May 11 2022

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Wednesday, May 11, 2022 — Edition: #7228

Good Morning, Sheetheads!


★ Netflix won’t be airing the most talked-about moment from its first-ever comedy festival. Dave Chappelle was performing at the Hollywood Bowl during his set at the “Netflix Is A Joke” Festival last Tuesday when 23-year-old Isaiah Lee ran up and tackled him to the floor. But the decision not to show the incident isn’t due to the assault. The Hollywood Reporter says Netflix “made it clear before the festival that the comedian’s 4 sold-out Hollywood Bowl shows were not being taped for a special.” Chappelle had his own crew present to record the show, as comedians often do when working out new material, so footage of the attack likely exists, and could be released by Chappelle some time in the future.
-Hollywoodreporter, ETCanada
★ Ken Jennings has shared some news about the remainder of the current “Jeopardy!” season. On Twitter, he announced that he’ll again take a step back from hosting, and he’s “handing the keys” back to Bialik, who will be hosting the quiz show for the next “few months.” The former Jeopardy champion thanked everyone for watching and noted that he’ll return to the show “before the end of the season.” Bialik returned to the Jeopardy! Helm starting with Monday’s episode.
★ ‘Baby’ could be rocking out in her corner to the Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur. New details for the sequel to 1987’s “Dirty Dancing” have emerged, and the story will involve some ’90s hip-hop. Jennifer Grey will be reprising her role as ‘Frances “Baby” Houseman’ and will also produce the movie, which is set in the Catskill Mountains. “50/50” director Jonathan Levine is directing. While music from the original film will also pop up, the sequel will incorporate hip-hop as well as the likes of Alanis Morissette and Liz Phair — and Levine promises “we will not ruin your childhood.” The Dirty Dancing sequel is set for a 2024 release, and production will begin later this year.
★ “Game of Thrones” star Maisie Williams and “The Good Doctor’s” Freddie Highmore are set to co-star in the comedy “Sinner v. Saints” from director Tim Kirkby (“Veep”). Set in 1970s L.A. and London, the film is based on the real-life scandal that made headlines worldwide, involving an eccentric MENSA beauty queen who goes to extreme lengths to stop the Mormon church from stealing her sexual obsession: a nebbish Mormon missionary. Shooting will begin next year.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Dana Carvey, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Florence Welch, Jimmy Buffett, Florence and the Machine
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ken Jeong, Paula Pell, PUP, Derrick Wright
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jessica Biel, David Spade, Bastille
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kyle Richards, Dorit Kemsley
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sarah Silverman, guest co-host Alyssa Farah Griffin
• “The Talk” (CBS): Titus Welliver
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Mike Myers, Ali Wentworth
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Zac Efron, Bonnie Raitt, Ryan Tedder
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Michelle Pfeiffer, Dakota Fanning, Dulé Hill, Rick Springfield
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Molly Shannon, David Arquette, Michael Vartan
• “Survivor” (CBS): One castaway drops out of the immunity challenge, leaving their fate up to chance.
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): A look back at the best moments and performances from Season 7.
• “Domino Masters” (FOX): Season 1 finale
• “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” (BRAVO): Season 12 premiere

• Kendrick Lamar – Days before this Friday’s release of his new album “Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers”, he surprise-dropped the new song ‘The Heart Part 5’ on Sunday. The video might contain the biggest surprises of all: It shows Lamar’s face morphing into the likes of O.J. Simpson, Kanye West, Jussie Smollett, Will Smith and Nipsey Hussle. LINK:
• Travis Scott, Ed Sheeran, Elle King, Miranda Lambert and Becky G – have all joined the list of performers for the 2022 Billboard Music Awards. The show, hosted by Sean “Diddy” Combs, will air on NBC live from Vegas on Sunday night. Previously announced performers include Florence + The Machine, Maxwell, Megan Thee Stallion, Morgan Wallen, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Silk Sonic.
• Britney Spears – said on Instagram that her memoir is coming out “at the end of this year”. The announcement came at the end of a long diatribe about the limitations put on her during her conservatorship, which may explain her closing comment: “Once it’s released not sure what’s gonna happen folks !!!”
• Scorpions – have announced a 2-month run of North American shows with special guests Whitesnake (on their farewell tour). The “Rock Believer Tour” kicks off Aug. 21 in Toronto and concludes Oct. 21 in Las Vegas. Tickets go on sale this Friday.
• Metallica — A woman gave birth during their Saturday show in Curitiba, Brazil. 39-year-old Joice Figueiró started having contractions when Metallica took the stage and her water broke on the way to the first aid clinic. She wrote on Instagram: “Luan Figueiró came into the world on 05/07/2022 at 23:15 shaking all the metal structures”.
• Garth Brooks — only planned for one Canadian stop on his 2022 Stadium Tour, but that changed due to popular demand. Friday, tickets for his Edmonton at Commonwealth Stadium show (capacity: 61,000) sold out in 45 minutes. By Monday, he announced an additional show there on June 24, the night before the previously-announced concert.
• Walker Hayes – He and co-author Craig Allen Cooper recently dropped their highly-anticipated book, “Glad You’re Here: Two Unlikely Friends Breaking Bread and Fences.” Hayes says the faith-centric novel explains how Cooper became his saving grace when he was battling alcoholism, grieving the loss of a child, and struggling to find his footing in the music industry.
• Rascal Flatts – bassist Jay DeMarcus has teamed up with former Chicago singer/bassist Jason Sheff and former Journey drummer Deen Castronovo, plus others, in Generation Radio. The rock group will release its debut album this summer.


The concept of multitasking is dead, according to productivity experts. Recently, perhaps fast-tracked by the pandemic, conversations about “hustle culture” and multitasking ourselves into a tizzy have gained momentum. And research tells us that multitasking can actually people less productive, and “monotasking” is much better for our health and productivity. The problem is that our brains aren’t wired to tackle more than one thing at a time. Thatcher Wine, author of “The 12 Monotasks: Do One Thing at a Time to Do Everything Better”, says: “All that task switching comes at a cost. It overloads our brains and causes a significant amount of stress. [Additionally], studies have shown that tasks take longer and we make more mistakes than if we had done one thing at a time.” Multitasking can also impact important relationships. For instance, if you try to watch TV during a family dinner, or scroll through social media while out with a friend, you can miss prime opportunities to connect with loved ones. While it won’t be an easy adjustment, the main thing to keep in mind when deciding to monotask is to concentrate on doing one thing at a time, completing it, THEN moving on to something else.
(They don’t know much about being a Mom, do they?)
(OK, I’ll try it . . . but someone’s going to have to explain it to the boss!)

HERE’S a concept: If you’re wrong, just admit it. Researchers from University of Houston say if you want to make a good impression when debating others online, you should practice “intellectually humble behavior”. Platforms like Facebook and Twitter are fertile ground for disagreements, but just like in face-to-face confrontation, no one likes a sore loser. After conducting a series of 4 experiments, the psychologists found: “Willingness to engage in ‘wrongness admission’ is positively correlated with agreeableness…honesty/humility and emotional intelligence. With potentially hundreds (or more) of passive witnesses…the user’s best course of action is to publicly admit that they are wrong.”
(It’s funny how, for many, admitting when they’re wrong is something they’d never even think of on their own…)
(But this goes against every principle that social media was founded upon – unfortunately!)
(And not only will you make yourself look better in the eyes of those you’ve been debating with, you’ll also make yourself eligible for honorary Canadian citizenship!)

A British jet suit company is giving super-human powers to emergency responders. Great North Air Ambulance Service has embarked on a program using 3 trainees to fly the Gravity Industries Jet Suit in the steep hills of the Lake District. In a demonstration, Jet Suit inventor and developer Richard Browning flew a test route, completing a more than 2,000-foot (610m) climb over 1.2-miles (1.9km) in about 3 minutes and 40 seconds. The 3D printed suit consists of 2 small turbines attached to each arm and a larger one mounted on the back. It can reach speeds over 80mph (130kph), and is capable of reaching an altitude of 12,000 feet, but is flown much lower for safety reasons. The next stage of the project is to get the paramedics’ flight skills to a level where emergency assistance will arrive via Jet Suit paramedics in a matter of minutes, rather than hours. And for those concerned about the cost of this new technology, as the developer points out, when you consider the costs of a paramedic helicopter, its crew, plus maintenance, the price for a few jet suits is very reasonable. LINK:
(And 10 times cooler!)
(I’ve seen videos of these things. Who’s going to rescue the rescuers?)

➠ The small metal or paper cup that restaurants provide to hold condiments such as ketchup or BBQ sauce:  “Soufflé cup” (named after the egg-based dish they were designed to hold)
➠ The space between your forefinger and thumb: “Perlicue”
➠ The “You are here” mark on a map. “Ideo-locator” (They usually look like a red, upside-down teardrop)
➠ Those annoying banana strings:  “Phloem bundles” (A phloem is a vascular tissue that transports nutrients to plants)
➠ The tiny “plastic table-looking” thing in the middle of a pizza:  “Pizza saver” (Who “saves” pizza?)
➠ The armhole in clothing:  “Armscye” (pron: Arm’s eye)
➠ The measuring device for shoe size:  “Brannock device”
➠ The cardboard sleeve on a “to-go” coffee cup:  “Zarf” (Go ahead, ask the dude at Starbucks for a zark!)
➠ The wooden strips that divide window panes:  “Muntins”
➠ Song words that don’t have meaning, such as “Na na na” or “La la la la”:  “Vocables” (But, hey without them, we wouldn’t have classics like ‘Boyfriend’ and ‘De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da’!)
➠ The dot over an “i”:  Tittle. (Yup.)
(Yet no one has ever been thoughtful enough to come up with a word for the back of your knee!)

Some scientists are theorizing that it may take 400,000 years to communicate with an alien civilization. Two Astrophysical Journal researchers estimated the number of ‘communicating extraterrestrial intelligent civilizations’ (CETIs) out there, taking into account the probability of life appearing on a planet, and the stage of the planet’s host star’s evolution. The researchers created 9 scenarios where CETIs were either rare or common. If they are rare, then a communicating civilization (us) might have to survive for 400,000 years before it gets a signal from another. In the best-case scenario, it would take at least 2,000 years for a communicating civilization to get its first cosmic hello. (“Thank you for your patience. All our representatives are busy…”)


• “Eat What You Want Day”, a day to ignore all the warnings, avoid worrying and counting calories, and fight our obsession with being thin. If healthfulness was not a concern, what would you really, really want to eat? (We’re going with bacon-stuffed bacon!)
• “Receptionists’ Day”, in recognition of the frontline personnel in business and education, the ones responsible for a good first impression (and the ones who REALLY know what’s going on…!)
• “Twilight Zone Day”, that mysterious 24 hours that should be highlighted with eerie background music and unexplainable occurrences. Why today? It’s not the anniversary of the first episode of the show. It isn’t the anniversary of the birth or death of its creator, Rod Serling. It’s just…totally…unexplainable….
• “Foam Rolling Day”, It was, at one point, called the ‘poor man’s massage’. The once-mysterious technique used only by pro athletes, coaches, and therapists, became a familiar everyday practice for people at all levels of fitness – until it was more or less replaced by the electric massager. (It’s just how people roll these days…)
• “Hostess Cupcake Day” a day to celebrate and enjoy one of America’s most beloved snack cakes.
• “World Ego Awareness Day”, to raise social awareness about egotism. The day supports those affected by egotism, both the abused and perpetrators, and aims to prevent people from experiencing this invisible form of abuse. (So, today, leggo your ego…)
• “Donate a Day’s Wages to Charity”, whether you have trouble keeping up with charitable donations and you want to make a difference, or you believe that you should make a pledge that matters once a year, today’s the day to do it. (I can’t. I just donated a day’s wages to my gas tank…)

[Thurs] International Nurses Day
[Thurs] Limerick Day
[Fri] Apple Pie Day
[Fri] Frog Jumping Day

1941 [81] Eric Burdon, Walker-on-Tyne England, rock singer (Animals-‘House of the Rising Sun’, War-‘Spill the Wine’)

1952 [70] Frances Fisher, Hampshire England, movie actress (“Titanic”, “Unforgiven”) COMING UP…”Reptile”, 2022

1959 [63] Martha Quinn, Albany New York, actress/TV personality (an original MTV VJ when the station signed on in 1981)/current radio host

1982 [40] Jonathan Jackson, Orlando FL, TV actor (‘Avery Barkley’ on “Nashville” 2012-18, ‘Lucky Spencer’ on “General Hospital” 1993-2015)

1988 [34] Blac Chyna [Angela Renee White], Washington DC, model/reality star (“Rob & Chyna” 2016, “The Real Blac Chyna” since 2019)

1989 [33] Cam Newton, Atlanta GA, NFL quarterback (Carolina Panthers in 2021, current free agent/3-time Pro Bowl/NFL MVP 2015/Heisman Trophy 2010

1999 [23] Sabrina Carpenter, Lehigh Valley PA, TV actress (“Girl Meets World” 2014-17, “The Goodwin Games”2013)/movie actress (“Adventures in Babysitting (2016)”, “Work it”)/pop singer (‘Thumbs’)

1997 [25] Lana Condor, Can Tho Vietnam, movie actress (“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”, “X-Men: Apocalypse”) COMING UP…”Wile E. Coyote”, 2023

1969 [53] The British comedy troupe “Monty Python” forms, made up of Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin

2000 [22] George Clooney makes a surprise return appearance on “ER” as ‘Dr Doug Ross’ (he’d left the show in 1998 after 5 seasons to pursue a movie career)

1981 [41] Legendary reggae musician Bob Marley dies of brain cancer in Miami FL at age 36 (today is “Bob Marley Day” in Jamaica)

2011 [11] One of the rarest rock T-shirts in the world, a 1979 Led Zeppelin tee, sells on eBay for $10,000, the most ever paid for a vintage tee

1812 [210] ‘The Waltz’ is introduced to English ballrooms. Some observers consider it disgusting and immoral

2000 [22] The population of India officially crosses the 1 billion mark, the second country to do so, following China

2003 [19] Gary Duschl of Virginia, who began a chain of gum wrappers as an 11-year-old in Canada in 1965, passes the 1 million mark (his chain of wrappers stretches over 8 miles and weighs 600 lbs)

2015 [07] Two art works set world records at a Christie’s auction in NYC: Pablo Picasso’s painting “Women of Algiers Version O” sells for $179.3 million, and Alberto Giacometti’s sculpture “Pointing Man” sells for $141.3 million


✓ Before 1850, most golf balls were stuffed with feathers.
✓ Spammers get approximately 1 response for every 12 million emails they send.
✓ The harmonica is the world’s best-selling music instrument.
✓ You can tell a pig is sick when it stops curling its tail.
✓ During 2015, Taylor Swift earned more than $1 million per day (and probably pretty much every year since…).
✓ In 1908, the New York Times advised readers to wash their hair “about every 6 weeks.”
-BathroomReadersInstitute, DisYouKnow

Best of BS . . .
• Make a list of things to do … which you have already done.
• Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
• Go into a fitting room and yell really loudly: “Hey! We’re out of toilet paper in here!”
• Look right into a security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
• Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
• Move a ‘Caution – Wet Floor’ sign to a carpeted area.
• Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.
• While shopping, grab 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
-First published in BS in 2012

• You can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.
• You walk 20 miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
• You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.
• Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
• You don’t sweat, you percolate.
• When someone says. “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”
• You buy ½ & ½ by the barrel.
• You can type sixty words per minute … with your feet.
• You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
• You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
• You help your dog chase its tail.

(***You run down the list while your caller decides which choice is more palatable …***)
• Would you rather travel the world for a year on a shoestring budget or stay in only one country for a year, but live in luxury?
• … have whatever you are thinking appear in print above your head or have absolutely everything you do live-streamed?
• … give up using a phone or tablet forever or give up having any salt in food?
• … be able to slow down time by 10% or jump 3 times as high as you can now?
• … work hard for a boss who has high expectations but values you as a person and employee, or work much less for a boss who couldn’t care less about you?
• … be forced to go 10 mph under the speed limit or 10 mph over the speed limit? You can still get speeding tickets.
• … take an all expenses paid dream vacation every year for a month or have the job of your dreams?
• … have a successful podcast or a successful YouTube channel?
• … watch a movie with no snacks or drink or have whatever snacks you want, but the movie is always just a little to quiet or a little too loud?

‘Tis the season:

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.

What smell makes you gag . . . every time?

Question:  53% of people under 25 say they have never bought one of THESE. What is it?
Answer:  A cup of coffee

Before you give up, think about why you held on for so long.


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