Friday, May 19, 2006       Edition: #3286
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
SATURDAY the 30th “Prince’s Trust” charity concert in Britain at the Tower of London will include performances by Pink, Ozzy Osbourne, Annie Lennox, Lionel Richie & the surviving Bee Gees (the annual event begun by Prince Charles aids disadvantaged young people in the UK) . . . SUNDAY Montgomery Gentry hosts the Academy of Country Music’s 3rd annual celebrity motorcycle ride in Las Vegas where the stars on hogs are expected to include Keith Urban, Van Zant, Chely Wright, Trick Pony, and Emerson Drive (a free after-concert will feature Big & Rich, Cowboy Troy, and Montgomery Gentry) . . . Proudly clean & sober actor Charlie Sheen, mired in a divorce battle with wife Denise Richards, has signed up with MillionaireMatch.com, a dating website limited to 7-figure-earners, because he can no longer hang out in bars (online he identifies himself as a Hollywood talent agent) . . . Random House is upping the first printing of the paperback version of “The Da Vinci Code” to 6.3 million copies in order to keep up with demand . . . ABC-TV, which will be without “Monday Night Football” for the first time in 36 years THIS FALL, will go with Saturday night football instead – 12 weeks of college football games . . . Word has it Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have sold the first-pic rights to their first child together to an unnamed US magazine for $5 million – which will go to children’s charity UNICEF . . . Katie Holmes is reportedly exhausted and ‘constantly in tears’ since giving birth to daughter Suri, sparking speculation she could be suffering post-partum depression (or maybe just desperate to escape?) . . . And here’s one reality TV show idea that won’t be airing in Britain (where they all seem to get hatched) – the BBC has decided to axe a celebrity pole dancing show called “Strictly Pole Dancing” after numerous protests from women’s groups.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Christina Aguilera – She has posed au naturel for the JUNE cover of “GQ” magazine. She’s pictured sporting a mass of blonde curls and bright red lips in a shot inspired by Marilyn Monroe.
• Jamie Foxx – THIS WEEKEND in LA, filming begins for his new video “Extravaganza” which will feature he and Kanye West as action hero and sidekick.
• Madonna – SUNDAY her “Confessions on a Dance Floor” tour kicks off at the Forum in Los Angeles. Fans will have to make their way through hundreds of picketers with the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees who’ve been locked out in a salary dispute.
• Nelly Furtado – TOMORROW she’s the musical guest on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live”, hosted by actor Kevin Spacey.
• Paul McCartney – He could be heading for the biggest divorce case Britain has ever seen, according to legal experts. Estimates say Heather Mills McCartney could walk away with as much as $350 million despite being married to him for just 4 years. McCartney is said to have turned down her suggestion of a pre-nuptial agreement before they wed.
• The Raconteurs – Jack White insists his new band is not just a ‘side project’ and intends to keep the new band on the road for as long as possible to prove his commitment to it.
• Toby Keith – THIS WEEKEND is his 3rd annual charity golf classic in Norman OK. As well as whacking the little white ball, he and several country music pals will perform.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Da Vinci Code” ( PG-13 Mystery Thriller ): Ron Howard directs Tom Hanks & French star Audrey Tautou (“Amelie”) in the $125-million bigscreen production of Dan Brown’s bazillion-selling novel, the most high-profile bestseller adaptation since “Harry Potter”. If you don’t know the plot by now, you’re the last human on Earth! Co-stars Jean Reno (“Mission Impossible”) & Ian McKellen (“Lord of the Rings”), who some say steals the show. Is it one of the biggest films of all-time or an expensive dud? “Cannes Film Festival” critics were less than impressed, describing it variously as ‘grim’, ‘unwieldy’ and ‘plodding’.
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/davincicode/international/
• “Over the Hedge” ( PG Animated Family Comedy ): A conniving racoon (Bruce Willis), his best-bud, a tortoise (Garry Shandling), and other forest critters try to resist the temptations of encroaching suburbia. Voices include Steve Carell, William Shatner, Nick Nolte, former “West Wing” actress Allison Janney, and singer Avril Lavigne, making her acting debut. Bruce Willis was brought in as the voice of ‘RJ’ after Jim Carrey bailed.
NET: http://www.overthehedgemovie.com/
• “See No Evil” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Sentenced to community service, a group of 8 teens is sent to fix up a ramshackle hotel. But what a surprise! Turns out the hotel is home to a deranged psychopath who’s looking to off them one-by-one. No-name cast other than WWE wrestler Kane (Glen Jacobs) who kills off the kids. Shot entirely in Queensland, Australia.
NET: http://www.seenoevilthemovie.com/

MAY SWEEPS TUBE:
TONIGHT –
• “Dr Phil Primetime Special: Escaping Danger” (CBS/CTV).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) hosts Hoobastank.
• “Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” (CBS) has Nick Lachey.
• “Numb3rs” (CBS/Global) 2nd season finalé.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) features Michael Bolton.
SUNDAY –
• “Charmed” (WB) series finalé, after 8 seasons.
• “Cold Case” (CBS/CTV) 3rd season finalé in HD.
• “Desperate Housewives” (ABC/CTV) 2-hour 2nd season finalé in HD, in which someone gets run over accidentally … and someone else gets murdered.
• “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (ABC/CH) 3rd season finalé.
• “The Simpsons” (FOX/Global) 17th season finalé.

ODDS ARE:
Online gambling site PinnacleSports.com is betting “The Da Vinci Code” won’t be THIS SUMMER’s hottest flick. The site lists “The Da Vinci Code” at 4-to-1 odds to win the summer box office battle, behind “X-Men: The Last Stand” (6-to-5), “Superman Returns” (2-to-1), and “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dean Man’s Chest” (9-to-4). By the way, the new “Superman” movie looks destined to become the most expensive movie of all-time as budget estimates have now risen to nearly $300 million.
– “The Scoop” / “The Sun”

ALL-TIME WORLDWIDE BOX OFFICE:
Can “The Da Vinci Code” break the record?
5. “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace” (1999) … $924 million
4. “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” (2002) … $926 million
3. “Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone” (2001) … $977 million
2. “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” (2003) … $1.12 billion
1. “Titanic” (1997) … $1.85 billion
– IMDb / Box Office Mojo

THE THINGS THEY SAY:
“Tell my female fans I am single and ready to party.”
– Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora on stage in Germany, denying reports he’s been dallying with estranged actress Denise Richards, the former best friend of his ex-, Heather Locklear. You give love a bad name, Richie.

THE DIRTIEST FOOD:
Experts say these are among the most dangerous foods, with potential to make you very sick …
5. Eggs – Undercooked eggs cause over 600,000 cases of food poisoning & more than 300 deaths annually.
4. Oysters – Beware of raw oysters! Many are tainted with bacteria and/or the Norovirus.
3. Ground Turkey – 1 in 4 packages tested contained bacteria.
2. Ground Beef – Due to heavy processing, it can be loaded with deadly E coli bacteria.
1. Chicken – Up to 40% of it contains bacteria that can sicken, including E coli.
Best bet to stay safe … cook the heck out of everything!
– “Men’s Health”

FOR THE RECORD:
Turns out an urban myth that’s been circulating online is true! When inspecting a vacated townhouse in Ogden, Utah a real estate agent discovered the previous tenants had left a few items behind – an estimated 70,000 beer cans piled knee-high throughout the property. How do you collect that many empties? You drink 24 beers a day … for 8 years! The cans were recycled for $800.
– “Fortean Times”

GAS-SAVING TIPS:
Now that it’s almost cheaper to have your car towed to work, here are a few money-saving suggestions …
• Accelerating quickly is one of the worst things you can do to reduce gas mileage.
• Running the AC reduces fuel efficiency by 3 to 4 mpg.
• Never race to a stoplight and then brake hard. It’s hard on gas mileage and the vehicle.
• Always put your vehicle in overdrive or in the top manual gear when cruising on the highway.
• Buying a new or used vehicle? The smaller engine that comes with the base model is almost always powerful enough and uses less fuel.
– “Indianapolis Star”

IS HE SERIOUS OR NOT?
To tell whether a guy is only interested in a one-night stand or something more serious, body-language expert Patti Wood says you have to learn to read the unspoken signs. For instance …
• If He Half-Smiles at You: There’s a good chance this guy just wants a no-strings summer fling.
• If He Gives You a Long, Piercing Gaze: He’s likely only trying to use it as a seduction technique.
• If He Laughs Easily: He’s letting his guard down and expressing his emotions, which a guy usually only does when he’s thinking long-term.
• If He Holds Hands … Not only is it a bonding move, but if he does it in public, it shows he has no problem showing others that he’s taken.
– “Cosmopolitan”

THE BULL SHEET 05.19.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [72] Jim Lehrer, Wichita KS, PBS news anchor (“The News Hour with Jim Lehrer” since 1975)

1945 [61] Pete Townshend, Chiswick UK, dinosaur rock guitarist/singer (The Who-“Who Are You” [“CSI”], “Won’t Get Fooled Again” [“CSI: Miami”])/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1949 [57] Dusty Hill, Dallas TX, classic rock bassist/singer (ZZ Top-“Legs”, “Tush”)

SATURDAY –
Oldies singer Joe Cocker (“You Are So Beautiful”) is 62; Pop diva Cher (“Believe”) is 60; Canadian actor Dave Thomas (“SCTV”) is 57; TV personality Ted Allen (“Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”) is 41; Rapper Busta Rhymes (w/Pussycat Dolls–“Don’t Cha”) is 34; TV actor Matt Czuchry (“Gilmore Girls”) is 29.

SUNDAY –
Baseball manager Bobby Cox (Atlanta Braves) is 65; Comedian/talk show host Al Franken is 55; TV actress Lisa Edelstein (“House”) is 39.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bike-to-Work Day”, the 12th annual highlight of “National Bike Month”, promoted as part of the solution to many of today’s problems – obesity, traffic congestion, and air pollution. Experts say the biggest reason why North American commuters refuse to try biking is fear of – body odor.
• “Plant Something Day”, which many people would if they could only be assured the plant would grow. What’s the most foolproof plant you can stick in your garden?

SATURDAY –
• “Eliza Doolittle Day”, a day named in honor of the lead character in the famous musical “My Fair Lady” to encourage the proper use of language. Hey, that ain’t too bad an idea!
• “Preakness Stakes” at Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore MD, the 131st running of the 2nd jewel in the Triple Crown of thoroughbred horseracing.
• “US Armed Forces Day”, observed annually since 1950 on the 3rd Saturday in May to salute those in all branches of the military who serve & protect their country.
• “Weights & Measures Day”, in celebration of the 1875 treaty that established the International Bureau of Weights and Measures, thereby standardizing values. That means you’re just as fat in Katmandu as you are at home.

SUNDAY –
• “Wait Staff Day”, set aside for restaurant managers and patrons to show appreciation for the efforts of servers. It’s interesting how tipping varies by geography. In Australia, China, Japan & New Zealand, tipping is basically non-existent. In Egypt and Mexico you are expected to tip, it’s a way of life. In Britain, you have to decide if an establishment is a pub that serves food (don’t tip) or a restaurant with a bar (do tip). In the US & Canada a 15-25% tip is expected, depending on quality of service.

MONDAY –
• “Victoria Day”, a truly Canadian holiday begun in 1845 as a celebration of national unity. It commemorates the birth of Queen Victoria on May 24, 1819, who became Britain’s longest-reigning monarch (1837-1901). THIS YEAR ‘May 2-4′ is actually May 2-2.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [07] “Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace” opens in movie theaters and crosses the box office benchmark of $200 million in a record 13 days

2005 [01] “Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith” opens in theaters at 12:01 am and grosses a record $50 million in a single day

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1974 [32] 1st NHL ‘expansion team’ to win Stanley Cup (Philadelphia Flyers)

1994 [12] 1st ‘Genetically-Engineered Tomato’ approved for marketing

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1977 [29] Jean & Nicolette Besnard and 3-year-old son leave Montréal on a bicycle-built-for-2 to peddle 2,800 miles to Vancouver (takes 3 months)

1995 [11] Balamurali Ambati graduates from NYC’s Mount Sinai Medical School to become world’s youngest doctor – at age 17

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day
[Tues] 41st “Academy of Country Music Awards” (Las Vegas)
[Tues] World Turtle Day
[Wed] International Jazz Day
[Wed] Brothers Day
[Wed] Morning Radio Wise Guy Day
[Wed] Escargot Day
This Week Is … Dog Bite Prevention Week
This Month Is … Healthy Vision Month

BULL’S BITS

BS ANIMALIA:
A few amazin’ facts about critters …
• Only female mosquitoes bite. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians.
• Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
• There are an average of 50,000 spiders per acre in green grass.
• Cows don’t have upper front teeth.
– AskMen.com

BS BLATANT JOKE:
I find that one of the most handy, helpful, useful, beneficial, advantageous, valuable items I have is a thesaurus.

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Chris Brown – “Yo”
4. 50 Cent – “Best Friend”
3. Rick Ross – “Hustlin”
2. TI – “What You Know”
1. Field Mob – “So What”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The office supply the average guy steals most is THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Copy machine paper.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.