May 17 2023

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Wednesday, May 17, 2023 — Edition: #7476

The BS Press!


The Bull Sheet will not be publishing on Monday, May 22 to observe the Canadian Victoria Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 23.

★ Jamie Foxx has reportedly entered a top physical rehabilitation center after being released from hospital. TMZ says he has been receiving medical care in Chicago since April — a few weeks after suffering an unknown medical emergency, reported to be a stroke. His daughters Corinne Foxx and Anelise Foxx have flown in to be by his side and seemed to be in great spirits while visiting their father over the weekend. The facility specializes in stroke recovery, traumatic brain injury rehab, spinal cord injury rehab and cancer rehabilitation. An insider told the outlet that Foxx is “recovering well.”
★ Tom Hanks has made it clear who his pick to be the next ‘James Bond’ is. The Oscar-winner hopes that fan-favorite frontrunner Idris Elba is the next Brit in a suave suit to embody the super spy. Hanks said to the BBC: “Understand this. James Bond has a license to kill. I would issue that license to Idris Elba just based on the work that I’ve seen him do.” While the idea of Elba playing ‘007’ has earned the love and support of both fans and the spy franchise’s longtime producer, Barbara Broccoli, the actor himself has gone on record as saying: “It is not a goal” for him.
★ Even Nick Cannon gets confused when it comes to his “baby mamas.” He revealed on Monday’s episode of “The Daily Cannon” that he wrote “handwritten messages from the heart” for Mother’s Day to the 6 women with whom he shares 12 children. He said: “I tried my best, I really did…I thought it would be really, really good to (show them how I feel)…write it down.” But things didn’t work out as planned. He went on to detail how the cards bearing his heartfelt notes got mixed up, “So…one baby mama reads the card about how I feel about the other baby mama …” As his co-hosts groaned and laughed in the background, Cannon then added: “See if I would just got some generic (stuff like) everybody else got, that wouldn’t have happened.”
★ Martha Stewart has made history as Sports Illustrated Swimsuit’s oldest cover model. The businesswoman has been chosen as one of 4 cover models to be featured on the cover of the magazine’s annual Swimsuit Issue, joining Megan Fox, Kim Petras, and Brooks Nader. Speaking to SI, Stewart said she doesn’t often think about age, but she “thought that this is kind of historic.”
★ Ready to dive back into “Avatar: The Way of Water?” The James Cameron-directed epic, currently the 3rd highest grossing movie of all-time, will make its streaming debut on Max and Disney+ on June 7. The long-awaited sequel to Cameron’s original “Avatar,” which was released in 2009, hit theaters this past Christmas and almost immediately became a runaway success. The next Avatar sequel is scheduled for Christmas 2024.
★ Watch out, King Charles — Sarah Ferguson has announced that she and her close friend, entrepreneur Sarah Jane Thomson, are launching a podcast called “Tea Talks with the Duchess and Sarah.” The Duchess of York and ex-wife of disgraced Prince Andrew wrote on Instagram: “It’s about time we spilled the tea.” Thompson said listeners can expect the 2 hosts to “spill the tea, chat about our weeks, and sometimes even set the record straight!” The podcast’s official description says they “promise to leave no stone unturned, and no biscuit un-dunked.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Chris Pine, Dave Burd, the War & Treaty (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Rosie O’Donnell, SUGA (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Nathan Lane, Sam Jay (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chance the Rapper, Parker Posey (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ariana Madix
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sigourney Weaver, Patricia Clarkson, Trace Lysette
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Wilmer Valderrama, Chandra Wilson, Monica Mangin
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Charlie Day, Ken Jeong, Alex Cooper
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Justin Long (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Wilmer Valderrama, Tarek & Heather El Moussa
• “True Lies” (CBS): Season 1 finale
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): Season 9 finale
• “Farmer Wants a Wife” (FOX): Season 1 finale
• “NBA Playoffs (Check local listings): Miami Heat @ Boston Celtics

• Lizzo – has now been immortalized as a “Simpsons” character, complete with her renowned flute. She shared a clip from her first appearance on the cartoon, writing: “Every Icon has been on @thesimpsons — now I can add my name to the list!” LINK:
• The Weeknd – Apparently, he was serious about saying goodbye to his stage name. Monday, he changed his name on Instagram and Twitter to his birth name, Abel Tesfaye. He recently said: “I still want to kill The Weeknd. And I will…I’m definitely trying to shed that skin and be reborn.”
• Belinda Carlisle – The Go-Go’s singer released the solo EP “Kismet” on Friday. It features 5 new songs including the single ‘Big Big Love’. It’s her first English language recording since 1997. LINK:
• Sting – would be happy to follow Paul McCartney’s example and headline the UK’s Glastonbury festival at the age of 80 – 9 years from now. Asked about the possibility of playing Glastonbury in 2032, he said: “Well, it’s not that far away. Why not?… As long as I can get into my rock star pants, I’ll be fine.”
• Iron Maiden – is taking legal action against the new undergarment store “Maiden Wear”, over their company name. The group says the similar brand names are “likely to deceive or cause consumer confusion”.
• Jelly Roll and Lainey Wilson — are among the performers set to take the stage during the Season 21 finale of “American Idol” this Sunday. Also scheduled to perform are the previously-announced Keith Urban, plus Ellie Goulding, James Blunt, Jazmine Sullivan, REO Speedwagon’s Kevin Cronin, Kylie Minogue, Lauren Daigle, Pitbull and TLC.
• Garth Brooks – is enforcing a “no phones” policy during his residency at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas, beginning tomorrow. Fans will have to have to place their mobile in a locked pouch until the end of the show. Those caught with a phone will be removed from the venue.
• Reba McEntire – Monday, she revealed she’s sliding into the seat Blake Shelton vacated on “The Voice.” She previously served as the Mega Mentor on Season 23 of the show. This fall, she’ll join coaches John Legend, Gwen Stefani and Niall Horan. LINK:


More than half of employees say they’re stressed at work every day, according to a poll. With that in mind, it’s good to know there is an effective, scientifically proven tool we can use in our daily lives to combat that feeling. And that is…Microbreaks! Research consistently shows that if we can build time to reset and recharge, we can interrupt the sort of cumulative stress that leads to burnout. A recent North Carolina State University study found that employees’ energy increased after just a 5-minute break. And so did the likelihood they would set and achieve work goals. Another study, in the Journal of Applied Psychology, found that call center workers who took micro-breaks experienced a mood boost that translated into better sales performance. And even short breaks between meetings have been found to help employees stay focused and energized, stopping cumulative stress from building up and giving workers’ brains a chance to “reset.”
(Or, be like me, and take your break DURING the meeting…just try not to snore!)
(So a 5-minute break is known as a “microbreak”? Where I used to work, that was called a “vacation”!!)

⇒ Swapping that soda for a diet option, or adding sweetener to your coffee may not be the best choice for weight loss after all. The World Health Organization Has released new guidelines warning us not to use non-sugar sweeteners for weight loss, because it may do more harm than good. New findings showed that artificial sweeteners — like aspartame, a sugar substitute found in Diet Coke — don’t do much to reduce your waistline. And long-term use of these fake sugars could increase your risk for Type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and even death. (Yeah, but you won’t get cavities…)
⇒ Here’s the latest bizarre food mash-up: Velveeta – known for the melty goodness of its golden cheese – has gotten together with chocolate company Compartés Chocolatier to create the first-ever chocolate cheese truffle. Given the name “TruffVels,” these truffles combine cheese and chocolate, using Compartés sweet white chocolate, coupled with Velveeta cheese. The truffle takes on the iconic custom shell shape, and is infused with Velveeta molten cheese sauce. (Just because no one has done something before, doesn’t mean you should do it…!)
-NYPost, PennLive

Which is better? Planning a trip long in advance, carefully creating a “must-do” list, and counting down the days until departure, or just taking off one day on a totally spontaneous adventure? The answer? Door #2, according to more than 3 in 5 people. In a survey of more than 2,000 Americans, 67% said they enjoy trips more if they happen on a whim. One in 5 (22%) even base their travel on spontaneous decision-making. The OnePoll survey, on behalf of Motel 6, also showed that many of us don’t seem to care where, they just want to go. And 73% said they’d be willing to take a trip to a surprise destination. Three-quarters agree with the old saying that when traveling, the journey is just as much fun as the actual destination.
(…unless you’ve been to an airport lately…)
(…and these people are right. Unplanned trips are the best. Unless they’re to the Emergency Department. Or the Unemployment office…)

Here are more of the movies being released to theaters this summer that are vying to be “THE” blockbuster of the year, à la “Jaws” or “E.T.” or “Independence Day”, etc. Today, we’re covering the movies dropping in July and August…
✪ “Joy Ride” (July 7): This takes the girls’ trip idea, and tells the story from an Asian American perspective, letting some gifted actresses, including Ashley Park and Stephanie Hsu, have what looks to be the best and wildest time ever.
✪ “Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning, Part One” (July 14): Tom Cruise is back as ‘Ethan Hunt’, faced with yet another impossible task that, somehow, you know he’ll be able to pull off. (We just hope the movie isn’t as dense, or as long, as the title.)
✪ “Barbie” (July 21): NOW we’re talkin’. Everything we’ve seen about this makes it look huge…including Ryan Gosling’s hilarious observations on harnessing his “Ken-ergy” at CinemaCon. The movie’s tongue-in-plastic-cheek feel surely has a lot to do with its director and co-writer Greta Gerwig.
✪ “Oppenheimer” (July 21): If Barbie’s subject matter is a bit light for you, try this very serious film from the very serious Christopher Nolan, who promises the movie – about the inventor of the atomic bomb – captures the story of “the most important person who ever lived.” (Bono disagrees…)
✪ “Haunted Mansion” (July 28): Disney continues its” let’s-turn-our-theme-park-rides-into-movies” tradition, after the successful “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise and somewhat less-explosive “Jungle Cruise”. This adaptation follows a 2003 version with Eddie Murphy.
✪ “The Meg 2: The Trench” (August 4): For those looking to get their creature feature needs met, hopefully this sequel improves on the strangely lackluster first film from 2018 about an insanely large prehistoric shark.
✪ “Gran Turismo” (August 11): This flick, based on the auto racing game, stars David Harbour, who pointed out at CinemaCon that that the game is essentially a racing simulator and that there was no real storyline to work with. Oh, no…
✪ “Blue Beetle” (August 18): Initially meant for streaming platforms, this flick marks the cinematic arrival of DC’s first Latino superhero, played by Xolo Maridueña of “Cobra Kai” fame. Although the trailer is exciting, we wonder if we’re pretty much at the bottom of the barrel here…
(What “blockbuster” summer movie was a huge part of your childhood…or teen years?)

The average person spends more than an entire work week per year simply purchasing beverages such as coffee at the café during the workday, according to a new survey. The poll of on-site employees found it takes about 16 minutes to leave one’s desk, buy a drink and return. And with 3 such trips a week, employees end up losing about 50 working hours per year. And the money spent on beverages also adds up. At the work café, the average American buys about 2½ drinks, totaling about $16 per visit. That equals about $2,800 a year. (You think that’s a lot of wasted time? When I’m working from home, I might get up for a drink and not return for hours! Uh…whoooops….)


• “Pack Rat Day”, celebrating those who squirrel away all kinds of ‘stuff’. What’s the oddest thing you have that you refuse to throw away? (But I might need those old soup cans someday!)
• “World Hypertension Day”, an annual observance to highlight the fact that stroke, heart, and kidney diseases caused by high blood pressure are preventable.
• “World Telecommunications Day”, a UN observance since 1969. The goal now is to raise awareness of the possibilities that the use of the internet and other communication technologies can bring to societies and economies, as ways to bridge the digital divide. LINK:
• “Pinot Grigio Day”, if you’ve never had this fine wine and want to know how it tastes, it’s been described as having an acidic, lighter-bodied flavor, with punchy acidity, and flavors of lemons, limes, green apples and honeysuckle. (…and it pairs well with MORE!)
• “Cherry Cobbler Day”, dedicated to the delicious tart dessert that many enjoy with ice cream.
• “Walnut Day”, to show recognition and promote awareness of the walnut. Some Fun Walnut Facts:
⇒ Walnuts are the oldest known tree food, dating back to 10,000 BC!
⇒ 99% of the commercial U.S. supply and 2/3 of the world trade of walnuts come from California.
⇒ Walnuts have always been considered important for their medicinal properties, including curing bad breath, reducing inflammation, and healing wounds.
⇒ More recently, the nutritional benefits of walnuts have become more well-known, especially their omega-3 fatty acid content.
⇒ The Greeks called walnuts ‘karyon’, meaning “head,” because the shell resembles a human skull and the walnut kernel itself looks like a brain!

[Thurs] Visit Your Relatives Day
[Thurs] International Museum Day
[Fri] Accounting Day
[Sat] Learn to Swim Day
This Week is…Road Safety Week
This Month is…Gifts From the Garden Month

1956 [67] “Sugar” Ray Leonard, Wilmington NC, former pro boxer (2X Olympic Gold medalist, 5 world titles in 5 weight classes, the first fighter to earn more than $100 million in fight purses)

1961 [62] Enya (Brennan), Gweedore Ireland, world music singer (‘Only Time’, ‘Orinoco Flow’)

1962 [61] Craig Ferguson, Glasgow Scotland, comedian-TV host (“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” 2005-14)/TV actor (“Drew Carey Show” 1996-2004)

1965 [58] Trent Reznor, Mercer PA, rock singer (Nine Inch Nails-‘Every Day is Exactly the Same’)/film score composer (“The Social Network”, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”)

1969 [54] Alan Doyle, Petty Harbour NL, folk-rock singer (‘So Let’s Go’, Great Big Sea-‘Ordinary Day’, ‘Consequence Free’)

1970 [53] Jordan Knight, Worcester MA, boy-band pop singer (New Kids On the Block-‘Hangin’ Tough’, ‘Step By Step’)

1973 [50] Josh Homme, Joshua Tree CA, rock singer-guitarist (Queens Of the Stone Age-‘No One Knows’, Eagles of Death Metal-‘Save a Prayer’, Kyuss, Them Crooked Vultures)

1985 [38] Derek Hough, Salt Lake City UT, professional dancer (6-time champ on “Dancing With the Stars” 2007-2016)/brother of Julianne Hough

1988 [35] Nikki Reed, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Twilight” franchise, “Thirteen”)

2011 [12] The final episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” is recorded in Chicago, with many celebrities attending (None were awarded a car!)

2012 [11] Donna Summer dies of lung cancer at her home in Naples FL, at age 63

2015 [08] Taylor Swift wins 8 Billboard Music Awards; Pharrell Williams, Meghan Trainor, One Direction, and Sam Smith are also multiple winners

1964 [59] The first Tim Horton’s coffee and donut shop opens in Hamilton ON, then co-owned by NHL player Tim Horton (now about 5,600 locations in 15 countries)

2004 [19] Massachusetts becomes the first US state to legalize same-sex marriage (today is celebrated as “Same Sex Marriage Day” in America)

2009 [14] MC/singer/pianist Gonzales breaks the Guinness World Record for ‘Longest Public Solo Performance’ by performing 300 consecutive songs over more than 27 straight hours in Paris, France


✓ It is only possible to dream about faces you have seen in real life.
✓ The Italian Space Agency sent a specially-designed espresso machine into space for one of its astronauts.
✓ A suit of medieval armor was once found in a tiger shark’s stomach.
✓ The word “aquarium” means “watering place for cattle” in Latin.
✓ Lobsters listen with their legs.
-ReadersDigest, AnimalsAustralia

Best of BS . . .
• The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
• You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several Canada geese.
• You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with car.
• A potato baked in the coals for 1 hour makes an excellent meal. A potato baked in the coals for 3 hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
• You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on north side of your compass.
• A lot of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
• In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to “quiet” snoring tent-mate.
• ‘Sleeping under the stars’ has absolutely nothing to do with a TV competition.
-First published in BS in 2000

• You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
• A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
• After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
• The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
• When the boss talks about improving productivity, he’s never talking about himself.
• There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
• The people who get to go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.
• To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
• If you’re good, you will be assigned all the work. If you’re really good, you’ll get out of it.
• If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
• Eat one live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
-Poddy’s, first published in BS in 2022

Someone has the “Zoom”-ies:

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. That, of course, means that a bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

Are the following celebs stiff or still kickin’?
• Astronaut Neil Armstrong [Died in 2012]
• Tennis great Martina Navratilova [Alive at 66]
• Comedian Louie Anderson [Died in 2022]
• Actor Nick Nolte [Alive at 82]
• Beatle Ringo Starr [Alive at 82]
• Baseball great Reggie Jackson [Alive at 76]
• Hockey great Guy Lafleur [Died in 2022]
• Actress Mary Tyler Moore [Died in 2017]
• Opera singer Luciano Pavarotti [Died in 2007]
• Actor Kirk Douglas [Died in 2020 – at age 103]

What’s legal now, but probably won’t be in 25 years?

Question:  One study found that the average teenage girl does THIS about 150 times a year. What is it?
Answer:  Slams a door

There is little success where there is little laughter.


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