Thursday, May 19, 2022 — Edition: #7234
Sheet Happens!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet will not be publishing on Monday, May 23 to observe the Canadian Victoria Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 24.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ It would be the biggest comeback in Hollywood history — and a slap in the face to Will Smith. Speculation is mounting that Chris Rock will be named host of next year’s Oscars — after being spectacularly smacked down at this year’s ceremony by Best Actor winner Smith. ABC’s President of Entertainment Craig Erich says he’s open to having Rock helm the 2023 Academy Awards. Erich also said next year’s show, which will be held in March, will be “even better.” The broadcast exec told Deadline that he is happy with the ratings for this year, but the decision to have Rock host next year would likely increase viewership astronomically.
-NYPost
★ Jimmy Kimmel has tested positive for COVID-19 — again. The “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” host revealed Tuesday night that he still has the virus, after sharing earlier this month that he contracted COVID. He wrote on Twitter: “I’m such a positive person, I tested positive AGAIN. I am feeling fine,” before posting that John Mulaney and Andy Samberg would be stepping in for him on the show last night. Kimmel’s positive test result comes just over a week after returning to his hosting duties on May 9, following an earlier positive test.
-ETCanada
★ Dan Rather, whose broadcast journalism career has spanned 6 decades, including as anchor of CBS Evening News from 1981-2005, has been given the Peabody Career Achievement Award. The honor, for individuals whose work and commitment to broadcasting and digital media have left an indelible mark on the field and in American culture, was announced Tuesday. Dolly Parton presented Rather with the award virtually. Rather covered the Kennedy assassinations and the civil rights movement, and reported from Vietnam before being named CBS’ chief anchor. He also was a longtime correspondent for “60 Minutes”. Previous recipients of the career honor include Carol Burnett, Rita Moreno, Cicely Tyson and Sam Pollard.
-Deadline
★ Helen Mirren and Harrison Ford are joining the “Yellowstone” universe in the upcoming series “1932” for Paramount+. “1932,” which is the show’s working title, is an origin story introducing a new generation of the Dutton family. It’ll explore “the early 20th century when pandemics, historic drought, the end of Prohibition and the Great Depression all plague the mountain West and the Duttons who call it home,” according to the streamer. 1932 is the latest in the Yellowstone franchise, which also includes “1883” and “Yellowstone.” It is scheduled to premiere in December.
-TheWrap
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Milo Ventimiglia, Jessie Buckley, Franz Ferdinand, guest hosts John Mulaney and Andy Samberg
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): JoJo Siwa, Rina Sawayama
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mike Myers, Minha Kim
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ricky Gervais, Emmy Rossum, Ashe
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jean Smart, Joshua Jackson, DNCE
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Bethenny Frankel, Ali Wentworth
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Selma Blair, JoJo Siwa, guest co-host Stephanie Grisham
• “The Talk” (CBS): Renee Elise Goldsberry, Kovid Kapoor
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Judd Apatow, guest co-host Emmy Rossum
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kerry Washington, Brad Paisley, Michelle Obama
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Alanis Morissette, Joe Alwyn, Tears for Fears
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Scarlett Johansson (R)
• “The Wendy Williams Show” (BET, Fox): Erika Jayne, guest host Michael Rapaport
• “Station 19″ (ABC): Season 5 finale. Andy tracks down a witness to testify at her trial.
• “Big Sky” (ABC): Season 2 finale. Jenny works to find Travis before he reaches a dangerous point of no return.
• “Young Sheldon” (CBS): Season 5 finale. Sheldon struggles to cope with his first signs of puberty.
• “Law & Order” (NBC): Season 21 finale. Also, finales tonight for “Special Victims Unit” and “Organized Crime”.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift — The second trailer for the film adaptation of Delia Owens’ novel “Where the Crawdads Sing” arrived this week, bringing with it a better glimpse at her original song for the soundtrack, ‘Carolina’, including the lyrics: “I’ll make a fist, I’ll make it count.” The film arrives July 15. LINK: https://youtu.be/hoSHYfCqgK0
• Justin Bieber – is collaborating with Tim Hortons again. After teaming up last fall for Timbiebs Timbits, the Canadian donut chain has announced “Biebs Brew” — a French vanilla cold brew. Fans in Canada and the US can try it starting June 6. A stainless-steel tumbler co-created by Bieber will also be available.
• Michael Jackson – His iconic “Thriller” album will be reissued in an expanded edition in celebration of its 40th anniversary on Nov. 18. The 2-CD set will feature the original album, plus a second disc of “never-released tracks which were worked on by Michael” for Thriller.
• The Beatles — Director Peter Jackson’s 8-hour documentary “The Beatles: Get Back” will be released on 3-DVD and 3-Blu-Ray sets on July 12. Physical home video editions of the 2021 doc were previously announced to come out 6 months earlier, but that release was canceled due to a defect in the discs.
• Ozzy Osbourne – His wife Sharon has confirmed that his new album will drop in September. It was previously announced by drummer Chad Smith (RHCP) that the collection will feature appearances by “the English royalty of guitar players”, including Eric Clapton, Tony Iommi and Jeff Beck, among others.
• Thomas Rhett – wants to make an album about “Dadding”. The father of 4 daughters with Lauren Akins believes he could share some parenting tips through music for new parents. His (joking) potential song titles include: ‘Eat Your Breakfast’, ‘Where’d You Learn That Word’, ‘Sugar Diet’, and ‘If I Wake Up at 4 AM I Can Workout … Maybe’.
• Darius Rucker — is heading back to his hometown of Charleston SC in a new show called “Rucker’s Reno”. It will follow him as he renovates a historic mansion that is currently a vacant city landmark. Rucker’s Reno premieres on May 30 on the Design Network.
• Reba McEntire — is headed back to TV, joining the ABC series “Big Sky” in a regular role for its third season. She’ll play ‘Sunny Brick’, a successful backcountry outfitter with a secret history of missing customers. McEntire is joining the cast along with Jensen Ackles and Jamie Lynn-Sigler as series regulars.
• Keith Whitley and Jerry Lee Lewis – are both going into The Country Music Hall of Fame. Lewis will be inducted in the “Veterans Era Artist” category, and Whitley will be inducted in the “Modern Era Artist” category. A ceremony will be held at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum in the CMA Theater this fall.
SHOOTING THE BULL
DON’T GET HER STARTED. DARN. WE GOT HER STARTED:
A marriage therapist has revealed the top complaint she hears about men from their wives. Corrin Voeller is also a speaker and online educator from Minnesota. She says, as you might have guessed, for many women, their biggest problem with their husbands has to do with . . . housework. In a viral TikTok video (viewed more than 1.5 million times), she said: “One of the top things I hear from women as a complaint (is that) that their husbands are waiting for them to tell them what needs to be done.” She goes on to explain the difference between ‘active responsibility’ and ‘passive responsibility,’ saying “Active responsibility would be you looking around the house for things you could do and taking responsibility for the things that need to happen within the house. Passive responsibility would be being available to help, but waiting for somebody to tell you what needs to be done.” So, what should guys be doing? According to Voeller, what women really want is someone “who is actively responsible for the house and for the children and not waiting for their wife to tell them what to do.”
(Because that way, she can get right to telling you exactly how you did it wrong!)
(Why did I just hear the sound of hundreds of women yelling the word “Preach!”)
-NYPost
THANKS A BUNCH:
Don’t you hate it when your bananas are ‘done’ before you’re done with them? Not only is it a waste of money to have to throw out your brown and mushy bananas, it’s also a waste of food, something we should all be very aware of these days. Well, get ready for a game-changer. Bananas that DON’T TURN BROWN could be on the way. The color-changing phenomenon has been slowed by scientists at Florida State University, offering hope for reducing tons of food waste. It’s a complicated fix, that we won’t go into detail about here, but bananas go soggy because of too much oxygen. The scientists found a way to slow formation of the spots by decreasing oxygen levels in their tiny formation sites. The research team says their discovery could help decrease the estimated 50 million tons of food waste which occurs annually as stores and consumers throw out bananas due to their unappetizing appearance.
(Maybe so, but if we never have mushy bananas again, get set for a severe shortage of banana bread!)
(All that research – and they never did a THING about those yucky banana strings?)
-StudyFinds
DON’T LOSE YOUR CAP ABOUT IT:
Coca-Cola is making a change to its bottles, aimed at preventing littering and giving a boost to recycling. In a design move, which is apparently the first for any major soft drink company, Coca-Cola drinks will soon have attached caps. The change is set to come into place this month in Scotland, and will be seen on bottles of Coke, Coca-Cola Zero Sugar, Diet Coke Dr. Pepper, Sprite and other drinks. It is hoped that with the attached caps, Coca-Cola drinkers will be encouraged to recycle the entire product, rather than discarding or littering the caps before putting the bottles in recycle. By early 2024, Coca-Cola Great Britain plans to have switched all its bottles to the new design. No word if there are plans to follow suit in other areas, such as North America. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ynpuhd6z
(My wife’s family was thrilled to hear this. Something about making their mix last longer, I think…)
(Try that with glass bottles!)
-LADBible
ASHLEY MADISON’S DISCREET DICTIONARY:
(***CAUTION – content***) The pandemic brought a many new terms into our daily vocabulary, but the notorious dating site that caters to cheaters is redefining a few key terms for those on the hunt for love — or just a good hook-up…
• Snacking – to try out having more than one sexual/romantic partner
• Super Spreader Event – a threesome during COVID
• Anti-Waxer – a person who has embraced natural body hair during the pandemic
• Home Opener – the first threesome a couple hosts
• Double Masking – to cheat on your affair partner
• Sex Bubble – a close knit group of people who only see each other for sex while staying safe from COVID
• Riding the Wave – to build sexual momentum with multiple affair partners
• Booster – a sex partner you see every few months to keep the momentum going
• Lovesick – describes couples who contracted COVID together
• False Positive – a person who presents themselves better online than in person
-NYPost
DID YOU KNOW?
Cats. You gotta love ’em. Even though we mostly associate a pets’ skill of recognizing its own name with dogs, it’s been proven that cats are good at it, too. But that’s not where it stops for our funny felines. In a new study, scientists in Japan discovered that in addition to knowing their own names, cats appear to recognize the names of other cats they’re familiar with — and may also know the names of people who live in the same household. (Also, they don’t care . . .)
-ScienceAlert
BS CHRONOMETER 05.19.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Personal Support Worker Day”, an awareness day to recognize the essential service PSWs provide in sustaining our health-care system and providing high-quality community and home-based care.
• “Boys & Girls Club Day”, saluting the efforts of those who create and maintain facilities for safe recreational activities for young people, which help teach values and citizenship.
• Brown Bag it Thursday”, You guessed it: Celebrate by bringing a brown bag lunch to school or work. It doesn’t need to be as boring as a peanut butter sandwich and carrots — there are many healthy sandwiches and salads you could make and pack in your brown paper bag. (Any good ideas?)
• “Devil’s Food Cake Day”, enjoyed by chocolate cake lovers around the world. It differs from a regular chocolate cake by its darker color and it tends to be more moist and airy (but it’s never around here long enough to notice that…)
• “Hummus Day”, a ho-hummus-sounding day if we’ve ever heard of one . . .
• “Accounting Day”, Same . . .
• “May Ray Day”, a day for getting outside, soaking up the sun’s rays, and celebrating the warmer weather. May is the last full month of spring in the Northern Hemisphere, when it’s starting to warm up pretty nicely, but it’s not yet so scorching hot that you can’t stand being outside. (The mosquitos, however, are another thing entirely…)
• “World IBD Awareness Day”, to bring together those affected by Crohn’s and Colitis, as well as their friends and family members, and even those who knew nothing about them, in order to increase awareness of them.
• “National Hepatitis Testing Day”, a day to encourage testing for hepatitis B virus (HBV) and hepatitis C virus (HCV). Over 4 million Americans are living with HBV or HCV, and about 2 million don’t know they are infected.
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] NASCAR Day
[Fri] Flower Day
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [77] Pete Townshend, Chiswick England, classic rock guitarist-composer-singer (The Who-‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’, solo-‘Let My Love Open the Door’/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 1990
1954 [68] Phil Rudd, Melbourne Australia, rock drummer (AC/DC-‘You Shook Me All Night Long’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 2003
1983 [39] Michael Che, New York City NY, comedian-actor (“Saturday Night Live” since 2013, “Weekend Update” host since 2014, co-head writer at SNL since 2017)
1992 [30] Sam Smith, London UK, pop-soul singer/songwriter (‘Stay with Me’)
1992 [30] Marshmello [Chris Comstock], Philadelphia PA, marshmallow bucket-headed DJ (‘Alone’, w/Selena Gomez-‘Wolves’)
2003 [19] JoJo Siwa, Omaha NE, TV actress (“The JoJo & BowBow Show Show” 2018-19)/reality show contestant (“Dance Moms” 2015-16)/social media sensation (over 12 million subscribers, more than 3.7 billion views on her YouTube channel)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [10] A day after his company goes public, Facebook founder & CEO Mark Zuckerberg weds long-time girlfriend Priscilla Chan at his home in Palo Alto CA
2013 [09] Donald Trump declares country singer Trace Adkins winner of “The Celebrity Apprentice” on NBC
2018 [04] American actress Meghan Markle marries Prince Harry at a ceremony in Windsor Castle. Queen Elizabeth II grants them the titles of Duke and Duchess of Sussex
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992 [30] Billy Ray Cyrus releases his debut album “Some Gave All”, featuring his signature song ‘Achy Breaky Heart’” The single’s music video spawns a line-dancing trend
2009 [13] The first episode of the TV series “Glee” airs, featuring a Glee Club performance of Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believin’. The Glee version lands at #4 on the Hot 100 – 5 spots higher than Journey’s original
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2020 [02] A study published in “Nature Climate Change” reveals that greenhouse gas emissions dropped 17% worldwide in April 2020, while the world was in lockdown
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2005 [17] “Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith” opens at 12:01 am, then grosses $50 million in a single day, a new box office record (current record: “Avengers: Endgame”: $157 million in 2019)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Sunglasses were originally designed for judges in China to hide their facial expressions in court.
✓ Mosquitoes prefer children to adults, and blondes to brunettes.
✓ A cloud can weigh more than a million pounds (454,000kg).
✓ The inventor of the Pringles can was buried in one.
✓ Other names considered for the Seven Dwarfs: Snoopy, Dippy, Blabby, Woeful and Flabby.
✓ Sesame Street’s ‘Elmo’ is the only non-human to testify before US Congress.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, BestLife
Best of BS . . .
BS PICKUP LINES FOR ROBOTS:
• “Can I binary you a drink?”
• “WD-40 and chill?”
• “I find you riveting.”
• “I’m not saying I’ve got a virus, but I’d certainly corrupt you.”
• “My docking station or yours?”
• “Nice bits!”
• “You compute me.”
• “You’re just the type of robot that I could take home to my motherboard.”
• “Are those real, or were you upgraded in Silicon Valley?”
• “Beep boop boop beep.”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
BS MAY 2-4 WEEKEND CAMPING TIPS:
• You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several Canada geese.
• You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with car.
• A potato baked in the coals for 1 hour makes an excellent meal. A potato baked in the coals for 3 hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
• The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
• You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on north side of your compass.
• ‘Sleeping under the stars’ has nothing to do with a TV competition.
• A lot of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
• In an emergency, a drawstring from a hoodie can be used to strangle a snoring tent-mate.
-First published in BS in 2000
BS WEB GOODIE:
Drum fun (sound up): http://typedrummer.com/
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Drinking 8 glasses of water a day is a great idea — if you live in a bathroom!
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the silliest thing you are pretty good at?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In a survey, 18% of people admitted to stealing THIS from work. What is it?
Answer: Printer paper
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
