May 10 2021

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Monday, May 10, 2021 — Edition: #6983

Sheet Happens!


★ Elon Musk revealed he has Asperger’s syndrome while hosting “Saturday Night Live” on the weekend. During his opening monologue, the Tesla and SpaceX CEO told the audience: “I’m actually making history tonight as the first person with Asperger’s to host ‘SNL. Or at least the first to admit it.”
Asperger’s is an autism spectrum disorder where people have difficulty responding to the body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice of others. But as some have pointed out, former cast member Dan Aykroyd has Asperger’s and hosted the show in 2003. During his monologue, Musk also poked fun at the pronunciation of his 1-year-old son’s odd name. Gesturing to on-screen text, Musk said: “SNL” is also a great way to learn something new about the host. For example, this is my son’s name. It’s pronounced: Cat running across the keyboard.”
★ “Tawny” Kitaen, who famously appeared in the Whitesnake music videos for ‘Is This Love’ and ‘Here I Go Again’, has died at age 59. Kitean, whose legal first name was Julie, was also an actress, best known for her role opposite Tom Hanks in 1984’s “Bachelor Party”. The Orange County, Calif. coroner’s office says she died at her home in Newport Beach on Friday morning, but a cause of death has not been revealed. Kitean was married to Whitesnake singer David Coverdale for 2 years beginning in 1989, and for 5 years to former MLB pitcher Chuck Finley, with whom she had two daughters.
-PageSix, Yahoo
★ With fans looking forward to the upcoming “Friends” reunion special, could we get a “Big Bang” one, too? Kaley Cuoco says she’s “definitely” down for a reunion episode of “The Big Bang Theory”. When? In an interview with E! News, she said “I think in a few years or whenever anyone’s open to it”, but for now, “everyone is kind of trying out their new paths and seeing what their next project is.” Cuoco went on to executive produce and star in both “Harley Quinn” and “The Flight Attendant”.
★ Josh Duhamel suffered a near-death experience while filming his new movie “Shotgun Wedding”. During an appearance on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon”, Duhamel showed footage of the incident and said: “This rogue wave comes up as I’m videotaping this thing and literally washed me almost over the edge of this cliff. But it turned me into hamburger on many parts of my body afterwards. It was one of the near-death experiences of my life, for sure.” He plays Jennifer Lopez’s love interest in the upcoming romantic comedy.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Ewan McGregor, George Wallace, Lucky Daye and Yebba
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Leslie Jones, X González, Weezer
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jake Tapper, Billie Eilish
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tracee Ellis Ross, Paula Pell
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): David Oyelowo, Maisie Peters
• “Conan” (TBS): Sean Hayes
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Lala Kent, Alli Dore
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Bebe Rexha
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tom Everett Scott, Jerry O’Connell
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Andrew McCarthy, Dr. Greg Yapalater
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Michael B. Jordan, Tahar Rahim, Rag’n’Bone Man
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Paul Feig, Sean Hayes, Dr. Priyanka Wali, Aidy Bryant, Stephanie Izard, Evanescence
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): David Oyelowo, Lonnie Chavis, Joanna Garcia Swisher
• “The Crime of the Century” (HBO): Examining the inner workings at Purdue Pharma and the FDA, as well as the campaign to redefine pain and its treatment.
• “The Voice” (NBC): The winner of the four-way knockout is revealed; the remaining top 17 artists perform in front of coaches for their chance at a spot in the top 9.
• “Lifetime Presents Variety’s Power of Women: The Comedians” (LIFETIME): Honoring the comedic impact of Mindy Kaling, Maya Rudolph, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Sofía Vergara, Michaela Coel and Kate McKinnon; tribute to Gilda Radner, and the charitable foundation Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit.

• Childish Gambino — is being sued by Florida rapper Kidd Wes over his 2018 song ‘This Is America’. A lawsuit says the song has “substantial similarities” Kidd Wes’ 2016 song ‘Made in America’. In 2019, This Is America became the first rap song to win a Grammy for song of the year.
• Demi Lovato – has joined the lineup for Glenn Close’s mental health event. She’ll be a guest “A Conversation Starter”, a digital event for Close’s Bring Change to Mind organization, which encourages open dialogue about mental health. The May 23 discussion will also feature Anderson Cooper, who lost his brother Carter to suicide, as moderator.
• Celine Dion — has postponed her Courage World Tour until 2023. In a video message, she said: “I was really looking forward to seeing all of you in Europe this summer. But unfortunately, because of the situation in our world things just keep getting pushed back. But please don’t despair, we feel really good about doing the shows in 2023 and I can’t wait to finally see you.”
• Tina Turner – won this year’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame fan vote. She collected more than 585,000 votes, while Afrobeat pioneer Fela Kuti was 2nd with 545,000. Rounding out the top 5 were the Go-Go’s, Iron Maiden and Foo Fighters. These 5 will now comprise a fan ballot that will be tallied alongside more than 1,000 others from artists, historians and music industry moguls.
• Soundgarden – Chris Cornell’s family has settled a lawsuit filed in 2018 against a doctor who they said over-prescribed him drugs. They alleged that medication, especially the anti-anxiety drug lorazepam, prescribed by Dr. Robert Koblin, led to erratic behavior by Cornell before his death in 2017 at age 52.
• Coldplay — enlisted astronaut Thomas Pesquet to launch their new single ‘Higher Power’ from the International Space Station on Thursday night. They joined Pesquet, who is currently on board the ISS, for a live video chat before a performance of the song. Chris Martin told him: “We sent you some music because right now we aren’t able to play for anybody on Earth so we thought we’d just play for you.”
• Luke Bryan — is getting set to open up to fans in a new way with the release of his 5-part docuseries, “Luke Bryan: My Dirt Road Diary”, which is in development at Amazon Prime streaming channel IMDb TV. The series will include interviews and home videos, and is scheduled to air this summer.
• Dierks Bentley – has announced his “2021 Beers on Me Tour”, slated to start Aug. 13 in Salt Lake City UT. Riley Green and Parker McCollum will open, with Mitchell Tenpenny aboard for a few of the 22 dates, running through Oct. 22.
• (***NOTE CONTENT***) Jessie James Decker – Here’s what she wrote to her 3.6 million Insta followers on Thursday: “I treated myself to new boobies.” She explained that since she is “done having children”, the 33-year-old thought it was time to treat herself, and she is “super happy” with the results.


A group of scientists are claiming that recently-released NASA photos prove there is life on Mars. The photographs show what appears to be fungi on the Red Planet, which, would prove that Mars is in fact home to some forms of life. The theory comes from Microbiologist Dr Xinli Wei from the Chinese Academy of Sciences, astrophysicist Dr Rudolph Schild from Harvard-Smithsonian and Dr. Rhawn Gabriel Joseph, who studied NASA’s Curiosity rover images. They’ve dubbed the odd-looking specimens as a type of mushroom. The fungi change along with Mars’ seasons, and are believed to grow up to a staggering 300 metres in the spring, but will disappear by the time winter comes round. The scientists believe that this “may represent massive colonies of black fungi, mould, lichens, algae, methanogens and sulfur reducing species.”
(I’m pretty sure they were looking at a picture of my basement…)
(And this is the place Elon Musk wants people to live?)
(Sounds delicious!)

Do you turn the volume down when you park the car? Do you catch yourself groaning when you have to bend down? I’ve got bad news: Those are tell-tale signs you’re getting old, according to Gen Z’ers. In a poll of 2,000 adults under the age of 30, other indicators that you’re officially over-the-hill included: becoming obsessed with garbage day, insisting on wearing comfortable shoes, and using hashtags incorrectly. Watching weather reports on TV and using the word “funky” also made the list. Other warnings that you’re no longer down with the kids, according to the kids, include struggling to use your remote control, using a gas BBQ, having a DVD collection, using headphones with a cord, and asking for a “Rachel” cut at the hairdresser. The number #1 sign of old age? Ordering a cappuccino.
(They can say whatever they want, as long as they stay off my lawn!)
(Thank God those hooligans didn’t say anything about my groovy dungarees!)
(I had to turn the radio down to park the car when I was 17!)

BAT 101:
A new study says humans can be trained to use bat-style “sonar” techniques, or echolocation. Echolocation is a technique used by animals such as bats and dolphins to determine the shape and location of unseen objects by emitting a high-frequency sound and listening for the echo. As reported in the journal PLOS ONE, researchers recruited 15 people for an experiment where they had to distinguish between two different cylinders. With the objects obscured from view, they used a mobile device to emit a high-frequency sound, before analyzing the echo to determine which of the cylinders was being targeted. The device used a tone in the range bats use for echolocation, which humans can’t hear, so a sensor was used to receive the echoes. Participants were successfully able to identify which of the cylinders was being targeted as long as the objects were rotating rather than stationary. Previous research has indicated that some visually impaired people may be able to develop the technique in order to judge spaces and improve their navigation skills.
(Yeah, that’s great and all…but now could they stop studying how we could be more like Batman, and start on something useful…like Spiderman?)
(Of course, they REALLY easy way to identify something in the dark is to stub your toe on it…)

Try these aromatherapy essential oils . . .
➢ Rosemary:  It produces a sweet, earthy flavor that’s been scientifically shown to improve memory. It also improves mood. (Of course, so do donuts…)
➢ Lavender:  Can decrease levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, which increases irritability, and decreases cognitive abilities. It has been shown to help people complete math problems faster and more accurately. (I bet they still couldn’t balance MY checkbook!)
➢ Lemon:  Enhances positive mood even more so than lavender for some people, and has been found to decrease stress levels.
➢ Peppermint:  Improves memory…both working and long-term. Also has been shown to cure pain, stomach ailments and chest congestion. (Which explains why I caught [***co-host***] sniffing toothpaste this morning…)
(Anyone want to suggest a smell that might DECREASE productivity?)

The steep increases in wood prices that many countries have recently experienced are resulting in more expensive toilet paper. Prices for market pulp have jumped from US $606 per metric ton in September to more than $907 in April.  Kimberly Clark, the maker of Scott toilet paper, has already announced increases in prices to retailers, saying they “are necessary to help offset significant commodity cost inflation.” (Fortunately, I still have that bag of leaves from spring clean-up…)


1946 [75] Donovan (Leitch), Glasgow Scotland, psychedelic rock singer-songwriter (‘Mellow Yellow’, ‘Sunshine Superman’)

1955 [66] Chris Berman, Greenwich CT, former ESPN/ABC-TV sportscaster (“SportsCenter”, “Monday Night Countdown”, “Sunday NFL Countdown”, “Baseball Tonight”)/current “NFL Primetime” contributor

1960 [61] Bono (Paul Hewson), Dublin Ireland, rock singer (U2-‘With or Without You’, ‘Beautiful Day’)/the only person nominated for an Oscar, Grammy, Golden Globe, and Nobel Prize

1965 [56] Linda Evangelista, St. Catharines ON, supermodel (over 700 magazine covers, famous for saying about supermodels: “We don’t wake up for less than $10,000 a day.”)

1967 [54] Young MC (Marvin Young), London England, rapper (‘Bust A Move’)

1978 [43] Kenan Thompson, Atlanta, GA, TV Actor (“Kenan” since 2021, “Saturday Night Live” since 2003)/longest-tenured SNL cast member in history – 18 seasons. COMING UP…”Clifford the Big Red Dog”, 2021

• “Golf Day”, it’s time to pull those clubs out of storage, dust them off, and get ready to hit the green again! Golf Day heralds the beginning of the more ‘Golfer friendly’ part of the year. To honor the occasion, here are some…
⇒ It’s nice to get out and see some grass that’s actually been mowed.
⇒ If you hang around the house, you end up having to fix something.
⇒ That wonderful feeling of accomplishment when you hit the ball 20 yards into the rough…again.
⇒ We need more frustration in our lives.
⇒ Too old for baseball, too young for checkers.

• “Clean Up Your Room Day”. What, once a year? Were you born in a barn?

• “Trust Your Intuition Day”, a day to listen to your ‘gut feelings’ and act upon them. Is it true … are women better at this than men? (I had a feeling they were…)

• “National Small Business Day”. A ‘small business’ is commonly defined as one with fewer than 100 employees. (Many of today’s small businesses used to be big businesses…)

• “World Lupus Day”, to create awareness of the potentially fatal auto-immune disease capable of damaging virtually any part of the body. 9-out-of-10 people with lupus are women (such as Selena Gomez)

• “Women’s Check-Up Day”, an annual event during “Women’s Health Week” to raise awareness of manageable steps women can take to improve their health. It’s also a reminder that regular check-ups are important.

• “National Shrimp Day”, Some shrimpy whack facts:
✓ Most of the shrimp consumed in the United States comes from the Atlantic and Pacific coasts and the Gulf Coast.
✓ Generally speaking, the colder the water, the smaller and more succulent the shrimp.
✓ Shrimp change color when you cook them due to a heat induced chemical change in their shells.
✓ Jumbo and colossal shrimp are referred to as prawns – although the prawn is actually a different species.
✓ The Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Restaurant was inspired by 1994 film “Forrest Gump”. It operates about 40 restaurants worldwide.

[Tues] Eat What You Want Day
[Tues] Twilight Zone Day
[Wed] International Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day
[Wed] Limerick Day
This Week Is…National Nurses Week
This Month Is…Dental Care Awareness Month

1986 [35] Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee marries actress Heather Locklear (They would divorce in 1993)

2005 [16] Actress and model Heidi Klum weds soul and R&B singer-songwriter Seal in Costa Careyes, Mexico (They would divorce in 2014)

2010 [11] NYC’s Apollo Theater begins installing bronze plaques on the sidewalk outside the building, of legends with close ties to the venue (among the first: Ella Fitzgerald, James Brown, Michael Jackson, Smokey Robinson)

2019 [02] Rihanna announces her new upmarket fashion label “Fenty” with the world’s largest luxury group LVMH, becoming their first black female designer

2011 [10] Microsoft announces plans to purchase Internet phone service Skype for $8.5 billion

2017 [04] Apple becomes the first company to be worth more than $800 billion (current worth: $2.08 trillion)

2013 [08] NYC’s One World Trade Center becomes the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere


✓ Rolls Royce cars are covered in 5 layers of paint, weighing more than 100 pounds.
✓ Coffee beans have very little taste until they’re roasted.
✓ If you go blind in one eye, you only lose about one-fifth of your vision.
✓ The average baby spends 27.5 months in diapers.
✓ A suit of medieval armor was once found in a tiger shark’s stomach.
✓ 75% of people who use Q-tips stick them in their ear, even though the box says not to.

Best of BS . . .
• Your phone rings at 3AM.
• Your mechanic wants to “show you something”.
• You skip makeup for the day and everyone asks if you’re sick.
• The restaurant parking lot is empty.
• She doesn’t text back.
• Your UBER driver has had more to drink than you have.
• Your teenager starts the conversation by telling you what a great Mom you are.
• Your doctor tells you to say, “Ahhh”…then gasps.
• You’re invited to someone’s house for dinner and there’s no hand soap in the bathroom.
• The kids are suddenly very quiet…
• Your wife asks, “Notice anything different?”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

➠ A Tennessee senior citizen was arrested after allegedly stealing a police cruiser. (Police caught her several days later . . . stopped at a green light with the left turn-signal on.)
➠ “American Idol” is down to its final 2 episodes of the season. (The winner will instantly rocket to superstardom. Isn’t that right, girl who won Season 18?)
➠ We celebrated Mom on Sunday. (My Mom’s the best. But I still won’t accept her Facebook friend request…)
➠ Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  (. . . Or, as it’s known in the NBA . . . “The most dreaded day of the year.”)
➠ An Ohio senator was caught driving while attending a Zoom meeting to discuss a bill about distracted driving. (As bad as this may seem, let’s just thank God the meeting wasn’t about Teenage Pregnancy!)

• Who painted “The Mona Lisa”?
a) Pablo Picasso
b) Leonardo da Vinci [CORRECT]
c) Vincent van Gogh
d) Bob Ross

• Which fellow ’90s star is Sarah Michelle Gellar married to?
a) Josh Hartnett
b) Freddie Prinze Jr. [CORRECT]
c) Macaulay Culkin
d) Hannibal Lecter

• What city does Starbucks call home?
a) Seattle
b) Denver
c) Montreal
d) TimBUCKtu

Typical Monday:

Why do they call it a Zoom meeting and not a “Co-vid”?

If you could, would you go back and do high-school again? Or was once enough?

Question:  About 10% of adults have had the same one of THESE since elementary school. What is it?
Answer:  Best Friend

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.


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