Thursday, May 21, 2020 Edition: #6702
You Really Know Your Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Now you can show your love of “Tiger King” while protecting yourself from the coronavirus. Carole Baskin, one of the stars of the Netflix series, is selling face masks through her Big Cat Rescue. Written on the masks is the phrase: “Hey all you cool cats and kittens,” against a background of black or leopard print. The phrase is the one the animal rights activist uses to introduce her videos to supporters, as shown so many times in the show that Tom Hanks repeated it to open the very first episode of “Saturday Night Live at Home.” The masks, available on tread365.com, cost $11 each. A portion of the proceeds will go to support big cats and first responders.
-Yahoo, CNN
★ A new documentary series on the late Princess Diana could ”open new wounds” for Prince William and Prince Harry according to a royal expert. The four-part series “Being Me: Diana” is reportedly due to hit Netflix and will look at the late royal’s battle with mental health, primarily her battle with bulimia, and her tumultuous marriage to Prince Charles. According to royal writer Leslie Carroll, the upcoming series could be an extremely painful watch for Diana and Charles’ sons, who were just 15 and 12 respectively when the late princess died in a car crash in Paris in 1997, at age 36.
-ContactMusic
★ Director James Cameron and his wife Suzy are stepping up to the plate to take care of their daughter’s 16-year-old friend. They filed a petition to become the guardians of the girl, whose parents “began experiencing health challenges and financial hardships approximately one and a half years ago, rendering them increasingly unable to care” for their daughter, according to Cameron. He and his wife have provided the minor with a stable home environment and “cared for her as one of their own children”, and say the girl’s parents and grandparents are on board with the petition for guardianship.
-TheBlast
★ Adam Sandler is to star in the Netflix basketball film “Hustle”, which is being produced by NBA icon Lebron James. The movie focuses on a basketball scout played by Sandler, who discovers a talented player abroad and brings him to the US to prove he can make it in the NBA after previously being fired. The coronavirus crisis means it is not yet known when production will begin.
-ContactMusic
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kevin Hart
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sofia Vergara, Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon, Courtney Barnett
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Steve Carell, Milky Chance & Jack Johnson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Janelle Monáe, Patton Oswalt
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rob Gronkowski, Venus Williams, HAIM
• “Conan” (TBS): Stephen Colbert (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ramona Singer, Pamela Anderson
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Yvette Nicole Brown
• “The Talk” (CBS): Clark Gregg, Glennon Doyle
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Debra Messing, Monica Mangin, “American Idol” Encore
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Phil Donahue, Marlo Thomas
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): A new Message From Montana, repeat segments with Ian Somerhalder, Wilson Phillips, Pentatonix (R)
• “Holey Moley” (ABC): Season 2 premiere. A contestant tries her hardest to literally jump the shark; fan-favorite windmill wipeouts; two zip-line mishaps.
• “Celebrity Escape Room” (NBC): Jack Black hosts, leading Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Adam Scott and Ben Stiller through a laugh-filled escape room adventure
• “The Red Nose Day Special” (NBC): Big-name stars, comedians and chart-topping musical acts come together to offer hope, inspire unity, create awareness and raise funds for kids around the world affected by COVID-19 through special performances and joyful entertainment.
• “Labor of Love” (FOX): Series premiere. Kristy is matched with 15 sexy, sophisticated and like-minded men who are ready to let their paternal sides shine.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish – Her home has been blurred on Google Street View after “stalkers” showed up at the property. She lives in a modest bungalow in Los Angeles, and was recently granted a restraining order against a man who allegedly turned up at her home seven times. A message on the site reads: “This map’s location has been removed for privacy concerns.”
• Beyoncé – She and Janelle Monáe have been added to YouTube’s virtual “Dear Class of 2020” commencement address. They will join President Obama and Michelle Obama in delivering an “inspirational message to the 2020 class.” The live event will be streamed on YouTube June 6.
• Ed Sheeran – has donated $289,000 to his former school. He attended Thomas Mills School in Framlingham, Suffolk, U.K., and gave the money over a 2-year period through his Ed Sheeran Suffolk Music Foundation to help buy items such as MacBooks, cameras, and a photography darkroom.
• The Beatles — An unreleased demo tape of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr’s only jointly written duet sold for $9,900 at auction in the U.K. on Tuesday. ‘Angel in Disguise’ was recorded for Starr’s 1992 solo album “Time Takes Time” but did not make the cut.
• Dee Snider – His upcoming concert release will include a cover of AC/DC’s ‘Highway to Hell’ as well as the new studio song ‘Prove Me Wrong’. “For the Love of Metal Live” will be released July 31 as a Blu-ray/DVD/CD collection.
• Travis McCready – performed Fort Smith, Arkansas on Monday. The controversial “fan pod” concert was the first live music event with an audience in the U.S. since the coronavirus lockdown began. To ensure the audience at the TempleLive theatre remained within social-distancing requirements, seating was arranged into “fan pods” – groups of two to 13 seats with those around them cordoned off. Venue capacity was reduced from 1,100 to 229.
• Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani – have purchased a $13.2 million home in Encino, California. For now, they’re quarantining at Shelton’s ranch in Oklahoma, where, according to Shelton, “Gwen’s learned how to bake bread really good, sourdough bread.”
• Justin Moore – launched “The Justin Moore Podcast” this week. Why? “Our fans are always looking for more content and the chance to really get a look into who we are as human beings beyond the stage and the radio.” The 15-episode weekly series is co-hosted by his tour manager J.R., aka “The Handler.”
• Lady Antebellum — have canceled their entire 2020 “Ocean Tour” due to the coronavirus pandemic. No plans to reschedule have been announced. The news follows similar tour postponement notices from Chris Stapleton, Reba McEntire and Kenny Chesney.
DR. GOOGLE:
What’s the first thing you do when you’re not feeling well and aren’t sure exactly why? That’s right – you consult with “Dr. Google”. It turns out that Googling your symptoms isn’t the best idea at all. Researchers from Edith Cowan University in Australia say websites dishing out medical opinions rarely provide the correct diagnosis on the first try. The sites were also found to give people bad information about when and where to seek a doctor’s help. The study looked at 36 online symptom checkers, and found that the first result was the correct diagnosis just 36 percent of the time. The correct medical problem was found in the top three results in only 52 percent of the searches. And information about when to see a doctor was correct just 49 percent of the time. On the plus side, advice about when to seek medical attention for emergencies was much more accurate. The information in those cases was correct about 60 percent of the time.
(But you’ve gotta admit that sometimes when it’s an emergency, the symptoms are fairly obvious…)
(Yeah, but “Dr. Google” is the only doctor I can get an appointment with these days!
(I wouldn’t be so sure about all this. I looked up “hypochondriac”…and lo and behold…Google was right!)
-StudyFinds
ELON-LASTING:
Just when gasoline is affordable again comes this indication that we may all be driving electric vehicles in the future. According to a leaked memo, Tesla will soon announce a “million mile” battery that will bring down the cost of electric vehicles to about the same as gas engine cars, AND greatly improve the longevity of batteries. The new batteries will be used in the company’s Model 3 luxury sedan by early next year. Cobalt is the most expensive metal used in the production of electric car batteries, and these new ones rely on low-cobalt and cobalt-free technologies. Tesla CEO Elon Musk has been teasing that Tesla will be holding a “Battery Day” later this month, which may be when the company officially announces the new battery.
(“Million Mile Battery”? I can see Elon’s a whole lot better at naming batteries than he is at naming kids!)
(Now, just to be clear: Will batteries be included?)
(I didn’t know electric car batteries were so expensive. In fact, any time I’ve seen one, it’s been free of charge!)
-Futurism
THE FUNNIEST PARENTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA THIS WEEK:
⇒ My husband recently started winking at me after telling dad jokes like some creepy old man. I guess he’s going to start wearing socks with sandals next — @_goaskyourdad_
⇒ *Pouring nacho cheese over my bowl of cornflakes* No, I wouldn’t say I’ve let quarantine life change me. — @MaryJustice86
⇒ “Stop Screaming!” she screamed. – a Quarantine Memoir — @AnnaDoesn’tWant2
⇒ Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday. Does anybody know where I can find a stripper who will jump out of a cake but also clean my house and feed my children? — @jennymollen
⇒ Child, if you’re gonna insist on pulling back the shower curtain while I’m in there dancing to 90s hip-hop, that therapy bill is on you, not on me. — @RYGdance
-Today
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 68% of men have kept their baseball glove as a memento of their childhood.
• 66% of women say going to work without makeup would be more stressful than a job interview or a first date.
• 40% of females take a friend along when they’re getting a tattoo.
• 25% of men admit they have stolen lip balm from their partner.
• 20% of parents privately regret what they named their kids.
• 10% of women blow-dry their hair before jumping on the scale, to feel like they weigh less.
DID YOU KNOW?
Researchers say over the span of one’s life, the average adult will spend not months, not years, but decades gazing at their digital devices. A poll of 2,000 British adults found that the typical person will spend a staggering 34 years looking at phones, computers, or televisions.
-StudyFinds
BS CHRONOMETER 05.21.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [69] Al Franken, NYC, comedian-politician-media personality (“Saturday Night Live” writer-performer 1975-80, 1985-95/US Senator [Democratic, Minnesota] 2009-18)
1952 [68] Mr. T (Laurence Tureaud), Chicago IL, TV actor (“The A-Team” 1983-87)/movie actor “Rocky III”
1957 [63] Judge Reinhold, movie actor, Wilmington DE (“Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, “Beverly Hills Cop” movies)
1966 [54] Lisa Edelstein, TV actress, Boston MA (‘Dr. Lisa Cuddy’ on “House” 2004-11, “The Good Doctor” since 2018)
1980 [40] Gotye (Wouter De Backer), Bruges Belgium [raised Melbourne Australia], pop singer-songwriter (f/Kimbra-‘Somebody That I Used to Know’)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “World Day for Cultural Diversity”, a UN-sanctioned event to help communities understand the value of cultural diversity and learn how to live together in harmony.
• “Wait Staff Day”, set aside for restaurant managers and patrons to show appreciation for the efforts of servers. A few questions to consider …
– What percentage is the proper tip these days?
– Are there occasions when you don’t tip?
– Should restaurant owners get away with paying minimum wage and expecting customers to
supplement servers’ incomes?
– What other occupations deserve tips?
• “Rapture Party Day”, an excuse for an impromptu bash on the anniversary of late radio evangelist Harold Camping’s 2011 prediction that the world would end on this day.
• “Red Cross Founder’s Day” marks the anniversary of the American Red Cross, which was founded in 1881 by Clara Barton, the first president of the organization. Barton led the organization for the next twenty-three years.
• “Hummus Day”, no one can be offended by this dairy-free, gluten-free, nut-free, meat-free and drama-free food that goes with everything from carrots to pita bread to chicken to crackers. Puree your cares away through the joy only chickpeas, garbanzo beans and olive oil can bring.
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Canadian Immigrants Day
[Fri] Harvey Milk Day
[Sat] International Jazz Day
[Sat] Lucky Penny Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [21] “All My Children” star Susan Lucci finally wins a Daytime Emmy after being nominated 19 times, the longest period of unsuccessful nominations in television history
2012 [08] The final episode of “House” starring Hugh Laurie airs on FOX-TV, after 8 seasons and numerous awards
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2003 [17] Ruben Studdard beats Clay Aiken to win the second “American Idol” competition
2016 [04] Following the release of his album “Views”, Drake places a record 20 songs on the Hot 100, besting Justin Bieber’s mark of 17 set in December, 2015
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2014 [06] ‘National September 11 Museum’ in NYC opens to the public
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2005 [15] ‘Tallest Roller Coaster In the World’, Kingda Ka, opens at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey (456 feet or 139 meters, still a record)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Humans naturally feel happier when kept busy.
✓ People born in May have the lowest risk of illness and disease, while those born in October have the highest, according to a study.
✓ The most expensive material on the planet is antimatter, worth $62.5 trillion per gram.
✓ If you drilled a tunnel straight through Earth and jumped in, it would take you about 42 minutes to get from one side to the other.
✓ Your dog can get a sense of when you’re supposed to be home from work based on how much of your scent is left in the house.
✓ NASA invented the “Dust-Buster”.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, UberFacts
BS FAKE SOCIAL DISTANCING FACTS:
• Blocking someone on social media counts as social distancing.
• The six feet rule was developed by the same scientist who came up with the five second rule.
• Dogs and cats are required to stay 6 paws apart from each other.
• The CDC recommends eating garlic to ensure social distancing.
• As I just told my Mother-in-law, social distancing measures have been extended through 2025.
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
BS MATHEMATICAL QUOTES:
• “Money is the square root of all evil.”
• “An opinion without 3.141 is jut an onion.”
• “I got 99 math problems and they’re all due tomorrow.”
• “Silly rabbit – trig is for kids.”
• “What we have here is failure to multiplicate.”
• “Be there or b squared.”
• “All my X’s live on an axis.”
• “Here’s looking at Eu, clid.”
• “Neither a borrower nor a carrier be.”
• “It was the best of sines, it was the worst of sines.”
• “Houston, we have a math problem.”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Both “American Idol” and “The Voice” crowned their winners this week. (Now their wildest dreams will come true. If their wildest dream is to follow the tractor pull at a county fair, that is…)
➠ A Texas was man beaten and robbed after a date with a woman he met online went bad. (Giving my father even more ammo as to why social media, “Sucks!”)
➠ Mr. T turns 68 today. (He’ll spend the day the same way he always does: fool-pitying.)
➠ More women plan on doing the grilling this Memorial Day weekend. (Great! I’m all for it just as long as it doesn’t cause any conflicts with my kids fetching me a beer!)
➠ Tiger Woods was asked by a fan on Golf TV what he would tell his younger self. The five-time Masters winner responded, “Not to run so much.” Woods blames running for his bad knees and back problems. (That, and a pile of Waffle House Waitresses on top of him…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Work smarter, not harder: https://tinyurl.com/ydzxjkfb
BS RANDOM JOKE:
We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On-Anon-Anon.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What was the worst summer job that you ever had?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Sales of THESE rise by 50% in the Spring. What are they?
Answer: Prepackaged salads
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Only when life is difficult are we challenged to become our greatest selves.
