Friday, May 19, 2000 Edition: #1811
Monday is “Victoria Day”, commemorating the birth of Queen Victoria (May 24, 1819), Britain’s longest-reigning monarch (1837-1901). Celebration of her birthday in Canada began in 1845. “Victoria Day” originated in 1901 after her death. Since 1952, it has been celebrated on the Monday preceding May 25th. As a public service, here’s some BS . . .
MAY 2-4 WEEKEND CAMPING TIPS:
• The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
• You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several Canada geese.
• You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with car.
• A potato baked in the coals for 1 hour makes an excellent meal. A potato baked in the coals for 3 hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
• You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on north side of your compass.
• Sleeping under the stars may involve trespassing on Shania Twain’s property.
• A lot of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
• In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle snoring tent-mate.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Tomorrow the Guess Who plays a special preview as a warm-up for their reunion tour at Winnipeg’s Crescentwood Community Centre which holds just 250 people (actually it seats 300, but hey — the band’s put on some weight eh?) . . . Tomorrow stupermodel Claudia Schiffer will wed boy toy Tim Jeffries on the Spanish island of Majorca (David Copperfield is the maid of honor) . . . But Pierce Brosnan has postponed this weekend’s plans to marry longtime companion Keely Shaye Smith at an Irish castle until his son fully recovers from that car accident . . . And the rumor of the week – unconfirmed reports say the lyrics to the “Friends” theme song are being changed from “I’ll be there for you” to “We make more than you . . .”.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito in the satirical comedy “The Big Kahuna”, the tale of 3 traveling salesmen from the Midwest on the verge of a make-or-break deal at an industry trade convention (premiered at the Toronto Film Festival last September) . . . Disney’s computer-animated Jurassic-era adventure “Dinosaur” . . . The Woody Allen comedy “Small Time Crooks”, in which Tracey Ullman, Hugh Grant & Jon Lovitz bumble through a crime caper . . . A group of college students run amok on a cross-country trip in the no-name comedy “Road Trip”.
27TH DAYTIME EMMY AWARDS:
• Tonight on CTV from NYC’s Radio City Music Hall, hosted by “All My Children’s” Susan Lucci, who was nominated 19 times before finally winning an Emmy, but isn’t even nominated this year.
• “The Young & the Restless” has 28 noms, more than twice its closest competitor, “Sesame Street”.
• Emmy-less Regis Philbin is nominated for both ‘Best Talk Show Host’ and ‘Best Game Show Host’ (“Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” is eligible due to an old rule that pre-dates the current proliferation of prime-time quiz shows).
• Barbara Walters will be presented a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ by Oprah Winfrey.
THE BULL SHEET 05.19.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [55] Pete Townshend, Chiswick ENG, dinosaur rock guitarist/singer (The Who-Tommy)
1949 [51] Dusty Hill, Dallas TX, classic rock bassist/singer (ZZ Top-Legs, Tush)
1968 [32] Mark Janssens, Surrey BC, NHL center (Chicago Blackhawks)
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [54] Cher (Cherilyn Sarkisian), El Centro CA, pop singer (Believe)/movie actress (Moonstruck)
1949 [51] Dave Thomas, St Catharines ON, movie actor (Coneheads)/TV actor (Grace Under Fire, Doug McKenzie-SCTV)
1963 [37] David Wells, Torrance CA, MLB pitcher (Toronto Blue Jays)
1965 [35] Stu Grimson, Kamloops BC, NHL winger (Anaheim Mighty Ducks)
1970 [30] Jason York, Nepean ON, NHL defenceman (Ottawa Senators)
SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [59] Bobby Cox, Tulsa OK, MLB manager (Atlanta Braves, ex-Toronto Blue Jays) who’s been ‘Manager of the Year’ in both major leagues
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Today is the beginning of “International Pickle Week”, recognizing the ‘world’s most humorous vegetable’. (Zucchini and squash are appealing that designation.)
Today is “National Bike to Work Day”, a day to ease the hassles of commuting by cycling to work. (Not to mention saving a few lives by creating less smog.)
Sunday is “National Waitresses/Waiters Day” (wouldn’t “Servers’ Day” be better?), set aside for restaurant managers and patrons to show appreciation for the efforts of servers.
PHONE STARTER: “Should you tip when service is bad?”
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1998 Millions of pagers stop working when a communications satellite loses track of Earth (“And there was silence across the land, and He saw that it was good.”)
1999 “Star Wars: Episode 1 — The Phantom Menace” opens in theaters (record $28.5 million on opening day, $100 million in record 5 days, $200 million in record 13 days)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1974 [26] 1st expansion team to win NHL’s Stanley Cup (Philadelphia Flyers)
1994 [06] 1st ‘genetically-engineered’ tomato approved for marketing (Frankenfood!)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] Preakness Stakes (Baltimore)
National Allergy/Asthma Awareness Month (AHHHHH-CHOOOOO!!!)
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:
Q: What was the Guess Who’s first hit record?
A: “Shakin’ All Over” in 1965. The group was then actually called Chad Allan & the Expressions, but Quality Records listed their name as ‘Guess Who?’ on the album jacket hoping to fool record buyers into thinking it was a more famous group in disguise.
THE LAST WORD: Happiness is wanting what you have.
