May 11 2020

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Monday, May 11, 2020   Edition: #6694

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ Roy Horn, whose collaboration with Siegfried Fischbacher created the well-known animal training and magic duo “Siegfried & Roy”, died of complications from COVID-19 on Friday in Las Vegas. He was 75. Horn, whose full name was Uwe Ludwig Horn, revealed on April 28 that he had tested positive for coronavirus. He was forced to stop performing in 2003 when his white tiger bit his neck and dragged him off the stage, severing his spine. He had to relearn how to talk and walk, and was eventually able to travel and appear at events. The duo retired in 2010.
★ How do you follow up Brad Pitt as Anthony Fauci and Tom Hanks as… Tom Hanks? If you’re Alec Baldwin, you do it by retiring your divisive impression of President Donald Trump on the air. That’s what appeared to happen on the final “Saturday Night Live at Home”, and the last SNL before the summer hiatus. At the end of the cold open, Baldwin lifted his “Make America Great Again” baseball cap, dropped his Trumpian voice and addressed the audience directly, saying: “Taped from my home one last time, it’s Saturday night.”
★ Monopoly games can be pretty intense at the best of times, but there’s a new “Breaking Bad” version of the classic board game that brings meth and crime to the table. Instead of the little dog and the boot, players have a choice of Heisenberg’s hat, Tio’s bell, a money barrel, a gas mask, a pink teddy bear or an RV. Houses are referred to as “Tented Houses” and hotels as “SuperLabs”, and the board features locations such as ‘Unncle Jack’s Compound’, ‘JP Wynne High School’ and ‘Schrader House’. The game, which is recommended for 17+, is currently only available in the US, priced at $39.99.
★ Oprah Winfrey didn’t have to think twice when picking Bradley Cooper over her partner Stedman Graham when asked about her dream quarantine partner. Oprah was joined by her BFF, Gayle King, for an Instagram live chat, and the two discussed which celebrity they would pick to be stuck inside with. Oprah quickly answered, saying, “Bradley Cooper”, adding “Bradley and I are good friends and we have really good conversations over text, good conversations over the phone.” King’s choice? The Rock… “if he wasn’t married.”

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Seth MacFarlane, David Chang, Lady Antebellum
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jake Tapper, Tame Impala
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tina Fey
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Nicholas Hoult, Lior Suchard, Sam Fischer
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dua Lipa, Lena Dunham
• “The Talk” (CBS): Brandy, Bret Michaels
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Daniel Radcliffe, Melinda Macht-Greenberg
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ellie Kemper, Dr. Jonathan LaPook
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): A new Message From Montana, repeat segments with Jim Carrey, James Marsden, Ben Schwartz, Coyote Peterson (R)
• “The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart” (ABC): Chris and Bri serenade a couple at their wedding; Jamie and Trevor use an empty arena as a backdrop to share their feelings; Rudi and Matt join Shaggy on stage; judges Arie and Lauren Luyendyk, Ashlee Simpson-Ross and Evan Ross, and Pat Monahan.
• “The Price Is Right at Night With RuPaul” (CBS): RuPaul plays alongside contestants.
• “The Voice” (NBC): The top nine artists perform for their chance at a spot in the finale.
• “Amy Schumer Learns to Cook” (FOOD): Schumer gets lessons in home cooking from her husband, professional chef Chris Fischer in this new home-recorded series.
• “Bakeaway Camp With Martha Stewart” (FOOD): Series premiere. Six amateur bakers arrive; Camp Director Martha Stewart and host Jesse Palmer present the campers with their first Counselor’s Challenge, a unique spin on the quintessential camping dessert, s’mores.

• Little Richard – One of the founding fathers of rock and roll whose fervent shrieks, flamboyant garb, and gender-bending persona embodied the spirit and sound of that new art form, died Saturday at 87. No cause of death was given. The Beatles recorded several of his songs, including ‘Long Tall Sally’, and the Beatles’ own ‘I’m Down’ paid tribute to Little Richard’s shredded-throat style.
• Taylor Swift – has announced the concert special “Taylor Swift City of Lover” will air May 17 on ABC. It will also be available on demand on Hulu and Disney+ the following day. Her “2019 Lover Fest” tour was canceled last month amid the coronavirus pandemic.
• Nicki Minaj — has sparked rumors she might be expecting her first child with husband Kenneth “Zoo” Petty, after tweeting about experiencing common pregnancy symptoms — including food cravings, nausea and “peeing non stop.” That was followed with the words: “Omg what do u think this means guys???? Lmaooooooooooo.”
• Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber — tapped celebrity pals including Kylie Jenner, Demi Lovato, Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis, Gwyneth Paltrow and Michael Bublé for their new lockdown-themed music video ‘Stuck With You’. The song focuses on what it’s like being “stuck” with those you love amid the coronavirus pandemic.
• Foo Fighters — have ”shelved” their new album indefinitely. They’ve completed work on the follow-up to 2017’s “Concrete and Gold” but at this point, they have no idea when it will be released because of the pandemic.
• Soundgarden — Chris Cornell’s widow Vicky has threatened to sue her late husband’s former bandmates if they don’t drop their lawsuit against her. The surviving members claim they had made an “oral agreement” with Vicky to perform for free at the “I Am the Highway: A Tribute to Chris Cornell” concert in January, 2019, but now allege the money raised did not go to charity, as promised.
• Bad Company – Former singer Brian Howe has died at 66 of cardiac arrest. Although not the band’s singer through its run of classic albums in the 1970s, Howe sang on the group’s 1990s hits ‘Holy Water’ and ‘If You Needed Somebody’, among others.
• Queen — guitarist Brian May was involved in a bizarre gardening accident late last week. He was hospitalized after ripping his gluteus maximus “to shreds” during a session of “over-enthusiastic gardening”, according to his Instagram post. (Another One Bites the Dirt?)
• Rita Wilson – Tom Hanks’ actress wife has released a country song in tribute to essential female workers after recovering from the coronavirus. She recorded ‘Where’s My Country Song?’ because, as she puts it, “They’re really unsung heroes…You don’t hear a lot of songs about single mothers’.
• Keith Urban – announced on Friday that his new album “The Speed of Now Part 1” will drop on Sept. 18. He also shared clips of five songs.
• Maren Morris — dropped the new four-song EP, “Maren Morris: Live From Chicago”, on Friday. It was recorded March 9, 2019, at the Riviera Theatre in Chicago, and features performances of ‘Girl’, ‘A Song for Everything’, ‘Common’ and ‘The Bones’.

I’m sure you’re used to seeing ice cream vans making their rounds every summer. But this year, there could be a new truck dropping by your neighborhood. A Toronto start-up called “Grocery Neighbour” is offering up a fleet of mobile supermarkets on wheels to allow people to buy groceries as they swing through the area. Founder Frank Sinopoli says the company will let people know where the grocery truck is, and when, via text message. Grocery trucks will only feature one aisle, but that aisle will contain “all the necessities” including refrigerated items. Three trucks will operate in the Toronto area this summer, and there are plans to expand to 1,000 truck across the country.
(Where are they going to park these things? At a grocery store?)
(I’m guessing this thing is really just one big express lane?)
(Or you could, you know, go to the corner grocery store…)
-FreshDaily, CBC

Contrary to all those memes you’ve seen going around, don’t expect a baby boom as a result of the coronavirus pandemic. A new study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology found that more than 80% of people do not plan to conceive during the COVID-19 crisis. 1,500 people in relationships were surveyed regarding their childbearing plans about three weeks into the lockdown in Italy. Over one-third of people who were planning to have a child before the pandemic put their wishes on hold. This was mostly because of economic concerns and worries about the impact the virus could have on a pregnancy. 60% who were trying to have a baby before the pandemic continued with their plans, and 11% said the pandemic inspired them to conceive. Many in this group felt having a child would bring positive change to their lives.
(…at least until the kid becomes a teenager!)
(You heard the key word there, right? 80% of people do not PLAN to conceive during the pandemic…)
(The real reason people aren’t making kids these days? Their kids are always around!)

☞ Out of breath:  Do you huff and puff after activities requiring minimal physical exertion? (Like pumping gas?)
☞ Back hurts when standing in line:  This could be a sign that your core and back muscles are weak. (Or that you’re holding two kids!)
☞ High resting heart rate:  If your fitness tracker shows an elevated heart rate while being sedentary, this could be a sign that you’re dehydrated, anxious, not getting enough sleep, not eating well, or out of shape in general. (So, you’re sayin’ there’s a CHANCE that I’m not out of shape…)
☞ You’re experiencing more injuries:  If you dread exercise because you always seem to tweak your shoulder, back, knee, or some other body part, you might not be mechanically prepared to do that activity. Do some low-impact exercises for a while.
☞ You look for the closest parking spot to the entrance of a store:  If you’re doing it for convenience, OK. But if you’re doing this because you know the walk from the back of the parking lot can leave you breathless, this may indicate you need to be more active. (Or that it’s raining…)
☞ You have a difficult time unloading groceries or cleaning the house:  If these tasks are feeling even more like chores because you find yourself quickly out of breath, don’t ignore it. If your heart rate or pulse is above 110 doing these activities, you are out of shape. (I have a MORE difficult time getting anyone to HELP me clean the house!)

The late Little Richard was definitely one of the most influential figures in the early years of rock and roll, but his bandmembers exerted significant influence as well. If Richard’s drummer, Charles Connor hadn’t recorded this energetic intro in 1957:  LINK , we never would have heard this all-time classic drum intro from 1971:  LINK


1941 [79] Eric Burdon, Walker-on-Tyne England, rock singer (Animals-‘House of the Rising Sun’, War-‘Spill the Wine’)

1952 [68] Frances Fisher, Hampshire England, movie actress (“Titanic”, “Unforgiven”) COMING UP…”This Is Not a War Story”

1959 [61] Martha Quinn, Albany New York, actress/TV personality (an original MTV VJ when the station signed on in 1981)

1982 [38] Jonathan Jackson, Orlando FL, TV actor (‘Avery Barkley’ on “Nashville” 2012-18, ‘Lucky Spencer’ on “General Hospital” 1993-2015)

1988 [32] Blac Chyna (Angela Renee White), Washington, DC, model, reality star (“Rob & Chyna” 2016)

1989 [31] Cam Newton, Atlanta GA, NFL quarterback (Carolina Panthers 2011-19, currently a free agent)/3-time Pro Bowl/NFL MVP 2015

1997 [23] Lana Condor, Can Tho Vietnam, movie actress (“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”, “X-Men: Apocalypse”) COMING UP…”Girls Night”

• “Nursing Week 2020”, held every May to coincide with the birthday of Florence Nightingale, the founder of modern nursing. Nursing Week 2020 marks the 200th anniversary of Florence Nightingale’s birthday. Nursing Week recognizes dedicated registered nurses and nurse practitioners who provide quality care for their patients, clients and long-term care residents. (***Note: Some sources [including the Bull Sheet] listed Nurses Week as occurring last week. As they say, “Check local listings”!***)

• “Eat What You Want Day”, a day to ignore all the warnings, avoid worrying and counting calories, and fight our obsession with being thin. If healthfulness was not a concern, what would you really, really want to eat? (We’re going with bacon-stuffed bacon!)

• “Twilight Zone Day”, that mysterious 24 hours that should be highlighted with eerie background music and unexplainable occurrences. Why today? It’s not the anniversary of the first episode of the show. It isn’t the anniversary of the birth or death of its creator, Rod Serling. It’s just…totally…unexplainable….

• “Foam Rolling Day”, It’s sometimes called the poor man’s massage. A once-mysterious technique used only by professional athletes, coaches, and therapists, it is now a familiar everyday practice for people at all levels of fitness. But why does it HURT?

• “Hostess Cupcake Day” a day to celebrate and enjoy one of America’s most beloved snack cakes.

• “Women’s Check-Up Day”, an annual event during “Women’s Health Week” to raise awareness of manageable steps women can take to improve their health. It’s also a reminder that regular check-ups are important.

[Tues] National Nurses Day
[Tues] Limerick Day
[Tues] Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness
[Wed] National Apple Pie Day
[Wed] Frog Jumping Day
This Week Is…Women’s Health Week
This Month Is…National Bike Month

1969 [51] The British comedy troupe “Monty Python” forms, made up of Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin

2000 [18] George Clooney makes a surprise return appearance on NBC-TV’s “ER” as ‘Dr Doug Ross’ (he’d left the show in 1998 after 5 seasons to pursue big screen stardom)

1981 [39] Legendary reggae musician Bob Marley dies of brain cancer in Miami FL at age 36 (today is “Bob Marley Day” in Jamaica)

2011 [09] One of the rarest rock T-shirts in the world, a 1979 Led Zeppelin tee, sells on eBay for $10,000, the largest sum ever paid for a vintage tee

1812 [208] ‘The Waltz’ is introduced to English ballrooms. Some observers consider it disgusting and immoral

2000 [20] The population of India officially crosses the 1 billion mark, the second country to do so, following China

2003 [17] Virginia resident Gary Duschl, who began a chain of chewing gum wrappers as an 11-year-old in Canada in 1965, passes the 1 million mark (his chain of wrappers stretches over 8 miles and weighs 600 lbs)

2015 [05] Two art works set world records at a Christie’s auction in NYC, as Pablo Picasso’s painting “Women of Algiers Version O” sells for $179.3 million and Alberto Giacometti’s sculpture “Pointing Man” sells for $141.3 million


✓ Before 1850, most golf balls were stuffed with feathers.
✓ In 1913, the US income tax on $4,000 was one cent.
✓ If you go blind in one eye, you only lose about one-fifth of your vision.
✓ The average baby spends 27.5 months in diapers.
✓ You can tell a pig is sick when it stops curling its tail.
✓ Napoleon Bonaparte was afraid of cats.

• Mask not what your country can do for you, mask what you can do for your country.
• Life is what happens when you’re busy making no plans
• Of all the gin joints in all the world, she walks into mine…without a mask and gloves.
• Wash your filthy hands, you damn dirty ape!
• There’s no place but home.
• Are You talkin’ to me? You must be. I’m the only one here…
• We have nothing to fear, but…Well, actually, the list is kinda long these days.

➠ During a US Supreme Court conference call amid the COVID-19 outbreak last week, one of the Judge’s toilets was heard flushing. (Odor in your Retort!)
➠ Pabst beer company has released a new coffee drink featuring alcohol and caffeine.  (Great. Another streaming service to keep me up all night…)
➠ Florida Man jumped into a canal to avoid arrest, only to get arrested on other side of canal.  (He’s facing charges of driving with a suspended license, resisting an officer, and impersonating every scene from “Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner”.)
➠ HBO Max will launch its new streaming service May 27th and this summer, it will debut a show featuring Selena Gomez learning to cook with help from a master Chef. (The only way I’d EVER consider watching this garbage is if the master chef went by the name ‘Heisenberg’.)
➠ A wanted British man who hid in bushes in an attempt to evade police blew his cover when he accidentally passed gas. The smell alerted an officer who found him. (He’s been charged with possession of a silent, but deadly weapon.)

Sliding into Monday like:

What’s an adult problem nobody prepared you for?

• What was the name of Captain Jack Sparrow’s ship in “Pirates of the Caribbean”?
a. The Marauder
b. The Black Pearl [CORRECT]
c. The Black Python
d. The Black Adder

• How old do you have to be to enter “The Hunger Games?
a. 12 [CORRECT]
b. 11
c. 15
d. 65

• Which Disney princess sings ‘Just Around The Riverbend’?
a) Snow White
b) Pocahontas [CORRECT]
c) Elsa
d) Belle

Hey, to whoever invented the zero: Thanks for nothing.

Question:  7% of us admit that we have initially kept THIS a secret from our partner. What is it?
Answer:  A small lottery win

Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic.


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