Tuesday, May 9, 2023 — Edition: #7470
You Really Know Your Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ We now know Ray Liotta’s official cause of death. Heart and respiratory system issues caused the 67-year-old’s sudden death last year, according to medical documents. The iconic actor’s passing was categorized as natural and nonviolent, citing respiratory insufficiency, pulmonary edema and acute heart failure. Liotta reportedly also suffered from atherosclerosis, a thickening of the arteries caused by a buildup of plaque in the inner lining of an artery. At the time of his death, Liotta was in Dominican Republic filming the movie “Dangerous Waters”, and died in his sleep.
★ The stage is set for the release of one of the most anticipated movies of 2023, — Christopher Nolan’s biographical film “Oppenheimer”. Based on the life of physicist J Robert Oppenheimer, credited with inventing the atomic bomb, the 3-minute trailer was released yesterday, and fans can’t believe how many big names are aboard. Set to a dramatic score, the teaser offers a close look at the key players of the Manhattan Project, featuring a star-studded cast including Cillian Murphy, Florence Pugh, Emily Blunt, Robert Downey Jr., Matt Damon, Leslie Groves Jr. and Tom Conti, as a somber looking Albert Einstein. Others confirmed to appear in the film include: Rami Malek, Kenneth Branagh, Jack Quaid, Matthew Modine, Josh Peck, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, James D’Arcy, and several others. Oppenheimer opens July 21. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ms77a2sv
★ Judd Apatow thinks the studios and streamers already have an idea of when the writers strike may end. Speaking at a benefit in Malibu, the writer-director said: “I think they probably already know what they’re going to bend on.” He also said that he feels “they already know what date this is going to end. They’ve probably been planning this for years.” Apatow explained that he sees the strike as a calculated business move by Hollywood’s largest employers, and “they could have figured it out already. When these things conclude, you never go, ‘I understand why it took that long.’”
★ Christina Applegate says she’s “probably not going to work on-camera again”, but she will voice ‘Kelly Bundy’ in the upcoming “Married With Children” animated series. Applegate, who wrapped up her Netflix series “Dead to Me’ amid her battle with MS, said she “can’t even imagine going to set right now. This is a progressive disease.” But she said if the cartoon version of Married With Children” moves forward, she’s there for it.
★ Michael J. Fox has revealed that he “can’t even remember dating” The Bangles singer Susanna Hoffs back in the 80s. 61-year-old Fox made the revelation while promoting his new Apple TV+ documentary “Still” which focuses on his life and battle with Parkinson’s disease. He said: “When I look at that period in the [documentary] it just seems crazy. Look at all the girls I dated. Some of them I can’t even remember…Stuff like that happened all the time.” The “Teen Wolf” star and Hoffs briefly dated in 1986.
★ Brad Pitt is getting into the cockpit for an upcoming Formula One film. The movie, about a racer putting his retirement plans on pause for a younger driver, will have “Top Gun: Maverick” director Joseph Kosinski and producer Jerry Bruckheimer at the helm. The team working on the movie has apparently “spent 18 months taking what they learnt on Top Gun Maverick to develop the smallest moveable 6k camera ever designed to take the viewer into the cockpit” in an attempt at making the most accurate racing film ever made.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Pierce Brosnan, Abby Ryder Fortson, New West (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Claire Danes, Roman Reigns, Cathy Ladman (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Vice President Kamala Harris, Carrie Coon (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Hugh Laurie, Rachel Bloom, LP (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Bridget Everett, Danielle Cabral
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Amy Klobuchar
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Andy Cohen, Ken Jennings
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Maks & Val Chmerkovskiy
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Ben & Erin Napier, Brandon Marshall, Chasten Buttigieg
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Holly Robinson Peete
• “Judge Steve Harvey” (ABC): Season 2 premiere
• “Night Court” (NBC): Season 1 finale
• “Lopez vs. Lopez” (NBC): Season 1 finale
• “Accused” (FOX): Season 1 finale
• “Dancing Queens” (BRAVO): Series premiere. As a new season of Latin Pro-Am competition begins, 5 women who dance as a hobby prepare for the first competition of the year.
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Carolina @ New Jersey; Dallas @ Seattle
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bad Bunny – went from headlining Coachella to a WWE victory, defeating Damian Priest on Sat. in a featured event in both wrestlers’ native Puerto Rico. Bunny made his grand entrance to his 2017 hit ‘Chambea’.
• The Weeknd – is the latest A-lister trying to buy the Ottawa Senators NHL team. The Ottawa Sun says that in addition to previously-announced bids from consortiums led by Ryan Reynolds and Snoop Dogg, The Weekend has linked up with a group led by Canadian billionaires the Kimel brothers to make a play for the team.
• Miley Cyrus – Last week, her hit song ‘Flowers’ became the fastest song to reach 1 billion streams in Spotify history. The streamer announced that it took the tune 112 days to hit the milestone. In Jan, Flowers set the record for most-streamed song in a single week…twice.
• Jeff Healey – The trailer for “See the Light”, a documentary covering the life and career of the late Canadian guitar legend, has been released. No word on when the doc drops. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3r2z6c3y
• Guns N’ Roses — bassist Duff McKagan’s guilty pleasure is Kylie Minogue. When asked by Classic Rock magazine the album that no one would believe he owns, he named Minogue’s greatest hits LP “Ultimate Kylie”. McKagan said that he has listened to a lot of pop music thanks to his 2 daughters, and admitted to being a fan of Kylie’s “real good rubbish” music.
• Sheryl Crow – says she has written an immersive “one-woman show”, which she hopes to put into production next year. It would take place at a fixed location, and “The storyline is not specific to, like, documentary style. It is specific to emotional experiences that everybody has experienced, one way or another, and taking everybody on a very scenic journey.” (But what is it?)
• Dierks Bentley and Miranda Lambert — are teaming up for the first time in years, this time for a series of duets that will be featured on the CBS drama, “Fire Country”. Lambert posted a video teaser of a song titled ‘Saved’, writing: “Tune into the show for the next two weeks on @cbs to hear em.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5n6r6jnh
• Shy Carter — enlisted Caitlyn Smith for the duet ‘How Did You Sleep’. ” The breakup tune finds both coming to terms with their exes’ decisions to move on. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/bdeahvrk
• Tim McGraw – “1883”, the “Yellowstone” prequel in which he stars with wife Faith Hill, is coming Paramount Network for a special broadcast on June 18. All 10 episodes will air, plus “extended featurettes at the end of each”.
SHOOTING THE BULL
EYE IN THE SKY:
The world’s first artificial intelligence speed camera has just been launched in UK, and already, people are calling it “a step too far”. The controversial “creepy cam” has highly-advanced technology, making it able to watch what drivers are doing while inside their own vehicles. That’s right, motorists can now be caught via camera for a number of infractions, including not wearing a seatbelt, using mobile phones, or if there are too many people inside the vehicle. The new AI unit uses super high-spec ‘4D’ radar and super-resolution cameras to peer through vehicles windows, as well as perform the traditional traffic cam duties of detecting speeding or red-light offenses. What’s more, the Redspeed Sentio camera goes a step further by linking to police and government databases to check on a driver’s license and insurance status. Critics have slammed the 24-hour smart cams for invading drivers’ privacy, calling them “Big Brother’s cash machine”.
(I can’t wait ‘til this thing tries to send a ticket to a driverless vehicle!)
(If it catches you with too many people in the vehicle, at least you have a bunch of friends to split the cost of the ticket with…!)
A new study on dating app dealbreakers reports that 1 in 5 women will outright reject a man who mentions that he’s a vegan on his dating profile. The study was conducted by Alexander, a behavioral and cognitive neuroscience graduate student, who is known as @Datepsych on Twitter. He collected info on digital dating dealbreakers from his 18,500 Twitter followers, and here are some of his findings…
• 8% of men reject women with tattoos.
• 10% of women reject men who pose with a fish they caught (even though these “bass-anovas” have been mocked online).
• “Hat-fishing,” or men who wear hats in all their photos, presumably to hide a bald head, is rejected by only 5% of women.
• Surprisingly, just 17% of women will reject a shirtless man.
• 45% of men reject single moms, while only about a quarter of women would reject a single dad.
• 53% of men reject women who feel the need to present a laundry list of things they don’t want in a mate — without being able to articulate what they do want.
• 62% of women will flat-out reject a man’s profile that seems negative.
• A guy’s poor grammar in his profile is a dealbreaker for 22% of women.
• 20% of women aren’t interested in a guy who posts a pic of himself with a bunch of other women.
• 20% of women will flat-out reject male profiles with filtered pics.
• Excessive makeup is a dealbreaker for 16% of men.
(…which of course, means that for 84% of guys, a woman with excessive makeup is A-OK!)
‘STEP’ ON IT:
We’ve all been told that walking is the best exercise. It’s easy, convenient, requires minimal equipment, and has tremendous health benefits. With that in mind, many people aim to take the magical number of 10,000 steps each day. But here’s something else to keep in mind: According to research from the University of Sydney, pace is just as important as those 10,000 steps a day, as far as your health is concerned. 78,500 adults with wearable fitness trackers were monitored, and scientist found that while achieving 10,000 steps was linked to a lower risk of dementia and heart disease, a faster walking pace showed even more benefits. They concluded: “The take-home message here is that for protective health benefits, people could not only ideally aim for 10,000 steps a day, but also aim to walk faster.”
(In other words, hope for rain!)
(But just for the record, walking at a woefully-slothful pace is still good for you, right? Asking for a friend…)
COMMON WORDS THAT CLASSY PEOPLE AVOID:
Words have huge social and reputational power. Here are some to avoid if you want to be seen as a classier person. BTW, you’re not going to agree with all of these…
✗ The “f” word: There. I said it. Without saying it. It betrays a notable lack of self-discipline and self-control. (But that would imply that I’m trying NOT to say it…)
✗ “Huh?”: It makes you sound like proof that humanity hasn’t evolved much past the days of the cavemen. (Hmmm…)
✗ “What?”: Slightly higher up on the scale, but still distinctly not classy. Try “Pardon?”
✗“Ghetto”: Yup. It makes you sound ghetto.
✗“Booze”: Try using better words, such as drinks, wine, spirits, beer, beverages, cocktails, or refreshments. (I’ll have some of those, too…)
✗ “Legit”: This is another of those “youth culture” words that just sounds…really silly. (Legit silly?)
✗ “Epic”: Please stop. Unless you’re talking about a period of history or an epic poem, leave it out of your verbal palette.
✗ “Sick”: If someone is legit (sorry…) sick, then fine. But use of the word to describe something as being remarkable or impressive makes you sound like a 12-year-old skateboarder. (No offense if you are…)
✗“Dude”: Apparently you only have the right to use this word if you grew up in certain areas of Australia or California. Otherwise, instead of asking “Dude, where’s my car?”, Try asking “Dude, where’s my classiness?”
✗“Snack”: It has crept into the lexicon as a way of describing a man who is highly attractive. Just remember to avoid all “snacking”.
✗“Extra”: …when used to describe something bizarre or incredible or embarrassing. Using this term is very extra. And by that, we mean embarrassing…
(Wow. Looking at this list is just like reading a print-out of our show!)
DID YOU KNOW?
Hypnotizing people before surgery is becoming more and more common around the world, according to a report in New Scientist. And some patients can fall so deeply “under” that they are able to undergo major operations without any anesthetic – and feel no pain. Some doctors say that they are also using the technique more widely alongside drugs, and reporting that hypnosis helps relieve patients’ anxiety during procedures where people remain awake, such as biopsies, and this can cut the amount of medication required.
BS CHRONOMETER 05.09.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Lost Sock Memorial Day”, a day to remember those singular hose that went into the washing machine or dryer, never to return. (Play ‘Taps’ for them?)
• “Moscato Day”, raise your glass and toast National Moscato Day. Moscato, or Muscat in Italian, is one of the oldest known varieties of grapes.
• “Butterscotch Brownie Day” also known as Blondies or Brookie (brownie + cookie). Blonde brownies were actually created before chocolate brownies.
• “Tear the Tags Off the Mattress Day”, definitely not an event for the timid. But if you crave excitement and enjoy living on the edge, gird up your loins and ‘fresh courage take’! Forego those posted warnings from the government — and rip off those tags! And if you’re really gutsy, do the pillows too.
• Hurray for Buttons Day”, Button collecting, which is most popular in the United States, varies from people keeping buttons in a container for future use, to casual collecting, to competitive collecting. (Competitive collecting??)
• “National Teacher Day”,
BS SIGNS YOU’RE A TEACHER:
☞ You can’t have children because there’s not a name you can think of that doesn’t give you high blood pressure.
☞ You believe ‘Shallow Gene Pool’ should have its own little check box on report cards.
☞ Your voice is permanently set on high volume.
☞ You’ve corrected a total stranger’s grammatical errors.
☞ Any sustained loud noise causes you to impulsively flick the light switch on and off.
• “Childhood Depression Awareness Day”, first designated by the National Mental Health Association in 1997. Also known as “Green Ribbon Day”, we’re encouraged to wear one to create awareness.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Clean Up Your Room Day
[Wed] National Shrimp Day
[Thurs] Twilight Zone Day
[Fri] Limerick Day
This Week is…Public Service Recognition Week
This Month is…Deck Safety Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946  Candice Bergen, Beverly Hills CA, TV actress (5 Emmys, 2 Golden Globes for “Murphy Brown” 1988-98, 2018), “Boston Legal” 2005-08)/movie actress (“Miss Congeniality”)
1949  Billy Joel, Bronx NY, pop/rock singer (‘Piano Man’, ‘My Life’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 1999
1961  John Corbett, Wheeling WV, movie actor (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding” films)/TV actor (“Northern Exposure” 1990-95, “Sex and the City” 2000-03) COMING UP… “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3”, 2023
1962  David Gahan, Essex England, electronic pop singer (Depeche Mode-‘Just Can’t Get Enough’, ‘Personal Jesus’)
1965  Steve Yzerman, Cranbrook BC, retired NHL player (3 Stanley Cups w/Detroit Red Wings, Olympic Gold 2002, Canada Cup 1984, Hockey Hall of Fame 2009)/Executive VP GM of the Red Wings since 2019
1979  Pierre Bouvier, Montréal QC, rock singer (Simple Plan -‘Shut Up!’, ‘Welcome to My Life’)
1979  Rosario Dawson, NYC, movie actress (“Rent”, “Sin City”)/TV actress (“Go-Big Show” since 2021, “Daredevil” 2015-2016)
1985  Audrina Patridge, Los Angeles CA, reality star (“The Hills” 2006-11)
1996  Noah Centino, Miami FL, movie actor (“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” movies, “Black Adam”)/TV actor (“The Recruit” since 2022)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005  Kenny Chesney weds Renée Zellweger in St John, US Virgin Islands (the marriage is annulled after 4 months)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1996  The members of Rush are appointed Officers of the Order of Canada, the first band so honored
2014  Hunter Hayes breaks the record for most concerts performed in different cities in a single day, playing 10 shows in 10 cities in 24 hours to help raise awareness of child hunger
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1987  Baltimore Oriole Eddie Murray becomes the first player to hit switch-hit home runs in 2 consecutive games
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The word “dice” is now accepted as both the singular and plural.
✓ Mice sing like birds, but humans can’t hear them.
✓ Human noses and ears get bigger as we age.
✓ Dogs usually start sniffing with their right nostril, but shift to the left side for something pleasant, like food.
✓ A UK study found that the average adult sends more than twice as much time on the toilet than being physically active.
✓ The word “fizzle” dates back to the 1400s when it meant to “break wind quietly.”
Best of BS . . .
BS THINGS MOM REALLY WANTS FOR MOTHERS DAY ON SUNDAY:
Forget the flowers and greeting cards; here are a few things mom would actually appreciate …
✓ To eat an entire meal without any discussion of bodily functions at the table.
✓ At least 5 minutes in the bathroom without someone knocking on the door because they can’t find something.
✓ Instead of a candy bar and a magazine from the corner store, a cleaned house and a cooked dinner.
✓ A beautiful bouquet of tulips is fine, but, just for once, one that was NOT stolen from her garden.
✓ Last year’s belated Mothers Day gift … which seems to have never arrived.
✓ Hours of labor multiplied by years of service, expressed in dollars (rounded up).
-Adapted from BennyDesk, first published in BS in 2015
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
• How can the weather be ‘HOT as hell’ one day but ‘COLD as hell’ another?
• Why is the Lone Ranger called ‘Lone’ if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
• How does a real estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
• Can a cemetery raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• When medicine commercials say ‘Tell your doctor if you have any medical
problems’? They’re the doctor, shouldn’t they be telling you?
BS WEB GOODIE:
I’ll pass, thanks: https://tinyurl.com/yjsnrj6x
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The best part of starting a new job is that all 4 of your grandparents are alive again…
BS PHONE STARTER:
What perk did you enjoy as a kid because of your parent’s job?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Stats show we do THIS for lunch about 50 times a year. What is it?
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.