May 13 2020

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Wednesday, May 13, 2020   Edition: #6696

If You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!


★ The “Avatar” sequels might be some of the first movies to resume production after the coronavirus pandemic shut Hollywood down. New Zealand has approved new health and safety production protocols which allow production to start up again. The country has been praised for its handling of the COVID-19 pandemic, with only 1,497 reported cases and 21 deaths with a population of around 4.8 million. The four Avatar sequels, which are all being shot at the same time there, are budgeted at around $1 billion.
★ Facebook has launched a weeklong online celebration for the Class of 2020, which will be capped off by a streaming event with speeches from dozens of celebrities on Friday. The Friday event will begin at 2 pm ET and will be hosted by Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak. Previously announced speakers include Oprah Winfrey, Awkwafina, Jennifer Garner, Lil Nas X and Simone Biles. Among the new speakers added are Cardi B, DJ Khaled, La La Anthony, Kristen Bell, Selena Gomez, Sterling K. Brown, Matthew McConaughey and Milo Ventimiglia.
★ Fox has ordered the Mayim Bialik-led comedy “Call Me Kat” to series. The half-hour, multicamera show previously had a series commitment from the network and was set to shoot its pilot before production shutdown. It stars the “Big Bang Theory” alum as ‘Kat’, “a 39-year-old woman who struggles every day against society and her mother to prove that you can NOT have everything you want — and still be happy,” and according to its logline, that “is why she spent her life savings to open a Cat Café in Louisville, Kentucky.” Call Me Kat will premiere midseason.
★ Wedding bells were ringing on the latest episode of the web series “Some Good News with John Krasinski”. An engaged couple, John and Susan, made an appearance on the show after Krasinski learned of their familiar proposal story. It turns out the couple are big fans of “The Office”, so when John proposed to Susan, he reenacted how Jim proposed to Pam outside of a gas station on the show. Krasinski was so excited about the engagement that he went online and became an ordained minister so he could officiate their wedding. And he surprised the couple by gathering their family and close friends on a Zoom video meeting to perform the ceremony immediately. After officiating the ceremony, Krasinski had one more surprise up his sleeve. Almost the entire Office cast joined in the video wedding celebration, dancing to Chris Brown’s song ‘Forever’.
LINK (starts at 15:00):

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Bill Murray
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): David Spade, Kathryn Hahn, the Killers
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Hugh Laurie, Benjamin Gibbard
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Nick Kroll, Glenn Close
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Daisy Edgar-Jones, Paul Mescal, Leslie Odom Jr.
• “Conan” (TBS): Luke Wilson
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): June Diane Raphael, Denise Richards
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Gov. Gretchen Whitmer
• “The Talk” (CBS): Boris Kodjoe, Tom Lennon
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): James Marsden, Farnoosh Torabi
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Tim McGraw
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): A new Message From Montana, repeat segments with Shania Twain, Billy Ray Cyrus (R)
• “The Goldbergs” (ABC): Season 7 finale
• “Schooled” (ABC): Season 2 finale
• “American Housewife” (ABC): Season 4 finale
• “Single Parents” (ABC): Season 2 finale
• “Survivor” (CBS): Season 40 finale
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): The semi-finals. Comic Jay Pharoah joins the panelists

• Ed Sheeran — joined his friend Timothy Spoerer a school music teacher, on a Zoom call with his students, where he discussed his path to music and taught them to play his hit song, ‘Perfect’. He told The kids: ”I basically wasn’t very smart at school I thought I was an idiot for a very long time…I loved playing music, that’s what made me happiest.”
• Katy Perry – promises that a baby isn’t the only thing she’s delivering this year. During a Sunday night Facebook livestream, she confirmed that her fifth studio album will be released in 2020.
• Nirvana — The acoustic guitar Kurt Cobain played on the group’s “MTV Unplugged” session is expected to fetch about $1 million at auction in June. Julien’s Auctions has announced the 1959 Martin D-18E guitar that Cobain played for the 1993 live taping comes with a battered case, whose storage compartment contains a small suede bag where Cobain is said to have stashed his heroin.
• Weezer – debuted their new song ‘Blue Dream’ on “The Simpsons”. They voiced the band Sailor’s Delight on Sunday’s episode, where they were the house band on a romantic cruise taken by Homer and Marge Simpson. The new track is taken from Weezer’s upcoming LP, “Van Weezer”.
• Guns N’ Roses — A wedding cake topper featuring the real hair of guitarist Slash is for sale. It was apparently created for his 2001 wedding to Perla Ferrar, and auctioned off by Julien’s after the pair divorced in 2018. It is now being offered on eBay as a fixed-price “Buy It Now” listing at $3,000. |
• Zac Brown Band — On Sunday’s episode of the hit web series “Some Good News” John Krasinski officiated a couple’s wedding over Zoom and surprised them with the whole cast of “The Office”…and Zac Brown. Brown delivered an acoustic performance of the band’s new song ‘The Man Who Loves You the Most’.
• Florida Georgia Line – will release “6-Pack”, an EP that will include their current single ‘I Love My Country’ on May 22.

This could be the next step in allowing people to return to enjoying their favorite restaurants. The “Mediamatic Eten” eatery in Amsterdam is inviting diners to be seated inside one of their new outdoor glass concept ‘houses’, which can accommodate two people comfortably, or three with a bit of effort. The ‘Serres Séparées’ are situated on the restaurant’s waterside patio. Long wooden planks are used to serve diners as a way of ensuring staff can maintain a 6-foot distance. Although the concept is still in the testing phase until it gets approval from authorities, it does give us a more positive outlook of what dining could look like in the near future.
(If you have any idea of some of the other things that have been approved by authorities in Amsterdam, I think you’ll agree this one will probably get the thumbs up!)
(So, you’re actually eating outside the restaurant, but you’re inside, but you’re still technically “eating out”?)

First, the bad news. Mexico is dealing with a shortage of…beer. Deemed a “non-essential” activity, beer production was halted in the country more than a month ago, and that has resulted in a severe shortage. There are even reports that, as the country’s stockpile has dwindled, a beer black market has risen up, where sellers are charging more than twice the normal price. Now, the good news. There is too much beer in Germany. Unable to deliver their product to hotels and restaurants due to coronavirus restrictions, owners of the Willinger brewery in Hesse faced the prospect of their suds going to waste. So, rather than throwing it away, they decided to give it away. Last week, Willinger dished out 690 gallons of light and dark beer – free of charge to the dozens of people who stood patiently in line outside the brewery, all the while keeping to social distancing recommendations. Many took full buckets and boxes home with them.
(Beer making is only a “non-essential” activity if importing beer IS an “essential” activity!)
(Well, they LEFT with full boxes…they arrived home with considerably less…)
(And let’s face it, when was the last time you had the chance to bring home a “bucket” full of beer?)

• Materials:  Disposable fiber masks should never be reused. If you are using a fabric mask, use a breathable, high-performance fabric. The tighter weave structure, the better.
• Washing machine:  Putting your mask in the laundry and drying on a high setting will get it clean and ready to re-use, according to the CDC.
• Hand washing:  Detergents, laundry soap, and even hand soap are strong enough to combat flu viruses, according to the CDC. Refraining from touching your face is recommended to prevent any chance of infection.
• Bleach:  Bleach is not a recommended cleaning agent for face masks—even in a diluted solution – because inhaling the ensuing fumes from the mask could cause health problems. That means no Lysol or Clorox either.
• Microwave and boiling:  While microwaving might be an effective way to kill the virus, there is some concern that it may escape the oven into your kitchen. Boiling your mask is not a good idea due to fiber degradation, which could allow the virus through.
• Keep spares:  NYC Health Dept. guidelines suggest keeping at least two cloth face masks on hand, so you can wash used masks at least once a day.

✗ “I could care less”:  Should be “I couldn’t care less,” which means that you flat out don’t care at all. (Including about correct grammar).
✗ “For all intensive purposes”:  The correct expression is “for all intents and purposes.” It came from an old English law that used the phrase “to all intents, constructions, and purposes.”
✗ “Peaked my interest” (P-E-A-K-E-D):  The correct saying is “piqued my interest (P-I-Q-U-E-D),” where “piqued” means “aroused or excited.”
✗ “Honed in”:  You may think you are honed in on your end-of-quarter presentation, but you’re not. You are homed in. “Hone” means to sharpen. (I’ve been “homed in” for about the last 2 months…)
✗ “Deep-seeded”:  The right way to describe something that is firmly established at a deep or profound level is “deep-seated”. (Unless you are talking about planting tomatoes…)

Some experts are claiming that coronavirus lockdown could help wipe out HIV in the UK. Dr. Alan McGowan says that the UK has a “unique opportunity” to stop the spread of HIV as fewer people are having sex. HIV transmissions have “plummeted” since lockdown and people are encouraged to get tested because “it takes a little bit of time for HIV to show in tests, (and) because people haven’t had sex (lately), the vast majority of people with HIV can be picked up with the test.”


1939 [81] Harvey Keitel, Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Reservoir Dogs’, “Pulp Fiction”, “From Dusk till Dawn”)

1950 [70] Stevie Wonder (Steveland Morris), Saginaw MI, singer-songwriter (‘Superstition’, ‘I Just Called to Say I Love You’)/over 30 top 10 hits & 25 Grammy Awards/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1961 [59] Dennis Rodman, Trenton NJ, retired pro basketball player (5-time NBA champion/2-time all-star with the Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls)/retired wrestler and actor/friend and visitor of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un

1964 [56] Stephen Colbert, Washington DC, TV host (“The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” since 2015, “The Colbert Report” 2005-14)/comedy writer-reporter (“Daily Show” 1997-2005)

1966 [54] Darius Rucker, Charleston SC, country singer (‘Wagon Wheel’)/rock singer (Hootie & the Blowfish-‘Only Wanna Be With You’)

1979 [41] Mickey Madden, Austin TX, pop bassist (Maroon 5-‘Moves Like Jagger’)

1985 [35] Iwan Rheon, Carmarthen Wales, TV actor (‘Mick Mars’ In “The Dirt” 2019, “Game of Thrones” 2013-16)

1986 [34] Lena Dunham, NYC, TV comedy creator-writer-actress (‘Hannah Horvath’ on “Girls” 2012-17)

1986 [34] Robert Pattinson, London UK, movie actor (“Twilight Saga”) COMING UP…”The Devil All the Time”

• “Hummus Day”, celebrated since 2012 to salute the spread made from cooked, mashed chickpeas blended with tahini, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and garlic. (The stuff also makes a good wall spackling.)

• “Leprechaun Day”, dedicated to the wee elves of Ireland. According to folklore, if you catch one, he has to give you his pot of gold. (We just hope it’s not full of sham rocks!)

• “Tulip Day”, celebrated in several countries to welcome Spring. It’s a good excuse to drop by your favorite florist and pick up a tulip bouquet, but don’t expect their floral scent to enhance your home … tulips are virtually fragrance-free.

• “Apple Pie Day”, The first apple pie recipe was printed in England in 1381. Ingredients included good apples, good spices, figs, raisins, pears, saffron and cofyn (a type of pastry crust).

• “Frog Jumping Day”, dedicated to frogs that jump, to jumping like a frog, to frog jumping contests, and Mark Twain’s short story “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County,” which appears to be the inspiration for the day.

• “Receptionists’ Day”, in recognition of the frontline personnel in business and education, the ones responsible for a good first impression.

[Thurs] Dance Like a Chicken Day
[Thurs] Buttermilk Biscuit Day
[Fri] Endangered Species Day
[Fri] NASCAR Day

2004 [16] The final episode of “Frasier” is watched by 33 million people

2012 [08] After 8 seasons, the final episode of “Desperate Housewives” airs

2013 [07] Angelina Jolie reveals in an op-ed piece in “New York Times” that she’s undergone a double mastectomy to reduce her risk of breast cancer

1996 [24] Oasis become the fastest selling group in UK history after all 330,000 tickets for their summer shows sell out in just nine hours

1958 [62] The trademark “Velcro” is registered

2012 [08] Following a record $207 million opening the week before, “The Avengers” pulls in another $103.2 million, making it the first film to surpass $100 million in its second weekend


✓ Dandelions are not weeds, but are from the same family as sunflowers.
✓ Every part of the dandelion is edible.
✓ One cup of dandelion greens equals 535% of the daily recommended Vitamin K and 112% of Vitamin A.
✓ A dandelion seed can travel up to five miles (8km) before it lands.
✓ The name ‘dandelion’ is taken from the French word “dent de lion” meaning lion’s tooth, referring to the coarsely-toothed leaves.
✓ Until the 1800s, people sometimes removed grass to plant dandelions.
-RealFarmacy, MyDandelionisaflower

• Don’t Stand So Close to Me
• Dancing With Myself
• U Can’t Touch This
• Don’t Come Around Here No More
• All By Myself
• Almost Cut My Hair
• What’s Going On
• From a Distance
• Happy Birthday (twice while washing your hands)
• “Twilight Zone” theme
LINK: Also This

Best of BS . . .

• Bob Seger & the Silver Mullet Band
• Jane’s Addition
• Men at Twerk
• Men Without Hits
• Picnic! at the Disco
• Sly & the Family Store
• Runs in Hoses
• The Grateful Dad
• Moron 5
• Typo Negative
• (***Caution***) The Dookie Brothers
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

➠ A poll found that 90% of Brits don’t want UK’s coronavirus lock-down eased yet.  (The other 10% couldn’t take the survey because they were “too busy” on the beach.)
➠ A judge sentenced an 82-year-old Arizona man to 51 years in prison.  (His attorneys are trying to plea it down to the death penalty.)
➠ Florida man was arrested after asking deputies for booze and ice cream. (Or, as Gary Busey calls it, “Ordering Delivery”.)
➠ Psychologists examined Internet trolls and found that the majority of them are narcissistic, psychopathic and/or sadistic.  (The good news? There’s a new dating site for narcissists. Called “Me-Harmony”.)
➠ Fact of the Day: If you pass an average amount of gas for 6 years and 9 months, it’s enough to create the energy of an atomic bomb.  (I don’t know about an atomic bomb, but you can definitely drown out a full church choir. Found that out on Sunday.)

Pretty much true (***Caution: language***):

• Which social media platform came out in 2003?
a. Facebook
b. Twitter
c. MySpace [CORRECT]
d. Friendster

• What does the “E” in ‘Chuck E. Cheese’ stand for?
a. Entertainment [CORRECT]
b. Edward
c. Ernest
d. Egghead

• As an adult, how many teeth should you have in your mouth?
a. 30
b. 32 [CORRECT]
c. 34
d. 31

What hobby or interest of yours would be most surprising to the people you work with?

I thought I was in a bad mood, but it’s been a few years so I guess this is who I am now.

Question:  9% of us say we have dreamed that THIS happened to them at work. What is it?
Answer:  Showed up to work naked

Be patient with yourself. Nothing in nature blooms all year.


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