May 15 2020

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Friday, May 15, 2020  Edition: #6698

Can You Believe This Sheet?

★ Amanda Kloots has given a very happy update on her husband, actor Nick Cordero. She has continued to update fans of the actor’s condition, using the hashtag #wakeupnick. On Wednesday, she posted video of herself holding the couple’s 11-month-old son. In it, she says: “Guys we might have to change our hashtag. Nick, dada, is awake!” Cordero, who appeared in Broadway’s “Bullets Over Broadway” and in TV’s “Blue Bloods”, was hospitalized in April with COVID-19. He was placed in a medically-induced coma and had his right leg amputated as doctors treated him for complications of the virus.
★ Late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein is the subject of a brand-new documentary. On Wednesday, Netflix dropped the first trailer for the four-part doc “Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich”, which tells the story of the billionaire financier who took his life in prison last year. The series documents the accusations of sexual assault against women and children, and exposes Epstein’s connections to numerous rich and powerful people. “Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich” premieres on Netflix on May 27.
★ YouTube has launched the trailer for a new competition series called “Sleeping With Friends,” and believe it or not, the contestants will actually be sleeping. That’s the entire goal of the educational reality competition, which will begin streaming for free on May 20, timed to Mental Health Awareness Week. Hosted by BrainCraft’s Vanessa Hill, competitors in the three-part series will compete to improve their own sleeping habits the most by using new techniques and products.
★ Simon Cowell’s six-year-old son Eric has landed his first movie role in “SCOOB!”. The media mogul will star as himself in the new animated Scooby-Doo movie, and has now confirmed his son Eric has bagged a role as the voice of ‘Ben’, a young tourist at the Acropolis in Greece. Simon announced the news on Instagram, where he wrote: ”I watched Scooby Doo as a kid and now I’m thrilled to be watching it again with my son Eric. So, when we got asked to be in the new Scooby Doo movie @SCOOB!, it was the quickest yes I’ve ever said.

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dwayne Johnson, Daveed Diggs, the Head and the Heart
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Pete Buttigieg, HAIM (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kristen Bell, Desus & Mero, Little Big Town, Chris Coleman (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Chris Christie, Tracy Morgan
• “The Talk” (CBS): Candace Cameron Bure, Jo Fros
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Glenn Close, Dr. Eileen Kennedy-More
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ken Jeong, David Blaine
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Matt LeBlanc, Bellamy Young (R)
• “Bravery and Hope: 7 Days on the Front Line” (CBS): Emergency physicians and critical care specialists struggle to save patients suffering from COVID-19 in the largest hospital in the hardest-hit borough of New York.
• “The Greatest #StayAtHome Videos” (CBS): Cedric the Entertainer hosts a look at viral home video moments created while social distancing and sheltering in place.
• “Masters of Illusion” (CW): Season 7 premiere
• “Shark Tank” (ABC):  Season 11 finale
• “The Blacklist” (NBC): Season 7 finale

• “Graduate Together: America Honors the High School Class of 2020” (ABC/CBS/NBC/FOX): A joyful tribute to the high school class of 2020, including commencement addresses, celebrity performances and inspirational vignettes.
• “How to Train Your Husband” (HALLAMRK): Jillian is a successful marriage therapist and best-selling author, but her marriage isn’t going great, and she suddenly realizes that she may not know how to fix it.

• “NASCAR Cup Series) (FOX): From Darlington Raceway
• “Beverly Hills Dog Show” (NBC): From Pomona, Calif., John O’Hurley and David Frei host; Mary Carillo reports from backstage while Maria Menounos welcomes celebrity guests on the red carpet.
• “American Idol” (ABC): Season 18 finale
• “The Simpsons” (FOX): Season 31 finale
• “Bob’s Burgers” (FOX): Season 10 finale
• “Family Guy” (FOX): Season 18 finale
• “Batwoman” (CW): Season 1 finale
• “Supergirl” (CW): Season 5 finale

• Tekashi 6ix9ine – His donation to No Kid Hungry, a nonprofit focused on ending childhood hunger, has been declined. The rapper, who was released from prison last month, announced he was giving $200,000 amid the coronavirus pandemic, but a spokesperson for the organization said: “It is our policy to decline funding from donors whose activities do not align with our mission and values.”
• Taylor Swift — gave an 11-year-old fan a gift beyond her wildest dreams. Emerson Weber has been receiving letters of appreciation from postal workers across the country after she wrote an appreciative note to her local mailman. Emerson’s dad shared on Twitter that one of them came from Swift, and included her “favorite letter writing tools” — wax envelope seals that she uses for her own fan letters.
• Katy Perry — shared an honest tweet about struggling with her mental health while pregnant during the pandemic. She wrote: “Sometimes I don’t know what’s worse trying to avoid the virus or the waves of depression that come with this new norm.”
• The Go-Go’s — Showtime has announced a release date for the group’s upcoming documentary. “The Go-Go’s,” which had its premiere at Sundance earlier this year, will debut on Showtime on Aug. 1st.
• Elton John – His farewell tour, pushed him to #4 on the UK Sunday Times annual list of richest British musicians. Theatrical mogul Andrew Lloyd Webber shared the top spot with Paul McCartney, with an estimated fortune of $985 million. Next came Rihanna with $576 million, John with $443 million and Mick Jagger with $350 million.
• Corey Hart — will release a new single and video on May 29. ‘Never Surrender (Angels)’ is a pandemic-themed remake of his ’80s smash. He posted: “Today as I gaze out onto the uncertain sea of change, I’m reminded of the kind, resilient people in our world who keep moving forward with steely determination and steady stride.”
• Garth Brooks — has released two new songs. During Monday’s episode of his Facebook series, “Inside Studio G”, a fan asked when his new album “Fun” would be available, prompting Brooks to release two new songs the next day. Both songs, ‘Party Gras (The Mardi Gras Song)’ and ‘That’s What Cowboys Do’ are now streaming on Amazon Music Unlimited.
• Thomas Rhett – set a new chart record this week with ‘Beer Can’t Fix’. The duet with Jon Pardi has become Rhett’s ninth consecutive No. 1 single on Billboard’s country airplay chart. He’s now just ahead of Luke Combs (with 7) and Old Dominion (with 6).

A Virginia restaurant manager has come up with an ingenious way to fill seats and enforce social distancing rules at the same time. He plans to populate his establishment with life-size mannequins when it is allowed to re-open late this month. Patrick O’Connell of the Inn at Little Washington originally aimed to reopen his upscale restaurant on May 15. But that plan was thwarted when Virginia Governor Ralph Northam announced on May 9 that businesses could reopen for outdoor seating only, and at 50% capacity. O’Connell plans to outfit half his joint with non-paying seat-occupiers in anticipation of the same 50% rule being applied when indoor dining is allowed. Not only that, he plans to deck out his dining dolls in 1940s fashions, and instruct waiters to serve them wine and interact with them.
(It won’t be the first time a waiter has been ignored at a fancy restaurant…)
(Will that be cash or plastic?)
(I’ve heard of a dumb waiter, but never a dummy diner…)

Frequent flyers who miss the wonderful delight of the prepackaged snacks served on flights can now have them delivered straight to their doors. JetBlue Airways snack packs are available in the US to Imperfect Foods customers, the same grocery delivery service that sells ugly produce for less than store prices. Those of us who are longing for the inflight experience can order mixed cheeses, crackers and dried cherries from the airline that has seen a steep decline in travelers due to the coronavirus pandemic. And more good news: Although you would have had to pay $9 for the airline’s “EatUp” boxes, through Imperfect Food, you can get the same snack for just $2.99.
(No, it is NOT delivered to your place by a stewardess!)
(Pardon the pun, but that’s quite a markUP!)
(Will they send over a Bloody Mary too?)

➢ A Chicago man who escaped jail by wearing a medical mask and assuming another inmate’s identity has been recaptured. 21-year-old Jahquez Scott was found in a home on the city’s West Side, days after the FBI announced a $2,000 reward for information leading to his capture. Scott had been out of the jail since May 2, when he allegedly stepped forward when another inmate’s name was called for discharge, signed release papers and walked out of jail. He had also exchanged sweatshirts with the other inmate (who is suspected of accepting a bribe), and was wearing a mask that concealed tattoos on both sides of his face. (And I can’t get a library book around here without showing ID…)
➢ A South Korean man has been banging his head against a tree every day for five years. The unnamed shoe repairman, who has been featured on TV in South Korea, says that he was a boxer when he was young, but had to give up his dream after starting a family. As he hasn’t had the time or money to visit a boxing gym in decades, he came up with the unique training regimen to condition himself and convince people that he wasn’t someone they’d want to mess with. He proudly displays the scar and callus on his forehead as results of his training, which involves slamming his forehead against the bark-covered tree trunk. (I’m glad SOMEONE had the foresight to properly prepare for 2020!)
-WTTW, OddityCentral

Production of the world’s longest-running cartoon and a mainstay of the Japanese weekend has been interrupted by the coronavirus, forcing the broadcast of reruns. “Sazae-san”, which first aired in 1969, is recognized as the longest-running animated TV series by Guinness. Production has been hampered by the outbreak of the virus, with animation dubbing halted to keep staff safe, broadcaster Fuji Television Network said.


1948 [72] Brian Eno (Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno), Woodbridge UK, record producer/songwriter (U2, Coldplay)/classic rock musician (co-founder Roxy Music – ‘Love is the Drug’)

1956 [64] Dan Patrick (Pugh), TV sportscaster (“Football Night in America” 2006-18)/sportswriter (“Sports Illustrated”)

1969 [51] Emmitt Smith, Pensacola, FL, pro football player (Dallas Cowboys running back who retired with an NFL record 18,355 rushing yards)

1972 [48] David Charvet, Lyon France, TV actor (“Melrose Place” 1996-1998. “Baywatch” 1992-1996)

1974 [46] Russell Hornsby, Oakland CA, TV actor (‘Hank Griffin’ on “Grimm” 2011-17)

1981 [39] Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Jericho NY, TV Actress (‘Meadow Soprano’ on “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)

SATURDAY- Danny Trejo (“Machete”) is 76;  Pierce Brosnan (“Die Another Day”) is 67; Debra Winger (“An Officer and a Gentleman”) is 65; Krist Novoselic (Nirvana) is 55; Janet Jackson (‘Rhythm Nation’) is 54; David Boreanaz (“Bones”) is 51; Tori Spelling (“Beverly Hills 90210”) is 47; Megan Fox (“Transformers”) is 34

SUNDAY- Bob Saget (“Full House”) is 64; Enya (‘Orinoco Flow’) is 59; Craig Ferguson (“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson”) is 58; Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) is 54; Alan Doyle (Great Big Sea) is 51; Jordan Knight (New Kids On the Block) is 50; Derek Hough (“Dancing With the Stars”) is 35

• “Chocolate Chip Day”, Hey, any excuse to mow down on a dozen warm gooey cookies fresh out of the oven. Mmm, can’t you just smell ’em? (And, any excuse NOT to eat cookies with raisins in them!)

• “Nylon Stocking Day”, Many may not remember ever hearing the term “nylon stockings.” A nylon stocking (also known as hose) is a close-fitting, variously elastic garment worn the same as socks or tights.

• “Peace Officers Memorial Day”, An annual observance by over 20,000 police departments across North America to honor colleagues killed in the line of duty.

• “Straw Hat Day”, best celebrated by going out and getting yourself a new straw hat! You can find them in almost any size, shape, and even material.

• “Dinosaur Day”, a Paleontologists favorite day! Dinosaurs first appeared during the Triassic period, between 243 and 231 million years ago, although the exact origin and timing is still the subject of research. The name ‘dinosaur’ is Greek, meaning “terrible lizard”. (BS FACTOID: While many people think dinosaurs were massive, they were usually human sized or smaller. Scientists believe that the larger bones were just easier fossilized, and therefore more likely to survive to present-day)

• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?
• “Love a Tree Day”, a great day for tree-huggers everywhere. Trees are a good thing. They give us shade, comfort and shelter. They give off oxygen, too.
• “Mimosa Day”, celebrating the cocktail traditionally made with equal parts chilled orange juice and champagne and served in a champagne flute. It was originally created at the Ritz Hotel in Paris in 1925.
• “Piercing Day”, a ‘Hole-y Holiday’ celebrating the practice of puncturing or cutting a part of the human body to create an opening in which jewelry can be worn. (You need another piercing like you need another hole in the head!)
• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first ‘intergalactic holiday’, as declared by a group called ‘The Moderns’, whose goal is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.
• “Sea Monkey Day”, celebrating the amazing pet that comes alive when placed in water. ‘Sea-Monkeys’ is the brand name for brine shrimp sold in hatching kits as novelty aquarium pets in the US, Canada, and the UK since 1960.
• “US Armed Forces Day”, celebrated since 1949 on the 3rd Saturday of May to salute Americans serving in the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, and Coast Guard.

• “Pack Rat Day”, celebrating people who squirrel away all kinds of ‘stuff’. What’s the oddest thing you have that you refuse to throw away? (But I might need those old soup cans someday!)
• “World Hypertension Day”, an annual observance to highlight the fact that stroke, heart, and kidney diseases caused by high blood pressure are preventable.
• “World Information Society Day”, formerly known as “World Telecommunications Day”, now the main objective of the day is to raise global awareness of social changes brought about by the Internet and new technologies. It also aims to help reduce the digital divide.
• “Cherry Cobbler Day”, dedicated to the delicious tart dessert that many enjoy with ice cream.

2008 [12] Shania Twain and producer Robert “Mutt” Lange announce they are separating after 14 years of marriage. Lange’s affair with Twain’s best friend, Marie-Anne Thiébaud, triggered the split. Twain later marries Thiébaud’s ex-husband, Frédéric (and no one wrote a country song about this??)

1982 [38] The racial-harmony anthem ‘Ebony and Ivory’, by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, hits #1 in the US

2009 [11] Randy Bachman of the Guess Who and Bachman-Turner Overdrive is presented with Canada’s highest civilian honor, Officer of the Order of Canada

1995 [25] The first casino gambling website is launched on the Internet (now there are a gazillion)

2010 [10] 16-year-old Australian sailor Jessica Watson becomes the youngest person to sail non-stop and unassisted around-the-world


✓ According to a study, most dogs reach peak cuteness between six and eight weeks old.
✓ Ducks only lay eggs early in the morning.
✓ Eggplants are berries.
✓ The corpse flower was the official flower of the Bronx for 60 years.
✓ The verb “unfriend” appeared in 1659.
✓ Viking men wore makeup.

• Netflix and Chili
• Everything Tastes Better With Vodka
• Nachopalooza
• Whatever’s Left Over With Rachel Ray
• Julia “Child, Would You PLEASE Leave Me Alone?”
• No Shoes, No Pants, No Problem
• Pizza Again
• Everybody Loves Ramen

Best of BS . . .

• Ironing Man
• Sigh Hard
• Gently and Very Slowly Ease Mother From the Train
• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Balloons
• Dude, My Car Was Here All Along!
• Just a Classic Park
• The Empire Smiles Back
• Slow and Curious
• Inglorious Math Nerds
• Jackson
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

➠ A woman was seen driving over the headstones at Houston’s National Cemetery on Mother’s Day, and the pics have gone viral. (There’s a story behind why she did this, but as you can see…no plot.)
➠ Pennsylvania State Police arrested a trespasser who broke into a home at 4am by busting down the front door just so he could take a shower. (It appears he was trying to make a “clean getaway”!)
➠ A study says that dogs endure emotional difficulties in puberty similar to humans. (For the sake of sanity, don’t let them listen to Taylor Swift music!!!)
➠ There is an app that allows drivers to turn their phone into a breathalyzer.  (Here’s how it works: If a cop sees you blowing into your phone, he knows you’re drunk…)
➠ After a video went viral, IKEA in China had to remind people not to masturbate in its stores.  (I can see the confusion, though. I mean, they’ve got signs everywhere that say “Do It Yourself”!)

Dough doh:

If you woke up tomorrow and discovered that everything in life is free, what is the first thing you would do?

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided if the cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

Question:  The average family has four of THESE in their house. What are they?
Answer:  Dining room chairs

Dreams don’t work unless you do.


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