May 16 2022

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Monday, May 16, 2022 — Edition: #7231

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!


The Bull Sheet will not be publishing on Monday, May 23 to observe the Canadian Victoria Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 24.

★ Britney Spears has shared that she and fiancé Sam Asghari have lost their “miracle baby,” weeks after announcing she was expecting her third child. Spears took to Instagram on Saturday, writing in a joint note with Asghari that she experienced the loss “early in the pregnancy. The post continued: “This is a devastating time for any parent. Perhaps we should have waited to announce it until we were further along, however we were overly excited to share the good news.” The couple shared that their love for each other is their “strength” during this challenging time. Asghari commented on the post: “We will have a miracle soon.”
-Yahoo, Billboard
★ Gwen Stefani announced via TikTok on Friday that she’s coming back to “The Voice.” She captioned the clip, which featured her and fellow coaches John Legend and Blake Shelton singing along to ‘Grace Kelly” by Mika’, “#Duet this if you’re going to be a Coach on #TheVoice this fall.” Stefani’s last stint as a coach was during season 19 in 2020. She and Shelton met on the show and married in July 2021. The fourth coach for Season 22, which will debut this fall, has yet to be announced. LINK:
★ Alex Trebek’s name and legacy live on through a new homeless shelter, the Trebek Center, serving the Los Angeles area. The facility opened in the area of the former Northridge roller rink Skateland, on May 12. His widow, Jean Trebek, was there for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. The shelter contains 107 beds and will provide help for people to find permanent housing. The Trebek Center also includes the Trebek library. The beloved “Jeopardy!” host died in November 2020 after a battle with pancreatic cancer.
★ Chris Rock wasn’t kidding when he said he won’t talk about “The Slap” until he gets paid. During a show at Royal Albert Hall in London on Thursday, Rock immediately addressed the elephant in the room – sort of. First, he remarked: “I’m OK, if anybody was wondering. I got most of my hearing back.” But anyone expecting Rock to go further than that will apparently have to wait for a comedy special. Quote: “People expect me to talk about the (crap), I’m not going to talk about it right now, I’ll get to it eventually, on Netflix.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Dana Carvey, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Shakira, Michelle Dockery, T. Murph
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC, CTV): Miley Cyrus, Jenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey
•  “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ciara, Jenna Dewan, Steven Rogers
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Alana Haim, Este Haim, Danielle Haim
• “The View” (ABC, CTV): Billy Crystal
• “The Talk” (CBS): Nicole Scherzinger, guest co-host Ali Wentworth
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hugh Dancy, guest co-host Bethenny Frankel
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kate McKinnon
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Cameron Diaz, Ann Wilson, Ryan Eggold
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Jennifer Aniston, RuPaul Charles, Billie Eilish
• “Better Call Saul” (AMC): Kim and Jimmy enlist a knowledgeable contact; Howard scrutinizes Jimmy’s business practices.
• “BBQ Brawl” (FOOD): After a big team shake-up, the pitmasters could use a day of team-building with their new captains Bobby Flay, Anne Burrell and Jet Tila.
• “PGA Tour Golf” (CBSSN): AT&T Byron Nelson, Final Round from McKinney TX. A winner is crowned.

• Kendrick Lamar — has announced a world tour to accompany the arrival of his long-awaited new album “Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers”, which dropped on Friday. The North American leg of “Big Steppers Tour” will begin July 19 in Oklahoma City and wrap with 2 shows in Los Angeles, Sept. 14 and 15. A European run will follow in the fall, with dates in Australia and New Zealand scheduled for December.
• Drake – had an unlucky Friday the 13th. On Instagram, he wrote that it was the “Hottest day of the year and we can’t even enjoy the backyard because we’re being…bullied by these two right here.” The video showed the yard of his luxurious Toronto home with two Canadian geese planted right in the middle. LINK:
• Journey — A remixed version of their 1983 hit ‘Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)’ will appear on the soundtrack to Netflix’s “Stranger Things” Season 4, and is available to hear now. The first volume of the supernatural horror series’ new season will premiere May 27, and the accompanying soundtrack will come out the same day. LINK:
• Soft Cell – will perform their debut album ‘Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret’ in full on their first North American tour in 20 years. This month, the synth-pop duo dropped the first new album in 2 decades, “*Happiness Not Included”. The tour includes stops in 6 North American cities, beginning Aug. 23.
• Spinal Tap – Their iconic mockumentary is getting a sequel. Original stars/writers Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer will reprise their roles as members of the fictional band. Director Rob Reiner, who will be back in front of the camera as documentarian ‘Marty DiBergi’, says the plan is to release it on March, 19, 2024, in time for the 40th anniversary of the first film.
• Brett Eldredge — will hit the road this summer on the “Songs About You Tour”. His latest single and album share the same name. The 24-date trek will kick off on June 19 in Wheaton IL, zig-zagging across the US before wrapping up in Saginaw MI on Sept. 24. Tickets go on sale this Friday.
• Tyler Hubbard – The Florida Georgia Line co-lead singer will release his first single as a solo artist ‘5 Foot 9’ this Friday. Hubbard’s partner in FGL, Brian Kelley, released an album last year, and there have been rumors about whether the duo will be an ongoing entity or call it quits.
• Mickey Gilley — will be honored with a celebration of life on May 27 at his Mickey Gilley Grand Shanghai Theatre in Branson MO. A live stream will also be available. In summer, there will be a public memorial in Pasadena TX, and a private ceremony in Ferriday LA. There will also be a public tribute to Gilley in Nashville this summer. He died at age 86 on May 7.


I’m sure that I’m not the only person who ever said that my kids are making me “lose my mind”. Well, it turns out science is backing me up. Rearing 3 or more children may spur the onset of cognitive decline, or dementia, later in life, according to the new study from Columbia University’s Aging Center. The scientists found that having 3 or more kids vs. 2 children has a “negative effect on late-life cognition” — the equivalent of being 6.2 years older. The study found additional children incur considerably more financial costs for their parents, thus reducing the family’s income and standard of living, which in turn causes worries and uncertainties that could contribute to cognitive deterioration. Having additional children also curbs women’s participation in the workforce. And professional work improves cognitive functioning among men and women, the study said. On the positive side, having more kids reduces the risk of social isolation for their parents, a situation that can protect against cognitive decline.
(Except the entire extent of your social life for 15 years consists of talking with other parents at soccer games, hockey games, dance recitals, parades, school plays, outside the principal’s office…)
(You’ll notice this story wasn’t reported on the news – because IT’S NOT NEWS to anyone who has 3 or more kids!)

➠ A retired Indian couple is suing their son and daughter-in-law, demanding that they produce a grandchild within a year or pay them 50 million rupees (US $675,000). Sanjeev Prasad said it was an emotional and sensitive issue for him and his wife, Sadhana, and they cannot wait any longer. Prasad said that he and his wife spent his life’s earnings on his son’s education to become a pilot, and arranged for him to get married 6 years ago, but his son and daughter-in-law) “have an attitude that they don’t think about us.” (Uh, let’s just sit down and consider who else might be only thinking of themselves…)
➠ A 19-year-old Florida woman who fled from police in the Florida Keys on Thursday told the deputy who caught up to her that getting arrested was on her “bucket list.” The cop spotted the woman’s vehicle driving recklessly just before 8 a.m. He turned on his lights and siren but the car did not immediately stop. Before she was taken to jail, the woman said getting arrested had been on her bucket list since high school. She was charged with fleeing and eluding police. (I didn’t need to mention this happened in Florida, did I?)

➢ Here’s a combination of words I never thought I’d see grouped together: ‘carbon-negative hotel’. But that’s exactly the situation in Denver, where the Populus Hotel, inspired by the aspen tree that the state of Colorado loves, is looking to become the first-of-its-kind in America that removes more carbon than it uses. At the almost-finished building, there’s no parking, removing the need for digging and building an underground lot, and encouraging guests to use public transit. The low-carbon outside design of the hotel was inspired by aspen bark, and a super insulating material was used to greatly reduce energy consumption. The roof is lined with solar panels, and for every ton of CO2 produced from energy use, the hotel will buy “carbon offsets” — trees planted by a third party that will absorb CO2 throughout their lifetime. (The only thing “green” about most hotels I’ve stayed at is the carpet!)
➢ The world’s most famous nonuplets have just turned one! Nonuplets? That’s 9 babies. NINE. BABIES. The 5 girls and 4 boys were born last year to Halima Cissé and Abdelkader Arby of Mali, West Africa. The couple were flown to Morocco so Cissé could receive specialized medical care ahead of the birth, and it took a team of more than 30 doctors and paramedics to deliver the babies safely. The nonuplets made history as the most babies delivered in a single birth to survive. All of them were less than 2.5 pounds (1.3kg) when born prematurely, but the miracle siblings are all healthy and thriving under continued medical care. Their proud papa says raising a literal baseball lineup (plus a 3-year-old sister!) isn’t easy, but it’s worth it to see “all the babies in perfect health”. (Spoken like someone who definitely has other people on diaper duty!)
-GoodNewsNetwork, CNN

(These things should at least HELP you handle mornings better, according to experts…)
☞ Expose yourself to light:  Thanks to your circadian rhythm, having bright light early in the morning helps you to wake up. Also, remember that exposure to light in the evening may affect sleep. (This includes scrolling Twitter!)
☞ Be mindful of your sleeping pattern:  If you’re falling asleep in less than 10 minutes, you’re probably sleep-deprived. To see if you require more or less sleep: set an alarm for the time you need to be awake and try to go through the day without any stimulants. (People can do that?)
☞ Start your day with water and protein:  Water will help wake your brain, creating neurotransmitters and hormones. And instead drinking coffee for energy, keep in mind that scientifically, that’s what food is for. Choose protein like eggs and avocado. (So, NOT Pop Tarts?)
☞ Move:  Taking a walk or doing some stretches at the start of your day can improve mental clarity and increase blood flow. It is especially good for those who spend much of their day hunched over in front of a computer screen.
(Wow – I skipped all that stuff, and became a morning person simply by waiting for the morning guy before me to get fired!)

Scientists have managed to adapt a computer to run on – algae. Engineers from the University of Cambridge ran a microprocessor for more than 6 months using just the current generated by a common species of cyanobacteria. Some internet-connected devices in parts of the world, such as washing machines, coffee makers, vehicles, and remote environmental sensors, operate far from a power grid, and in places where inserting a fresh battery or fixing a power source are impractical. Creating a ‘living’ power source that converts material in the environment makes for a greener, simpler power cell that won’t weaken as the sun sets, as with solar power.


• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?
• “Love a Tree Day”, a great day for tree-huggers everywhere. Trees are a good thing. They give us shade, comfort and shelter. They give off oxygen, too.
• “Mimosa Day”, celebrating the cocktail traditionally made with equal parts chilled orange juice and champagne and served in a champagne flute. It was originally created in 1925 at the Ritz Hotel in Paris.
• “Piercing Day”, a ‘Hole-y Holiday’ celebrating the practice of puncturing or cutting a part of the human body to create an opening in which jewelry can be worn. (You need another piercing like you need another hole in your head!)
• “International Day of Light”, the anniversary of the first successful operation of the laser in 1960 by physicist/engineer Theodore Maiman. The day celebrates the role light plays in science, culture and art, education, and sustainable development. This year’s theme: “Trust science”. LINK:
• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first ‘intergalactic holiday’, as declared by a group called ‘The Moderns’, whose goal is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.
• “Sea Monkey Day”, celebrating the amazing pet that comes alive when placed in water. ‘Sea-Monkeys’ is the brand name for brine shrimp sold in hatching kits as novelty aquarium pets in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom since 1960.

[Tues] Pack Rat Day
[Tues] International Day Against Homophobia Biphobia and Transphobia
[Wed] National Visit Your Relatives Day
[Thurs] Brown Bag it Thursday
This Week Is…EMS (Emergency Medical Services) Week
This Month Is…Building Safety Month

1944 [78] Danny Trejo, Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Machete”, “Grindhouse”)

1953 [66] Pierce Brosnan, Drogheda Ireland, movie actor (‘James Bond’ in “Die Another Day”, “Mamma Mia!”,)/TV actor (“Remington Steele”) COMING UP…“Black Adam”, 2022

1955 [67] Debra Winger, Cleveland Heights OH, movie actress (“An Officer and a Gentleman”, “Terms of Endearment”)/TV actress (“The Ranch” 2016-20)

1965 [57] Krist Novoselic, Compton CA, rock bassist (Nirvana-‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’)

1966 [56] Janet Jackson, Gary IN, pop singer (‘Rhythm Nation’, ‘Control’)

1969 [53] Tucker Carlson, San Francisco CA, TV host-commentator (“Tucker Carlson Tonight” since 2016)

1969 [53] David Boreanaz, Buffalo NY, TV actor (“SEAL Team” since 2017, “Bones” 2005-2017, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-2003)

1973 [49] Tori Spelling, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-2000, “Tori & Dean: Inn Love” 2008-2010, “BH90210″, 2019)/married to Dean McDermott since 2005

1986 [36] Megan Fox, Rockwood TN, movie actress (“Jennifer’s Body”, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movies, “Transformers” films)/TV actress (“New Girl” 2016-17) COMING UP…“The Expendables 4”, 2022

1986 [36] “Top Gun”, directed by Tony Scott and starring Tom Cruise, premieres (the sequel, “Top Gun: Maverick”, opens May 27)

2005 [17] Sony’s PlayStation 3 makes its debut

2019 [03] After 12 seasons, the final episode of “The Big Bang Theory”, starring Jim Parson, Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco, airs

1983 [39] Michael Jackson introduces the ‘Moonwalk’ when he busts out the move on the Motown 25th anniversary TV special

2019 [03] “Rocketman” a biopic based on the life of Elton John starring Taron Egerton, premieres at the Cannes Film Festival

1866 [156] Hires Root Beer is created by pharmacist Charles Elmer Hires

1966 [56] ‘Spaghetti-Os’, gooey pink pasta circles in a can, are first marketed

1991 [31] 14 Stanford University students begin leapfrogging and don’t stop for 10 days and 996.2 miles


✓ The computer mouse was initially named the computer “turtle”.
✓ To ensure viewers became fully immersed in the show’s fantasy world, “Game of Thrones” producers enlisted a linguist to create 9 languages for the series, including Dothraki and High Valyrian.
✓ Humans can’t sneeze while sleeping.
✓ There are 177,147 different ways to tie a necktie.
✓ 99% of Finns take a sauna at least once a week.
✓ The word “school” comes from the ancient Greek for “free time.”
-WhattheFFacts, CTech

Best of BS . . .
• A McDonald’s application
• New carpet for the basement
• A lifetime subscription to ‘World Of Warcraft’
• A box of ramen noodles
• A timer counting down to your first student loan payment
• An itemized bill of all of your life and school expenses up to this point
• A baby
• Anything that isn’t money or a job
• An eviction notice
• Thoughts and prayers
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

This month is “International Drum Month”, a good excuse to make fun of the least-respected of all musicians with a few of our fave drummer jokes — which we ‘beat to death’ every year…
➢ How can you tell when a drummer’s at the door? [The knocking speeds up. Then he doesn’t know when to come in.]
➢ How can you tell when the stage riser is level? [The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.]
➢ What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? [Homeless.]
➢ What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band? [“Hey guys, why don’t we try one of my songs?”]
➢ What’s the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer? [A podiatrist bucks up your feet…]
➢ And the all-time classic: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? [A drummer.]

• Which is the all-time best selling movie soundtrack?
a) “Dirty Dancing”
b) “The Bodyguard” [CORRECT]
c) “Titanic”
d) “Freddy vs. Jason”

• Which band was named after a scientist from the movie “Barbarella”?
a) Duran Duran (CORRECT]
b) Tears for Fears
c) A-Ha
d) Steely Dan

• Which group took its name from an actual band member?
a) Led Zeppelin
b) Jethro Tull
c) The Alan Parsons Project [CORRECT]
d) Def Leppard

Me: Daddy’s very tired. Could you kids please keep it down for a while so I can grab a nap?
My kids (sound up):

Well, to be Frank with you, I’d have to change my name.

What is the boldest (or strangest) thing you’ve done out of impulse?

Question:  In a survey, this food was found to be the one that people are LEAST likely to say they hate. What is it?
Answer: French fries

When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.


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