Friday, May 18, 2007        Edition: #3534
Bully For You!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There’ll be no “BS” service for Monday, Victoria Day. Happy long weekend, everybody!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
SATURDAY Disney plans to raise $3 million for the Make-A-Wish Foundation by selling tickets to the ‘World Premiere Celebration’ of “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” at Disneyland in California – at $1,500 a pop! (stars Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, and Orlando Bloom are all expected) . . . SATURDAY Nashville’s “Grand Ole Opry“ pays tribute to country legend Porter Wagoner, who’s celebrating 50 years in the music biz (he’ll re-team for a duet with Dolly Parton, whom he discovered) . . . SUNDAY Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson hosts the 2007 “World Stunt Awards” (airs MAY 25th on AMC), honoring Hollywood’s finest movie stunts and those who design & perform them . . . Movie star Jennifer Garner is pitching a new TV show, on which she’d serve as executive produce and occasional guest, that would resemble “The View” – only for moms (former “So You Think You Can Dance” host Lauren Sanchez-Whitesell would anchor) . . . 33-year-old TV actress Jenna Fischer (receptionist ‘Pam Beesly’ on NBC-TV’s “The Office”) is expected to make a full recovery within 4-to-6 weeks after breaking 4 bones in her lower back in a fall down a flight of marble stairs while doing promotional rounds in NYC – in high heels (hopefully ‘Jim’ will be there for her) . . . TV networks ABC and Univision are teaming up to create a Spanish version of “Desperate Housewives” to be titled “Amas de Casa Desesperadas” (you’ll need to know that ‘cheater’ in Spanish is ‘actuador’) . . . And Paris Hilton is being cut some slack in recognition of her ‘good conduct’, so she’ll only have to serve half her upcoming 45-day sentence and it will be in a  ‘Special Needs Housing Unit’ reserved for high-profile inmates (we always knew she belonged on the short bus).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aretha Franklin – Word has it the 65-year-old ‘Queen of Soul’ is set to wed for a 3rd time, to longtime boyfriend Willie Wilkerson Jr. She’s been spotted having wedding dress fittings in NYC.
• Dolores O’ Riordan – TONIGHT the former Cranberries lead singer does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Elvis Costello & the Imposters – TONIGHT they perform an exclusive webcast concert for “Late Show with David Letterman” (CBS).
• The Exies – TONIGHT the Los Angeles rockers (“Different Than You”) are on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Kelly Clarkson – She says her mother has no shortage of nude snapshots featuring a young Kelly baring all, because she was always ripping off her clothes. Coming soon to YouTube …
• Linkin Park – TONIGHT they rock “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Maroon 5 – TOMORROW they’re the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by TV actor Zach Braff (“Scrubs”).
• Moby – He made a fortune licensing every single song off his “Play” album for advertising and soundtrack use a few years back. Now he’s offering about 60 pieces of original music on his website for student and non-profit filmmakers to use … free of charge.
• Pink Floyd – TONIGHT band co-founder Roger Waters begins a 24-city North American tour in West Palm Beach FL. As well as other material, he and his new backup band will perform the landmark album “Dark Side of the Moon” … in its entirety.
• Tina Turner – TONIGHT, some 7 years after her retirement, the 67-year-old singing legend is performing a one-off gig at a fundraiser for a children’s charity in London, England.
• ZZ Top – They’ve canceled their European tour so bassist Dusty Hill can be treated for a benign inner-ear growth that’s affecting his hearing. Upcoming US tour dates THIS SUMMER are not expected to be infected … er, affected.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
• “Shrek the Third” ( PG Animated Family ): Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy & Antonio Banderas are all back to voice this 2nd sequel to the 2001 smash hit. In this instalment, ‘Shrek’ struggles with the prospect of becoming king of ‘Far, Far Away’ after the death of ‘King Harold’, father of his wife ‘Princess Fiona’. So he sets out with ‘Donkey’ & ‘Puss in Boots’ to find the only other possible heir to the throne – nerdy, insecure cousin ‘Artie’, voiced by Justin Timberlake. Director Chris Miller first thought of Timberlake for the role after being impressed by his guest appearance on “Saturday Night Live”. JT’s former gf Cameron Diaz apparently gave the okay. Co-stars Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Eric Idle, and John Krasinski (“The Office”). Pretty much a guaranteed blockbuster: The first 2 films pulled in a total of over $1.4 billion worldwide.
NET: http://www.shrek.com/main.html
• Opening in Limited Release: Interestingly the ongoing battle between formerly married acting couple Alec Baldwin & Kim Basinger now moves to the box office as both have new movies released on the same day. Baldwin stars with Freddie Prinze Jr & Scott Caan in “Brooklyn Rules”, about 3 guys who grow up together on the mean streets of 1980s Brooklyn. Basinger’s latest is “Even Money”, co-starring Forest Whitaker & Nick Cannon, a drama that brings together 9 people who are all addicted to gambling. Odds are neither film is going to set the world on fire.
NET: http://www.brooklynrulesmovie.com/
NET: http://www.yarifilmgroup.com/films/evenmoney/

CAT FIGHT CAUSES:
A recent survey of 500 women asked what causes feuds between femme friends. The top tiff starters between women – betraying a secret, returning a borrowed item in poor condition, and always changing plans. (Guys only get PO’d if someone steals their beer.)
– Reuters

GETTING CANNES-ED:
The cost of premiering a movie at the “Cannes Film Festival” (through MAY 27th) has skyrocketed as the US dollar drops in value and the festival buzz increases in value. While the average Hollywood premiere might cost $750,000, it’s estimated LAST YEAR’s premiere of “The Da Vinci Code” at Cannes cost circa $4 million. Why? Hotel rooms at the swankiest hotels go for up to $3,000 a night, with many demanding a 12-day minimum stay. And the stars expect to be treated royally. When the producers of Mark Wahlberg’s latest film “We Own the Night” balked at putting up his 5-member posse at the Hotel Du Cap THIS YEAR, Wahlberg simply told them he’s staying home. (Proving TV’s “Entourage” really IS based on his life.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

PERSONAL NEEDS:
According to a recent study, the average male keeps 6 personal items in the family bathroom whereas the average woman has an average of 65. (Ask listeners for the most unusual item their partners have jammed in the john.)
– AFP

BS AMAZING FACT:
A British documentary called “Human Footprint” has crunched numbers and calculated the average amount of almost everything in our lives. For example, during the average lifespan of 2.5 billion seconds, the average human will eat 10,000 chocolate bars, drink 7,500 quarts of milk, take 7,100 baths/showers, have sex 4,200 times, and shed 15 gallons of tears.
– Channel4.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“My greatest competition is … well, me. I’m the Ali of today. I’m the Marvin Gaye of today. I’m the Bob Marley of today. I’m the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now.”
– R&B singer R Kelly, who needs to give his head a shake.

BS CHRONOMETER 05.18.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [55] George Strait, Poteet TX, country singer (“Wrapped”, “It Just Comes Natural”)/most #1 hits of any country recording artist (53 and counting)/2007 “ACM Awards” for ‘Song of the Year’ and ‘Single Record of the Year’ for “Give It Away”

1955 [52] Chow Yun-Fat (Yun-Fat Chow), Hong Kong, movie actor (“Bulletproof Monk”, “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘Captain Sao Feng’ in “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”, opening NEXT WEEKEND.

1961 [46] Barry Graul, Greenville TX, pop/contemporary Christian musician (MercyMe -“So Long Self”, “In the Blink of An Eye”)

1970 [37] Tina Fey, Upper Darby PA, TV producer/actress (“30 Rock” since 2006)/TV writer (“Saturday Night Live” 1997-2006)/screenwriter (“Mean Girls”)

1975 [32] Jack Johnson, Oahu HI, pop singer/songwriter (“Upside Down”, “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing”)

SATURDAY –
PBS newscaster Jim Lehrer (“News Hour With Jim Lehrer”) is 73; Movie actor Peter Mayhew (‘Chewbacca’ in “Star Wars”) is 63; Classic rock guitarist Pete Townshend (The Who) is 62; Classic rock bassist/singer Dusty Hill (ZZ Top) is 58; Classic rock drummer Phil Rudd (AC/DC) is 53.

SUNDAY –
Oldies singer Joe Cocker (“You Are So Beautiful”) is 63; Retired pop diva Cher (“Believe”) is 61;
Canadian actor Dave Thomas (“SCTV”) is 58; TV personality Ted Allen (“Queer Eye For the Straight Guy”) is 42; Rapper Busta Rhymes (“Touch It”) is 35; TV actor Matt Czuchry (“Gilmore Girls”) is 30.
 
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bike-to-Work Day”, the 13th annual observed on the 3rd FRIDAY of MAY as a highlight of “National Bike Month”. It’s promoted as part of the solution to many of today’s problems: Obesity, traffic congestion, and air pollution. Experts say the biggest reason why North American commuters refuse to try biking is fear of … body odor.
• “International Museum Day”, established in 1977 by the International Council of Museums to draw attention to the world’s museums, no matter how large, small or strange, such as ….
– Air Sickness Bag Virtual Museum NET: http://www.airsicknessbags.com/
– Amsterdam Tattoo Museum (Amsterdam, Netherlands)
– Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum (San Antonio TX)
– Bata Shoe Museum (Toronto ON)
– Burnt Food Museum (Arlington MA) NET: http://burntfoodmuseum.com/
– Canadian Canoe Museum (Peterborough ON)
– Exotic World Exotic Dancing Museum (Helendale CA)
– The Hair Museum (Independence MO)
– International UFO Museum & Research Center (Roswell NM)
– LeRoy House & Jell-O Gallery (LeRoy NY)
– Museum of Bad Art (Boston MA)
– The Museum of Dirt (Boston MA)
– National Museum of Funeral History (Houston TX)
– Riceworld (Los Banos, Philippines)
– Squished Penny Museum (Washington DC)
– Insectarium de Montréal (Montréal QC)
– Ukrainian Museum of Canada (Saskatoon SK)
– Vodka Museum (Moscow, Russia) with over 50,000 bottles on display. Visitors are offered 10 different types to taste.
• “Molokai Ka Hula Piko”, a Hawaiian cultural festival celebrating the hula dance.
• “No Dirty Dishes Day”, a convenient excuse to eat 3 meals in a restaurant.
• “Visit Your Relatives Day”, a day to renew relationships with seldom-seen relatives. Um, maybe there’s a reason they are seldom seen?

SATURDAY –
• “FA Cup Final”, England’s annual Premier League soccer championship, featuring Chelsea vs Manchester United at the new Wembley Stadium.
• “Plant Something Day”, which many people probably would if they could only be assured the plant would grow. What’s the most foolproof plant you can stick in your garden?
• “Preakness Stakes” at Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore MD, the 132nd running of the 2nd jewel in the Triple Crown of thoroughbred horse racing.
• “US Armed Forces Day”, observed annually since 1950 on the 3rd SATURDAY in MAY to salute those in all branches of the military who serve & protect their country.

SUNDAY –
• “Eliza Doolittle Day”, a day named in honor of the lead character in the famous musical “My Fair Lady” to encourage the proper use of language. Hey, that ain’t too bad an idea!
• “Virgin Festival”, the first annual in Vancouver at UBC’s Thunderbird Stadium through MONDAY, featuring about 30 artists on 2 stages, including My Chemical Romance, Billy Talent, Muse, The Killers, AFI, Metric, and Hot Hot Heat. (The 2nd annual Toronto edition of the “V Festival” takes place SEPTEMBER 8-9.)
• “Weights & Measures Day”, in celebration of the 1875 treaty that established the International Bureau of Weights and Measures, thereby standardizing values. That means you’re just as fat in Katmandu as you are at home.

MONDAY –
• “Victoria Day”, a truly Canadian holiday begun in 1845 as a celebration of national unity. It commemorates the birth of Queen Victoria on May 24, 1819, who became Britain’s longest-reigning monarch (1837-1901).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1927 [80] Silent movie actress Norma Talmadge begins a tradition by preserving her hand prints and signature in cement at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood (legend has it that it only occurs because she accidentally tumbles into the wet cement)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1999 [08] Backstreet Boys release “Millennium” album (1.13 million copies sell the first week)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1986 [21] Chung Kwung Ying performs 2,750 ‘Hand-Stand Push-Ups’

2004 [03] Arizona Diamondbacks’ 40-year-old lefty Randy Johnson becomes ‘Oldest MLB Pitcher to Throw a Perfect Game’, beating Atlanta Braves 2-0

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Wait Staff Day
[Tues] “Dancing With the Stars” finalé (ABC)
[Tues] Smashing Pumpkins “Zeitgeist” tour opens (Paris, France)
[Tues] Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day
[Wed] World Turtle Day
[Wed] Shavuot begins (Jewish)
[Thurs-May 28] Star Wars Celebration IV (Los Angeles)
[1 week today] “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” opens in movie theaters
This Week Is … Public Relations Week
This Month Is … Better Hearing & Speech Month

BULL’S BITS

BS WAYS YOU CAN TELL IT’S THE MAY 2-4 WEEKEND:
• People insist on calling it the ‘May 2-4 Weekend’ even though it’s the May 2-1 Weekend.
• No parking spaces within a block of the Beer Store.
• For no apparent reason, price of gasoline surges to a new all-time high.
• People who never venture outdoors any other time of the year cram onto every available campsite and sit around on makeshift camp stools made from cases of empties.
• Every 2 minutes, some idiot calls the radio station asking, “Where’s the fireworks, eh?”
• All weekend, Canadians ask one another, “Who the hell’s Victoria anyhow?”
• Long range forecast … rain.

BS LAWS STILL ON THE BOOKS:
• In Fort Madison, Iowa the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for 15 minutes before attending a fire.
• In Georgia, you have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by ‘fighting words’.
• In Hibbing, Minnesota it shall be the duty of all policemen to kill all cats running at large.
• You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
• In New York, a fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.
• In Norway, you may not spay your female dog or cat. However, you may neuter the males of the species.
• By South Carolina state law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage MUST take place.
• You must pay a fine of $600 in Thailand if you’re caught throwing away chewed bubblegum on the sidewalk. If you do not pay the fine, you are jailed.
• No children may attend school with their breath smelling of wild onions in West Virginia.

BS PHONE STARTER:
About 20% of pet owners feed their pets ‘people food’ on a daily basis, which experts say is one reason our pets are porky. What weird food item does your pet love?

BS ‘THIS-OR-THAT’:
You run down the list and ask a crew member/studio guest/listener to pick their preference …
• Harley or Schwinn?
• American League or National League?
• Stairs or Escalator?
• Wonder Bread or French Baguette?
• “CSI” or “Grey’s Anatomy”?
• Beach or Mountains?
• Fishing or Camping?
• Wine or Beer?
• Golf or Gardening?
• Caribbean or Mediterranean?

BS TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Fergie – “Glamorous”
4. Ne-Yo – “Because of You”
3. Huey – “Pop Lock & Drop”
2. Mims – “This Is Why I’m Hot”
1. Akon – “Don’t Matter”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
When I was little, my dad used to make me stand in a closet for 5 minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Under age 6 you have more of THESE than at any other time in your life.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Tastebuds.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It can be a thin line between genius and moron.

HOW TO CHANGE SETTINGS FOR MORE RELIABLE E-MAIL:
NET: http://radiobullsheet.blogspot.com/