May 30 2023

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Tuesday, May 30, 2023 — Edition: #7484

Sheet Rocks!


★ Ariana Madix is making bank off the heartbreak of her ex-boyfriend Tom Sandoval’s cheating scandal — potentially pulling in 6-figures for each brand deal she inks. Branding expert Bernt Ullmann said the “Vanderpump Rules” star was probably making about $15,000-30,000 for each brand deal before the explosive cheating scandal came to light — but those numbers have drastically changed now, thanks to the fact that she’s the victim of the “Scandoval”, instantly becoming a fan favorite. Ullman says it’s likely she’s making at least $75k per deal — and that number could skyrocket to as much as $200k.
★ Martin Scorsese is on a post-Cannes tour of Italy, where the director, known for having an interest in religion, met with Pope Francis and announced that he’ll make a film about Jesus. Scorsese said he has “responded to the Pope’s appeal to artists in the only way I know how: by imagining and writing a screenplay for a film about Jesus.” He also suggested it may be his next project, explaining that he is “about to start making it.”
★ Melissa McCarthy’s “The Little Mermaid” make-up artist has hit back at critics who say a queer cosmetics expert should have been hired for the job. Oscar-winner Peter King has faced a backlash from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” contestants who think he shouldn’t have landed the contract to transform McCarthy’s sea witch character ‘Ursula’, who was modelled after drag icon ‘Divine’. King called the objections to him doing the job “ridiculous” and “very offensive”, saying : “Why can’t I do as good a job as a queer makeup artist?…don’t put people down because they’re not what they want it to be.”
★ Will Ferrell is reportedly in talks to star in a biopic about an NFL legend. It’s being reported that the “Anchorman” star is in discussions to portray late coach and TV commentator ‘John Madden’ in “Madden”, a feature from MGM/Amazon Studios to be directed by David O. Russell. Deadline says the project has been in the works for some time, with Russell in the midst of a script rewrite until the WGA strike placed the project on hold.
★ It’s hard to believe that Robert Downey Jr. could’ve played any other Marvel character but ‘Iron Man’ — but it almost happened. For the 15th anniversary of Iron Man’s release, Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige and Jon Favreau — who directed, produced and appeared as ‘Happy Hogan’ in the 2008 film — revealed that Downey Jr. almost didn’t play the iconic Marvel hero. In an interview published on YouTube, Favreau told Feige: “I remember you had all met with [Downey] already for like ‘Doctor Doom’ …on another project…I think he had come through on maybe Fantastic Four, so everybody sort of knew who he was.” Julian McMahon ultimately played Doom, and Downey Jr. spawned the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Iron Man.
★ Bob Saget’s death in 2022 was a key to healing a rift between John Stamos and the Olsen Twins. The sequel to ’80s sitcom “Full House” was the Netflix series “Fuller House”, which ran for 5 seasons. The series featured all Full House‘s main characters except for the Olsens. On a podcast, Stamos revealed that he was initially angry at the perceived snub by the twins, saying he heard “rumors” that they hated being on the original show and felt it marred their childhood. But the Olsens and Stamos reconnected at Saget’s funeral, and later, as proof there were no hard feelings, the twins visited Stamos at his home, bringing “a pork chop and sage,” Stamos said: “I don’t know why, but thank you? It was a frozen pork chop, so that was really nice.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Salma Hayek Pinault, Billy Crudup, Justine Skye (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Aniston, Sarah Snook, Preacher Lawson (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Nick Kroll, Rep. Jim Himes, Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Leslie Jones, Rosie Perez (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Asa Hutchinson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tracey Bregman (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Josh Groban, Ronald Gladden, Scott Keyes, “Live’s ‘American Idol’ Encore” winner Colin Stough
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Hannah Waddingham, Reid Scott
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Fat Joe, Nick Kroll, Jurnee Smollett (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Magic Johnson, Mickey Guyton (R)
• “The Game Show Show” (ABC): Season 1 finale
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Season 18 premiere
• “Hot Wheels: Ultimate Challenge” (NBC): Series premiere. Superfans face off in transforming an ordinary vehicle into an extraordinary Hot Wheels showstopper.
• “30 for 30” (ESPN): American Gladiators, Part 1 – documentary.

• Demi Lovato – has dropped a new reworking of her 2015 hit ‘Cool for the Summer’. Like her recent rock reimagining for ‘Heart Attack’, Lovato rerecorded Cool for the Summer to better reflect where she is now musically. LINK:
• Sam Smith – has teased an upcoming collaboration with Madonna. Smith posted a brief video in which they each whisper their names rhythmically, “Sam and Madonna.” No further details so far. LINK:
• Hanson – has teamed up with English pop-punkers Busted on a new version of ‘MMMBop’ In recent months, the reunited band of brothers has been re-working their hits, including collaborations with Neck Deep and Simple Plan. Hanson will support Busted on their 20th anniversary tour of the UK later this year. LINK:
• Oasis — Noel Gallagher said in an interview that he has rediscovered alternative takes from the group’s “Definitely Maybe” album sessions in 1993 and 1994, and hopes to release them. He reports there is “some interesting stuff” there, adding: “now we can sell the album for the fifth time all over again!”
• Queen – The rights to the group’s catalogue could soon be sold for an estimated $1.1 billion, according to several high-level music industry insiders. If the deal goes through, it would be the biggest single-artist catalog sale in history, more than doubling Bruce Springsteen’s $500 million sale in 2021.
• Jimmie Allen – has listed his Nashville house for sale on the heels of his divorce, and the bombshell rape allegation against him. TMZ says the home in suburban Brentwood is now going for $2.5 million. He initially listed the 5-bed, 5-bath home, sitting on 1.5 acres, for just under $3M last month.
• Morgan Wallen – has hooked up with rapper Lil Durk on his song ‘Stand By Me’. Featured on Lil Durk’s new album “Almost Healed”, the country-trap tune marks the second time the 2 have collaborated, following 2021’s ‘Broadway Girls’.
• Clint Black — Clay Walker is stepping up to fill-in for him and headline The 5th Annual Black Gold Bash on June 7 in Texas, after doctors ordered Black off the road for urgent back surgery. Black also has been forced to postpone or cancel several of his upcoming Summer’s Comin’ Tour dates. LINK:


New research says that maintaining positive relationships with parents as a child and teen contributes to your health and well-being into adulthood. A study tracking almost 16,000 American adolescents over 14 years, conducted by the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, found that those who reported positive perceptions of their relationships with their mom and dad experienced a variety of benefits, including much better general health into their 20s and 30s. They were also found to be more optimistic about their future and had healthier romantic relationships. In addition, they experienced less stress and depression, and were less likely to use nicotine or become dependent on alcohol or drugs. The study also discovered a decreased likelihood of unplanned pregnancies. Study authors say the results show the importance of quality parenting relationships.
(You’ll live longer if you get along with your parents? Funny, that’s exactly what my father used to tell me!)
(Those who got along with their parents were also found more likely to receive a convertible for graduation, too!)

A pizza company is letting customers buy now — and pay after they’re dead. Making things even more morbid, Hell Pizza says its AfterLife Pay system is running as a trial for 666 people. The New Zealand pizza company has unveiled its “buy now, pay later” system, where participating customers, who must be residents of New Zealand or Australia, are required to sign a real amendment to their wills, which allows their pizza debts to be collected after they’ve passed on. There are no interest rates or fees in the program. CEO Benn Cumming says the “light-hearted” marketing stunt was inspired by current ‘buy now, pay later’ programs offered to Kiwis.
(If there’s any justice in this world, when the pizza place finally gets paid…they’ll discover they got someone else’s money!)
(You have a slice now, and they get a piece of you later!)

What would be the perfect vacation – to you? Researchers think they’ve come up with the formula, after polling 2,000 holidaymakers aged 18-34, to identify the elements that are likely to make or break a getaway. They found that traveling with at least 4 people, enjoying at least 4 new experiences, and finding one “hidden gem” are some of the most important things. 36% felt that stepping out of your comfort zone is necessary for an unforgettable trip, while 32% said that making new friends is key. And it was generally agreed that trying at least 3 new dishes is important, too. The OnePoll survey also found that an outstanding trip will see 45 photos and 15 videos taken — to capture the 4 “perfect moments” that should be experienced.
(Then, you turn 35, and the perfect vacation involves NEVER leaving your comfort zone, and mostly doing yard work!)
(The problem with vacationing in a group of 4 is this: You can be easily outvoted every time you want to do something. But, come to think of it…the same thing happens when I’m with just my wife!)

According to a survey of fans…
1. “Survivor” (2000- Present)
2. “The Amazing Race” (2001- Present)
3. “RuPaul’s Drag Race” (2009- Present)
4. “American Idol” (2002- Present)
5. “The Real World” (1992-2017)
(You know what would be much more interesting? A list of the WORST reality shows of all time!)

☞ Enjoying coffee before anyone else wakes up.
☞ Writing with a nice pen.
☞ Freshly washed sheets.
☞ Using your favorite spatula.
☞ Having plans canceled (of course…).
☞ A good hair (or makeup) day.
☞ Free samples.
☞ Weekday holidays.
☞ Getting your favorite dessert.
☞ Coupons for something you actually need.
☞ That deep breath you take when you get in your car after work.
(What else?)

If you’re extroverted, you’re less likely to be replaced by a robot at your job, according to a new study. In an analysis of data from the American Institutes of Research, study authors “found that regardless of social background, people with higher levels of intelligence, higher levels of maturity and extraversion, (and) higher interests in arts and sciences” are less likely to “select (or be selected) into less computerizable jobs…years later.”) [I’d still hang on to those pics of your boss in a compromising situation…just in case…]


• “Mint Julep Day”, celebrating the delicious and refreshing Summer cocktail made with bourbon whiskey, mint, water, and sugar. (Sounds best if you order one using a Southern accent!)
• “Water a Flower Day”, because nourishing a little bit of natural beauty might be the only truly worthwhile thing you do all day. (No, Rover! Stop!)
• “Loomis Day”, Mahlon Loomis was a dentist, the inventor of artificial teeth, and one of the earliest inventors of wireless communication (in 1872). (Thanks to him, your mother can text you about what she’s having for dinner!)
• “World MS Day”, the Multiple Sclerosis International Federation’s annual campaign to raise awareness of the condition, and to support and connect the 2.3 million people living with it. LINK:
• “National Creativity Day”, whether you’re an artist, writer, musician, filmmaker, blogger, photographer, graphic artist, or any of 100 other creative personalities, today we celebrate you and your creative pursuit. (My creativity peaked with a macaroni necklace in kindergarten…)
• “Hole In My Bucket Day”, this wacky holiday is in honor of the fun children’s song ‘There’s a Hole in My Bucket’. (Yup. Slow day.)

[Wed] Smile Day
[Wed] No Tobacco Day
[Thurs] Say Something Nice Day
[Fri] Donut Day
This Month is…Date Your Mate Month
This Month is…Motorcycle Safety Month

1964 [59] Wynonna Judd (Christina Ciminella), Ashland KY, country singer (‘No One Else on Earth’, The Judds-‘Love Can Build a Bridge’)/half-sister of Ashley Judd, daughter of the late Naomi Judd

1964 [59] Tom Morello (“The Nightwatchman”), Harlem NY, rock guitarist (Rage Against the Machine-‘Killing in the Name’, Audioslave-‘Like a Stone’, touring member of Springsteen’s E Street Band 2008-15)

1971 [52] Idina Menzel, Syosset NY, Broadway actress (“Rent”, “Wicked”)/movie actress (‘Queen Elsa’ in “Frozen”)/TV actress (“Glee” 2010-13)/pop singer (‘Let It Go’)

1971 [52] John Ross Bowie, New York City, TV actor (‘Barry Kripke’ on “The Big Bang Theory” 2009-19, ‘Jimmy’ on “Speechless” 2016-19)

1975 [48] Cee-Lo Green (Thomas Callaway), Atlanta GA, rapper-pop singer-songwriter-producer (‘Forget You’, Gnarls Barkley-‘Crazy’)/TV personality (“The Voice” 2011-13)

1999 [24] Sean Giambrone, St. Joseph MI, TV actor (‘Adam Goldberg’ on “The Goldbergs” 2013-2023)

2008 [15] “Sex & The City: The Movie” opens in theaters

2014 [09] “Maleficent”, starring Angelina Jolie as the villainess from “Sleeping Beauty”, debuts in movie theaters

2000 [23] Eminem’s second major-label release, “The Marshall Mathers LP”, becomes the fastest-selling rap album ever, unloading 1.76 million copies in its first week

2015 [08] Enrique Iglesias slices his fingers open while trying to grab a drone camera taking pictures of the audience at his concert in Tijuana, Mexico

1911 [112] The first “Indianapolis 500″ auto race is held (Ray Harroun wins, averaging 75 mph (120kph)

2020 [03] SpaceX becomes the first private company to launch astronauts into space, as the Falcon 9 rocket carries the Dragon capsule from Cape Canaveral to the International Space Station.

1979 [44] Ted Coombs begins a 5,193-mile (8,357km) roller-skate from LA to NYC (exceeded in 1986)


✓ The longest-ever Monopoly game lasted 70 days. Straight. The shortest? 21 seconds.
✓ That tiny pocket in jeans was designed to store pocket watches.
✓ Sudan has nearly twice as many pyramids as Egypt.
✓ Dead skin cells are a main ingredient in household dust.
✓ Potato chips are flammable, and make good kindling. Especially those powdered with seasoning.
✓ Lemons float, but limes sink.
-ReadersDigest, FactSlides

Best of BS . . .
• Notes of cardboard, plastic and divorce court.
• The fruity undertones of a juice box found shoved between the seats of a ‘95 Dodge Caravan.
• Grape juice with a hint of feet.
• Has a gritty, sandy finish.
• Presents a pretentious and patrician feel, and attracts a gallimaufry of vague and abstract words that you won’t understand without a dictionary.
• Hints of leather, tobacco, lavender, pencil shavings and petroleum. But never of grape.
• Pairs nicely with pasture grass and repeatedly headbutting a wooden fence post.
• Like Sunny D, but with a kick.
• Tastes like a wrung-out bar rag.
• Jesus would have turned this crap back into water.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2022

• High heels.
• A “nature sounds” CD.
• Fish-scented body spray.
• Grey Poupon.
• Hitchhikers.
• A pine air freshener.
• A hotel room.
• The Wi-Fi password.
• Soft-boiled ostrich eggs.
• The kitchen sink (although I have been known to bring everything BUT…)
• Mosquito attractant.
• Me.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

When life hits back:

If my mother sends you a gift or a card, please write her back and let her know you received it. Otherwise, I’ll be hearing about it for the rest of my life…

What outdated slang do you use on a regular basis?

Question:  Even though experts recommend against it, about 1/3 of pet owners do THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Use their pets’ names as passwords.

A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.


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