May 19 2020

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020   Edition: #6700

Sheet Happens!

★ With Nicholas Cage already locked down to play Joe Exotic in the scripted “Tiger King” series, all eyes are on who will be cast as Carole Baskin. And according to one report, that honor could be going to Tara Reid. Her manager was quoted as saying: “We are in talks with the producers and she is being considered…Tara loves Tiger King…She feels she could get into the character of Carole Baskin very well.” Reid is also set to star in “Tom, Dick & Harry” with Vivica A. Fox, but the project has been put on hold due to the pandemic.
★ One criticism that has dogged “Friends” over the years has been the lack of diversity in a sitcom focused on six white characters. That would certainly not be the case if the show had been produced in 2020, according to Lisa Kudrow (who played ‘Phoebe Buffay’). In a new interview, she was asked about what changes she thought would be made in the show had it been made today. Her reply: “It would not be an all-white cast, for sure.” She feels that the show “should be looked at as a time capsule, not for what they did wrong”, and points out that “Friends” was actually remarkably “progressive” for its time.
★ Ricky Gervais wants to see National Health Service heroes receive honours from Queen Elizabeth II in the 2021 New Year Honours List – instead of celebrities. Gervais has praised the frontline workers for the NHS in the UK, who are fighting to save lives amid the ongoing threat of coronavirus. And because of their hard work, he believes they should be recognized by the Queen in her annual honours ceremony, rather than giving titles – including Knighthoods and Damehoods – to celebrities.
★ Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson says he can’t believe his daughter Simone wants to follow in his footsteps and become a wrestler. The 18-year-old daughter of Dwayne and his ex-wife Dany Garcia has begun training with WWE to become a professional wrestler, and her father – who wrestled professionally for eight years before pursuing an acting career – says it’s ”an honor” to see her take after him.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Janelle Monáe
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ben Stiller, Hannah Gadsby, Tim McGraw
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Gayle King, Amy Sedaris
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Issa Rae, Tom Papa
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ken Jeong, Ava Max
• “Conan” (TBS): Sophie Turner (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Amy Sedaris, Leslie Jordan
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Rep. Mike Kelly
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kathryn Hahn, Kristin Davis
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Susan Lucci, the “American Idol” runner-up, Dr. Doris Day
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Allison Janney, Kesha
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Dylan McDermott, Natalie Dormer
• “After the Dance with Stephen A. Smith” (ABC): Smith is joined by basketball Hall of Famer Magic Johnson and others, to discuss “The Last Dance,” the documentary chronicling Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls teams of the 1990s.
• “The Story of Soaps” (ABC): Tracing how female creators migrated from radio to television to become the dominant force in daytime for more than three decades, and the massive impact the genre has had.
• “The Voice” (NBC): Season 18 finale
• “DC’s Stargirl” (CW):  Series premiere. Courtney’s seemingly perfect life in Los Angeles gets upended with a move to Nebraska; She ultimately becomes the unlikely inspiration for a new generation of superheroes.

➢ May 19:
• “Patton Oswalt: I Love Everything” (Netflix Comedy): Oswalt reflects on attending his daughter’s second-grade art show, which cost him the chance to board a full-scale Millennium Falcon, and how buying a house is like hiring a suicide squad of superhuman subcontractors.
• “Shrek” (Animation/Comedy): On a mission to retrieve a princess from a fire-breathing dragon, the gruff ogre teams up with a wisecracking donkey. (Mike Meyers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz)
➢ May 20:
• “Ben Platt Live From Radio City Music Hall” (Netflix Documentary): The actor and singer performs a sold-out show at Radio City Music Hall in New York.
➢ May 22:
• “The 100: Season 7” (Netflix Sci-fi Original): A century after Earth was devastated by a nuclear apocalypse, 100 space station residents are sent to the planet to determine whether it’s habitable.
• “Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series: season 2”: (Netflix Comedy Original) The animated series returns for Season 2.
(Full list: For releases in other Netflix regions, click here:

• Lady Gaga – some of her confidential legal documents have been leaked. A group of hackers targeted her law firm, Grubman Shire Meiselas & Sacks, which also represents Madonna, Drake and Bruce Springsteen, among others. The hackers are asking for $42 million in ransom to keep the documents from leaking in full.
• Travis Scott – He and LeBron James have collaborated on a new t-shirt, celebrating students set to graduate amid the pandemic. The “Cactus Jack Class of 2020” shirt was designed by Scott and is being sold via his website, with profits to be split between the LeBron James Foundation and the charity Feeding Texas’ coronavirus relief fund.
• Rod Stewart – says he’d be “flattered” if a biopic were to be made about him, and feels that “Notting Hill” star Rhys Ifans would be a good candidate to play him – but “he has got to do something with his barnet.” (That’s Cockney slang for ‘hair’).
• Neil Young – will finally release a long-lost album that never saw the light of day because of a broken heart decades ago. “Homegrown,” recorded in the mid-’70s, features Levon Helm, Emmylou Harris, Robbie Robertson and others, and will drop on June 19.
• Roger Waters – has shared a new quarantine performance. On Sunday, he posted video of a performance of Pink Floyd’s ‘Mother’ from his studio, joined by his touring band remotely.
• Little Richard — will be laid to rest at Oakwood University, where he studied theology in the 1950s. A representative for Oakwood Memorial Gardens confirmed a private funeral will be held at the university in Huntsville, Alabama, tomorrow.
• Hootie & the Blowfish — released a cover of R.E.M.’s 1991 hit ‘Losing My Religion’ on Sunday. Singer Darius Rucker says, “When we were cutting our teeth as a band, almost every night fans would hear us on stage covering R.E.M.” The song is only available on Amazon Music
• Granger Smith – Saturday would have been his late son River’s 4th birthday. Granger and his wife Amber called on his fans to either do “3 acts of kindness today or donate $3 to the River Kelly Fund,” which is a charity set up to help others in need. More than $16,000 was contributed on Sat. alone.
• Miranda Lambert – has released an acoustic video of her single, ‘Bluebird’. She dedicated the clip, which was filmed on the porch of her Tennessee home, to essential workers, first responders and healthcare professionals.
• Kenny Chesney — has cancelled all scheduled dates on his 2020 “Chillaxification Tour”. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, 11 dates on the tour were initially scrapped in March, with hopes of rebooting the tour on May 30 in Pittsburgh, but it is now officially postponed until 2021.

➢ Johannesburg, South Africa commuters are being required to pass through a metal tunnel which dispenses a disinfectant mist prior to boarding public transportation. Real African Works Industries, which makes the booths, says the fog they use is plant-based and tests have shown it is 99.9% effective against bacteria and other pathogens, including a virus similar to the novel coronavirus.
➢ Qatar’s interior ministry has announced that wearing masks is now mandatory for anyone wishing to go outside, and those who do not comply will be fined up to $53,000. Violators could also be jailed up to three years. The only exception is when driving alone in a vehicle. (Just on my way to the mask store, officer!)

➢ There is a very real possibility that if there is an NFL season this fall, there probably won’t be fans in attendance. According to announcer Joe Buck, if that is the case, Fox-TV is planning to use fake crowd noise, and will digitally insert virtual fans to make broadcasts less awkward for viewers at home.
➢ With MLB owners in agreement on a July 4 start to the baseball season, the next discussion will be with the player’s union to request a 50% reduction in players’ salaries to help mitigate the financial impact of the shortened season and fact that fans won’t be invited to buy tickets. Here’s the rub: That will make Prince Fielder, who hasn’t played the game since 2017, the highest-paid player in baseball! Baseball contracts are fully guaranteed, meaning the Texas Rangers, who released Fielder while he was injured, are on the hook for his entire $24 million 2020 payday, while active players may have to agree to a big pay cut in order to play.

⇒ Sheets:  You shed 500 million cells daily. Your bed is also subject to sweat, pollen, pet dander, fungi and mold. Bedding should be washed at least once every two weeks, more often if you sweat a lot at night, or if you’ve been sick. (I’m going to be sick NOW!)
⇒ Pillow:  It absorbs body oil, dead skin cells and hair. To help prolong its’ life, wash it every six months and add a protectant case between the pillow and cover. But it should still be replaced every one to two years.
⇒ Toothbrush (or the brush head on your electric toothbrush): Should be replaced every three to four months, sooner if the bristles look worn out. (or if you share it with someone…)
⇒ Kitchen sponge:  Every week (!!) Bacteria that can cause foodborne disease stay on dish sponges or scrubbers even if they’ve been cleaned in the microwave or in boiling water.  (In our house, we call our teenager the “Kitchen Sponge”!)
⇒ Towel:  You should wash or switch your bath towel at least once a week. Dish towels – pretty much after every use.
⇒ Makeup brush:  You should be buying new makeup brushes about every three months as needed to replace worn-out ones. Signs it’s time to replace your brush include lost bristles, discoloration or unusual smells.
⇒ Reusable water bottle:  To know when to replace it, look out for any foul smells you just can’t get rid of despite washing, any buildup of gunk around the mouthpiece or lid, or cracks in the plastic.
⇒ Yoga mat:  Good news! You don’t necessarily have to replace it regularly — cleaning it properly will do just fine. Cleaning it after every use by wiping it down with a disinfectant is your best bet for proper hygiene. (Or do what my wife does…spill wine on it!)

The annual Summer Solstice Celebration at Stonehenge will be livestreamed this year for the first time. The ancient, mystical site typically hosts one of the world’s most popular summer solstice celebrations, attracting thousands of people, including the druid and pagan community, on the longest day of the year to watch the sun rise behind the Heel Stone. Due to COVID-19, the usual celebration won’t be possible this year, but the summer solstice at Stonehenge will stream live on June 21 on English Heritage’s social media accounts.


1945 [75] Pete Townshend, Chiswick UK, classic rock guitarist-composer-singer (The Who-‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1949 [71] Dusty Hill, Dallas TX, classic rock bassist-singer (ZZ Top-‘Legs’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2004)

1954 [66] Phil Rudd, Melbourne Australia, rock drummer (AC/DC-‘You Shook Me All Night Long’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1992 [28] Sam Smith, London UK, pop-soul singer/songwriter (‘Stay with Me’)

1992 [28] Marshmello (Chris Comstock), Philadelphia PA, marshmallow bucket-headed DJ (‘Alone’, w/Selena Gomez-‘Wolves’)

2003 [17] JoJo Siwa, Omaha NE, TV actress (“The JoJo & BowBow Show Show” 2018-19/reality show contestant (“Dance Moms” 2015-16)/social media sensation with over 11 million subscribers and more than 3 billion views on her YouTube channel

• “Personal Support Worker Day”, an awareness day to recognize the essential service PSWs provide in sustaining our health-care system and providing high-quality community and home-based care.

• “Boys & Girls Club Day”, saluting the efforts of those who create and maintain facilities for safe recreational activities for young people that help teach values and citizenship.

• “Devil’s Food Cake Day”, enjoyed by chocolate cake lovers around the world. It differs from a regular chocolate cake by its darker color and tends to be more moist and airy (but it’s never around here long enough to notice that…)

• “Endangered Species Day” an opportunity for everyone to learn about the importance of protecting endangered species, their habitats and the actions necessary to do so.

• “May Ray Day”, a day for getting outside, soaking up the sun’s rays, and celebrating the warmer weather. May is the last full month of spring, when it is starting to warm up pretty nicely, but it’s not yet so scorching hot that you can’t stand being outside.

• “World IBD Awareness Day”,  a way to bring together those affected by Crohn’s and Colitis, as well as friends and family members of those individuals, and even those who knew nothing about either disease in order to increase awareness of them.

• “National Hepatitis Testing Day”,  a day to encourage testing for hepatitis B virus (HBV) and hepatitis C virus (HCV). Over four million Americans are living with HBV or HCV and about two million don’t know they are infected.

[Wed] Flower Day
[Wed] World Bee Day
[Thurs] American Red Cross Founder’s Day
[Thurs] Hummus Day

2012 [08] A day after his company goes public, Facebook founder & CEO Mark Zuckerberg weds longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan at his home in Palo Alto CA

2013 [07] Donald Trump declares country singer Trace Adkins winner of “The Celebrity Apprentice” on NBC-TV

2018 [02] American actress Meghan Markle marries Prince Harry at a ceremony in Windsor Castle.  Queen Elizabeth II grants them the titles of Duke and Duchess of Sussex

1992 [28] Billy Ray Cyrus releases his debut album “Some Gave All”, featuring his signature song ‘Achy Breaky Heart’” The single’s music video spawns a line-dancing trend across the US

2013 [07] A 1966 VOX guitar played by both John Lennon and George Harrison of The Beatles sells to an unidentified buyer who bids $408,000 at a NYC auction

2005 [15] “Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith” opens at 12:01 am, then grosses $50 million in a single day, a new box office record


✓ There are more than 500 words for “macaroni” in Italian.
✓ The worst nightclubs were traditionally located in basements – hence the name “dives”.
✓ Salt is the only rock humans can eat.
✓ Like gentlemen, mosquitos prefer blondes.
✓ The dolphins that live in the Amazon River are pink.
✓ Other names considered for the Seven Dwarfs: Snoopy, Dippy, Blabby, Woeful and Flabby.

Best of BS . . .
• Your mechanic wants to “show you something”.
• You skip makeup for the day and everyone asks if you’re sick.
• She doesn’t text back.
• Your UBER driver has had more to drink than you have.
• Your phone rings at 3AM.
• Your teenager starts the conversation by telling you what a great Mom you are.
• Your doctor tells you to say, “Ahhh”…then gasps.
• You’re invited to someone’s house for dinner and there’s no hand soap in the bathroom.
• The kids are suddenly very quiet…
• Your wife asks, “Notice anything different?”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

• How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
• How can the weather be ‘HOT as hell’ one day but ‘COLD as hell’ another?
• Why is the Lone Ranger called ‘Lone’ if he always has his friend Tonto with him?
• How does a real estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
• Can a cemetery raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• When medicine commercials say ‘Tell your doctor if you have any medical
problems’? They’re the doctor, shouldn’t they be telling you?

➠ Record-breaking crowds showed up at McDonald’s restaurants in France as they opened their drive-thrus for the first time since the lock-down. (By the way, if you’ve ever been to a McDonald’s in France, you’re really missing the point of visiting France!)
➠ A man was confronted by a female homeowner in Michigan after he broke into her home and demanded her underwear. (He was arrested after the brief altercation…)
➠ Black bears invaded a cabin in Indiana and made off with Reese’s peanut butter cups, beer and allergy medicine. (Or, as I like to call it:  Coronavirus Lockdown Essentials.)
➠ Police in India say they are looking for a criminal who is breaking into homes and making people’s beds. (The penalty for such a crime?  The electric blanket.)
➠ Two versions of a medical marijuana amendment will appear on the ballot in Mississippi in November, and both have to do with taxation. (Pot smokers vow to fight this with all their energy. Okay, they’re done. You can tax it any way you want…)

Dog walk:

Complete this sentence: “Life’s too short to …” (Hold a grudge? Fold fitted sheets? Date cheap men? Skip whipped cream?  Finish anyth …?

When a woman starts a sentence with: “I just find it funny how…”, there’s a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny.

Question:  90% of people say they dislike the taste of THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Envelopes

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.


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