Wednesday, May 19, 2021 — Edition: #6990

Sheet Happens!

 

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet will not be publishing on Monday, May 24 to observe the Canadian Victoria Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 25.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The legendary “Charlie bit my finger” viral video is being auctioned off as an NFT later this month before being deleted from the internet. The Davis-Carr family, who created the video, plan to mark its 14th anniversary by making the winner of the auction “the sole owner of the clip”, and giving them the chance to recreate the video with the original stars. The family wrote that the Charlie Bit My Finger video, which has been seen by over 880 million people, is  “the most-viewed viral video of all time”. The auction begins Saturday at charliebitme.com. NFT’s – or non-fungible tokens – are digital assets that are unique and can’t be exchanged. LINK TO VID: https://youtu.be/_OBlgSz8sSM
-LADBible
★ Get set for “Clash of the Cover Bands”, a new music competition show, set to premiere later this year. It will feature The Ellen DeGeneres Show’s DJ Stephen “tWitch” Boss as host, and celebrity judges Meghan Trainor, Adam Lambert and Ester Dean. In each episode, two bands of similar musical genre will go head-to-head to see which gives the most entertaining cover performance, with a chance to win a cash prize and bragging rights.
-MSN
★ Kim Kardashian celebrated Janet Jackson’s birthday over the weekend by becoming the proud new owner of the outfit Jackson wore in her 1993 ‘If’ music video. In her Instagram Story, Kardashian wrote: “Happy birthday queen!” alongside a clip of Jackson wearing the ensemble. She went on to say: “For @janetjackson’s bday bc I’m such a fan I can’t believe I won this on juliensauctions.” Two days earlier, the auction house announced that the outfit — a custom-made cropped suede top with artificial bone detailing and a pair of black lace-up front pants — had sold for $25,000.
-People
★ Gordon Ramsay is taking things to the next level — literally — with his latest cooking competition, “Next Level Chef.” According to Fox, the show is “the next evolution in cooking competitions…Ramsay has designed a one-of-a-kind culinary gauntlet. Over 3 stories high, each floor contains a stunningly different kitchen. From the glistening top floor to the challenging bottom of the basement, the ingredients will match the environment, because Ramsay believes the true test of great chefs is not only what they can do in the best of circumstances, but what kind of magic they can create in the worst!” The participant named “Next Level Chef” at the end of the season will win the $250,000 grand prize.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Don Cheadle, Patti Harrison, Lake Street Dive
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Blake Shelton, Horatio Sanz, Regard, Troye Sivan & Tate McRae
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Lisa Kudrow, Tamika Mallory
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sen. Bernie Sanders, Action Bronson, Brian Frasier-Moore
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Eric Bana
• “Conan” (TBS): Charles Barkley
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Lisa Rinna, Sutton Stracke, Dorit Kemsley, Crystal Kung Minkoff, Garcelle Beauvais, Kyle Richards
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): John Stamos, Dorothy A. Brown
• “The Talk” (CBS): Guest co-hosts Jerry O’Connell & David Begnaud
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Wilmer Valderrama
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Stacey Abrams, Dave Bautista, Lady A
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Wanda Sykes, Mike Epps, Simu Liu, Tom Jones
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Nina Dobrev, Julianne Hough, David Begnaud
• “The Goldbergs” (ABC): Season 8 finale
• “Home Economics” (ABC): Season 1 finale
• “The Conners” (ABC): Season 3 finale
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Round 1 continues: Washington @ Boston, Nashville @ Carolina, Winnipeg @ Edmonton, St. Louis @ Colorado

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish – says she decided to dye her hair blonde after seeing a picture of herself that had been edited by a fan. Speaking on “Ellen” she said she had been considering blonde hair for a while, then she saw the fan edit, “And I was like: ‘Ah, it’s so sick, I want it!’”
• Nick Jonas — sustained multiple injuries, including a cracked rib, in a bike accident, but was able to return to work on “The Voice” on Monday. He was injured late Saturday night while filming a project, and it was serious enough that he was reportedly kept in hospital overnight.  At the start of The Voice, he told host Carson Daly: “I’m feeling OK. I’ve been better, but I’m doing all right.” It’s unclear what show he was working on at the time of his accident.
• Iron Maiden — The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has responded to criticism over the group not being chosen for induction this year, despite being nominated for the first time. CEO Greg Harris says while the Hall regards the band as an “impactful, influential band,” he insisted that rock and roll is a “big tent and everybody fits under it”, an apparent reference to the fact that Jay-Z did make the cut.
• Coldplay — will play a live-streamed concert on TikTok on Monday to support Red Nose Day, an annual campaign to end child poverty. The group will give an intimate, 4-song performance live from London at 2 pm EST. It will mark Coldplay’s first-ever live concert on TikTok.
• Alice Cooper – has announced he’ll make his long-awaited return to the road with a headline tour this fall. It kicks off Sept. 17 in Atlantic City and runs through Oct. 23 in Atlanta. Original KISS guitarist Ace Frehley will appear as special guest on all shows Sept. 18 through Oct. 22.
• Paul McCartney — Hulu has announced that a 6-part music docuseries titled “McCartney 3,2,1” will premiere on July 16. In what is being called a “fresh take” on his career, McCartney speaks with mega-successful producer Rick Rubin, detailing his experience and insights into songwriting and his groundbreaking work with the Beatles, Wings, and his 51 years as a solo artist.
• Chase Rice — will complete the release of “The Album” this spring, finishing a project that he started when he dropped Part I over a year ago. The final chapter of The Album will arrive on May 28. The latest segment consists of 3 brand-new songs, plus his current single ‘Drinkin’ Beer. Talkin’ God. Amen’.
• Jordan Davis – announced on social media Monday that he and his wife, Kristen O’Connor, are expecting their second child, a boy. The couple has an 18-month-old daughter, Eloise’. The ‘Almost Maybes’ singer will release his “Buy Dirt” EP on Friday.
• Alan Jackson — is heading back to his hometown of Newnan, Georgia, to headline a benefit concert. “Where I Come From: Tornado Benefit Featuring Alan Jackson” will be held on June 26 at Newman’s Coweta County Fairgrounds and will assist in efforts to rebuild the area, which was heavily damaged by a tornado on March 26.

SHOOTING THE BULL

A NEW TWITTER TWIST:
Twitter is considering launching a paid subscription service called “Twitter Blue”, according to an independent researcher. Jane Manchun Wong, who made a name for herself by uncovering accidentally-public upcoming features of popular apps, shared screenshots of the service, which will cost $2.99 a month. If what she has found comes into use, for their money, Twitter-subscribers will be given the ability to save and organize tweets into collections – expanding on Twitter’s bookmark feature. The service would also come with an “undo tweet” button, which would allow users to prevent a tweet from being sent for a few seconds after posting.
(Oh! The ‘drunk’ button!)
(Seriously? STILL no ‘edit’ button?)
(Awesome. Now I’ll be able to PAY for the privilege of being mercilessly flamed every time I try to have a reasonable discussion…)
-TheGuardian

GROUNDWORK:
Working too much is bad for you. We’ve all heard that. But according to the World Health Organization, working long hours is killing hundreds of thousands of people a year. And not only is the trend worsening, it may accelerate further due to the pandemic. In the first global study of the loss of life associated with longer working hours, the WHO says working 55 hours or more a week is associated with a 35% higher risk of stroke and a 17% higher risk of dying from heart disease compared with those working 35-40 hours a week. They also found that the pandemic is feeding the trend toward increased working time, estimating that at least 9% of people now work long hours.
(55 hours per week? Not a problem on the (***Name of show***) …unless you add us all together!)
(Yes, but these days, the reason I work so many hours is because I spend half of them on Facebook and Twitter!)
(Last week, I spent 55 hours last week in Zoom meetings alone…or at least it felt like it…)
-Reuters

NOT ‘IN A PICKLE’, BUT THERE’S A PICKLE IN THEM:
What started as an April fool’s joke is becoming reality. And you’ll have that to blame when you taste new ‘pickle-flavored’ hard seltzer. Drinkware company BrüMate and beverage company Crook & Marker have announced they are working together on a pickle-flavored hard seltzer called “Afternoon Dillight”. This comes more than a year after BrüMate made a joke post on April 1, 2020, teasing Afternoon Dillight, which it said was the world’s first pickle hard seltzer. After some pickle fans expressed disappointment that the product was a joke, the companies are now promoting their real, soon-to-be released product, promising it will pack a crunch and a buzz. Only 10,000 12-packs will be made available, and those interested in purchasing need to sign up to be on the VIPickle list on the Crook’d Brü website. Afternoon Dillight will be available this summer.
(It’s kind of a big dill…)
(I hope they have “Bread and Butter” pickle flavor. It’s a bit of a dill-breaker for me…)
(Does it come in a jar?)
-CNN

ANIMAL KINGDOM IN THE RING:
A poll asking Americans what animals would win in a fight featuring random pairings with other animals has resulted in some hilarious reactions. First, here are the top five animals, ranked according to fighting prowess in the poll by YouGov.com:
1. Elephant (rated to win in 74% of random pairings)
1. (tie) Rhinoceros (74%)
3. Grizzly Bear (73%)
4. Tiger (70%)
5. Hippopotamus (69%)
The lion, crocodile, alligator, gorilla and polar bear round out the top 10. Last? The goose, with 14%. Second last? Humans, at 17%. Here are some of the more interesting responses from some of those humans . . .
➢ The level of delusion in this country is incredible. 23% of Americans can’t get off the couch without using their hands. No way they’re washing a large dog in a fight. – Troy Flint
➢ I would fight every one of these animals. I would beat them too. If the cat wasn’t really mad. – Ian Fortey
➢ I don’t know what’s worse, the 8% that think they have any chance against a lion, elephant or gorilla, or the 31% afraid of a fight with a house cat. – Brett Billante
-YouGov, BroBible

DID YOU KNOW?
Because of high demand, lumber has emerged as the hottest commodity of this year’s home, deck and fence construction season, and as a result, it has reached all-time high prices. But home builders are reporting that lumber is also a hot commodity for thieves. Akash Home of Edmonton has been hit at several job sites this spring, causing losses of around $100,000. After dark, thieves used on-site machinery to load massive bundles of wood onto their own trailers, sometimes taking product from 2 or 3 builders in the same neighbourhood. Wood is now being marked with spray paint to help identify it if it turns up at another job site or for sale online. (Well, I DID say it’s a “hot” commodity…)
-CBC

BS CHRONOMETER 05.19.21

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [76] Pete Townshend, Chiswick England, classic rock guitarist-composer-singer (The Who-‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 1990

1949 [72] Dusty Hill, Dallas TX, classic rock bassist-singer (ZZ Top-‘Legs’, ‘La Grange’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 1994

1954 [67] Phil Rudd, Melbourne Australia, rock drummer (AC/DC-‘You Shook Me All Night Long’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 2003

1983 [38] Michael Che, New York City NY, comedian-actor (“Saturday Night Live” since 2013, “Weekend Update” host since 2014, co-head writer at SNL since 2017)

1992 [29] Sam Smith, London UK, pop-soul singer/songwriter (‘Stay with Me’)

1992 [29] Marshmello (Chris Comstock), Philadelphia PA, marshmallow bucket-headed DJ (‘Alone’, w/Selena Gomez-‘Wolves’)

2003 [18] JoJo Siwa, Omaha NE, TV actress (“The JoJo & BowBow Show Show” 2018-19)/reality show contestant (“Dance Moms” 2015-16)/social media sensation (over 12 million subscribers, more than 3.5 billion views on her YouTube channel)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Personal Support Worker Day”, an awareness day to recognize the essential service PSWs provide in sustaining our health-care system and providing high-quality community and home-based care.

• “Boys & Girls Club Day”, saluting the efforts of those who create and maintain facilities for safe recreational activities for young people that help teach values and citizenship.

• “Devil’s Food Cake Day”, enjoyed by chocolate cake lovers around the world. It differs from a regular chocolate cake by its darker color and it tends to be more moist and airy (but it’s never around here long enough to notice that…)

• “May Ray Day”, a day for getting outside, soaking up the sun’s rays, and celebrating the warmer weather. May is the last full month of spring in the Northern Hemisphere, when it is starting to warm up pretty nicely, but it’s not yet so scorching hot that you can’t stand being outside. (The mosquitos, however, are another thing entirely…)

• “World IBD Awareness Day”, a way to bring together those affected by Crohn’s and Colitis, as well as their friends and family members, and even those who knew nothing about either disease, in order to increase awareness of them.

• “National Hepatitis Testing Day”,  a day to encourage testing for hepatitis B virus (HBV) and hepatitis C virus (HCV). Over 4 million Americans are living with HBV or HCV, and about 2 million don’t know they are infected.

• “Turn Beauty Inside Out Day”, to shift the definition of beauty from outer beauty to inner beauty. The also day exists to recognize the negative pressures about their appearance put on women by the media.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Flower Day
[Thurs] Hummus Day
[Fri] American Red Cross Founder’s Day
[Fri] NASCAR Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [09] A day after his company goes public, Facebook founder & CEO Mark Zuckerberg weds longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan at his home in Palo Alto CA

2013 [08] Donald Trump declares country singer Trace Adkins winner of “The Celebrity Apprentice” on NBC-TV

2018 [03] American actress Meghan Markle marries Prince Harry at a ceremony in Windsor Castle. Queen Elizabeth II grants them the titles of Duke and Duchess of Sussex

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992 [29] Billy Ray Cyrus releases his debut album “Some Gave All”, featuring his signature song ‘Achy Breaky Heart’” The single’s music video spawns a line-dancing trend across the US

2013 [08] A 1966 VOX guitar played by both John Lennon and George Harrison of The Beatles sells to an unidentified buyer for $408,000 at a NYC auction

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2020 [01] A study published in “Nature Climate Change” reveals that greenhouse gas emissions dropped 17% worldwide in April 2020, while the world was in lockdown

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2005 [16] “Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith” opens at 12:01 am, then grosses $50 million in a single day, a new box office record

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Mosquitoes prefer children to adults, and blondes to brunettes.
✓ There are more than 500 words for “macaroni” in Italian.
✓ Salt is the only rock humans can eat.
✓ The dolphins that live in the Amazon River are pink.
✓ Other names considered for the Seven Dwarfs: Snoopy, Dippy, Blabby, Woeful and Flabby.
✓ Sesame Street’s ‘Elmo’ is the only non-human to testify before US Congress.
-BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
• How can the weather be ‘HOT as hell’ one day but ‘COLD as hell’ another?
• Why is the Lone Ranger called ‘Lone’ if he always has his friend Tonto with him?
• How does a real estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
• Can a cemetery raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Why do medicine commercials say ‘Tell your doctor if you have any medical
problems’? They’re the doctor, shouldn’t they be telling you?

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ A report claims that violent video games and movies desensitizes us to violence. (I watch tons of violent movies and it’s NEVER impacted me. Whomever came up with these stats should be executed!)
➠ Prostitutes are facing a shortage of clients due to hook-up apps and the pandemic. (If there’s a Bat Signal for Charlie Sheen, now’s definitely the time to use it!)
➠ A pet food company has brewed up a non-alcoholic, carbonated beer for dogs, called “Bowser Beer.” (You can find it at pet stores in the section marked, “Waste of money”)
➠ Did you know:  You can be fined up to $100 for swearing in public places in Mississippi. (Which is why it costs you $100 every time you spell “Mississippi” out loud!)
➠ Scientists claim that having large breasts can take 5 years off a woman’s lifespan. (Sad. But on the positive side, at least we have all those amazing Mammories…)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which of the following is NOT an organ in the human body?
a) Pancreas
b) Ulna [CORRECT]
c) Gallbladder
d) Eye

• Which of the following is NOT a literary bear?
a) Clifford [CORRECT]
b) Corduroy
c) Winnie the Pooh
d) Paddington

• Which celebrity never made a cameo on “Friends”?
a) Reece Witherspoon
b) Brad Pitt
c) George Clooney
d) Shaquille O’Neal [CORRECT]
-BuzzFeed

BS WEB GOODIE:
Happy dance:  https://tinyurl.com/djd5p85

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the most embarrassing thing your kids ever said (or did)?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  55% of us admit we’ve lied about THIS to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. What is it?
Answer:  Their cooking

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It’s about what you’re made of, not the circumstances.