May 27, 2011

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Friday, May 27, 2011           Edition: #4515
More Sheet For Brains!

TMZ is reporting that 27-year-old Brit singer Cheryl Cole has been dropped as a judge on Simon Cowell’s upcoming FOX-TV version of “The X Factor” (even though auditions have already begun) and will be replaced by Nicole Scherzinger, previously hired to co-host the show (rumor has it her heavy accent was her doom) . . . “American Idol” winner Scotty McCreery tells “Parade Magazine” he & fellow finalist Lauren Alaina are NOT dating as rumored, just ‘really close friends’ (we’ll wait to hear a country song about it) . . . On the other hand, “Vampire Diaries” (CW) co-stars Ian Somerhalder (32) & Nina Dobrev (22) are totally dating, spotted taking in the sights this week in Paris (vampires get vacations?) . . . 43-year-old French first lady Carla Bruni, who has a role in the new Woody Allen movie “Midnight in Paris”, is expecting a baby boy with president Nicolas Sarkozy according to a loose-lipped friend (the little guy needs help with sagging popularity polls) . . . “Law & Order: SVU” actor Ice-T says he’s shocked by castmate Christopher Meloni’s decision to quit the show (Meloni has played ‘Detective Elliot Stabler’ since the show began 12 years ago) . . . And 30-year-old reality TV star Kim Kardashian is now engaged to her boyfriend of nearly 6 months, 26-year-old NJ Nets basketball player Kris Humphries, who sealed the deal with a  rock weighing 20.5 carats (wow, almost as big as her … assets).

• Bayou Country Superfest (Baton Rouge LA) – The 2nd annual country mega-concert at LSU’s Tiger Stadium is headlined by Sugarland, Tim McGraw, and Trace Adkins on Saturday; Billy Currington, Kenny Chesney, and the Zac Brown Band on Sunday.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Dolly Parton performs her new single, “Together You & I”, released this week.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight George Canyon (“Better Be Home Soon”); Karkwa (“Les Chemins de Verre”).
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Lady Gaga (“Born This Way”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Electric Barbarellas (“Strange World”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Tonight Morning Teleportation (“Expanding Anyway”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Plain White T’s (“Wonders Of the Younger”).
• “National Memorial Day Concert” (PBS) – Sunday Gary Sinise (“CSI: NY”) & Joe Mantegna (“Criminal Minds”) co-host the annual tribute to troops and veterans on Capitol Hill in Washington DC. Bluesman BB King and “American Idol” winner Kris Allen are among performers.
• Order of Canada (Ottawa ON) – Today Governor General David Johnston presides over a ceremony at Rideau Hall bestowing the honor to 29 members and 14 officers. Among them: former actor Michael J Fox for his Parkinson’s disease charity work, and Robbie Robertson for services to music.
• Sasquatch! Festival (George WA) – The 10th annual 4-day fest at the Gorge Amphitheatre features performances by Death Cab for Cutie, the Decemberists, Foo Fighters, Modest Mouse, Wilco and many more.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover II”); musical guest Jessie J (“Who You Are”). Rerun.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Rihanna (“Loud”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight INXS w/Pat Monahan (“Remasters Collection”).

• Adele – According to Nielsen SoundScan, her red-hot album “21” is #1 for a 5th straight week but faces some stiff competition from Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”, which is expected to cruise to the top of the charts in both the US and Canada next week.
• Black Eyed Peas – At this week’s Fragrance Foundation “FiFi Awards” Fergie was presented with the ‘New Celebrity Fragrance Of the Year’ award for her Outspoken perfume.
• KT Tunstall – The Scottish singer has revealed she’s had permanent hearing damage since attending a Spice Girls gig in 2008. That’s no joke … she developed tinnitus (a ringing in the ear) after sitting too close to huge speakers.
• Madonna – This week at a Museum of Modern Art party in NYC, she refused to let photographers take any pics of her because ‘she felt ugly’.
• Nicki Minaj – Seems she’s aspiring to achieve diva status, her people informing backstage riff-raff that they’re not allowed to make eye contact with her.
• Phish – Tonight they kick off a 2011 Summer tour playing 3 consecutive nights in Bethel NY. Tickets include an MP3 download of the entire show.
• Taylor Swift – Tonight the North American leg of her “2011 Speak Now World Tour” begins in Omaha, Nebraska.
• U2 – Sunday their “U2 360” tour hits Winnipeg, Manitoba with The Fray opening up.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Curse Of the Buxom Strumpet” – This satirical take on zombie films is set in 18th century England and stars legendary British actors Judi Dench and Ian Mckellen. The comedy deals with the inhabitants of a small seaside town called ‘Upper Trollop’ who are struck with a deadly illness that turns them into ‘walking dead’. Gillian Anderson (“The X-Files”) is also aboard.
• “The Hunger Games” – Rocker Lenny Kravitz is the latest to join the cast of the much-talked-about bigscreen adaptation of Suzanne Collins best-selling novel. He’ll play the kind-hearted ‘Cinna’. Jennifer Lawrence (“Winter’s Bone”) has the lead role of ‘Katniss Everdeen’, who’s selected to participate in a deadly televised event. The film’s due in theaters next March.
• “Oz: The Great & Powerful” – Michelle Williams has been offered the role of ‘Glinda’ the good witch in Disney’s prequel take on “The Wizard of Oz”. The story centers on James Franco as a snake oil salesman who finds himself dealing with real magic when his hot air balloon carries him into the fabled land. If it all comes together, it’s due to hit screens in 2013.
• “RIPD” – Oscar-winner Jeff Bridges has signed on for this upcoming supernatural comedy about a group of dead law enforcers trying to keep other dead people from a life of crime. Bridges will play a former gunslinger who’s been deceased hundreds of years, alongside Ryan Reynolds playing a murdered policeman. Filming begins this September in Boston MA.

Here are the most hated names for new babies, according to a new survey by Laura Wattenberg, author of “The Baby Name Wizard”. The most-hated names for boys all rhyme for no apparent reason:  ‘Aiden’, ‘Brayden’, ‘Jaydon’, and ‘Kaden’. The most hated girl’s name is ‘Nevaeh’, which is ‘Heaven’ spelled backwards. In 2nd place is ‘Destiny’, a name many people say they associate with exotic dancers. (Give your baby a name it can say … Gaga.)

• Texans who want to catch catfish using only their bare hands will soon be able to do so legally under legislation just approved by the State Senate. Currently, hand fishing, called ‘noodling’ in Texas, carries a $500-fine. The new law will still require ‘noodlers’ to have a fishing license and a freshwater fishing stamp. (People can actually catch fish barehanded? They shouldn’t be fined … they ought to get a trophy!)
– AP
• This a week a 200-lb black bear ran for its life, scaling a tree in a Kirkland, Washington back yard. Seems the big critter got the jitters when he was chased by … a teacup poodle named ‘Shmoopy’. It wasn’t the first time the bear wimped out. A neighbor claims that when it visited her yard, her dogs barked and the big bruin climbed her fence and fled. (You gotta feel super-safe when you’re protected by a vicious guard dog named Shmoopy.)
• After a marauding white tiger was spotted sitting near a golf course in Hampshire UK, cops and zoo keepers armed with tranquilizer rifles were quickly airlifted in. But as their helicopter prepared to land, the tiger suddenly keeled over from the force of the rotor wash. Turns out the ‘tiger’ was … a king-sized stuffed toy. (Good luck to the next person who really does see a beast on the prowl!)
– BBC News

At one point in 2009 in the African country of Zimbabwe, a hundred-trillion-dollar bill couldn’t buy a bus ticket in the capital of Harare. But now the value of Zimbabwe’s highest denomination note, the biggest ever produced for legal tender anywhere, is zooming. Not in Zimbabwe, where the currency has been abandoned, but on eBay. The notes are now a hot commodity among currency collectors and novelty buyers. Savvy dealers are paying $1-to-$2 per bill, then turning around and selling them online for $5-to-$6 apiece. (Some will make millions out of trillions … and be thrilled about it.)
– Condensed from “Wall Street Journal”

• It took a century for the world to get to 500 million passenger vehicles on the road. In the next 20 years that number is expected to double to 1 billion.
– JD Power & Associates
• Over a lifetime, the earnings of workers who majored in business, computer science, or engineering are up to 50% higher than the earnings of those who major in arts & humanities, education, and psychology, according to a new Georgetown University study.
– “Washington Post”
• The average worker in the USA got 18 vacation days last year … but only used 14 of them. And even when Americans do take time off, a whopping 72% say they check in with the office at least occasionally, if not every day.
– / Rasmussen Reports


1945 [66] Bruce Cockburn, Ottawa ON, folk/country/rock singer/songwriter (“Lovers In a Dangerous Time”, “Wondering Where the Lions Are”)

1966 [45] Sean Kinney, Renton WA, rock drummer (Alice in Chains-“Your Decision”, “No Excuses”)

1971 [40] Paul Bettany, London UK, movie actor (“Iron Man 2”, “The Da Vinci Code”)/married to actress Jennifer Connelly since 2003

1975 [36] André 3000 (Benjamin), Atlanta GA, hip-hop artist (OutKast-“Hey Ya!”, “The Way You Move”)/movie actor (“Semi-Pro”, “Hollywood Homicide”)

1975 [36] Jamie Oliver, Clavering UK, celebrity TV chef (“Jamie at Home”, “Jamie’s Kitchen”, “The Naked Chef”, etc)

1990 [21] Chris Colfer, Fresno CA, TV actor (‘Kurt Hummel‘ on “Glee” since 2009)

Oldies singer Gladys Knight  (“Midnight Train to Georgia”) is 67; Oldies singer John Fogerty (Credence Clearwater Revival) is 66; Country singer Phil Vassar (“Love Is a Beautiful Thing”) is 49; Pop singer Kylie Minogue (“Can’t Get You Out of My Head”) is 43; TV personality Elisabeth Hasselbeck (“The View”) is 34; Pop singer Colbie Caillat (“Bubbly”) is 26.

Movie actress Annette Bening (“The Kids Are All Right”) is 53; Movie actor Rupert Everett (“Shrek the Third”) is 52; Pop/rock singer Melissa Etheridge (“I’m the Only One”) is 50; Rock guitarist Noel Gallagher (ex-Oasis) is 44; Pop singer Melanie Brown (ex-Spice Girls) is 36.

• “Ancestor Honor Day”, a day to reflect on the contributions of those who’ve gone before us.
• “Sunscreen Day”, to create awareness of the importance of using protection against harmful UV rays from the Sun. Medical professionals advocate the use of sunscreen with a Skin Protection Factor (SPF) of 15 or more. You should slather on the goo even on overcast days as UV rays can penetrate clouds.

• “Amnesty International Day”, recognizing the need to protect human rights around-the-world. The organization strives to accomplish this by publicizing problems and encouraging citizens, governments, and politicians to take action.
• “Cabot Trail Relay Race”, a 24 Hour, 298-km (185-mile), 17-stage race around Cape Breton Island’s famous Cabot Trail, starting from Baddeck NS. It’s a killer to drive, let alone run!
• “International Jazz Day”, the 20th annual worldwide celebration of ‘America’s only indigenous art form’ (hey, what about country music?) and a salute to the musicians, past and present, who create and sustain it.
• “Sierra Club Day”, celebrating the 1892 founding of the oldest, largest, and most influential grassroots environmental organization. Chapters throughout the US and Canada offer opportunities for local involvement, activism, and outdoor outings for 1.3 million members.

• “Indianapolis 500”, the 100th anniversary of ‘The Greatest Spectacle in Racing’. Congressional Medal of Honor recipient, Colonel Bruce Crandall, is this year’s ‘Honorary Starter’; 4-time Indy winner AJ Foyt has replaced Donald Trump as ‘Official Pace Car’ driver; Canadian Alex Tagliani has the pole position for the race.
• “International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers”, observed on the anniversary of the first deployment of UN Peacekeeping Forces, in 1948 in the Middle East.

• “Memorial Day”, observed on the last Monday in May in America as a day of remembrance for those who’ve died in the nation’s service. It was originally called “Decoration Day” when General John Logan declared a day to decorate Civil War soldiers’ graves with flowers at Gettysburg PA in 1868. (Nowadays its more often observed as ‘Beach Day’ or ‘Picnic Day’.)

2006 [05] Movie stars Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt welcome their first biological child, a daughter named Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, while staying at a compound in Swakopmund, Namibia

1987 [24] U2’s sound system sets off earthquake alarms in 2 neighborhoods during a concert at Flaminio Stadium in Rome, Italy

1961 [50] 1st ‘black lights’ sold in novelty shops (the kind that make your white shirt glow)

1992 [19] ‘World’s Heaviest Chicken’ is a bird called ‘Big Snow’ at 23 lbs (Deuchar, Australia)

1994 [17] ‘Highest Temperature Ever Produced’ in a lab is 920 million degrees F (Princeton University)

[Mon] Memorial Day (USA)
[Mon] “Platinum Hit” debuts (Bravo)
[Tues] World No-Tobacco Day
[Tues] Macaroon Day
[Tues] Save Your Hearing Day
[Tues] Speak In Complete Sentences Day
This Week Is … International Pickle Week
This Month Is … Better Hearing & Speech Month


• “Who’s her favorite bass player?”
• “Why is your spleen like that?”
• “When does the next Frenchman go by here?”
• “Isn’t that the guy from Psychedelic Furs?”
• “What’s with the hedge trimmer?”
• “What do you know from black lung?”
• “Does this sound infected?”
– Thanks to JT Dobbs

You put your birthday cake in the fridge and now it’s all dried out. Which might help?
a. Microwave it alongside a potato for 20 minutes on a low setting.
b. Steam it by holding it high in the air while you take a shower.
c. Poke holes in it with a toothpick and pour water or juice into each. [CORRECT]
– “Tightwad Living Magazine”

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

What’s the one big way your family differs from your partner’s family?

Today’s Question: Just one bite from one of THESE will probably be fatal.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Hippopotamus.

You have to take the bad with the worst.

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