May 3, 2007

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Thursday, May 3, 2007        Edition: #3523
Sheet For Brains!

TODAY (through next TUESDAY) Britain’s 80-year-old Queen Elizabeth II makes her 4th-ever state visit to the USA, beginning with a celebration of the 400th anniversary of the founding of Jamestown VA, the first permanent English settlement in America (1607) . . . TODAY civil rights activist Reverend Al Sharpton is leading a ‘March For Decency’ in NYC which will stop at the offices of all major record companies in an attempt to persuade rap music to clean up its act . . . TONIGHT at the “Classical Brit Awards” in London, Paul McCartney (“Ecce Cor Meum”) and Sting (“Songs From the Labyrinth”) vie for ‘Best Album’ . . . Movie actor Nicholas Cage has just added to his ever-increasing real estate portfolio by snapping up a 9,000-sq-ft Georgian townhouse in Bath, England that features an indoor swimming pool for the bargain price of just $8-million (a little under half what he got to make “Next”) . . . Location shooting in Utah on “High School Musical 2 “, the sequel to LAST YEAR’s surprise mega-hit TV movie, is complete and the finished product is now scheduled to debut on the Disney Channel AUGUST 17th . . . “Spider-Man 3“ has had an even bigger opening in Asia than its 2 predecessors, setting box office records in South Korea & Hong Kong, among other countries where it debuted on TUESDAY . . . And rocker Tommy Lee, who moved back in with ex-wife Pamela Anderson & their 2 sons earlier THIS YEAR while renovations are being done on his own home, has now further fueled speculation the duo are getting back together romantically by buying an island resort property for her in Dubai (they divorced in 1998 after 3 years of marriage).

• Alice Cooper – TONIGHT the classic rocker does “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Backstreet Boys – Yep, it seems “Backstreet’s Back” one more time, with a comeback album reportedly close to completion. 27-year-old Nick Carter has buffed up his bod’ to hit the stage again by dropping 30 lbs in just 6 weeks. (Watch him pull a Nicole Ritchie and pass out.)
• Billy Currington – The country star’s 2nd album, “Doin’ Somethin’ Right”, has just been certified as officially Platinum for shipments of 1 million copies.
• Britney Spears – TONIGHT her sometimes on-sometimes off comeback shows (where she & her dancers are headlined as ‘The M&Ms) are scheduled to continue with an appearance at the House of Blues in LA. A further date has just been added for the Las Vegas House of Blues at the Mandalay Bay resort this SUNDAY.
• Fall Out Boy – They were so moved by a recent  Invisible Children charity fund-raiser in Los Angeles that planning to travel to Uganda to see how the money will be used.
• Finger Eleven – TODAY they appear on “MuchOnDemand” (MuchMusic).
• James Brown – TONIGHT the Soul Generals, his 17-piece back-up band for 20 years, kicks off a tour at NYC’s famed Apollo Theater on what would have been Brown’s 74th birthday.
• Macy Gray – TONIGHT she guests on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• My Chemical Romance – Their tour with Brit rockers Muse has ground to a temporary halt after members from both bands and their crews came down with food poisoning following a show at William & Mary College in Williamsburg VA.
• Tori Amos – TONIGHT she performs on “Late Show With David Letterman. (CBS).     

A selection of movies in the making …
• “How to Marry a Millionaire” – Nicole Kidman is onboard to star in this remake of the 1953 romantic comedy that featured Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall, and Betty Grable in a story of 3 women’s quest to find mega-rich husbands. Kidman is quickly becoming the queen of remakes, having already done “Bewitched” and “The Stepford Wives”.
• “The Legend of Hogzilla” – The true-life story of the hunt for an 8-foot-long, 800-lb wild boar in Georgia is the basis for this upcoming indie horror flick. Chris Griffin, the guide who shot the huge porker in 2004, is serving as a consultant on the film. Photos of the slain super-swine put the tiny town of Alapaha, 180 miles south of Atlanta, on the map at the time. Tryouts are currently underway to find some 200 locals to act as extras when production begins.
• “The Mummy 3“ – 26-year-old Aussie actor Luke Ford has been picked to pair with 38-year-old star Brendan Fraser (“The Mummy [1999]; “The Mummy Returns” [2001]) in a father-son relationship. The thinking is that the future of the franchise can eventually be passed on to Ford. A shape-shifting mummy will be the villain, played by Jet Li, and a replacement is currently being sought for Rachel Weisz, who has passed on the new instalment. Shooting is expected to begin THIS SUMMER in Montréal before moving on to China.
• “Night Watch” – “House” actor Hugh Laurie (FOX) is jumping to the bigscreen to co-star with Chris Evans (“Fantastic Four”) as a pair of LAPD internal affairs officers. The crime drama follows the story of a hard-drinking LA cop (Keanu Reeves) who is framed by a onetime mentor (Oscar-winner Forest Whitaker) for the killing of a fellow officer. Shooting begins THIS MONTH.

TODAY in Bath, England contractor Dave Paradise will have a tough time voting in the local elections. That’s because both his wife, Carol, and he ex-wife, Shirley, are running for city council. To make things even more complicated, all 3 share the same house which Dave converted to a duplex when he and Shirley divorced back in 1988. With 2 council seats up for grabs, it’s possible both women could win. In that case, the wife and the ex-wife say they’ll drive to council meetings together. (Alec Baldwin needs to talk to these people.)
– “Daily Mail”

A new 55-story condominium development planned for Austin TX called ‘The Austonian’ will include several intriguing innovations. The complex’s 10th floor will feature an indoor ‘urban garden’; and there’ll also be a lap pool, a billiard room, an outdoor movie screen, plus a self-cleaning toilet specially scented to attract … dogs. After using the indoor doggy park, condo owners will simply push a button on their electronic key fob and a mechanical scraper will remove residue and send it to the sanitary system. What’s all this cost? Prices range from $550,000 all the way up to $3.8 million. (Coincidentally, also the Gross Domestic Product of Uganda.)

The stuff we think; the things we do …
• 77% of women over age 40 say they wouldn’t want to return to their 20’s because their love lives are better now.
• 42% of women admit they find ‘love handles’ on men a turn-on.
• 35% of men say their favorite brand of cereal hasn’t changed since they were a kid.
• 34% of guys have lied to their partners about being in touch with an ex-.
• 13% of new couples who originally met online won’t admit it.
• 8% of men & 6% of women admit they don’t have a romantic bone in their body.

If modern life is tiring you out, you’re not alone. A new study shows that pedestrians all over the world are walking faster than a decade ago, with an average increase in speed of about 10%. Psychologists say part of the reason may be that the rapid advances in technology are making us all a bit more impatient and developing an increasing need for speed. According to the study, Singapore now has the fastest walkers in the world. (Wanna relieve stress? Learn to lollygag.)
– Reuters

A new paw patch for pets developed by Japan’s Medical Life Care Giken purports to measure the stress level of dogs & cats by detecting excessive sweat secretion, believed to be a sure sign of strain. The round mini-patch is applied to the center pad of an animal’s paw and changes color when perspiration is detected. The product goes on sale later THIS YEAR to take advantage of the current pet boom in Japan, where doting pet owners are known to go to overboard to protect their pets’ well-being, patronizing pet masseurs and even animal acupuncturists. BTW, the company also makes a similar patch for humans. (The ‘Pit Patch’?)
– “Nikkei Weekly”

• An average person laughs about 15 times a day. (Less during this show.)
• The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes. (Less during this show.)
• Every person has a unique tongue print. (Studio experiment! Get the purple Kool-Aid out!)


1919 [88] Pete Seeger, NYC, folk singer/songwriter/political activist receiving new attention thanks to the Bruce Springsteen album, “We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions”  FACTOID: The 23-track concert CD/DVD “Bruce Springsteen with the Seeger Sessions Band Live in Dublin” is due out JUNE 5th.

1946 [61] Greg Gumbel, New Orleans LA, TV sportscaster (“The NFL on CBS”)

1951 [56] Christopher Cross (Geppert), San Antonio TX, oldies singer/songwriter (“Sailing”, “Ride Like the Wind”)/5 Grammy Awards (1981)

1953 [54] Bruce Hall, Champaign IL, classic rock musician (REO Speedwagon-“Keep on Loving You”, “Can’t Fight This Feeling”)

1959 [48] Dave Ball, Blackpool UK, classic rock musician (Soft Cell-“Tainted Love”, “Torch”)

1975 [32] Dulé Hill, Orange NJ, TV actor (“Psych” since 2006, “The West Wing” 1999-2006)

• “Hug Your Cat Day”, a highlight of “National Pet Week”. Um, good luck with this idea!

• “Significant Other Day”, sort of an anniversary celebration for unwed couples. (Meaning, the male half will forget.)

• “Wordsmith Day”. Wow, how scintillating yet somehow egregious!

• “World Press Freedom Day”, as declared by the UN to recognize the value of freedom of expression, and the sacrifices journalist have made to attain this freedom. (And the right to get into sports events with a free pass.)

2002 [05] “Spider-Man” opens in movie theaters (“Spider Man 3” opens TONIGHT at midnight)

1934 [73] 1st-ever ‘Comic Book’ is published, “Famous Funnies” from Dell Books

1957 [50] Brooklyn Dodgers’ owner Walter O’Malley agrees to move the National League baseball team from Flatbush to Los Angeles

1971 [36] 1st ‘Telephone Answering Machine’ (next day the term ‘phone rage’ is coined)

[Fri] Relationship Renewal Day
[Fri] Scrapbook Day
[Fri] Weather Observer’s Day
[Fri] International Tuba Day
[Sat] Cinco de Mayo
[Sat] 2007 Kentucky Derby
[Sat] No Diet Day
[Sun] Astronomy Day
This Week Is … Cartoon Art Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Fungal Infection Awareness Month


• Whyzit we don’t ever celebrate a ‘Full Sun’?
• Whyzit we say we know it ‘by heart’ when our brain did all the work?
• Whyzit golfers shout ‘Fore!’? Shouldn’t they yell ‘Get the hell outta the way!’?
• Whyzit we call them ‘elevators’ when they go up AND down?
• Whyzit when you blow in your dog’s face he gets all mad but when you take him in the car he immediately sticks his head out the window?
• Whyzit cool to be a ‘daddy’s girl’ but sad to be a ‘mommy’s boy’?
• Whyzit when someone eats something that’s a bit ‘off’ they insist you taste it so you can see how vile it is?
• Whyzit cats don’t pant?

Ristorantes are like restaurants … only more expensive.

Today’s Question: The average person will find they do THIS 16 times a day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Swear.

Mansions are built by workers who will never live in mansions.


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