Friday, May 7, 2021 — Edition: #6982
Have a Sheety Weekend!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Sharon Osbourne could be looking to revive the reality show “The Osbournes”. The show, which aired on MTV between 2002 and 2005, followed the lives of Sharon, husband Ozzy and kids Kelly and Jack – plus their small pack of dogs. With Sharon recently stepping down from her role on “The Talk”, after clashing with co-host Sheryl Underwood, a source has revealed she’s currently looking into new ventures and that a revival of the popular show is one of them.
★ Piers Morgan is criticizing Meghan Markle — again. He took aim at the Duchess of Sussex’s upcoming children’s book, which was inspired by the relationship between Meghan, her husband Prince Harry and their son Archie. In his newspaper column, Morgan wrote that the book is another act of “gargantuan hypocrisy” from the Duchess. Quote: “Lest we forget, Ms. Markle has ruthlessly disowned her father Thomas and refuses to have anything to do with him despite the fact they now live just 70 miles from each other.” According to Morgan, Markle’s book is now on “the current shortlist for the title of World’s Most Ludicrously Inappropriate Book.”
★ Demi Moore and Bruce Willis’ youngest daughter, Tallulah, has revealed on Instagram that she’s getting married. She’s engaged to director Dillon Buss. 27-year-old Tallulah posted several pictures capturing the magic moment as well as a close-up of the stunning ring. Buss also celebrated with a photo of the two and a series of pictures of Tallulah showing off the ring. Buss was part of the larger Willis-Moore clan who social-distanced together early in the pandemic at the family’s Idaho home where the girls grew up.
★ Eva Longoria’s prestige project “Flamin’ Hot,” about the inventor of the spicy Cheetos snack, has found its stars in actors Jesse Garcia and Annie Gonzalez. Longoria will direct the story of Richard Montañez. A janitor at Frito Lay, he took inspiration from his Mexican American heritage to create the wildly popular snack Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Filming is set to start this summer in New Mexico.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Maya Rudolph, Malcolm Gladwell, Kings of Leon (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jessica Biel, Chiara Aurelia, Nick Thune, Mad Foxes
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sen. Bernie Sanders, Julia Michaels (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Anna Kendrick, Phil Donahue, Marlo Thomas (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Trevor Noah, Grouplove (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): David Oyelowo, guest co-hosts Jerry O’Connell & Justin Baldoni
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jennifer Hudson, Katheryn Winnick
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Mother’s Day Show
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Julianna Margulies, Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley, Danielle Kartes
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Alba, Iska Lupton, Anastasia Miari
• “Magnum P.I.” (CBS): Season 3 finale
• “Dynasty” (CW): Season 4 premiere
• “Happily Wherever” (HGTV): Series premiere
• “VAX LIVE: The Concert to Reunite the World” (ABC/CBS): Selena Gomez hosts this event aiming to inspire vaccine confidence worldwide and help get the COVID-19 vaccines to everyone; Jennifer Lopez, Eddie Vedder, Foo Fighters, J Balvin and H.E.R. will perform.
• “Baby, It’s Cold Inside” (HALLMARK): When a travel agent is directed to forgo her tropical vacation and visit the world-famous Ice Hotel, she discovers her sacrifices are more than compensated.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Elon Musk with musical guest Miley Cyrus
• “American Idol” (ABC): The remaining finalists perform a song dedicated to the special loved ones in their lives in honor of Mother’s Day and a second song from the Coldplay songbook, mentored by singer Chris Martin.
• “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC): The American Ninja Warrior Women’s Championship
• “Burning Little Lies” (LIFETIME): A woman falls for a handsome firefighter after he rescues her from a suspicious car crash. But her life spirals out of control when his protective behavior turns to obsession.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish — has broken an Instagram record for the second time by sharing her cover shot from British Vogue magazine. Her pic became the fastest photo to reach one million likes – doing so in just under 6 minutes. As it stands, the photo has over 16 million likes.
• The Weeknd — has joined the star-studded lineup for this year’s Brit Awards, on May 11 at The O2 arena in London. Due to pandemic restrictions, his performance will be filmed remotely.” He is nominated for international male solo artist at this year’s Brits, after losing in the same category in 2016 and 2017 to fellow Canadians Justin Bieber and Drake.
• Diane Warren — A documentary is in the works about the prolific songwriter behind countless hits with dozens of legendary artists, including Aerosmith, Lady Gaga and Cher. The untitled feature film, which is currently in production, will trace Warren’s process and work ethic dating back to when she was 14.
• Pink Floyd – Their official touring exhibition “Their Mortal Remains” will set up shop in the U.S for the first time this summer. The exhibit will be on display at the Vogue Multicultural Museum in Los Angeles from Aug. 3-Nov. 28.
• Bruce Springsteen — has won the 2021 Woody Guthrie Prize, given to an artist seen as carrying on the spirit of the folk singer whose music focused on the plight of the poor and disenfranchised. Springsteen will be honored during a virtual ceremony next Thursday (May 13).
• Nirvana — is facing a copyright infringement lawsuit over merchandise allegedly featuring a C.W. Scott-Giles illustration. Giles’ granddaughter says the band had been using an image described as “virtually identical” to her grandfather’s illustration of ‘Upper Hell’ from “Dante’s Inferno” on records, clothing, and other merch since 1989. It is recognized by fans as the ‘Seven Circles of Hell’ or ‘Vestibule’ design.
• Mickey Guyton, Vince Gill and Alan Jackson – will all perform during PBS’ “2021 National Memorial Day Concert: A Night of Remembrance.” Also appearing: actors Joe Mortan and Steve Buscemi, singer-songwriter Sara Bareilles, the Four Tops and Gladys Knight. Joe Mantegna and Gary Sinise will host the show, which will air on May 30.
• The Highwomen – Amanda Shires was featured in Wednesday’s episode of “The Big Interview with Dan Rather”. In it, she said that the supergroup, which also features Brandi Carlile, Natalie Hemby and Maren Morris, is hopefully creating more female country stars. Quote: “I think back about my musical heroes and how few were women, ‘why don’t we just try to do that,’ and shine some light and try and make the lanes a little wider.”
• Old Dominion – have announced their 2021 touring plans. “An Evening With Old Dominion: The Band Behind the Curtain” will begin May 27-28 in Durant, Okla. They’ll play a handful of shows each month through the end of the year, wrapping up in St. Augustine, Fla., on Dec. 11-12.
SHOOTING THE BULL
COME TO THE LIGHT SIDE:
So, Tuesday (May the 4th) was “Star Wars Day”, and now some Lucasgeeks have decided that Wednesday was “Revenge of the Fifth” and yesterday should be called “May the Sith”. What could possibly top that? How about this: Starting some time next year, for the first time ever, you’ll be able to get your hands on a REAL, retractable working lightsaber! In a teaser video (LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3fxpakss ) ‘Rey’ from “The Last Jedi” shows it off. The trailer also promotes Disney’s new “all immersive” Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser hotel in Florida, which is set to open for two-night stays in 2022, around the same time the sabers will become available. Guests will be the first to experience the real-world sabers and will be given the opportunity “to train in the ancient ways of the lightsaber,” among other thematic offerings. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/f5excbsh
(Yeah, but I bet it’ll cost an arm or a leg…right Luke?)
(Where can I get one? At the Darth Mall?)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A farmer in Belgium caused a stir after inadvertently redrawing the country’s border with France. A history enthusiast was walking in the forest and noticed the stone marking the boundary between the two countries had moved 2.29m (7.5ft). The farmer, apparently annoyed by the stone in his tractor’s path, had moved it inside French territory. The news was met with smiles on both sides of the border. The mayor of the Belgian village of Erquelinnes told a news crew that he is “happy” that it made his town bigger, while the amused mayor of the neighboring French village of Bousignies-sur-Roc, said: “We should be able to avoid a new border war.” The stone dates back to 1819, when the border was first marked out. The farmer will be asked to return it to its original location. (At least SOMEONE is able to cross the border these days…)
➢ A 4-year-old cartoon fanatic from Brooklyn, NY went a little overboard by buying nearly $3,000 worth of SpongeBob SquarePants Popsicles on Amazon, and the company isn’t offering a refund. Fortunately, an understanding Samaritan set up a GoFundMe to help cover the chilling cost. The “truly adorable” SpongeBob diehard named Noah “managed to purchase $2,618.85 worth” of the pop-pelgangers online and “had them sent to his Auntie’s house.” In case you’re wondering, that’s 51 cases, containing 918 popsicles. As of Wednesday, kind-hearted donors had already contributed $3,675, topping the fundraising goal by more than $1,000. (If that kid uses the extra cash to buy more popsicles….)
DID YOU KNOW?
(***CAUTION – Content***) You’ve no doubt heard of the legend that you can get a pretty good idea of the size of a man’s…well, “manhood”, by how big his feet are. While that idea has been refuted by science, Japanese researchers are now saying that men with a big nose tend to be well-endowed below the belt as well. Scientists examined the bodies of 126 recently deceased middle-aged men, and compared the measurements of their noses with that of their…other protruding organ. They found that men with 2.2-inch snouts have larger penises…clocking in at 5.3 inches long. Corpses with beaks smaller than 1.8 inches packed pee-pees measuring up to 4.1 inches. And in the middle were the medium-beaked, whose tallywackers were 4 ½ inches — reportedly the average penis size in Japan. (They were LITERALLY in a fridge! There was ‘shrinkage’!)
BS CHRONOMETER 05.07.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946  Bill Kreutzmann, Palo Alto CA, rock drummer (Grateful Dead-‘Touch of Grey’)/author (“Deal: My Three Decades of Drumming, Dreams, and Drugs With the Grateful Dead”)/currently a member of “Dead and Company” with other former members of The Grateful Dead)
1968  Eagle-Eye Cherry (yup, that’s his real name), Skane Sweden, rock singer (‘Save Tonight’)/half-brother of singer Neneh Cherry (BS FAST FACT: His middle name is ‘Lanoo’)
1986  Matt Helders, Sheffield UK, indie rock drummer (Arctic Monkeys-‘I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor’, ‘Do I Wanna Know?’)
1987  Aidy Bryant, Phoenix AZ, comedian (“Saturday Night Live” since 2012)
1992  Alexander Ludwig, Vancouver BC, TV actor (‘Björn Ironside’ on “Vikings” 2013-20)/movie actor (“The Hunger Games”, “Race to Witch Mountain”)
SATURDAY- Gary Glitter (‘Rock and Roll, Part Two’) is 77; Alex Van Halen (Van Halen) is 68; Bill Cowher (“NFL Today on CBS”) is 64; Melissa Gilbert (“Little House on the Prairie”) is 57; Enrique Iglesias (‘Hero’) is 46
SUNDAY- Candice Bergen (“Murphy Brown”) is 75; Billy Joel (‘Piano Man’) is 72; John Corbett (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding”) is 60; Pierre Bouvier (Simple Plan) is 42; Rosario Dawson (“Sin City”) is 42; Audrina Patridge (“The Hills”) is 36; Noah Centineo (“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”) is 25
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “National Cosmopolitan Day”, typically made with vodka, lime and cranberry juices, today there are many delicious variations of the Cosmo.
• “National Tourism Day”, part of “Travel & Tourism Week”. For municipalities to promote their area or region. Municipalities and entertainment venues big and small use today to let people know about activities and events in their area. (By the way, “World Tourism Day” happens every September.)
• “International Space Day”, dedicated to the extraordinary achievements, benefits, and opportunities in the exploration of space. The goal is to promote math, science, technology, and engineering education in young people, in hopes of inspiring them to pursue a career in science, specifically space-related jobs.
• “No Pants Day”, is an unofficial holiday that occurs on the first Friday of May. Celebrated mostly in the United States, it calls for participants to act as if wearing only undergarments on their lower half is a normal thing to do.
• “Provider Appreciation Day”, child care providers were “essential” long before the pandemic, and the past year-plus has highlighted the lengths to which they are willing to go to keep their doors open to look after the children of other essential workers.
• “V-E Day”, Victory in Europe Day, generally known as V-E Day, or simply V Day, is the public holiday celebrated on May 8 to mark the formal acceptance in 1945 by the Allies of World War II, of Nazi Germany’s unconditional surrender. That marked the end of World War II in Europe.
• “Student Nurse Day”, As part of National Nurses Week, Student Nurses are honored today. Their drive to care, learn, and specialize in nursing will make a difference in the lives of millions in the coming years.
• “National Have A Coke Day”, a day to enjoy a glass of ice-cold Coca-Cola (or two). Fun fact: cans of coke first appeared in 1955. Some call it ‘soda’. In other parts, it’s called ‘pop,’ or ‘tonic’. (In my family, it’s called ‘mix’!)
• “No Socks Day”, when we’re encouraged to avoid wearing socks to feel less encumbered and help the environment by creating less laundry. (I fail to see how not covering my feet will help the environment in any way!)
• “World Red Cross Day”, celebrating the 1828 birth of Jean Henri Dunant in Geneva, Switzerland, the founder of the International Red Cross/Red Crescent.
• “National Coconut Cream Pie Day”, whether vanilla, lemon, lime, peanut butter, banana, coconut or chocolate, find one today. (And remember: It’s Gilligan’s favorite!)
• “Mother’s Day”, in some 60 countries including Australia, Canada, Denmark, Italy, New Zealand, Turkey, and the USA. The modern holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother at a church in Grafton, West Virginia. In a normal year, more North Americans eat out on “Mother’s Day” than any other special occasion. (No reservations? Forget it.)
• “Lost Sock Memorial Day”, a day to remember those singular hose that went into the washing machine or dryer, never to return. (And play ‘Taps’ for them?)
• “Butterscotch Brownie Day” also known as Blondies or Brookie (brownie + cookie). Blonde brownies were actually created before chocolate brownies.
• “Tear the Tags Off the Mattress Day”, Definitely not an event for the timid. However, if you crave excitement and like living on the edge, gird your loins and take courage! Ignore those posted warnings and rip those tags right off! And if you’re really gutsy, do the pillows too.
• Hurray for Buttons Day”, Button collecting, which is most popular in the US, varies from people having buttons in a container for future use, to casual collecting, to competitive collecting. (Competitive collecting??)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2010  “Iron Man 2” opens in movie theaters and eventually grosses $624 million worldwide (unlike most film series, the ‘threequel’ proves an even bigger hit in 2013)
2017  MTV Video Music Awards becomes the first major awards show to adopt gender-neutral categories – Emma Watson wins ‘Best film actor’, Millie Bobby Brown wins ‘Best TV actor’.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2016  Axl Rose takes over as lead singer for AC/DC, filling in for Brian Johnson at a show in Lisbon after Johnson is told that continuing the tour could result in permanent hearing loss. Rose fills in on the remaining dates as guest vocalist.
2016  Following his unexpected death on April 21 (and with his music unavailable on most streaming services), Prince takes the top 2 spots on the Billboard albums chart with “The Very Best of Prince” at #1 and “Purple Rain” at #2.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2000  Vladimir Putin is inaugurated president of Russia (the first time). This date in 2018, he is sworn in for his fourth term.
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000  Skydiver Mike Hennessy of West Springfield, Massachusetts celebrates his 50th birthday by jumping out of an airplane … 50 times
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The first thing a baby can vocalize is the ‘ma’ sound, which is why in almost every language the word for ‘mother’ begins with the letter ‘M’ or is some iteration of the ‘ma’ sound.
✓ All babies are color blind when they are born.
✓ The word “nice” originally meant ‘foolish’ or ‘stupid’.
✓ A human-on-human bite will almost always become infected.
✓ By the age of 60, most people have lost 50% of their taste buds.
✓ If you unfolded your brain, it would cover an ironing board.
MORE BS CLEAR SIGNS THAT YOU’RE A MOMMY:
• You have the ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors in the middle of the night, two bedrooms away, while your husband snores next to you.
• Peeing with an audience is part of the daily routine.
• You think of physical pain on three levels: pain, excruciating pain and stepping on a Lego.
• You realize you’ve been watching Nickelodeon alone, even though your kids have been in bed for an hour.
• You have a secret chocolate stash because frankly, you’re sick of sharing.
• You use your own spit to clean your kid’s face.
• You’ve been washing the same load of laundry for three days because you keep forgetting to dry it.
• You hire a sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.
• By the end of the day, brushing your teeth feels like a huge accomplishment.
-First published in Bs in 2017
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ JetBlue passengers who board a plane, then have to gate-check a bag will now be charged $65 for each carry-on. (And here’s the kicker: if you complain, you’re hit with a $50 complaining-about-the-$65-carry-on bag-fee . . .fee.)
➠ I just read that billions of years from now, Earth will have a 30-hour day, due to the interplay of gravity between Earth and moon. (In other words, that millennial sleeping in your basement may finally get a full day’s rest!)
➠ A 90-year-old New Jersey man has been charged with murdering his neighbor. (He is expected to serve one-one-hundredth of a life sentence…)
➠ Zoologists claim that Tigers have been known to seek revenge on those who have wronged them. (Q: What do you get when you cross a Tiger and a person who “wronged them”? A: A Tiger.)
➠ Did you Know: A Japanese zoo spent 4 years trying to mate a pair of hyenas before they eventually realized they were both males? (I bet they got some great LAUGHS out of that!??)
BS MOTHER’S DAY QUIZ:
• What country is affectionately called ‘Mother’ by its citizens? [Russia]
• What do you call the main circuit board in a computer? [The ‘motherboard’]
• According to the old proverb, what is the ‘Mother of Invention’? [Necessity]
• What was the collection of children’s stories published in 1697 by French poet Charles Perrault called? [“Tales of Mother Goose”]
• The British version of “Mother’s Day” is celebrated in MARCH. What’s it called? [“Mothering Sunday”]
• Where does ‘Mother-of-Pearl’ come from? [The abalone shellfish]
• What’s the maternal name for a loose, unbelted dress? [ A ‘Mother Hubbard’]
• What’s the proper name for a mother sheep? [A female sheep is called a ‘ewe’, but when she becomes a mommy, she’s a ‘dam’]
BS WEB GOODIE:
When your drunk friend says “I’m good”: https://tinyurl.com/mh6c58x6
BS PHONE STARTER:
What would be on the gag reel of your life?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way Mom told you to in the beginning.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 60% of women say they will kiss a man on the first date if he talks about THIS. What is it?
Answer: His mother
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.