Monday, November 10, 2003        Edition: #2662
Here’s More Bull Roar!

“WEEKLY WORLD NEWS” HEADLINES:
• “Bizarre New Invention: Litter Boxes for Humans!”
• “Scientists Creating Evil Superbrain to Dominate World!”
• “Bush & Putin in Conspiracy to Cover Up UFO Existence!”
• “Animals Worldwide Go Berserk!”
• “Dining on Human Flesh Is All the Rage in France!”
• “Noah’s Ark Found in North Korea!”
• “Ass Milk Turns Women Into Wild Sex Kittens!”

TRASHY TABLOID BS:
• “NY Daily News” says a ‘tearful’ Paris Hilton has been calling her parents from Australia, frantic about the possible release of that amateur porn flick she made 3 years ago with ex-boyfriend Rick Solomon. Her parents, Rick & Kathy Hilton, have reportedly suggested she stay Down Under until the whole thing blows over. Meantime, it seems that, if nothing else, the tape will end up making a lot of lawyers wealthy – the elder Hiltons are threatening a lawsuit if the video is released by Seattle-based Internet pornographer Roger Vadocz, who hopes to sell the tape for $29.95 at www.sexbrat.com. And Solomon’s lawyer says he may bring action against Paris for her – quote – defamatory statements that Solomon took advantage of her when she was ‘incapacitated’.
• She blamed it on the flu, but “News of the World” says Britney Spears pulled out of the weekend’s “MTV Europe Awards” after she was ditched by dancer Columbus Short. The tab claims that after he went back to his pregnant wife in California, Britney quickly headed home to her mom in Louisiana. A source close to Britney tells the tab, “She’s having a tough time. She’s been drinking heavily, which hasn’t helped things.”
• “Globe” magazine reports that 37-year-old David Schwimmer is poised to become the next “Friends” star to wed. The actor reportedly proposed to girlfriend Carla Alapont and they’re now secretly putting their wedding plans together.
• “Daily Dish” says “In the Cut” star Meg Ryan stunned fellow 1st-class passengers on an 11-hour flight from London to LA LAST WEEK by doing sit-ups and push-ups – in the aisle. A fellow passenger says, “She was full of energy and could barely sit during the trip.”
• “Now” magazine reports that Madonna is planning to adopt a baby girl by NEXT SPRING, in order to give her daughter Lourdes and son Rocco a new sibling. Word has it she’s blaming the fertility problems she and husband Guy Ritchie have experienced on her extreme exercise regime that’s playing havoc with her body.
• “Hollywood Reporter” says a new version of “The Partridge Family” is being hatched at VH1, with a bit of a twist – a reality series will follow the casting of new ‘Partridge Family’ members. The “Reporter” also notes that CBS-TV has signed a pilot deal with 16-year-old “Lizzie McGuire” star Hilary Duff, most likely to be a domestic comedy. Meantime, “E! Online” reports that “Newlyweds” star Jessica Simpson has been tapped to develop a new sitcom for ABC-TV. Her father, Joe Simpson, will serve as co-executive producer on the project.
• “NY Daily News” says Shania Twain & hubby Mutt Lange have just bought a secret hideaway on Mustique, the tony private Caribbean island with just 85 mansions on it, owned by the likes of Mick Jagger and Tommy Hilfiger. Shania’s new hovel is said to be a secluded 5-bedroom estate on which the living room floats atop an ‘infinity pool’, where the water’s edge appears to pour into the sea. The tab also claims the ultra-private Langes are devotees of ‘Sant Mat’, a strain of Sikh mysticism that requires hours of daily meditation and abstention from alcohol, meat and sex – other than to procreate.

IN A WORD:
Webster’s Dictionary has added the term “McJob”, defined as ’low paying and dead-end work’. McDonald’s CEO Jim Cantalupo says the term is a ‘slap in the face’ to the 12 million men and women who work in the fast-food restaurant industry.

QUEER EYE FOR THE BIG BROTHER:
Men with older brothers are more likely to be gay a new study shows. Each big brother a man has increases his chances of being homosexual by a whopping 33%, psychologist Dr Ray Blanchard of the Centre for Addiction & Mental Health in Toronto tells “New Scientist” magazine. Dr Blanchard says he doesn’t know why men with older brothers are more likely to be gay, but changes that occur in a mother’s womb each time she carries a son may affect the development of subsequent babies.

WHEN DO YOU PUT OUT?
A “Mademoiselle” magazine poll asks “After how many dates is it OK to have sex?”  Most women (55%) say 6 or more, while most men said 4 or less. (Guess there’s a lot of interesting discussions on 5th dates.)

SHOPPING NEWS:
• In a one-off promotion to create some publicity buzz, Paris department store Galeries Lafayette is offering free – striptease lessons. The store has hired 2 professional pole dancers to provide expert advice. “It’s about learning to undress yourself in an elegant way,” says store spokeswoman Constance Dubois.
• Researchers at the University of Munster in Germany say female shoppers lose the ability to think straight when shopping. When they measured the electrical activity in the part of the brain which deals with common sense and rational thought, they discovered the area governing emotions and pleasant feelings was in overdrive. The scientists also found men experience a similar loss of control when offered the chance to buy electrical gadgets, fast cars or computer games.

PERFECT PIXEL PIN-UP:
THIS WEEK the “Miss Digital World” competition begins, a quest to find the ultimate computer-generated woman. It’s a chance for designers and programmers to win a virtual beauty contest by sending their computer-generated e-Babes down the online catwalk. It’s being billed as the search for a contemporary ideal of beauty. Each rendition of the ‘ideal woman’ must include date of birth and body measurements. Organizer Franz Cerami of Milan, Italy says the winner will be crowned at a conference next year.
NET: http://www.missdigitalworld.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• More than 8 million DVD copies of “Finding Nemo” were sold on its first day last TUESDAY, breaking the record of 7 million set by last year’s “Spider-Man”.
• “The Matrix Revolutions“ took in over $43 million at the box office worldwide on its first day WEDNESDAY.

THE BULL SHEET 11.10.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [59] Sir Tim Rice, Amersham ENG, lyricist who’s worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber (”Jesus Christ Superstar”, “Evita”) and Elton John (“The Lion King”, “Aida”)

1968 [35] Chris Cagle, DeRidder LA, country singer (“Chicks Dig It“, “I Breathe In, I Breathe Out”)

1975 [28] Jim Adkins, VA, rock singer/guitarist (Jimmy Eat World-“The Middle”, “Sweetness”)

1977 [26] Brittany (Sharon) Murphy, Atlanta GA, movie actress (“Just Married”, “8 Mile”, “Girl, Interrupted”) who ranks #32 on “Maxim’s” ‘Hot 100 Women of 2003′

1978 [25] Eve (Jihan Jeffers), Philadelphia PA, rapper (“Satisfaction“, w/Alicia Keys-“Gangsta Lovin”)/TV actress (“Eve”)/movie actress (“Barbershop”, “XXX”)/clothing designer (Fetish By Eve)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Young Readers Day” to encourage kids to hit the books and enjoy the magic of reading.

TODAY is traditionally the beginning of “Indian Summer”, a period of unusually mild weather in the northern USA and parts of Canada.

TONIGHT Tim Robbins hosts the “Johnny Cash Tribute Concert” at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium. Scheduled performers include John Mellencamp, Dwight Yoakam, George Jones, Willie Nelson, Kid Rock, Brooks & Dunn, Kris Kristofferson, Sheryl Crow, Hank Williams Jr, Jack Clement, Rodney Crowell, Marty Stuart, Steve Earle, Larry Gatlin & Roseanne Cash. Cash died SEPTEMBER 12th at age 71 of complications from diabetes.

“2003 Grey Cup” festivities kickoff WEDNESDAY in Regina with the theme ‘Flat-Out in Saskatchewan’. Highlights include a downtown Big Top Party Tent and one of the largest Grey Cup Parades in history.
NET: http://www.greycup2003.com

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1775 [228] US Marine Corps established (Semper Fi, dudes!)

1885 [118] 1st motorcycle (Gottlieb Daimler)

1932 [71] 1st “Hockey Night in Canada” broadcast airs on CBC Radio, with Foster Hewitt doing the play-by-play (Toronto and Boston tie 1-1)

1969 [34] “Sesame Street” debuts on TV
BS “SESAME STREET” QUIZ:
• Which “Sesame Street” characters got their names from James Stewart‘s film classic “It’s a Wonderful Life”? (‘Bert’ & ‘Ernie’, named after ‘Bert’ the cop and ‘Ernie’ the taxi driver in the 1946 film.)
• What is ‘Big Bird’s’ teddy bear called ? (‘Radar’)
• What is ‘Mr Snuffleupagus’s’ first name? (Aloyisius)
• What is ‘Big Bird’s’ address on Sesame Street? (1-2-3)
• What is ‘Ernie’s’ favorite toy? (Rubber Duckie)
• How do you do the ‘Grouch-ka-teer’ salute? (Put your thumb in your ear.)
• What is the ‘Count’s’ full name? (‘Count Von Count’)
• He’s “Sesame Street’s” happy game show host. (‘Guy Smiley’)
• He’s ‘Big Bird’s’ friend who always travels with a trunk. (‘Snuffleupagus’)
• He sang “It’s Not Easy Being Green”. (‘Kermit the Frog’)
• He’s the late, great owner of the corner store. (‘Mr Hooper’)
• What the letters ‘CTW’ stand for on the “Sesame Street” sign. (Children’s Television Workshop)

1983 [20] Microsoft unveils the 1st “Windows” operating system (and the 1st ‘general protection fault’ and ‘illegal operation’ error messages)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1991 [12] Fastest ‘backwards marathon’ (4 hrs, 15 secs)

1996 [07] Miami Dolphin Dan Marino becomes 1st NFL QB to pass for 50,000 career yards and the 1st to reach 4,000 completions

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Remembrance Day
[Fri] Operating Room Nurse Day
[Fri] “Master and Commander: Far Side of the World” opens
[Sat] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Sun] 91st Grey Cup (Regina)
[Sun] 31st American Music Awards

THIS WEEK IS . . .
UN International Week of Science & Peace
Key Club International Week
National Chemistry Week
Eating Disorders Week
Split Pea Soup Week
World Mutual Services Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS QUICK-PICK QUIZ:
• When 2 prairie dogs meet for the first time, do they …
a. rub tails
b. kiss [CORRECT]
c. kick each other

• What first appeared in hotel rooms 95 years ago TODAY (1908) …
a. Gideon bibles [CORRECT]
b. little teeny shower soaps
c. vibrating beds

• Which is the only planet in our solar system NOT to appear on a zodiac chart …
a. Pluto
b. Earth [CORRECT]
c. Wyoming

• Where would your average queen bee prefer to mate with a drone …
a. in a flower
b. in the hive
c. in mid-air during flight [CORRECT]

BS PHONE STARTER:
“What historical figure would you most like to go drinking with?”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The #1 memory that adults have of kindergarten is THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The smell of Play-doh.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If at first you don’t succeed … you’re about normal.

WIDE WORLD OF BS:
Welcome to this week’s new BS samplers that include Mike Carter @ WSAY Rocky Mount NC, Elizabeth Sekine @ WNDV South Bend IN, Micah Boxier @ ESPN Alexandria LA, and Katherine Foreman @ CKHC Humber College ON. Pass the word about “BS”. We give you ONE FREE MONTH for each and every new subscriber you refer!