May 20, 2004

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Thursday, May 20, 2004        Edition: #2793
Another Sheetload of Bull!

TONIGHT supermodel Naomi Campbell kicks off her own lavish 3-day 34th birthday celebration with a ‘Red & White Gala’ for 800 pals in St Tropez, which requires all guests to wear the theme colors . . . Billy Joel has a new deal to write 2 children’s books, both based on his own songs – “Goodnight My Angel” and “New York State of Mind” . . . 20th Century Fox has become first to use an innovative new marketing tool – T-shirts embedded with video screens that play trailers for the upcoming movie “I, Robot” starring Will Smith – that will be worn by models at conventions, in malls, at festivals and anywhere else people gather . . . Michael Jackson has completed a refinancing deal that will allow him to borrow up to $18 million, secured by his Neverland ranch . . . NEXT MONTH Global TV will launch a new late-night talk show, “Global Late Night”, with a yet-to-be-named host . . . Martha Stewart’s TV show will vanish in SEPTEMBER, because producers can’t count on her being available (she might be busy making license plates) . . . THIS WEEK shooting began in Montréal on a prequel to CBC-TV‘s critically acclaimed Pierre Trudeau mini-series, this time starring Québec actor Stephane Demers as ‘PET’, not Colm Feore . . . Voting time for NEXT WEEK’s “American Idol” finalé will be doubled to 4 hours (so people with power dialers can get in an extra 10,000 calls) . . . “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul is set to sue a Studio City CA beauty salon over a botched manicure that she claims required the removal of an entire thumbnail and almost cost her the thumb (from her recent ramblings and constant crying on “AI”, it appears she’s still on a whole whack of painkillers).

• Madonna – She’ll go home after each of the 28 concerts in the North American leg of her “re-Invention Tour” beginning MONDAY. A private jet will be waiting in each city to take her either to her NYC apartment, her LA home, or a friend’s mansion in Florida.
• Outkast – TONIGHT they’re on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Jessica Simpson – She’s on the cover of the JUNE issue of “Maxim”, but insisted the men’s mag sign an agreement to ensure the photo shows her fully-clothed.
• Jessica Simpson – Her manager/pop Joe Simpson says she’ll star as ‘Daisy Duke’ in the upcoming movie based on the vintage TV show “The Dukes of Hazzard”.
• 3 Doors Down – They’ve announced the creation of ‘The Better Life Foundation’ to benefit children in need of food, shelter and medical assistance. It’s named after their debut album.
• Gwen Stefani – She tells “Cosmo” she’s considering shutting down her Website because it’s an open forum for people ‘to bag on you’. We believe that means criticize.
• Eminem – SATURDAY he’s hosting the “Detroit Hip-Hop Summit” to help register voters as part of the ‘Hip-Hop Summit Action Network’. He’ll be joined by 50 Cent.
• Natalie Cole – She tells “Access Hollywood” she’ll be touring THIS SUMMER with Whitney Houston and Whitney’s aging diva cousin Dionne Warwick, beginning in Germany in JULY.
• Montgomery Gentry – Their next single is the title track from “You Do Your Thing” but they’ll open the “ACM Awards” next WEDNESDAY with their current single “If You Ever Stop Loving Me”.
• Nelly Furtado – TONIGHT she does “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.

Ted Danson will play an attorney who takes on the Roman Catholic Church over sex abuse scandals in the Showtime movie “Our Fathers”, co-starring Christopher Plummer & Brian Dennehy . . . Showtime is also currently shooting a musical send-up of the infamous 1937 anti-pot film “Reefer Madness” in Vancouver, starring Neve Campbell, Alan Cumming & Steven Weber . . . Sarah Jessica Parker’s first post-“Sex & The City” project will be the movie “The Good Life”, based on the true story of a New York couple’s botched kidnapping of the president of Exxon . . . Anthony Hopkins will star in “The World’s Fastest Indian”, the story of New Zealander Burt Monro who built a 1920 Indian motorcycle and set the land-speed world record in the 1970s . . . “The Brothers Grimm” will star Matt Damon WITHOUT the fake nose that the director envisioned, because the big beak made his money-in-the-bank face almost unrecognizable in screen tests . . . Demi Moore has her first lead role in 4 years, playing a best-selling mystery writer whose life falls apart when her 5-year-old son drowns in the thriller “Half Light” . . . Hoping to repeat the box office success of “Pirates of the Caribbean” and avoid the performance of mega-bomb “Haunted Mansion”, Disney is planning another movie based on a theme park attraction – “The Jungle Cruise” . . . And it now looks as if just-turned-51 actor Pierce Brosnan will play a very mature ‘James Bond’ at least once more after patching up his feud with Barbara Broccoli, producer of the ‘007′ franchise (hmm, will it be “Dr No Bladder Control” or “Octogenarianpussy”?)

A bungling thief in Scotland tried to siphon diesel fuel from a camper van but got a mouthful of raw sewage. It seems the would-be raider missed the fuel tank in the dark and stuck his tube into the RV’s septic tank by mistake.
– “Daily Record”

Japanese clothing companies are adding substances to their products to create fashions with a function. When added to fabric, things like vitamins seep into the wearer’s skin and work their magic. One manufacturer has created clothes that contain xylitol, a substance used to sweeten gum and candy. It also absorbs heat when it comes in contact with sweat, so it helps keep you cool while you exercise.
– “Owl” magazine.

LAST NIGHT at a NYC club bash for British billionaire Sir Richard Branson, airfare to London on his Virgin Atlantic airline was awarded to any woman over 21 who could prove she’s virgin.
– “Page Six”

According to a new study, Canadians are among the biggest consumers of coffee in the world, guzzling down an average of 4.5 cups per day. The study also shows that gourmet coffees contain whopping amounts of caffeine. A review of the caffeine content per 20-ounce cup (‘jumbo’ size) in various coffee shop chains …
• Java Stop (186 mg)
• Country Style (232 mg)
• Tim Hortons (270 mg)
• Timothy’s (272 mg)
• Starbucks / Second Cup (391 mg)
Health Canada recommends that adults limit consumption of caffeine to 400 mg daily, the equivalent of about 4 small cups of coffee. Any more than that can lead to health problems.
– “Globe & Mail”/CTV News study.

Think golf is a calm, safe sport? Think again! One golfer in Riverside CA hit 14 spectators, 2 caddies, a chipmunk and a blue jay while playing 18 holes. His most sensational shot sailed over a fence and shattered a car windshield on a nearby freeway, causing a 6-car pileup. The golfer received so much attention, a local insurance company paid him $10,000 to appear in a commercial.
– “Disney Adventures”

A compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … job strain combined with marital stress makes for a double whammy of a hypertension problem. A new study by Toronto’s Sunnybrook & Women’s College Health Sciences Center shows that’s a deadly combo that almost guarantees high blood pressure.
• Scientists say … doctors who play video games make better surgeons. An usual study at NYC’s Beth Israel Medical Center finds that docs who spend 3 hours a week zapping aliens or racing video-game cars work 27% quicker than non-video-gaming docs and make 37% fewer mistakes in the O.R. during laparoscopic surgery. It makes sense – laparoscopic surgery uses a tiny camera and instruments controlled by joysticks.
• Scientists say … chocolate and cocoa can be good for your heart. A study at the Athens Medical School in Greece reveals that dark chocolate, rich in flavonoids (chemical compounds found naturally in some fruits & vegetables), actually seems to improve the tissue in arteries.
• Scientists say … unfaithful men are more likely to die during sex than loyal spouses. A new German study of men who died during sex reveals that only 1 in 4 croaked while with their spouse or regular partner. More than half died in the arms of a lover or at a brothel, while the remainder passed away while making love … to themselves.

“Orlando is ‘it’. He is much prettier than me.” – Brad Pitt on his “Troy” co-star Orlando Bloom.


1944 [60] Joe (John Robert) Cocker, Sheffield UK, oldies singer (“You are So Beautiful”, “With a Little Help From My Friends”)

1946 [58] Cher (Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPierre), El Centro CA, retired pop singer (“Believe”, Sonny & Cher-“I Got You Babe”)/movie actress (Oscar-“Moonstruck”)

1949 [55] Dave Thomas, St Catharines ON, movie actor (“Rat Race” “Strange Brew”)/former TV actor (Bob & Doug MacKenzie-“SCTV”)

1964 [40] Earl Charles Spencer, Norfolk UK, Princess Diana’s younger brother who charges money to view her gravesite

1972 [32] Busta Rhymes (Trevor Smith Jr), Brooklyn NY, hip-hop artist (Method Man f/Busta Rhymes-“What’s Happenin”, w/Eminem & 50 Cent-“Hail Mary”)

TODAY is “Weights & Measures Day”, in celebration of the 1875 treaty that established the International Bureau of Weights and Measures, thereby standardizing values. (That means you’re just as fat in New Zealand as you are at home.)

TODAY is “Eliza Doolittle Day”, a day named in honor of the lead character in the famous musical “My Fair Lady” to encourage the proper use of language. (Hey, that ain’t too bad an idea!)

TOMORROW is “Bike-to-Work Day”, a highlight of “National Bike Month”, promoted as part of the solution to many of today’s problems – obesity, traffic congestion, and air pollution. Bike commuting expert Dave Glowacz says the biggest reason why North American commuters seem to refuse to try it is the fear of  offending coworkers with – body odor.
PHONER: 202.822.1333 (League of American Bicyclists, Washington DC)

1993 [11] 80.4 million viewers tune in for the final episode of NBC-TV sitcom “Cheers”

1874 [130] Levi Strauss & Co 1st markets ‘blue jeans with copper rivets’ (priced @ $13.50 … per dozen!)

1892 [112] 1st practical ‘clothes dryer’ invented by George Sampson (the next day the first sock mysteriously disappears)

1927 [77] 1st non-stop solo Atlantic crossing in an airplane begins as Charles Lindbergh takes off in ‘Spirit of St Louis’ from Long Island NY to fly to Paris (it wins him a $25,000 prize)

1932 [72] 1st woman to fly solo across Atlantic (Amelia Earhart)

1980 [24] 1st Québec referendum on separation (59.5% vote ‘non’)

1990 [14] Hubble telescope sends 1st photos from space

[Fri] 31st Daytime Emmy Awards
[Fri] Wait Staff Day
[Sun] World Turtle Day
[Mon] Victoria Day
[Mon] Morning Radio Wise Guy Day
[Tues-Wed] “American Idol” final
[Tues] “Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” released on DVD
[Wed] 39th Academy of Country Music Awards (Las Vegas)
This Week Is . . . International Reggae Music Week / World Trade Week
This Month Is . . . Osteoporosis Prevention Month / Stroke Awareness Month


• Your body’s name must be VISA because it’s everywhere I want to be.
• Do you work for the post office? Because I could have sworn you were checking out my package.
• Can I buy you a drink … or do you just want the money?
• I may not be Fred Flintstone but I bet I can make your bed rock.
• I lost my phone number … can I borrow yours?
• Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
• Can I borrow a quarter? Because my mom told me to call home when I fell in love.
• I may not be the best looking guy here but I’m the only one talking to you.
• You might not be the best looking girl here but beauty is only a light switch away.
(Ask listeners for more!)

Q: What is the world’s tallest grass, which can grow to 130 feet or more?
A: Bamboo. (Or your neighbor’s backyard.)

Today’s Question: 1 in 10 people admit to doing THIS even though they know it’s wrong.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Buying an outfit with the intent to wear it once and then return it.

Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.


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