprised to learn her $3.35 balance had ballooned over the decades — into $335. 74-year-old Carol Allison, who grew up in the Philippines, was visiting her grandmother in Scotland when she was 6-years-old, when the older woman helped her open an account at Trustee Savings Bank (now TSB). Grandma hung on to the bank book over the years and it was returned to Allison when her grandmother died in 1969. Allison, who now lives in Scotland, recently came across the bank book while cleaning her house. She took it to the bank, and was pleasantly surprised to find the account still active, and her $3.35 had grown to a hefty $335 over the course of 6 decades. She’s now planning to find out if the other 2 bank books she found at the same time bring any further unexpected windfall.
(Have they told her about the 60 years’ worth of service charges yet?)
(I can only hope that you had a higher interest rate in this story than she had from the bank!)
(She could have invested in Bitcoin — and by now she’d have . . . minus $335!)

Despite what your mother always said, it turns out there are some things that vegetables CAN’T do. Eating veggies may NOT help protect you against heart disease, according to a new study that’s triggered strong reactions from critics. An analysis of the diets of nearly 400,000 British adults found that raw vegetables can benefit the heart, but not cooked vegetables. What’s more, the University of Oxford researchers said any heart-related benefit from vegetables vanished altogether when they accounted for lifestyle factors such as physical activity, smoking, drinking, fruit consumption, red and processed meat consumption, and use of vitamin and mineral supplements. But other experts were quick to chime in. Naveed Sattar, a professor of cardiovascular and metabolic medicine at the University of Glasgow, said: “There is good trial evidence that eating foods rich in fibre such as vegetables can help lower weight, and improve…risk factors known to cause heart disease.” And Alice Lichtenstein, senior scientist at Tufts University’s Cardiovascular Nutrition Laboratory, said: “Picking out one single component…and…adding it to the diet, e.g., vegetables, is not likely to result in the desired effect. One thing that has become clear over the past decade is we should not be looking at single foods or nutrients, rather the whole dietary pattern.”
(Wow. You know what this means? It just makes me sick to think of all the money I’ve wasted over the years buying baked beans…)
(On the other hand, if I’m eating vegetables, I can’t be cramming my face with hot dogs and ice cream, so…)
(***In spite this information, see below***)

(According to nutritionists . . .)
1. Shiitake mushrooms:  They reduce inflammation and benefit immune function.
2. Sweet potatoes:  Many nutrients, antioxidants, and lots of fiber.
3. Jicama:  Add this root veggie to smoothies or dip in hummus to take advantage of its prebiotic fiber.
4. Green peas:  Quality starchy carbs and lots of fiber and protein. Also helps combat cancers.
5. Broccoli sprouts:  Help heal the gut, reduce inflammation and provide antioxidants.
6. Garlic:  Many healthful properties, including its effect on cholesterol and combatting cancer.
7. Kimchi:  This fermented Korean veggie mixture is good for cholesterol levels and for your gut.
8. Beets:  Full of antioxidants and vitamins, protecting cells against DNA damage and cancer.
9. Carrots:  A rich source of vitamin A and…you guessed it…beta-carotene, which supports immune function and eye health.
10: Brussels sprouts:  A great source of vitamins C, K, fiber and folate, great for regulating blood sugar. (Sorry, still not worth it!)

Incompetent people are often so incompetent that they don’t realize their own incompetence. According to the “Dunning-Kruger effect”, people who are ignorant or unskilled in any area are too inept to notice, so they end up thinking they’re far more competent than they actually are. (Admit it – this story immediately reminded you of someone in particular . . .)


• “Ash Wednesday”, marking the first day of Lent in the Western Christian liturgical year. For the devout, it’s a season of spiritual discipline, cleansing, and fasting which occurs in the 40 days (excluding Sundays) before Easter. (So, what are you giving up for Lent? Cod liver oil?)
• “Dr Seuss Day”, celebrating the 1904 birth of Theodor Seuss Geisel in Springfield MA, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of children’s books including “The Cat in the Hat,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” and many other classics. He died in 1991. BS Fun Fact: “Seuss,” which was also his mother’s maiden name — was pronounced “Zoice” by the family, and by Geisel himself.
• “Old Stuff Day”, a celebration of antiques (either that, or someone is finally appreciating my home decor!)
• “Banana Cream Pie Day”, the English version of banana cream pie is called ‘banoffee’ pie, being a portmanteau of ‘banana’ and ‘toffee’. The recipe for this dessert is much richer than its American counterpart, calling for lashings of condensed milk and toffee, and often served with ice cream.
• “International Rescue Cat Day”, a good day to add a new member to your family by adopting a cat! There are so many out there just waiting for a home, so make sure to get a rescue when you decide to adopt a cat.
• “Stop Bad Service Day”, honoring companies that foster loyalty by providing top notch service.

[Thurs] Canadian Bacon Day
[Thurs] I Want You to be Happy Day
[Fri] Pound Cake Day
[Fri] Grammar Day

1962 [60] Jon Bon Jovi, Perth Amboy NJ, rock singer (Bon Jovi-‘Livin’ on a Prayer’, ‘It’s My Life’)/Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, 2018

1968 [54] Daniel Craig, Chester UK, movie actor (‘James Bond’ in “Skyfall”, “Casino Royale”) COMING UP…”Knives Out 2″, 2022

1977 [45] Chris Martin, Exeter UK, pop-rock singer (Coldplay-‘Viva La Vida’, ‘Yellow’)

1980 [42] Rebel Wilson, Sydney Australia, movie actress (“Pitch Perfect” movies) COMING UP…”Senior Year”, 2022

1981 [41] Bryce Dallas Howard, LA CA, movie actress (“Jurassic World”, “The Help”)/daughter of actor/director Ron Howard. COMING UP… “Jurassic World: Dominion”, 2022

1982 [40] Ben Roethlisberger, Lima OH, former NFL QB (2 Superbowl wins with Pittsburgh Steelers: 2006, 2009/6-time Pro Bowl)

1989 [33] Nathalie Emmanuel, Southend-on-Sea England (“Game of Thrones” 2013-19)

1990 [32] Luke Combs, Charlotte North Carolina, country singer (‘Better Together’, ‘Beautiful Crazy’)

2009 [13] “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” premieres on NBC, as the new host takes over for Conan O’Brien (who moves to the “Tonight Show” … temporarily)

2008 [14] Canadian blues rocker Jeff Healey dies of cancer at age 41 in Toronto ON

2014 [08] Fast-food chain Arby’s buys the hat Pharrell Williams wore to the Grammys on eBay for $44,100 and donates it to the Newseum in Washington DC (the hat resembles the Arby’s logo)

1983 [39] The first CD players are released in America, along with 16 albums in the format

1989 [33] Madonna’s ‘Like a Prayer’ becomes the first hit song to debut in a commercial, premiering in a 2-minute Pepsi ad

1962 [60] Philadelphia Warriors center Wilt Chamberlain scores a pro basketball record 100 points vs the NY Knicks (breaking his own record of 78 set earlier the same season)


✓ Fleas jump at about 140 times the force of gravity – 20 times that of a space shuttle during launch.
✓ When awake, the human brain produces enough electricity to power a small light bulb.
✓ Perspiration is odorless; it is the bacteria on the skin that creates an odor.
✓ Just 30 minutes of daily complaining can physically damage your brain. And listening to someone else constantly complain also negatively affects brain function.
✓ Sniffing Crayola crayons has been found to lower blood pressure.
✓ Knitting was initially a male-only occupation. In fact, when the very first knitting union was established in Paris in 1527, no women were allowed.
-RandomFactGenerator, FactRetriever

Best of BS . . .
• Break it up into a couple of manageable 50-year chunks.
• Get at least 23 hours of sleep a night.
• Have a motivational goal, such as outliving that young punk Dick Van Dyke.
• Maintain a daily exercise routine — such as walking to the liquor store.
• Forget all that inspirational crap … sweat the small stuff.
• Stay the hell away from the ‘Hindenberg’.
• Don’t let the Academy Awards people get hold of your publicity photo.
• Avoid dying.
-First published in BS in 2017

• “I’m just checking in.” = Where is that thing you promised I’d have by now?
• “Sorry to bother you again.” = Why can’t you do your flippin’ job?
• “I just want to make sure we are on the same page.” = I worry you didn’t understand my simple instructions and will screw this up.
• “I feel bad for making you do this.” = You should feel bad for not having done this already.
• “This was helpful.” = This would’ve been helpful 2 weeks ago.
• “Sorry if I somehow missed your email.” = We both know you never emailed me.
• “Perhaps there was a misunderstanding.” = You didn’t freakin’ listen to me.
• “I suppose that’s one way to go about it.” = Stop improvising and just do what I ask you to do.
• “Sorry if my instructions were unclear.” = Are you a moron?
• “I can’t remember if I already asked you to do this.” = I’ve asked you 4 times and you still haven’t done it.
• “Let me know if you have any questions.” = Do not bother me with your stupidity.
• “Thank you for your help.” = I could’ve done this waaay faster myself.
-First published in BS in 2016


(***You run down the list while your participant decides which choice is more palatable …***)
• Would you rather be covered in fur or covered in scales?
• Would you rather have a golden voice or a silver tongue?
• Would you rather be in jail for a year or lose a year off your life?
• Would you rather put ketchup or chocolate fudge on everything you eat?
• Would you rather have all traffic lights you approach be green or never have to stand in line again?
• Would you rather spend the rest of your life with a sailboat as your home or an RV?
• Would you rather have a 3rd eye or a 3rd arm?
• Would you rather give up all drinks except for water or give up eating anything that was cooked in an oven?
• Would you rather be married to a 10 with a bad personality or a 6 with an amazing personality?

Somebody, somewhere, needs to see this:

Am I getting older, or is the supermarket finally playing great music?

What food do you love that a lot of people might find odd . . . or repulsive?

Question:  A survey found that 68% of people share secrets with THIS person? Who is it?
Answer:  Their hair stylist

They always say time changes all things . . . but you actually have to change them yourself.


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