May 17 2019

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Friday, May 17, 2019 Edition: #6454

The BS Press!

“The Bull Sheet” will not be publishing on Monday, May 20 to observe the Canadian ‘Victoria Day’ holiday.  All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day.  The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 21.

★ Heidi Klum is among a host of stars to have partnered with Disney to release limited-edition Mickey and Minnie Mouse ears. Klum has unveiled her sparkly design, which will go on sale in September. The capsule collection will launch on May 24 with a patriotic design from US retailer Harveys, and every month a new design from the likes of Karlie Kloss, Vera Wang, Betsey Johnson, Coach, The Blonds, Cupcakes and Cashmere, Alex and Ani, Loungefly and “Star Wars” actress Ashley Eckstein, will be put on sale.
★ Prince Jackson and his brother, Blanket have launched a new venture. The late Michael Jackson’s 22-year-old son took to Instagram on Wednesday to announce that he and his younger brother, along with cousin Taj Jackson, have created a YouTube show where they will review movies. Their first video is a review of “Avengers: Endgame”, and features special guest James Sutherland. Blanket, however, is credited as “Bigi” Jackson in the video’s description.
(Because there is anyone who hasn’t seen “Endgame” yet?)
★ Taylor Swift is answering all of Ellen DeGeneres’ burning questions. On “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” Wednesday, she was asked a series of questions, including about the most rebellious thing she did as a teenager. Her answer: “Probably when I like put Joe Jonas on blast on your show.” Swift went on, saying “That was too much, I was 18…We laugh about it now, but…yeah, some teenage stuff there.”
★ Heather Locklear is back in rehab for the second time since her November 2018 hospitalization, according to multiple reports. Locklear was placed on a 5150 psychiatric hold in early November after EMTs arrived to her home following some type of episode. In January, it was reported that she had broken up with her boyfriend Chris Heisser, but they’re known for being on-again-off-again and at last check, they were “on.” It is being reported that the couple had a fight that led to her latest rehab stint.
-ET, RadarOnline

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Ryan Seacrest, Celeste Barber, Slipknot
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Gabrielle Union, DJ Khaled
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Olivia Wilde, Scott Pelley
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Adam Sandler, Rep. Will Hurd, Valerie Franco (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ben Schwartz, Tim Roth, Leon Bridges (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Amy Klobuchar
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dennis Quaid, Josh Hopkins, DeMarco Morgan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Gabrielle Union, Charles Melton, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Hadestown”
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Keanu Reeves, OneRepublic
• “Meghan and Harry Plus One” (CBS): Marking the one-year anniversary of the marriage of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, along with the birth of their first baby.
• “Sunday Morning News Special: No Exit” (CBS): An exploration of America’s love-hate relationship with its highways and byways, and how millions cope with their increasingly difficult daily commute.
• “The Blacklist” (NBC): Season 6 finale
• “Hawaii Five-0” (CBS): Season 9 finale

• “Cake Boss” (DISCOVERY FAMILY): Season 14 premiere
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Season 44 finale, hosted by Paul Rudd with musical guest DJ Khaled.

• “Game of Thrones” (HBO): Series finale
• “American Idol” (ABC): Season 17 finale
• “Charmed” (CW): Season 1 finale
• “NCIS: Los Angeles” (CBS): Season 10 finale

• Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber – Their single ‘I Don’t Care’ may debut at No. 2 on next week’s Billboard Hot 100. Lil Nas X’s ‘Old Town Road’, featuring Billy Ray Cyrus, is expected to score a seventh week at No. 1.
• Kanye West — loves the animated comedy “Rick and Morty,” and the feeling’s mutual. Creator Dan Harmon took it a step further, and has offered West his own episode.  He told an interviewer that Kanye is welcome to “Come hang out, and we’ll write an episode together.”
• Britney Spears – Her longtime manager Larry Rudolph says she may never perform again. She’s scheduled to undergo psychological evaluation after postponing her Las Vegas residency in the wake of her father’s recent illness.
• Spice Girls – Airbnb is offering six fans the chance to spend the night of June 14th aboard the Union Jack-adorned vehicle that was featured in the 1997 film “Spice World”. How much? Just $127USD. The bus has been given an interior makeover by a team of designers and will be located at Wembley Park.
• Sting — received a special honor at the BMI Pop Awards on Tuesday that has only been presented a handful of times. His hit with The Police, ‘Every Breath You Take’ is officially the most performed song in BMI’s catalogue, surpassing The Righteous Brothers’ ‘You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling’, which held the honor for the past 22 years.
• The Who — Singer Roger Daltrey called out some fans for smoking weed at a concert in New York on Monday. Part way through the set, Daltrey said to the audience: “All the ones smoking grass down in the front there, I’m totally allergic to it.” That was followed by a colorful description of what Daltrey feels the smoke does to his voice, and a threat to prematurely end the show.
• Tom Petty – His two daughters are suing his widow Dana for allegedly mismanaging his businesses. They believe she has cost the company over $5 million. Petty Unlimited was set up to manage Petty’s affairs after his death, but Adria and Annakim claim Dana has set up a competing company, Tom Petty Legacy LLC., which has interfered with their work and gone against their father’s wishes.
• Carrie Underwood and Luke Bryan — are set to perform at the 2019 CMT Awards next month. Also among the performers: Dan + Shay, Kane Brown, Kelsea Ballerini, Thomas Rhett and this season’s winner of “The Voice”. The CMTs will air live on Wednesday, June 5.
• Lauren Alaina — has a new boyfriend. She has been dating comedian John Crist since February. Alaina says they first met after she slid into his DMs on Instagram, but it was awkward because he didn’t really know who she was.

• “John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  Super-assassin John Wick is on the run after killing a member of the international assassin’s guild, and with a $14 million price tag on his head, he is the target of hit men and women everywhere. (Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry)
• “A Dog’s Journey” (PG, Drama/Kids):  In the sequel to the heartwarming “A Dog’s Purpose”, beloved dog Bailey finds his new destiny and forms an unbreakable bond that will lead him and the people he loves to places they never imagined. (Josh Gad, Dennis Quaid)
• “The Sun Is Also a Star” (PG-13, Drama/Romance):  A college-bound romantic and Jamaica-born pragmatist meet–and fall for each other–over one magical day amidst the fervor and flurry of New York City. (Yara Shahidi, Charles Melton)
• “Trial by Fire” (R-Rated, Drama):  The tragic and controversial story of Cameron Todd Willingham, who was executed in Texas for killing his three children after scientific evidence and expert testimony that bolstered his claims of innocence were suppressed. (Laura Dern, Jack O’Connell)

Remember when eyebrow-braiding was a thing?  No?  Well, it tried to become a thing, but it never quite panned out.  Here’s the next supposed-to-be big thing: Nose-hair extensions. Yup. Apparently, some people on Twitter and Instagram have taken to decorating their nostrils with…yes…fake eyelashes, giving the impression of a coif of nose hail growing from the periphery of each nostril. Why?  No idea.  But we think we know who. As far as anyone can tell, the idea started with Instagram user @gret_chen_chen, who posted the first known pic of someone styin’ fake eyelashes on their nose.  The caption simply reads: “Nose hair extensions”. Her hashtags tell us that she re-purposed eyelash extensions. And we thank her for that.
(It looks like she accidentally inhaled a couple of spiders!)
In case you can’t quite picture it: LINK

➢ A Chinese university has decided to liven up its annual sports day by hosting a grenade-tossing event. the North University of China thought it might be fun to introduce a “500-gram grenade toss” to its track and field event this month. One teacher told a reporter that the school had noted the earlier reluctance of students to take part in annual javelin and discus contests, but since the school decided to replace these contests with the grenade toss, there has been a surge of interest. Students will be throwing weighted replicas of a German World War Two stick grenade. The university says that the event is not a publicity stunt, but a way to commemorate the school’s history.
(And this is where the smart people hang out?)
➢ A South African man has reportedly been arrested after eating free KFC for a year, claiming that he was a head office employee. Workers at the restaurant said that the man would enter with confidence and tell staff he was there for quality assurance checks. The man carried an ID card and reportedly was well-dressed and even arrived in a limousine.  He was known to check the kitchen, take notes and ask for samples of whatever he wanted. An enviable caper…until he was caught. He now has a date in court. KFC has denied the whole thing as “fake news”.
(Doing that is definitely on my bucket list…)
➢ In a desperate attempt to get a break from his nagging in-laws, a man allegedly took advantage of his mother-in-law’s severe fear of spiders by getting a tarantula as a pet. In a post that went viral on Reddit, the man said that his in-laws had really been getting on his nerves with their unannounced visits and blatant breaches of privacy, but his wife ignored his concerns. So, when he noticed his mother-in-law’s reaction to simply seeing a spider sitting in the corner of the house, he got the idea to use her arachnophobia to keep her away. He reports that his tactic worked like a charm. His wife’s father still drops by, but her mother can’t stand to be in the same house as the pet spider.
(To keep dad away, just start leaving restaurant bills laying around!)


1956 [63] Bob Saget, Philadelphia PA, TV actor (“Full House” 1987-1995, “America’s Funniest Home Videos” 1989-1997)

1961 [58] Enya, Gweedore Ireland, world music singer (‘Only Time’, ‘Orinoco Flow’)

1962 [57] Craig Ferguson, Glasgow, Scotland, stand-up comedian/TV host (“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” 2005-14)/TV actor (“Drew Carey Show” 1996-2004)

1965 [54] Trent Reznor, Mercer PA, rock singer (Nine Inch Nails-‘Every Day is Exactly the Same’)/film score composer (“The Social Network”, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”)

1969 [50] Alan Doyle, Petty Harbour, NL, singer (‘So Let’s Go’, Great Big Sea-‘Ordinary Day’, ‘Consequence Free’)

1970 [49] Jordan Knight, Worcester MA, boy-band pop singer (New Kids On the Block-‘Hangin’ Tough’)

1973 [46] Josh Homme, Joshua Tree CA, rock musician-songwriter (Queens Of the Stone Age-‘No One Knows’)

1985 [34] Derek Hough, Salt Lake City UT, professional dancer (6-time champ on “Dancing With the Stars” 2007-2016)

Baseball player Reggie Jackson is 73; George Strait (‘All My Ex’s Live in Texas’) is 67; Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) is 49; Luisana Lopilato (model, married to singer Michael Bublé) is 32

Pete Townshend (The Who) is 74; Dusty Hill (ZZ Top) is 70; Phil Rudd (AC/DC) is 65; Sam Smith (‘Stay with Me’) is 27

• “NASCAR Day”, a celebration of NASCAR drivers, celebrities, corporate partners, media and millions of fans coming together to raise funds for charitable causes

• “Pack Rat Day”, celebrating people who squirrel away all kinds of ‘stuff’. What’s the oddest thing you have that you refuse to throw away? (But I might need those old soup cans someday!)

• “World Hypertension Day”, an annual observance to highlight the fact that stroke, heart, and kidney diseases caused by high blood pressure are preventable.

• “World Telecommunications Day”, a UN observance since 1969.

• “Cherry Cobbler Day”, dedicated to the delicious tart dessert that many enjoy with ice cream.

• “Walnut Day”, to show recognition and promote awareness of the walnut.
Some Walnut Wack Facts:
➠ Walnuts are the oldest known tree food — they date back to 10,000 BC!
➠ 99% of the commercial U.S. supply and 3/4 of the world trade of walnuts now come from California.
➠ Walnuts have always been considered important for their medicinal properties, including curing bad breath, reducing inflammation, and healing wounds.
➠ More recently, the nutritional benefits of walnuts have become well-known, especially their omega-3 fatty acid content.
➠ The Greeks called walnuts karyon, meaning “head,” because the shell resembles a human skull and the walnut kernel itself looks like a brain!

• “HIV Vaccine Awareness Day”, promoting the continued urgent need for a vaccine to prevent HIV infection and AIDS.
• “No Dirty Dishes Day”, if nothing else, it’s a convenient excuse to eat 3 meals in a restaurant.
• “Visit Your Relatives Day”, a day to renew relationships with seldom-seen relatives. Uh, maybe there’s a reason they are seldom seen?
• “International Museum Day”, established in 1977 by the International Council of Museums to draw attention to the world’s museums, no matter how large, small, or strange. Here are a few truly odd ones …
– Air Sickness Bag Virtual Museum NET:
– Amsterdam Tattoo Museum (Amsterdam, Netherlands)
– Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum (San Antonio TX)
– Bata Shoe Museum (Toronto ON)
– Burnt Food Museum (Arlington MA) NET:
– Canadian Canoe Museum (Peterborough ON)
– Exotic World Exotic Dancing Museum (Helendale CA)
– The Hair Museum (Independence MO)
– International UFO Museum & Research Center (Roswell NM)
– LeRoy House & Jell-O Gallery (LeRoy NY)
– Museum of Bad Art (Boston MA)
– The Museum of Dirt (Boston MA)
– National Museum of Funeral History (Houston TX)
– Riceworld (Los Banos, Philippines)
– Squished Penny Museum (Washington DC)
– Insectarium de Montréal (Montréal QC)
– Ukrainian Museum of Canada (Saskatoon SK)
– Vodka Museum (Moscow, Russia) with over 50,000 bottles on display. Visitors are offered 10 different types to taste.

• “Boys & Girls Club Day”, saluting the efforts of those who create and maintain facilities for safe recreational activities for young people that help teach values and citizenship.
• “Devil’s Food Cake Day”, enjoyed by chocolate cake lovers around the world, it differs from a regular chocolate cake by its darker color and tendency to be more moist and airy.
• “Stepmothers Day”, celebrated on the Sunday after Mothers Day to highlight the differing bonds between biological parents, stepparents, and children.

• “Victoria Day”, commemorating the birth of Queen Victoria (May 24, 1819), Britain’s longest-reigning monarch (1837-1901). Celebration of her birthday in Canada began in 1845. “Victoria Day” originated in 1901 after her death. Since 1952, it has been celebrated on the Monday preceding May 25th.

2011 [08] The final episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” is recorded in Chicago IL, with many celebrities attending (None of them were awarded a car!)

2012 [07] Donna Summer dies of lung cancer at her home in Naples, Florida, at age 63

2015 [04] Taylor Swift receives 8 awards at the Billboard Music Awards; Pharrell Williams, Meghan Trainor, One Direction, and Sam Smith are also multiple winners

1964 [55] First Tim Horton’s coffee and donut shop opens in Hamilton, Ontario, then co-owned by NHL player Tim Horton (now 4,846 restaurants in 14 countries)

2004 [15] Massachusetts becomes the 1st US state to legalize same-sex marriage (today is celebrated as “Same Sex Marriage Day” in America)

2009 [10] Gonzales (former Feist collaborator) breaks Guinness World Record for ‘Longest Public Solo Performance’ by performing 300 consecutive songs over more than 27 straight hours in Paris, France

2011 [08] The oldest panda in the world, Ming Ming, dies at the age of 34 in Guangdong, China


✓ People who frown in photos are 5 times more likely to get a divorce than those who smile.
✓ The invention of Glow sticks was based on the work of scientist Edwin Chandross. He didn’t know his work was being used for parties until 2013.
✓ A study found that female-named hurricanes kill more people than male hurricanes because people don’t respect them.
✓ Before he made it big in Hollywood, Johnny Depp was a telemarketer.
✓ A cow produces between 40 and 150 liters (10-45 gallons) of saliva per day.
✓ Lobsters listen with their legs.
-WhattheFFacts, AnimalsAustralia

• Deal or No Plea Deal
• Who Wants to be a Millennial
• 64,000 Questions
• The $100,000 Pyramid Scheme
• Win Ben Stein’s Personality
• Canadian Mennonite Warrior
• Whose Smell is That, Anyway?
• Bowling for Bowling Balls
• The Newlydivorced Game
• Press Your Duck

Best of BS . . .
• The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
• You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several Canada geese.
• You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with car.
• A potato baked in the coals for 1 hour makes an excellent meal. A potato baked in the coals for 3 hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
• You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on north side of your compass.
• Sleeping under the stars may involve trespassing on Rachel McAdams’s property.
• A lot of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
• In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle snoring tent-mate.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2000

What’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened to you that no one believes when you tell them?

The weekend is here!  Sleep until you’re hungry, then eat until you’re sleepy.

Question: If you add THIS to your diet, you’ll burn more calories.  What is it?
Answer:  Hot sauce

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.


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