Wednesday, May 16, 2018 Edition: #6214
Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There’ll be no “BS” service for Monday May 21 to observe the Canadian Victoria Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 22.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Aziz Ansari is doing stand-up again. The actor and comedian performed multiple sets in NYC this past week — marking the first time he’s taken the stage since being hit with sexual misconduct allegations back in January. While he wasn’t advertised, the 35-year-old performed at “The Comedy Cellar” in Manhattan from Wednesday to Sunday including during the club’s Mother’s Day show, and did several other surprise sets. He reportedly covered a wide range of topics — including millennials, Starbucks and racism.
-PageSix
★ Kristine Rodas, the widow of the man who was driving the car in the crash that killed Paul Walker, has settled her lawsuit against Porsche after she claimed that faulty mechanics caused the fiery crash. Roger Rodas was behind the wheel of the Porsche Carrera GT when it skidded off the road and crashed into a tree on November 30, 2013. Kristine Rodas sued the car maker shortly after, but lost. She then filed an appeal, which was scheduled to be heard next month, but now the case has settled. Terms of the settlement were not available.
-TheBlast
★ Disney is doing a pretty good job of taking over the world. And their latest move is to take over the skies with their own fully-themed “Toy Story” aircraft. The venture between China Eastern Airlines and the Shanghai Disney Resort aims to connect people in Beijing with Shanghai while aboard an immersive Disney experience. From the Toy Story check in, to the themed headphones and even menus that revolve around your fave Toy Story characters, this is an all-in kinda flight. Airline employees even wear Mickey Mouse headgear!
(Thank God they didn’t make the Amelia Earhart movie!)
-Cosmopolitan
★ Margot Kidder — best known for playing Lois Lane alongside Christopher Reeve in the “Superman” films — passed away on Sunday. She was 69. Kidder was romantically linked to Canadian prime minister Pierre Trudeau, Brian De Palma, Steven Spielberg, and Richard Pryor. She was married and divorced three times and had one child, a daughter named Maggie. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and famously had a manic episode in 1996 and disappeared for four days before being found in an LA homeowner’s backyard. Kidder was born in Yellowknife, NWT, Canada, and became a U.S. citizen in 2005. In recent years she had become a very outspoken political activist. No word on a cause of death.
-TheBlast
★ “Gotham” will be getting one more season. The DC superhero series will finish after its fifth season, which will take the show past 100 episodes. Gotham follows the adventures of a young Bruce Wayne (played by David Mazouz) and Jim Gordon (Ben McKenzie) in crime-riddled Gotham City, before Wayne grows up to become Batman. The final season will focus on Bruce Wayne’s transformation into the caped crusader.
-DailyMail
★ Another TV show resurrection: Tim Allen’s “Last Man Standing,” which was canceled last year by ABC, is being brought back by Fox next season because it’s a “great comedy” and not as a conservative statement, Fox executives said Monday. What was that all about? Some fans may be drawn to the family sitcom because of Allen’s personal political views, but according to Fox Television Group executive Gary Newman, those views “aren’t really a big feature of the show. We just think it’s a really funny show.”
-Canoe
★”Stranger Things” star Millie Bobby Brown has helped raise $40,000 for the Olivia Hope Foundation by hosting a private lunch with fans who paid $5,000 per ticket. 14 year-old Millie began working with the foundation after she struck up a friendship with a Stranger Things fan named Olivia Lorusso, who battled cancer herself and kept in touch with Millie during her treatment. Olivia unfortunately lost her fight against the disease, and her family, along with Millie, continued the work of the Olivia Hope Foundation in the hopes of raising funds for targeted therapies for childhood cancer treatments.
-ContactMusic
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Diane Keaton, Jim Acosta, Beach House
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Will Ferrell & Molly Shannon, Chrissy Metz, Florence & the Machine
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Chadwick Boseman, Erik Bergstrom
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Josh Brolin, Ella Purnell, the Aces, Matt Byrne
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Diane Keaton, Andy Garcia, James Acaster
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Joel McHale, Anna Paquin, Alex Edelman ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Keith Hernandez, Sonja Morgan
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Donald Rumsfeld
• “The Talk” (CBS): Andy Garcia, guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Candice Bergen, Nikki & Brie Bella, A Great Big World
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Portia de Rossi, James Bay
• “Riverdale” (The CW): Season finale
• “The Blacklist” (NBC)” Season finale
• “The Goldbergs” (ABC): Season finale
• “Modern Family” (ABC): Season finale
• “Designated Survivor” (ABC): Season finale
• “NBA Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Golden State vs. Houston
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Winnipeg vs. Las Vegas
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake – will appear on a song with Paul Anka (!!), out next month. Anka made the announcement while accepting the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Canadian Music and Broadcast Industry Awards in Toronto last week.
• Drake – is going on tour. He’ll be joined by ‘Walk It Talk It’ collaborators Migos for a 41-date tour starting July 26 in Salt Lake City.
• Pink – admits she is a ”total crier”. Quote: “I cry at commercials. I cry when the wind’s changing directions”.
• Rita Ora – has issued an apology to anyone who may have been offended by her new song ‘Girls’, which references bisexuality, and was described by some as ”tone-deaf”. The song, which also features Cardi B, Bebe Rexha and Charli XCX, was met with criticism, including from fellow singer Hayley Kiyoko who claimed some of the lyrics seem to exploit the idea of being bisexual.
• Lynyrd Skynyrd – the boyhood home of Ronnie and Johnny Van Zant (and of .38 Special singer Donnie Van Zant) has been officially designated a historic site in Jacksonville FL. A local entrepreneur bought the house and plans to restore it into a ‘1970s time capsule’ and make it available as a short-term rental for fans of the bands.
• Guns N’ Roses – have returned to the US rock charts for the first time in almost a decade with their new single, ‘Shadow Of Your Love’. The song, recorded in 1986, debuted at #31 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock Chart. It is one of dozens of unreleased tracks that will be featured on the June 29 release of a series of expanded reissues of the band’s 1987 debut album, “Appetite For Destruction.”
• Pearl Jam – bassist Jeff Ament says the band has lots of new songs, but won’t have a chance to begin recording a new album until after their upcoming tour. An album in 2019 is “probably safe to say”.
• Dierks Bentley – has announced a showcase of his new album at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville on June 7. He’ll play all the new songs live, in anticipation of the release of ‘The Mountain’ on June 8.
• Brett Young – is leaving all of the wedding planning to his fiancé. He’ll marry Taylor Mill in November, and says he’s been amazed by how much time goes into wedding planning and realizes now that it’s practically a full-time job.
MAKING IT RAIN AT THE WEDDING:
If you have plans to attend a wedding this summer, you’ll once again be faced with the age old question: How much money to give the happy couple as a wedding gift? It’s a common source of anxiety among wedding-goers, and it’s a question that comes with some risk. You don’t want to seem cheap, but at the same time, if you have several weddings to attend, or if you are incurring other expenses associated with the wedding, like a travel, accommodation, a ‘Stag & Doe’ party, or purchasing clothing as a member of the wedding party, things can really add up. Tracey Manailescu, the vice-president of the Wedding Planners Institute of Canada, advises guests to add a bit extra to what the wedding venue charges per plate, which she says can sometimes be found by searching online. If a typical plate is $150, then your gift should be around $175. Of course, if you’re very close to the couple, you’d want to increase that to the $250 range. If they have opted for a wedding registry, you’d apply that amount to a gift.
(How about I save us both money…I’ll pay them 75 bucks and stay home!)
(We have a great system. If the wedding is on my side of the family, we cheap out. If it’s on HERS, the sky’s the limit!)
(Isn’t my mere presence present enough?)
-CP
FACING THE FUTURE:
For reasons only known for sure by Mark Zuckerberg, although it’s probably because he doesn’t quite control everything in the world yet, some sources are reporting that Facebook is planning to launch its own cryptocurrency. At this point, there isn’t too much detail, but the company is said to be specifically focused on using cryptocurrency for facilitating payments on the platform, something that could be pretty huge, given Facebook’s enormous user base and the existing ‘marketplace’ section of the site for buying and selling goods. Last week, it was announced that David Marcus will be leading the cryptocurrency efforts, “to explore how to best leverage Blockchain (technology) across Facebook, starting from scratch.”
(I’m quite comfortable with the concept of virtual money. After all, I’m virtually broke all the time!)
(Blockchain technology? Did you hear that? It was the sound of technology passing me by!)
(After the Facebook privacy scandal, should Zuckerberg just start writing his ‘financial info data leak’ apology now?)
-TheVerge
SINGLE SPACE – THE FINAL FRONTIER:
You may have been taught in school that when typing out a paragraph, it is proper to place two spaces after a period. Or you may have learned on a computer rather than a typewriter and have never heard of such a monstrosity. And if that’s the case, the American Psychological Association (APA) style book agrees with you. That resource recently changed its tune, making the single-space following a period acceptable. Well, researchers at Skidmore College—clearly triggered by the change in the APA style book—sought to prove the benefits of two spaces after a period at the end of a sentence. In an eye-tracking experiment involving 60 Skidmore students, the researchers evaluated the reading speed for groups of individuals assigned to read paragraphs written with either single or double-spaces after periods. The “one-spacers” were, as a group, slower readers across the board, by about 10 words per minute.
(Imagine how fast we could read with THREE spaces!)
(No one said that science is exciting!)
(And these certainly aren’t the first college students on record to get spaced after every period!)
-ARSTechnica
WAYS YOU MIGHT BE DOING YOUR LAUNDRY WRONG:
➢ Washing clothes after every use: Unless you sweat a lot or smell terrible, you’re better off saving energy and water by repeating outfits. Bonus: your clothes won’t wear out as quickly.
(Plus there’s always that awkward day when ALL your clothes are in the wash…)
➢ Overloading your machine: Your clothes don’t come out as clean, and you’re increasing your chances of creasing. No one wants creasing. (Hey, I got the door closed, it MUST be OK…)
➢ Too much detergent: Using too much detergent can actually leave your clothes dirtier. Experts recommend ¼ of a cap per load. (Darn. Now if I’m doing a half-load, I have to do math!)
➢ Fabric softener: You shouldn’t use fabric softeners with towels, or overdo fabric softener in general. Tip: use white vinegar instead. (If you want to smell like a fry-cook!)
➢ Jeans are special: Some people don’t wash their jeans very often to avoid fading. If you do wash them, turn them inside out, wash cold, and hang to dry. (So we intentionally buy pre-washed and faded jeans, then we avoid washing them, and try to keep them from fading? Sounds about right…)
➢ Not keeping zippers zipped, and buttons unbuttoned: Open zippers can destroy your clothes, and buttoned buttons will weaken the threads that hold them. (Plus it makes it hard to get your clothes off!)
➢ Letting your damp clothes sit: Wet clothes are building up bacteria as they sit in your machine. Not to mention, they smell. (Ain’t NO smell like THAT smell!)
(The biggest laundry mistake I ever made was doing it once. Then it became my job!)
-Curiosity
BS CHRONOMETER 05.16.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [74] Danny Trejo, Los Angeles VA, movie actor (“Machete”, “From Dusk Till Dawn”)
1953 [65] Pierce Brosnan, Drogheda, Ireland, movie actor (“Mamma Mia!”, “Die Another Day”)
1965 [53] Krist Novoselic, Compton CA, rock bassist (Nirvana-‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’)
1966 [52] Janet Jackson, Gary IN, pop singer (“Rhythm Nation”, “Control”)
1969 [49] David Boreanaz, Buffalo NY, TV actor (“SEAL Team” since 2017, “Bones” 2005-2017, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-2003)
1973 [45] Tori Spelling, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-2000, “Tori & Dean: Inn Love” 2008-2010)
1986 [32] Megan Fox, Rockwood TN, movie actress (“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movies, “Transformers” films)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?
• “Love a Tree Day”, a great day for tree-huggers everywhere. Trees are a good thing. They give us shade, comfort and warmth. They give off oxygen, too.
• “Mimosa Day”, celebrating the cocktail traditionally made with equal parts chilled orange juice and champagne and served in a champagne flute. It was originally created at the Ritz Hotel in Paris, France back in 1925.
• “Piercing Day”, a ‘Hole-y Holiday’ celebrating the practice of puncturing or cutting a part of the human body to create an opening in which jewelry can be worn. (You need another piercing like you need another hole in the head!)
• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first ‘intergalactic holiday’, as declared by a group called ‘The Moderns’, whose goal is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.
• “Sea Monkey Day”, celebrating the amazing pet that comes alive when placed in water. ‘Sea-Monkeys’ is the brand name for brine shrimp sold in hatching kits as novelty aquarium pets in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom since 1960.
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Hummus Day
[Thurs] Hypertension Day
[Fri] NASCAR Day
[Fri] Endangered Species Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [13] Sony’s PlayStation 3 makes it’s debut
2011 [07] After 23 years on-air and 1,151 fugitives caught, FOX-TV cancels “America’s Most Wanted”
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1983 [35] Michael Jackson introduces the ‘Moonwalk’ when he busts out the move on the Motown 25th anniversary TV special.
2013 [05] Brit pop singer George Michael is airlifted from an accident scene after tumbling out the passenger door of a moving vehicle onto the 3rd northbound lane of the M1 highway
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1866 [152] Hires Root Beer is created by pharmacist Charles Elmer Hires
1966 [52] ‘Spaghetti-Os’, gooey pink pasta circles in a can, are first marketed
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1991 [27] 14 Stanford University students begin leapfrogging and don’t stop for 10 days and 999.2 miles to set a new Guinness World Record
2013 [05] The oldest water ever found is discovered in a Canadian mine in Timmins ON; estimated to date back 2.6 billion years (How could they tell? The best-before date?)
2014 [04] Archaeologists in Patagonia, Argentina unearth a set of bones that appear to belong to the largest dinosaur yet discovered, thought to have weighed 77 tonnes (85 tons) and to have stood around 20 meters (66 ft) tall
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ A study found that having a cat in the house is the emotional equivalent of having a romantic partner.
✓ Cupcakes can be as addictive as cocaine.
✓ Some schools in the UK are removing analogue clocks because students can’t read them.
✓ Tears you cry when you’re upset actually contain a hormone that’s a natural painkiller.
✓ Your heartbeat changes and mimics the music you listen to.
✓ The man who invented pop-up ads has apologized to the world for creating one of the most hated forms of advertising.
-WhattheFFacts
BS GRADUATION GIFT FAILS:
• A McDonald’s application
• New carpet for the basement
• A lifetime subscription to ‘World Of Warcraft’
• A box of ramen noodles
• A timer counting down to your first student loan payment
• An itemized bill of all of your life and school expenses up to this point
• A baby
• Anything that isn’t money or a job
• An eviction notice
• Thoughts and prayers.
-Twitter
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most pathetic example of political correctness that you’ve ever encountered?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 30% of us say our significant other will not do this. What?
Answer: Apologize for anything
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Working at home sucks, if you’re a firefighter.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than of Sally.
