May 29 2023

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Monday, May 29, 2023 — Edition: #7483

Accept No Substitutes, Ask For 100% Pure BS!


★ Kelly Clarkson is opening up about why she’s relocating her talk show to New York City after 4 seasons in LA. She was interviewed by Nancy O’Dell for “TalkShopLive”, where she said the decision was “100%” her idea, and she told the staff about her decision in January. Clarkson pointed out that for personal reasons, she needed to be on the East Coast, because her family is based in North Carolina, and “Covid, pointed out [that] being isolated and so far from your family… that’s not good for anyone.” Clarkson went on to explain that she felt her kids also “really needed a fresh start”, “and it was really cool” that NBC backed her, because, as she put it, “‘Y’all, I love doing this show.”
★ It’s a wrap for the 2023 edition of the Cannes Film Festival, where French director Justine Triet’s courtroom thriller “Anatomy of a Fall” has won this year’s Palme d’Or for best film. In the acclaimed drama, German actress Sandra Hüller plays a novelist tried for murder after the suspicious disappearance of her husband. Jane Fonda presented the festival’s top honor to Triet, pointing out how much things have changed since she first attended the festival in the 1970s. During the presentation, Fonda said: “There were no women directors competing at that time and it never even occurred to us that there was something wrong with that. We’ve come a long way.”
★ Disney has another hit remake on its hands, as “The Little Mermaid” scored a Memorial Day weekend opening of $95.5 million over 3-days, and an estimated 4-day North American haul of $118 million. That puts it on course to net the 4th highest Memorial Day weekend opening in box office history, behind only last year’s “Top Gun: Maverick” ($160 million), Disney’s 2007 film “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” ($139 million), and the “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” ($127 million) in 2008.
-TheWrap, Deadline
★ Rebel Wilson says she has auditioned for a part in the next ‘James Bond’ movie. During an interview at Cannes — where the “Pitch Perfect” alum is premiering her directorial debut, “The Deb” — she revealed that she was invited to audition after Bond producers saw her host last year’s BAFTAs. She did not specify for what role she was trying out, but she did say it wasn’t for ‘007’. At the BAFTAs, she made a few Bond jokes, including serving up her own pitch for a new storyline, where “Bond goes to Australia and it can be called ‘Die Another G’Day’.”
★ Paul Walker is being remembered by his younger brother. 34-year-old Cody Walker shared that he and wife Felicia Knox have named their newborn son Paul in honor of the “Fast & Furious” star, who died in 2013. Paul Barrett (“Bear”) Walker was born on April 30th in Arizona, and the next day the now-parents of three decided on the “perfect” name for their baby boy. Cody posted: “This November will mark 10 years since we lost my brother, Paul, and I just felt now was the appropriate time.”
★ More than 1,000 artifacts from decades of television will hit the auction block on June 24. Among them: “The Tonight Show” set from which Johnny Carson kept a nation awake and entertained; the desk and New York City skyline from David Letterman’s “Late Night”; Archie and Edith Bunker’s living room from “All in the Family”, including the 2 most famous chairs in sitcom history; and the bar around which the “Cheers” regulars congregated. Heritage Auctions is handling the sale of memorabilia, which was amassed by a collector over decades, with the goal of starting a museum. LINK:

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Seth Rogen, Rachel Zegler, Sunny War, Nicole Byer (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Keanu Reeves, Melanie Lynskey, De La Soul & The Roots (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Roger A. Towberman, Sturgill Simpson (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): James Spader, Ian McShane, Ms. Pat; Nic Collins (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jennifer Lopez
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tichina Arnold, Julia Schlaepfer
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Bethenny Frankel, Chris Byrne
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Cara Delevigne, Nicholas Sparks, JORDY
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): The D’Amelio Family
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Kristin Chenoweth
• “A Grammy Salute to The Beach Boys” (CBS): Performers include Andy Grammer, Beck, Brandi Carlile, Charlie Puth, Fall Out Boy, Foster the People, Hanson, Jim James and John Legend.
• “The Rising” (CW): 8-part murder mystery following Neve Kelly, who emerges from the waters of a lake and returns home, to find that she has been reported missing.
• “Barons” (CW): Premiere. 70s surf counter culture and commerce collide, as a group of best friends, inspired by the ocean, create what will become iconic rival surf brands.
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Las Vegas @ Dallas (if necessary)
• “NBA Playoffs” (Check local listings): Miami @ Boston (if necessary)

• Taylor Swift – released the deluxe edition of “Midnights” on Friday, along with the single ‘Karma’, featuring a new verse from rising rapper Ice Spice. How did the collab come about? Swift: “[Ice Spice] reached out through her team…saying…’Ice has been a big fan of Taylor since she was a little kid. We’d love to collaborate’…And I had been listening to her nonstop, like getting ready for my tour…”
• Harry Styles – His hit ‘As It Was’ has accumulated a record 61 weeks on Billboard’s Pop Airplay chart. The song debuted on the April 9, 2022-dated tally and spent seven weeks at #1. It’s currently at #15. It had been tied with The Weeknd’s ‘Blinding Lights’.
•  Phoebe Bridgers – Her side project, Boygenius (also featuring Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus), has hit #1 on the Billboard Adult Alternative chart with ‘Not Strong Enough’. The trio’s debut full-length album “The Record” debuted at #1 on the Top Rock Albums last month.
• Roger Waters – Berlin police are investigating him on suspicion of incitement, regarding a costume he wore while performing there last week. Pics show him firing an imitation machine gun while wearing a black coat with a red armband, a get-up that could constitute “glorification, justification or approval” of Nazi rule, therefore a disturbance of the public peace.
• Joan Jett & the Blackhearts – Friday, they dropped the new tune ‘If You’re Blue”, which will appear on the upcoming EP “Mindsets”, to be released this Friday. The group will tour with Bryan Adams this summer. LINK:
• Tina Turner – In the days after her death last week, ‘What’s Love Got to do With It’ soared to the top spot on the US iTunes chart. Not only that, but 8 of the 10 top tracks were hers – as well as 3 albums at the top of the iTunes albums chart.
• Kenny Chesney — During his tour-stop in Charleston SC, he was joined on-stage by Kelsea Ballerini and her boyfriend, “Outer Banks” star Chase Stokes. Stokes brought the 2 country artists a celebratory shot of tequila, before they performed ‘You and Tequila’. LINK:
• Scotty McCreery — has been announced as a 2023 North Carolina Music Hall of Fame inductee. This year’s class, set for induction on Oct. 19, also includes Betty Davis, George Beverly Shea, Loudon Wainwright III, Fetchin Bones and Bill Curtis. Previous inductees include Eric Church, Randy Travis, Charlie Daniels, Kellie Pickler and Ronnie Milsap.
• Jana Kramer — is engaged to her boyfriend of 6½ months, Allan Russell a Scottish soccer player-turned-coach. She made the announcement on her podcast, explaining that the pair were concluding a small pool party when he suggested the couple and her kids go for a walk to the new house they’re having built, where he got down on one knee on the porch and proposed. (Awwww….) LINK:


⇒ Ontario researchers are working on plans to turn food waste, such as potato peels and corn stalks, into plastic and nylon that can be used to create everyday items — such as yoga pants. The wasteCANcreate program looks to use genomics to help divert tons of waste into useful household clothes and items. We’ll spare you the gross details, but the project involves a process called precision fermentation, which allows tiny creatures to snack on starchy foods and then “poop” out tiny particles of plastic waste, which could then be used to make larger plastic and nylon products such as water bottles or athletic wear. (Making yoga pants from potato peels? And you thought your workout clothing attracted unwanted “eyes” before!)
⇒ The defunct video-rental giant Blockbuster, forced out of business more than a decade ago by the advent of streaming, has taken a swipe from the grave at Netflix’s plan to crack down on password-sharing. A tweet from the official Blockbuster account last Thursday reads: “A friendly reminder that when you used to rent videos from us. We didn’t care who you shared it with… As long as you returned it on time. @netflix”. The Blockbuster brand is now owned by Dish Network, a satellite TV company, but is not being used. (Revenge is a dish best served cold…VERY cold.) LINK:
⇒ When your friends post photos of the delicious meal they’re enjoying at a fancy restaurant, they may actually be doing you a favor. New research shows that being bombarded with images promoting food, including on TV commercials, online and billboards, actually satisfies our cravings and diminishes our desire to overeat. Researchers at Aarhus University in Denmark exposed volunteers to a photo of M&M candies either 3 times or 30 times. Participants who saw the image 30 times had less desire to eat M&Ms than those who saw only 3 images of the candies. (What they didn’t mention is that the study volunteers went out for pizza and chicken wings immediately afterward!)
-Global, DailyBeast, NYPost

If you’re a remote worker, you’d probably like to continue working from home – but would you take a pay cut to do it? Most would, according to a new survey. In a survey conducted in the US, 55% of remote workers said they’d take a lower-paying job in order to keep working from home. On the other hand, 45% of fully remote workers said they’re open to commuting some days if they’re offered a higher-paying job. And as is so often the case, the bottom line is money. 80% of all those polled, including remote-capable workers — say they would go into the office a couple days a week in exchange for more money. The findings, from Ipsos, come as some companies have issued mandates for workers to return to the office, in the belief that in-person work will increase productivity, enhance creativity, and improve collaboration across teams.
(Just remember – these are the same companies that expected productivity from their workers to remain the same when they told them to work from home!)
(What bothered me is when our housekeeper told us she wanted to work from home – Then sent us a list of things to do!)

➢ In a groundbreaking development, scientists have achieved a remarkable feat in battery technology, bringing us closer to one day being able to charge our smartphones in a mere 60 seconds. This innovation, pioneered by a team from Stanford University, introduces a newly-developed battery made of aluminum that not only addresses safety concerns but also surpasses its predecessors in terms of longevity and efficiency, and is able to withstand 7,500 recharges without failure. There are environmental benefits as well, as the new battery could replace alkaline batteries, which are harmful to the environment, and lithium-ion batteries, which occasionally burst into flames. (At one recharge per day, 7,500 recharges works out to over 20 years. Apparently, some people hang onto their phone even longer than I do…)
➢ A 40-year-old man from the Netherlands is able to walk for the first time in 12 years. Gert-Jan Oskam, who was paralyzed in a cycling accident, is learning to walk again thanks to a “brain-spine interface”. The wireless, electronic implants create a direct neurological link between Oskam’s brain and spine to decode and transmit his thoughts into commands to move his legs and feet. With the implants, Oskam has been able to regain natural control over the movement of his legs, allowing him to stand, walk and even climb stairs, a medical first. Oskam says he’s especially excited to be able to stand at a bar to drink with his friends. (Which is ironic, because when I do that, I lose control of my legs…)

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 77% of adults admit they buy gum or candy in the checkout line almost every time they go food shopping.
• 29% of parents use their kids as an excuse to buy chocolate milk for themselves.
• 25% of us take a shower at night rather than in the morning.
• 6% of adults say they NEVER eat eggs.
• 31% of adults admit they haven’t flossed in the last 6 months.
• 60% say they use their garage for something other than its intended purpose.
• 15% of adults say they’ve tried to get into the wrong car in a parking lot.

A Colorado veterinary clinic is advising pet owners to remove their dog’s collar when inside. The Royal Vista Vets says that while a collar is essential for keeping your pup safe in the outside world, when you return home, it’s safer to remove it, because it could easily catch on furniture. The statement was released after a 14-month-old Golden Retriever got his collar stuck while playing. He panicked and tried to get free, but twisted himself in way that his collar tightened around his neck. Percy is now on the road to recovery. (Of course, he may never recover from the fact that now he’s forced to walk around NUDE all day…)


• “Memorial Day”, in the US, honoring men and women who died while serving in the military. It began following the Civil War, in which more soldiers sacrificed their lives than in any previous conflict. After the war ended in 1865, the first national cemeteries were established. Memorial Day is also considered the unofficial start of summer in the US. (And apparently, a fantastic time to take advantage of clearance prices on used cars, mattresses…and fireworks!)
• “International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers”, observed on the anniversary of the first deployment of UN Peacekeeping Forces, in 1948 in the Middle East.
• “Learn About Composting Day”, a great excuse to go green and help the environment. LINK:
• “Paper Clip Day”, yes, even the paperclip has its own day. (Really, a paper clip is just a stapler for people with commitment issues…)
• “Coq Au Vin Day”, Coq au vin (which translates to “rooster with wine”) is French braise of chicken, cooked with wine, lardons (salt pork), mushrooms and garlic.
• “Biscuit Day”, American biscuits are small crusty bread rolls, often served at breakfast or as a side dish. However, in the UK, the word “biscuit” is used for flat sweet treats which are known as “cookies” elsewhere. (Do they also have a “Biscuit Monster”?)

[Tues] Mint Julep Day
[Tues] World MS Day
[Wed] Save Your Hearing Day
[Thurs] Dare Day
This Month is…Foster Care Month
This Month is…Home Improvement Month

1953 [70] Danny Elfman, Los Angeles CA, film composer (“The Nightmare Before Christmas”, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, “Spider-Man”)/pop singer-songwriter (Oingo Boingo ‘Dead Man’s Party’)

1958 [65] Annette Bening, Topeka KS, movie actress (“The Kids Are All Right”, “American Beauty”), 4 Oscars/married to Warren Beatty since 1992. COMING UP… “Nyad”

1956 [67] La Toya Jackson, Gary IN, R&B singer (‘Just Say No’, ‘Hot Potato’)/sister of Michael Jackson

1961 [62] Melissa Etheridge, Leavenworth KS, classic rock singer (‘I’m the Only One’, ‘Come to My Window’)

1967 [56] Noel Gallagher, Manchester England, rock guitarist-songwriter (Oasis -‘Wonderwall’, ‘Champagne Supernova’)

1975 [48] Melanie B (Brown) (“Scary Spice”), Leeds UK, pop singer (Spice Girls – ‘Wannabe’)/TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” 2013-18, “The X Factor UK” 2012-16)

1975 [48] Daniel Tosh, Boppard Germany, comedian-TV host (“Tosh.0” 2009-20, “Brickleberry” 2012-15) COMING UP… “The GOAT” series

1972 [51] Laverne Cox, Mobile AL, TV actress (“Orange Is the New Black” 2013-19)/in 2014, became the first transgender person in over 20 years to be nominated for an Emmy

1989 [34] Riley Keough, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Mad Max: Fury Road”, “It Comes at Night”)/ granddaughter of Elvis Presley

2003 [20] Legendary entertainer Bob Hope celebrates his 100th birthday (he dies just a few months later)

2010 [13] Dennis Hopper (“Blue Velvet”, “Easy Rider”, “True Grit”) dies of prostate cancer at age 74

2018 [05] ABC cancels “Roseanne” after star Roseanne Barr posts a racist tweet

1983 [40] Van Halen is paid a record $1.5 million to play Day 2 (“Heavy Metal Day”) of Apple founder Steve Wozniak’s ‘US Festival’. At the time, it’s the most any act has ever been paid for a single performance (David Bowie was paid the same for his show the next day)

2010 [13] Shania Twain divorces music producer Robert “Mutt” Lange after 14 years of marriage

2022 [01] Rockabilly legend Ronnie Hawkins dies at age 87

1953 [70] Edmund Hillary and Nepalese Sherpa Tenzing Norgay become the first climbers to reach the summit of Mount Everest

2005 [18] 23-year-old Danica Patrick becomes the first female driver to take the lead in the fabled Indianapolis 500 (eventually finishes 4th)


✓ Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team in his sophomore year.
✓ Martha Stewart became a billionaire while in prison.
✓ Albert Einstein never wore socks.
✓  Michael J. Fox’s middle name doesn’t start with a “J.” It’s Andrew.
✓ Growing up, Katy Perry wasn’t allowed to eat Lucky Charms cereal because her parents felt that luck is “linked to the devil.”
✓ A young Madonna was fired from Dunkin’ Donuts for messing with the jelly machine.
-FactRetriever, BuzzFeed

Best of BS . . .

• Do you run with scissors?
• If you have a lot of people waiting for a cut, is that called a ‘barbecue’?
• Are you the bass, baritone, or tenor?
• Can you cut it longer?
• How much can I get cut for six bucks?
• What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
• If I don’t like my haircut, do I have toupée?
• Can you take just a little off the bottom?
• Can I have a refund? It grew back.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

➠ Today is Memorial Day. (Be careful, Last year, I totally ruined my Memorial Day trying to figure out how to get out of an IKEA…)
➠ The Indy 500 was yesterday. (It happens every year over Memorial Day weekend . . . just like me vomiting Coors Light and boneless hot wings…)
➠ Interesting Indianapolis-500 fact: It’s only repetitive, pointless, and boring if you’re sober…
➠ I just read that one in every 5 people have injured themselves in the bathroom. (Darn you, Taco Bell!)
➠ I just read that people who work in the banking industry are most likely to cheat on their spouses. (So, if you client goes ‘belly-up’ at work, it’s BAD. . . but if it happens after work, it’s GOOD!)

How I spent my weekend:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand…”

• What is the largest continent in size?
a) Asia [CORRECT]
b) Europe
c) North America
d) Atlantis

• In which Italian city can you find the Colosseum?
a) Venice
b) Rome [CORRECT]
c) Naples
d) Colossemorado

• Which company has a mermaid in its logo?
a) Spotify
b) Starbucks [CORRECT]
c) Target
d) KFC

What’s the make-work chore that someone you know does — that makes absolutely no sense? (Shoveling while it’s still snowing? Ironing sheets? Bathing children?)

Question:  12% of adults say they still have THIS from grade school. What is it?
Answer:  Their best friend

Limitations live only in our minds. But if you use your imagination, your possibilities become limitless.


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