Wednesday, November 9, 2005        Edition: #3155
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the Country Music Association donates an archive of the “CMA Awards” from 1968 to present to the Museum of Television & Radio in NYC (part of the ramp-up to the 39th awards ceremony at Madison Square Garden TUESDAY) . . . TONIGHT Pam Anderson’s FOX-TV sitcom “Stacked” returns for a 2nd season, with real-life former fiancé Kid Rock guesting as a delivery man (this show’s only returning for a pair of reasons) . . . While we’re caught up in the antics of “Survivor: Guatemala”, shooting on the next season has begun and for the 3rd time the show is being filmed in Panama – in fact on the exact same islands used for “Survivor: All-Stars” (there’s speculation producer/creator Mark Burnett has actually bought one for ongoing use) . . . Former 219-lb “Fat Actress” Kirstie Alley says she’s now dropped 55 lbs, thanks to dieting and a whole lot of dancing (the downstairs neighbors must be really steamed by now!) . . . Stand-up comedian & former sitcom star Margaret Cho has also shed a ton (at least 50 lbs) by belly dancing 2 hours-a-day (she now shakes it like a Polaroid while performing twice a month at North-African-themed Hollywood restaurants) . . . “In Her Shoes” actress Cameron Diaz admits she loves shoes so much, she likes to take them out of the box and – stroke them (if she gets any kinkier, she’ll qualify to be a Carolina Panthers cheerleader) . . . On the press tour for the Johnny Cash biopic, “Walk the Line”, star Joaquin Phoenix has apparently neared meltdown status (again), recently asking an interviewer, “Do I have a large frog in my hair?” (while his eyes bugged out even further than usual).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Diddy – Word has it he’s spent $350,000 customizing his latest ride, a Chevy Express 3500 van, which he plans to use as a mobile office. The souped-up bling-bus includes a leather couch, wine chiller, monogrammed wood floor, and no less than 6 TVs. MSRP of the van: circa $30,000.
• Hilary Duff – TONIGHT she guests on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• John Lennon – For the first time, his solo work is being made available for digital download. The retrospective “Working Class Hero” is out THIS WEEK and the rest of his material will become available DECEMBER 5th.
• Kanye West – TODAY he co-hosts “Much On Demand” @ 5 pm ET on MuchMusic.
• LeAnn Rimes – TODAY she appears on “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Neil Diamond – TODAY he’s on ABC-TV’s “The View”.
• Pharrell Williams – He owns one of only 399 black Ferrari sports cars in the world, which cost him a cool $1 million.
• Rihanna – The “Pon De Replay” singer says she wants to act. Her first role? A cameo in the upcoming movie “Bring It On, Bring It On, Bring It On Again!”, in which cheerleaders compete to appear in a fictional Rihanna TV special. She plays – what else? – herself.
• Switchfoot – TONIGHT they do ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.     
    
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Get Rich or Die Tryin’” (Musical Drama): In the vein of the semi-autobiographical Eminem film “8 Mile”, 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson) stars in this story of an inner city drug dealer-turned-rapper. It’s already drawn fire for its billboards & posters depicting guns. Partially filmed in Toronto.
NET: http://www.getrichordietryinmovie.com/home.html

SNOW IN LONDON TOWN:
So much cocaine is being used in London, England that traces of the drug can be detected in the River Thames. An estimated 2 kilos (4.4 lbs) of coke, or 80,000 lines, spill into the river each day after passing through users’ bodies and sewage-treatment plants. (No wonder Kate Moss used to swim in the Thames.)
– Agence France-Presse

TWO SCENTS WORTH:
A recent study finds that things can smell differently depending on – which nostril you use. It’s apparently because air flow varies on each side of the nose. (Either way, [co-host] still stinks!)
– The journal “Nature”.

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Bot Net’ – A network of hijacked computers that’s used to send massive amounts of spam. The ‘bots are enslaved through a program that can surreptitiously install itself on any online computer. A 20-year-old California man has been arrested in the first prosecution for operating what’s also known as a ‘zombie army’.
• ‘L-RAD’ (‘Long Range Acoustic Device’) – A sonic weapon that blasts earsplitting noise in a directed beam. The luxury cruise ship “Seabourn Spirit” used one to ward off pirates when it was attacked off Africa LAST WEEKEND.
• ‘Tailored TV’ – Comcast & DirecTV customers will soon be able to pay 99 cents to watch certain TV shows (ie: “CSI”, “Survivor”, “Amazing Race”) on demand and commercial-free. Media observers say it’s another step on the road to ‘personalized television’.

PSEUDO-SUGAR FIX:
Here’s good news if you have a sweet tooth. A cooperative study between scientists at the University of Manchester & the University of Maryland has made a major advance in understanding what makes a substance taste sweet. The discovery could help pave the way for the development of lo-cal sweeteners that mimic natural sugar but leave no bitter aftertaste. (How ‘bout honey?)
– ANI Health & Science

DID YOU KNOW?
• Nigeria is the world’s happiest country, followed by Mexico.
• Most of what we see of each other is dead … hair, skin, toe nails, etc.

VANITY, VANITY:
More Americans in their 20s and 30s are taking the Botox plunge, not waiting until wrinkles set in. In 2001, 26% of people who had Botox treatments fell in the 20-39 age range. Three years later, 33.7% of those who had Botox were in that group. People are starting to get smarter claims Dr Michele Finley, medical director of Raphael’s, a self-described ‘Advanced Medical Rejuvenation Institute’ in Carmel CA. (Smile while you still can, folks!)
– “Indianapolis Star”

REACH FOR THE STARZ:
THIS SATURDAY a documentary showing the ashes of gonzo journalist Hunter S Thompson blasted into the sky from a 15-story cannon will premiere at Colorado’s 28th “Starz Denver International Film Festival”. “When I Die” follows the construction of the gun and his unorthodox send-off at a closed memorial service on his Woody Creek property in AUGUST, which cost some $2.6 million. The bill was footed by Johnny Depp, who portrayed Thompson in the movie “Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas”. Thompson shot himself FEBRUARY 20th, at the age of 67.
– BBC News
NET: http://www.denverfilm.org

GOOD LOOKING GUYS GET MORE VOTES:
Male political candidates who are handsome have a greater chance of winning an election, compared with their less good-looking competitors, according to new research from the University of Texas. Those who are considered handsome have a 56% chance of winning on election day, compared with a 44% chance of success for less attractive candidates. (Well, this certainly shows how lucky Jean Chrétien was, doesn’t it?)
– Reuters

BEWARE OF BIKING BALLS:
Biker beware! A new study from Boston University finds that traditional bicycle saddles – the kind that have a pointed nose and a narrow end – definitely play a role in sexual impotence and/or loss of libido. (The good news is, it only affects men.)
– “NY Times”

THE BULL SHEET 11.09.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [57] Robert David Hall, East Orange NJ, TV actor (Medical Examiner ‘Dr Al Robbins’ on “CSI” since 2000)  FACTOID: He uses prosthetics due to amputation of both legs following an auto accident in 1978.

1969 [36] Pepa (Sandra Denton), Queens NY, hip-hop artist (Salt-N-Pepa-“Push It”, “Shoop”)

1973 [32] Nick Lachey, Harlan KY, TV personality (“Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica” 2003-05)/former pop singer (98 Degrees-“I Do Cherish You”)/Mr Jessica Simpson (2002-????)

1978 [27] Sisqo (Mark Andrews), Baltimore MD, hip-hop artist (“Thong Song”, Dru Hill-“These Are The Times”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Ride ‘em cowboy! The annual “Canadian Finals Rodeo” comes out of the chute TODAY in Edmonton and continues through Sunday.
NET: http://www.canadianfinalsrodeo.ca

TODAY is “Chaos Never Dies Day” … the reason there are 24-hour news channels.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1967 [38] “Rolling Stone” magazine debuts with John Lennon pictured on the cover & a free ‘roach clip’ attached

1990 [15] Kevin Costner’s Oscar-winning “Dances With Wolves” opens in theaters (wasn’t that his last hit?)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1907 [98] 1st game for ‘Edmonton Rugby Foot-ball Club’ (forerunner of Eskimos) as team loses to ‘Calgary City Rugby Foot-ball Club’ (forerunner of Stampeders) 26-5

1911 [94] Frenchman Georges Claude patents the ‘Neon Sign’ after experimenting with passing an electrical charge through gas (Las Vegas is glad he did!)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Remembrance Day
[Sat] 2005 Vibe Awards (LA)
[Mon] Operating Room Nurse Day
[Tues] 39th CMA Awards (NYC)
[Tues] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Tues] Mix It Up at Lunch Day
This Week Is . . . Animal Shelter Appreciation Week
This Month Is . . . Cozy Cuddles for Kids Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
HOW DUMB ARE THEY?
• She has a brain like a BB in a boxcar.
• So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.
• So dumb, his dog teaches him tricks.
• He’s blocked one too many hockey pucks.
• Strong like bull, smart like streetcar.
• She suffers from ‘Clue Deficit Disorder’.
• The crowd’s cheering but there’s no team on the field.
• Only uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck.
• She uses thumbtacks to post notes – on the fridge.
• Has to use 2 hands to eat with chopsticks.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Is TV sports coverage getting too junked up with useless graphics?

CRAZY CANINE CROSSES:
• If you cross a Pointer and a Setter you get a ‘Poinsetter’, a traditional Christmas pet.
• A Bloodhound and a Labrador – ‘Blabador’, a dog that barks incessantly.
• A Pekinese and a Lhasa Apso – ‘Peekasso’, an abstract dog.
• A Collie and Malamute – ‘Commute’, a dog that travels well.
• A Deerhound and a Terrier – ‘Derriere’, a dog that’s a pain in the butt.
• A Labrador and a Curly-Coated Retriever – A ‘Lab Coat Retriever’, a favorite of scientists.
• A Collie and a Lhaso Apso – ‘Collapso’, a dog that folds up for easy transport.
• A Bloodhound and Borzoi – ‘Bloody Bore’, a dog that’s just not much fun.
– Canine Crossbreeders Association

TRUTH OR BS?
• 68% of shoplifted toys are taken by men. [TRUE, but 68% of shoplifted clothing is stolen by women.]
• If you’re a guy and your father wore boxers, odds are you do too. [BS. Actually the opposite is true. Just 24% of men wear the same style of underwear as their pops.]
• Lions often mate up to 50 times a day. [TRUE. No wonder Detroit keeps losing!]
• PMS causes women to lose their memory. [BS. University of Texas research shows that women suffering PMS actually experience better brain activity, with greater memory and awareness of their surroundings.]
• Elevators in Singapore are equipped with ‘Urine Detectors’. [TRUE. And when they detect it, they automatically lock the elevator doors and initiate a recording by a hidden video camera for  evidence in court.]

BS BLATANT JOKE:
A man on his deathbed asks his wife if she’ll grant his last request. “Of course,” she replies. “What is it?” “Six months after I die,” he says, “I want you to marry Ray.” “But I thought you hated him,” she says. With his last breath, the husband says, “Oh I do, I do!”

ARE THESE ACTIONS AX-WORTHY?
A poll of executives ranks the following office gaffs as either ‘forgivable’ or ‘fireable’. See if you agree …
• Frequently late for work. [Fireable]
• Surfing the Internet. [Forgivable]
• Frequent personal phone calls. [Fireable]
• Sending jokes via e-mail. [Forgivable]
• Dating a co-worker. [Forgivable]
• Drinking too much at a company event. [Forgivable]
• Taking frequent sick days. [Fireable]
• Frequent long lunches. [Fireable]
• Gossiping. [Forgivable]
– “Glamour”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: It takes about a day to make one of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A car. (General Motors)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar; never spread it around like marmalade.