Thursday, May 20, 2021 — Edition: #6991
Another Sheetload of Bull!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet will not be publishing on Monday, May 24 to observe the Canadian Victoria Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 25.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Demi Lovato has come out as non-binary and will be using the pronouns “they”/”them” from now on. The 28-year-old said on Twitter that the decision came after “a lot of healing & self-reflective work”. In a separate message as part of the first episode from Lovato’s new podcast, they wrote: “Every day we wake up, we are given another opportunity and chance to be who we want and wish to be.” Lovato also tweeted: “I’m doing this for those out there that haven’t been able to share who they truly are with their loved ones. Please keep living in your truths.” The podcast “4D with Demi Lovato”, debuted on Wednesday.
-E!, Reuters
★ Sharon Stone is not happy that a new version of her 1992 thriller “Basic Instinct” is coming to theaters. She told the Australian news show “A Current Affair” that “They’ve decided to release the director’s triple-X cut for the 30th anniversary.” She was infamously featured in a police interrogation scene with Michael Douglas’ character in the movie, in which she uncrossed and crossed her legs to reveal she wasn’t wearing panties – a moment which has since gone down as one of the most controversial in Hollywood history. Now, with the looming launch of an enhanced version, Stone says she is powerless to stop the release.
-Canoe
★ Charles Grodin, the comic, scene-stealing actor of films like “The Heartbreak Kid”, “Midnight Run” and “Beethoven,” who later established himself as a curmudgeonly talk show guest, died Tuesday at his home in Wilton, CT. He was 86. His son, Nicholas, told The New York Times that the cause of death was bone marrow cancer.
-Deadline
★ Jason Momoa has found his next adventure. He’ll star in a new docuseries for Discovery called “On the Roam”. It’ll follow Momoa as he sets out in search of artists and dreamers who have mastered their individual crafts. He will travel across the United States to meet extraordinary people who are blazing their respective paths — including motorcycle fabricators, craftsmen, musicians and athletes — and making a difference in their industry.
-MSN
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Ryan Seacrest, Yvonne Orji, Counting Crows
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dayglow
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Krasinski, Yo-Yo Ma
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Rob McElhenney, Ryan O’Connell, Brian Frasier-Moore
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Hank Azaria, Sara Bareilles
• “Conan” (TBS): Bill Burr
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Pink
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Guest co-hosts Jerry O’Connell & David Begnaud
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Uzo Aduba, Monica Mangin, Dr. Wendy Bazilian
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jake Tapper, Tig Notaro
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Billy Crystal, Olivia Liang, Danielle Kartes
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Hugh Grant, Nicole Beharie
• “Let’s Be Real” (FOX): Season 1 finale
• “Last Man Standing” (FOX): Series finale
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Round 1 continues: Montreal @ Toronto, Florida @ Tampa, Pittsburgh @ NY Islanders, Vegas @ Minnesota
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Nicki Minaj — shared a snapshot of herself wearing not much more than just a pair of hot pink Crocs, which were accessorized with bedazzled charms. As a result, “pink crocs” and “nicki minaj crocs” were breakout searches that day, according to Google Trends, and resulted in a 4,900% spike in sales of pink Crocs. The retailer’s website apparently crashed, too.
• Adam Levine — is heading back to “The Voice” and looking forward to seeing his old friends – or most of them. He’ll perform ‘Beautiful Mistakes’ alongside Megan Thee Stallion and Maroon 5 on the show’s season 20 live finale on May 25. In a statement, he said: “It’s good to be back on ‘The Voice’ and see Carson, Kelly, Nick, and John”, noticeably leaving out his “archrival” Blake Shelton.
• Mel B — highlights the horror of domestic abuse in a powerful new video. The singer, who has accused her ex-husband Stephen Belafonte of abuse, allegations he has repeatedly denied, teamed up with Women’s Aid for the new clip, ‘Love Should Not Hurt’. The video tells the story of a woman’s brave escape from a relationship.
• Stevie Nicks – will co-headline this year’s edition of the BottleRock Napa Valley festival. Also at the top of the bill are Guns N’ Roses and Foo Fighters, alongside an eclectic mix of supporting artists such as Miley Cyrus, Megan Thee Stallion, G-Eazy and Run The Jewels. BottleRock is a music, wine, craft brew and culinary event taking place September 3-5.
• R.E.M. — will release a direct reproduction of their 1981 demo tape, ‘Cassette Set’, in cassette format on July 23. The tape, a coveted bootleg item, has never been physically issued before. It includes 5 early recordings by the band. Just 1,500 copies will be produced.
• Nirvana – The lock of Kurt Cobain’s hair that was recently put up for auction has officially sold for $14,145. If you split hairs, each of the 6 singular ones went for $2,357.50. The winning bid in “The Amazing Music Auction (Vol. I)” secured the 6 strands of hair that were cut by his friend, Tessa Osbourne, while in Birmingham, England on the Bleach tour in 1989.
• Brantley Gilbert — is back in the studio – with Jason Aldean. Gilbert revealed in a Facebook photo on Monday that the two friends are working together. His caption: “Excited about this one.”
• Jimmie Allen — will perform the national anthem at this year’s Indianapolis 500 on May 30. Allen made history in 2018 as the first Black artist to launch a career with two consecutive #1 hits on country radio, with ‘Best Shot’ and ‘Make Me Want To’.
• Garth Brooks – will narrate “America’s National Parks – from Yosemite to the Grand Canyon” for National Geographic. It’s a 10-part documentary set to air in 2022. He’ll also exec-produce the series, which is being shot using cutting-edge technology, including the latest high-resolution drone technology.
SHOOTING THE BULL
NOW BATTING – FOR THE 5TH TIME TODAY:
Minor league baseball has a long history of what could be called “creative” marketing promotions, with the idea of putting more fans in the seats. But this one might put them in the washrooms. On Saturday, the Myrtle Beach Pelicans (a Chicago Cubs farm team) announced that they are again selling “Beer Bats” at home games this season. The “Beer Bat” is exactly what it sounds like…a beer glass (actually made of plastic) shaped like a two-foot-long baseball bat. And what’s more, the beer Bat made its debut on $1 beer day. And… we’re told it’s glorious. The team has sold beer bats since 2019, but it wasn’t until a fan posted a picture online on the weekend that it became the subject of viral fame. Regular price on non-dollar beer days is $15, and you get to keep the glass. We’re told each beer bat holds about 26 ounces. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yu7xmfjr
(And you get a free one if you can drink 2 and get the glasses home without breaking them…)
(There’s absolutely no way this could go wrong!)
(Looks like a recipe for a brawl in the stands!)
-USAToday, FortheWin
OFFENSE TAKEN:
It just might be the new “OK, Boomer”. No, actually, it’s worse. An article referring to older millennials as “geriatric” has sparked a backlash among 30-somethings on Twitter. The label was first used in a Medium.com article called “Why the Hybrid Workforce of the Future Depends on the ‘Geriatric Millennial.’” In it, Erica Dhawan uses the term to describe those born in the early 1980s, who are considered too old to be a regular millennial, but younger than Gen Xers. This age group is often referred to as “cuspers” or “xenials”. The piece says this “special micro-generation” is “comfortable with both analog and digital forms of communication” and was the “first generation to grow up with technology like a PC in their homes.” Although the article is overwhelmingly positive, saying that this group is effective at communicating across generation, and even though the author is a “geriatric millennial” herself, the elder millennial crowd took offense to being called “geriatric” when they haven’t even hit 40. One commenter wrote: “Congrats, I am both insulted and inspired.” Another posted: “As an older millennial…this is highly offensive. This is ageist. I am literally shaking right now!!! Delete this.” Another called the term “the worst generational nickname of all time.”
(That last person has no idea what my dad called me!)
(Did that term hit a little too close to their parent’s home?)
(I’m just so shocked that a millennial would take offense to anything…)
LINK: https://tinyurl.com/jd8rmx9e
-The Independent, NYPost
HOT NEW TREATMENT FOR DEPRESSION:
A study may have found the key to fighting depression and anxiety – a long, hot bubble bath. I’m sure you’d agree that there’s nothing more relaxing than a soak after a tiresome day. Now, a study carried out at the Society of Biological Psychiatry in Atlanta found that dips in hot water at temperatures of 39-40°C (102-104°F) could help to boost the mood of those with depression, anxiety and fever — and it works better than antidepressants. After test participants cooled down, researchers found that 60% responded to the treatment, with 40% feeling less depressed after just a single session.
(I don’t want to sound flippant, but that water’s so hot that I’d be a lot happier to get out, too!)
(Wouldn’t your stress levels go way down too, if you were bathing in front of a bunch of strangers, and then it was finally over?)
(I know my wife says she’d be a lot happier if I got her a hot-tub…)
-CountryLiving
FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK ABOUT MARRIAGE:
⇒ I’m not accusing my wife of picking a fight with me, but she wrote “toothpaste” on our grocery list without any specific details and we all know how this story ends. – Henpecked Hal
⇒ Asked my husband to bring me my phone and he brought it *with the charger* and I now know the meaning of true love. — AparnaRC
⇒ I keep hearing that my picky eater will eventually grow out of this phase but my husband is 43 now and I’m starting to lose hope – Maryfairyboberry
⇒ Marriage is all about looking busier than your spouse so that they have to do the chore instead of you. – karanbir singh
⇒ My husband told me to dress nice because he was going to take me somewhere really expensive. I swear to God, if it’s the Lowe’s lumber aisle, it’s over. – SarcasticMommy
⇒ Wife [walking into room]: OMG HAVE YOU BEEN FARTING IN HERE?! Me: I feel like you already know the answer to this. – Rodney Lacroix
-HuffPost
DID YOU KNOW?
More than 75% of people want theaters to tell us the actual time that movies start. With many cinemas opening up again these days, the vast majority of people would like to see this ‘fresh start’ bring ‘actual’ start times along with it, rather than movie houses posting the time that pre-movie ads and trailers start rolling. The LADBible poll of more than 7,300 Brits was sparked by a tweet from MoneySavingExpert founder Martin Lewis in 2019, who called for disclosure of actual movie start times after he sat through more than half an hour of pre-film ads. (I have enough trouble showing up on time as it is!)
-BroBible
BS CHRONOMETER 05.20.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [75] Cher (Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPierre), El Centro CA, pop singer (‘Believe’, Sonny & Cher-‘I Got You Babe’)/movie actress (Oscar-“Moonstruck”)
1949 [72] Dave Thomas, St. Catharines ON, TV actor-comedian (“SCTV” 1976-82, ‘Russell Norton’ on “Grace Under Fire” 1993-98)/movie actor (“Strange Brew”)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2002)/brother of Ian Thomas
1958 [63] Jane Wiedlin, Oconomowoc WI, pop guitarist-singer (The Go-Go’s-‘We Got the Beat’, solo artist-‘Rush Hour’)
1959 [62] Bronson Pinchot, New York City NY, TV actor (‘Balki’ on “Perfect Strangers” 1986-1993)
1960 [61] Tony Goldwyn, Los Angeles CA, TV actor (‘Fitzgerald Grant’ on “Scandal” 2012-18, “Chambers” 2019)/movie actor “Ghost” COMING UP…”King Richard”, 2021
1968 [53] Timothy Olyphant, Honolulu HI, TV actor (‘Raylan Givens’ on “Justified” 2010-15, “Santa Clarita Diet” 2017-19) COMING UP…The Starling”, 2021
1972 [49] Busta Rhymes (Trevor Smith Jr), Brooklyn NY, rapper (‘Woo Hah!! Got You All in Check’, Pussycat Dolls f/Busta Rhymes –‘Don’t Cha’)
1992 [29] Jack Gleeson, Cork Ireland, TV actor (‘Joffrey Baratheon’ on “Game of Thrones” 2011-2014)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Be a Millionaire Day”, a celebration of the joys of achieving millionaire status. Here’s how you go about it: First, get a whole bunch of money …
• “Eliza Doolittle Day”, a day named in honor of the lead character in the famous musical “My Fair Lady”. The occasion is inspired by the lyrics: “Next week on the 20th of May/I proclaim Eliza Doolittle Day”. Participants are encouraged to mark the day by making proper use of language.
• “Pick Strawberries Day”, which sounds like lots of fun until you get down in the dirt on hands & knees with sweat trickling down your forehead and spiders crawling up your arms…
• “Weights & Measures Day”, marking an 1875 treaty that established the International Bureau of Weights & Measures. That means you’re just as fat in Pago Pago as you are here at home.
• “World Bee Day”, to raise awareness of the importance of pollinators, the threats they face and their contribution to sustainable development. LINK: https://www.un.org/en/observances/bee-day
• “Flower Day”, some flowers are associated with certain meanings. For example, red roses are associated with love, poppies with consolation after death, iris and lilies with burial, and daisies with innocence. (And lilacs with bathroom air freshener?)
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] NASCAR Day
[Fri] American Red Cross Founder’s Day
[Sat] Canadian Immigrants Day
[Sat] Harvey Milk Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [18] The reality series “America’s Next Top Model”, created by Tyra Banks, debuts on UPN
2015 [06] After 33 years, David Letterman hosts the “Late Show with David Letterman” for the last time
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2012 [09] Robin Gibb of Bee Gees dies from colorectal cancer-related kidney and liver failure at age 62
2013 [08] Ray Manzarek (keyboardist for The Doors) dies at age 74 in Germany, while receiving treatment for bile duct cancer
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1873 [148] Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis patent the first blue jeans with copper rivets
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ From the age of thirty, humans gradually begin to shrink in size.
✓ Your hair grows faster in the morning than at any other time of day.
✓ Walruses have inflatable air sacs under their throats so they can stay afloat during naps.
✓ Facebook designers originally planned to call the “Like” button the “Awesome” button.
✓ If your view is unobstructed, you can see about 2,500 stars in the night sky.
✓ There are approximately 3,500 astronomers in the U.S. – but over 15,000 astrologers.
-RandomFactGenerator, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
REAL, REALLY RIDICULOUS NAMES:
⇒ Jan Sandwich
⇒ Malcolm Powder
⇒ Olive Gardner
⇒ Robin Killam
⇒ Macon Bacon
⇒ Bob Sleigh
⇒ Paige Turner
⇒ Wayne Kerr
⇒ Pam Flett
⇒ Dr. C. Wong (he’s an optometrist)
(What real, ridiculous name have you heard of?)
-Wimp, first published in BS in 2021
MAY 2-4 WEEKEND CAMPING TIPS:
• The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
• You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several Canada geese.
• You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with car.
• A potato baked in the coals for 1 hour makes an excellent meal. A potato baked in the coals for 3 hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
• You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on north side of your compass.
• ‘Sleeping under the stars’ may involve trespassing on Megan Fox’s property.
• A lot of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
• In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle snoring tent-mate.
-First published in BS in 2000
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ A study claims that by adding green plants into the workplace, employee satisfaction and productivity increases by up to 15%. (ADDING green plants…not smoking green plants. Got it, Luke?)
➠ Yesterday was #NationalSendANudeDay, where people send nude pics of themselves via text or DM. (Or, as the Kardashians call it: Wednesday.)
➠ Experts say health foods could actually contribute to the obesity epidemic because we eat more of it. (So I guess 20 McNuggets and a DIET Coke isn’t the nutritional elixir I was led to believe?)
➠ Happy Birthday to Cher, who is 75 years old today. ( . . . well, about 45% of her is…)
➠ Did you know: Some cats are allergic to humans. (So THAT explains it!!!)
BS PHONE STARTER:
What word do you find just plain funny? (Shenanigans? Bamboozle? Canoodle? Underpants?)
BS WEB GOODIE:
The are probably more constructive things you could do with your time: https://tinyurl.com/x5mm8dr9
BS RANDOM JOKE:
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known; then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: THIS happens about 75 times a year in the average household. What is it?
Answer: A remote control is lost
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
