Monday, November 7, 2005 Edition: #3153
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!
WEEKEND TABLOID BS:
• 25-year-old Backstreet Boy Nick Carter is set to wed Chinese actress Bai Ling just a year after splitting with Paris Hilton. Ling says they are deeply in love and seriously considering marriage in the near future. Despite being 10 years his senior, she insists they are both ready to commit to a lifelong relationship. In Hollywood, that’s about a month.
– “Teen Hollywood”
• 18-year-old Scottish actress Katie Leung will become the first to share an on-screen kiss with ‘Harry Potter’, played by 16-year-old Daniel Radcliffe, in the upcoming movie version of “Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire”. But the actress, who plays the role of ‘Cho Chang’, says she’d never go for him in real life – he’s too young for her.
– “News of the World”
• Michael Jackson is said to finally be close to finishing his charity single for hurricane relief. He’s working from his Middle Eastern base using global satellite and phone connections with the 12 recording artists who said to be participating. Among them are Snoop Dogg and R Kelly. All that remains is for 2 or 3 more artists to do their tracks, and Michael will then add his vocals. Better hurry if he wants to get the finished product out before next hurricane season!
• Mr Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, has finally gotten his hip-hop career launched. A track has been posted online by Disco D, the producer of his upcoming album, “The Truth”. In the track “Y’all Ain’t Ready”, he actually manages to make a rhyme: “Back then they called me K-Fed, but you can call me Daddy instead”. Whoa, get out the Grammys!
– “Star Magazine”
• 25-year-old “Lost” star Evangeline Lilly has been snapped all over Hawaii (where the show is shot) cuddling up with co-star Dominic Monaghan. She denies having a romance but her 24-year-old hubby Murray Hone back home in Coquitlam BC can’t be happy. Seems he’s the one who worked odd jobs to support her acting dream and urged her to stick with it when she considered quitting. But once she hit the jackpot with a role on “Lost”, she dumped him!
– “National Enquirer”
• Pamela Anderson has apparently persuaded Mercedes-Benz to start manufacturing vehicles without leather furnishings. Her letter to the automaker on PETA letterhead suggested she’d love to drive one of their cars but hated the idea of sitting on leather, quote: “Nowadays, people see leather less as a luxury and more as smelly, dead skin.” Seems somebody read it because Mercedes has informed PETA that future models will be available with an entirely leather-free option. Perhaps they’ll use vinyl made from environmentally-friendly oil?
– “The Sun”
• There are now dueling versions of why movie star George Clooney was involved in a back alley scuffle in London, England after leaving the after-party for the UK premiere of his movie “Good Night, and Good Luck”. A London paper reports the tussle was with a security guard who refused to help Clooney get past paparazzi into his waiting car. Clooney’s rep, on the other hand, says the argument was over defending a woman’s honor and no punches were thrown. The truth is likely somewhere else totally unexplored.
– “E!” / “Evening Standard” / “People”
• Will Leonardo DiCaprio be the next George Clooney? A source says the 30-year-old movie star is trying to pull together partners to build a ‘hip, young & cool’ hotel/casino in Las Vegas, just like George. It makes sense: Leo loves Vegas and gambling, so why not make some money instead of constantly losing it?
– “Star Magazine”
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ashlee Simpson – TV show “eTalk Daily” has aired embarrassing footage of her climbing onto a McDonald’s counter in Toronto, then calling the cashier who asked her to get down a ‘bitch’. She also refuses to a photo op with a fan after he declines to ‘kiss her foot’. Word has it she’d been fueling up beforehand at a bar in the posh Four Seasons Hotel.
• Coldplay – Will Champion reveals they’re battling to keep it together amid growing rifts within the band. What’s the prob? Bad tempers, big egos and a grueling “X&Y” tour schedule.
• 50 Cent – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Keith Urban – TONIGHT he guests on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• James Blunt – The “You’re Beautiful” singer says he’s excited about recording a duet with U2’s Bono, a project they agreed to while partying in a nightclub. Wonder if Bono remembers?
• Madonna – TONIGHT her new single “Hung Up” will play ‘at a pivotal moment’ on “CSI: Miami” and again in a follow-up “CSI: New York” on WEDNESDAY. Producers have reportedly paid her a fee. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
• Mindy McCready – She says she still loves the man charged with nearly beating her to death, even though her 2 suicide attempts were the result of their embattled relationship.
• Natalie Cole – At the Waldorf in NYC she sang “Unforgettable” at a recent charity benefit … for Alzheimer’s!
• Paul McCartney – “Rolling Stone” reports that Yoko Ono has apologized to him for insinuating that his songs are simple and trite. Boring, perhaps, but not so simple.
• Toby Keith – Shooting has begun in Atlanta on his first feature film, “Angel From Montgomery”, about a once-famous country singer who reunites with his true love and meets his 16-year-old daughter for the first time. Burt Reynolds, Kelly Preston & Willie Nelson co-star.
• Vanessa Carlton – YESTERDAY she ran in the NYC Marathon both as a personal challenge and to raise money for the charity “Musicians on Call”, which brings musical artists to cancer patients.
YOU’LL WISH YOU COULD GET YOUR MONEY BACK:
If you wish your wishes would come true, look no further. A mere $499.95 will buy you the ‘Psychotronic Wishing Machine’. According to a company called Life Technology Research International, which appears to be serious about separating fools from their money, the gizmo uses technology called ‘Radionics’ to make your dreams come true through ‘conscious human interaction with subtle energy fields’. Simply tell this machine what you want, then leave it on until your wish comes true. (Or, to save time, just flush 500 bucks down the old porcelain receptacle.)
– “Curious Times”
Ever wondered how much your neighbors earn? If you’re Norwegian, the answer is only a mouse click away. Each year, the Norwegian Inland Revenue throws up a Website which shows last year’s income and the tax paid on it, for almost everyone in the country. (What a great resource for Girl Guides selling cookies!)
– “The Guardian”
FUTURE HORROR FLICK?
Scientists at the State University of New York have implanted electrodes into the brains of rats in order to control their movements. Each time one of these rats gets a command to move left, right or forward, it simultaneously receives a jolt to the part of its brain which delivers the pleasure chemical dopamine into its system, making the rat happily follow the commands. Head researcher John Chapin believes these rats may be used in the future as explosive-sniffers which are cheaper and easier to handle than dogs, or in search-and-rescue missions where they could crawl under piles of debris to look for survivors of terrorist attacks or natural disasters. (Not to mention terrific potential for playing practical jokes on sisters.)
– “Times Union”
DID YOU KNOW?
According to a survey by the National Confectioners Association, 9 out of 10 parents admit to stealing their children’s Halloween candy. So where’s your kid’s hidden?
An Internet site has put filmmaker Vincent Gallo’s sperm up for sale. The ‘official website for Vincent Gallo merchandise’ says that for $1 million a woman can be inseminated by “The Brown Bunny” director via in vitro fertilization, and for an extra $500,000 he will even do it the natural way. But that fee will be waived if he deems the woman attractive enough. BTW, buying Mr Gallo’s sperm does not include the use of the name ‘Gallo’. (Wow, we can imagine the line-ups are already forming.)
WAR IS SO 20TH CENTURY:
A study released by the United Nations reveals that global violence has actually been declining over the past few decades. Hard to believe considering the current fiasco in Iraq, but the new stats show that there are now 40% fewer political conflicts than at the end of the Cold War. And the average number of deaths per conflict was 600 in 2002, down from 37,000 in 1950. LAST YEAR’s 25 civil conflicts worldwide was the lowest number since 1976.
BS BODY FACTS:
• Every human being once spent about half an hour as a single cell. (And it seems some never grow up.)
• A resting human gives off as much heat as a 150-watt light bulb. (A pissed-off wife 400 watts!)
• Genuine emotion is always expressed with the entire body. When uncertain of a person’s sincerity, watch their shoulders. You should doubt anyone who is speaking with strong emotion and relaxed shoulders. (For instance, a used car sales rep.)
• It takes about an hour for the human eye to become adjusted for good night vision. (Meaning you can get in 60 good minutes of sex before your partner sees your flabby thighs.)
• You blink every 2 to 10 seconds, so you have your eyes shut about 30 minutes every waking day. (More if you’re a civil servant.)
– “Freaky Facts About the Human Body”
HE SAID IT:
“Kneel down before the Governor General? Never!”
– 77-year-old Québec singer-songwriter Raymond Levesque while accepting a cheque for $33,000 raised by a group of prominent sovereignists. He turned down a 2005 Governor General’s Performing Arts Award worth $15,000 – so now he’s up 18 grand.
THE BULL SHEET 11.07.2K5
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1918  (William Franklin) Billy Graham, Charlotte NC, evangelist who’s preached to more people in live audiences than anyone else in history – over 210 million in more than 185 countries & territories
1942  Johnny Rivers (John Ramistella), NYC, oldies singer (“Poor Side of Town”, “Baby I Need Your Lovin”)
1943  Joni Mitchell (Roberta Anderson), Fort McLeod AB, pop/folk singer/songwriter (“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Both Sides Now”)/ Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1981)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1997)/Canadian Walk of Fame (2000)/Companion of the Order of Canada (2002)/Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award (2002)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[UN] World Community Day
[USA] National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day
[USA] National Notary Public Day
TODAY is the 10th annual “PMS Stress Day”, originally founded in 1995. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If not, get the hell out of the way!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1980  Movie actor Steve McQueen (“The Great Escape”, “Bullitt”) dies of cancer at age 50 in Juarez, Mexico
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2000  Creed’s “With Arms Wide Open” hits #1
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1885  Canadian Pacific Railway, Canada’s first transcontinental railroad, is completed as the ‘Last Spike’ is driven at Craigellachie BC
2000  Hillary Rodham Clinton is elected Senator for NY, the 1st wife of a US President to be elected to public office
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1982  1st pro QB to pass for 5,000 yds in a single football season (Warren Moon-Edmonton Eskimos)
1944  Franklin Delano Roosevelt is elected to an unprecedented 4th term as US President
1975  John Anderson of Los Angeles plays guitar non-stop for record 114 hours, 17 minutes
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Dunce Day
[Tues] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Tues] Parents As Teachers Day
[Wed-Nov 13] Canadian Finals Rodeo (Edmonton)
[Fri] Remembrance Day
[Fri] Veterans Day
[Sat] 2005 Vibe Awards (LA)
THIS WEEK IS . . .
American Education Week / Dear Santa Letter Week / World Kindness Week / Animal Shelter Appreciation Week / Pursuit of Happiness Week / International Week of Science & Peace / Key Club International Week / Chemistry Week / Children’s Book Week / Eating Disorders Week / Split Pea Soup Week / Radiologic Technologists Week
BULL’S BITS . . .
40 years ago TODAY the ad huckster ‘Pillsbury Doughboy’ (aka Poppin’ Fresh) was introduced as he popped out of his 1st can of Pillsbury refrigerated dough in a commercial for crescent rolls. Within 3 years, 87% of the population could recognize his name & likeness. Here are some other …
LITTLE KNOWN BS FACTS ABOUT POPPIN’ FRESH:
• Hasn’t been ‘anatomically correct’ since that accident with the pastry knife.
• He sometimes feels un-kneaded.
• He’s always been an early riser.
• Once suffered from a yeast infection.
• Before rehab he was known as the ‘Doughbury Pillsboy’.
• Secretly likes to bake-off when no one is around.
Doughboy SFX here …
BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What accent do you think is the absolute sexiest?
• What do you lose the most often and where do you most often find things again?
BS ‘HI-LO GAME’:
• Smokers who break a leg require 15% more time to heal. High or low? (Low. Actually an average of 62% more.)
• Snails can zoom along at 2 mph. (High. An average snail has a speed of .005 mph.)
• When you sneeze, air travels from your nose at about 250 mph. (High. Sneezes travel at circa 100 mph.)
• Cats reach their senior years at age 9. (Low. The golden years for felines begin at age 7, according to Hill’s Pet Nutrition. One of the signs – being less responsive when called.)
• There are 10 bones in the human skull. (Low. There are actually 22.)
• Campbell’s ‘Alphabet Soup’ contains 3 times more ‘E’s than ‘Q’s. (High. Campbell’s says it contains an equal number of all letters of the alphabet – but then who’s gonna check?)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS is the #1 occupation for a woman who is married to a millionaire.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Teacher. (“The Millionaire Next Door”)
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
THANKS FOR BEING A BULL MARKET!
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