Friday, November 22, 2002        Edition: #2427
BS – The Most Touchdowns in Show Prep!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY advance tickets go on sale for “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, 4 weeks ahead of its DECEMBER 18 opening! . . . TODAY’S “People” magazine names Ben Affleck as its “Sexiest Man Alive 2002″, and its other sexy men for 2002 include George Clooney (‘Sexiest Director’), actor Hugh Grant (‘Sexiest Import’), Enrique Iglesias (‘Sexiest Pop Star’), and US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld (‘Sexiest Cabinet Minister’ – wha’?) . . . TODAY Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs & Alicia Keys, along with several South African artists, are scheduled to perform at MTV’s “HIV/AIDS Awareness Concert” in Cape Town, South Africa which will air on “World AIDS Day” DECEMBER 1ST . . . SUNDAY the estate of late advice columnist Ann Landers goes up for bid in an online auction (including the coin she used to make decisions – hmm, it’s tails: “Dear Devastated, Ditch the bastard!…”) . . . Rumors flying that director Sam Mendes (“American Beauty”) and actress Kate Winslet (“Titanic”) are getting married THIS WEEKEND . . . Word has it Britney Spears made a desperate bid to get Justin Timberlake back in her life, showing up unannounced at his LA home claiming she needed to pick up some of her possessions, then desperately trying to kiss him – but he stopped her (poor Brit’ is said to have left in tears) . . . Meantime, buzz has it Justin’s new girlfriend is actress Alyssa Milano . . . Madonna reportedly had to borrow money in a London restaurant after finding herself short of cash to buy a snack for her son . . . Rumors are circulating in Germany that Michael Jackson is traveling with a double (double what, nose?) . . . And Mariah Carey’s excuse for lip-syncing songs during the promo tour for her new album “Charmbracelet” – she simply can’t sing live if she hasn’t had 12 hours sleep!

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
The ‘James Bond’ spy thriller “Die Another Day” in which ‘Bond’ is compromised by a traitor during a covert operation in North Korea and in the process of tracking the enemy, uncovers a devious plot to take over the world involving a wealthy businessman and a renowned terrorist (sound familiar?). A few facts –
• It’s the 20th ‘Bond’ film in the 40 years of the franchise.
• It cost more than $100 million to make, most ever for a ‘Bond’ film.
• It’s Pierce Brosnan’s 4th ‘Bond’ film and he’s already announced he’ll do a 5th.
• Halle Berry is bikini-clad Bond girl ‘Jinx’, John Cleese takes over as gadget-guy ‘Q’ and, in the words of director Lee Tamahori, Madonna plays a “filthy, lesbian, dominatrix fencing instructor.” Oh, and she also sings the title song.
• Scientists have recently proven that the scriptwriters who killed off ‘Bond’ girl Jill Masterson in the 1964 film “Goldfinger” by covering her in gold paint were wrong. New research shows only 0.4% of the body’s total oxygen needs are met through the skin. So cutting it off completely by covering a body head-to-toe in paint would NOT affect the organs.
ALSO OPENING TODAY:
Ice Cube & Mike Epps star in the comedy “Friday After Next” as cousins who work nights at a mall as security guards . . . Kevin Kline plays a prep-school prof who mentors an unusual student in the drama “The Emperor’s Club”.

007 ISN’T THE ONLY ONE WITH A JINX:
For years it’s been said there’s a “Sports Illustrated” cover jinx, whereby athletes who get their mugs plastered there end up having a bad season, a serious injury or even early retirement. Now sportswriter Dan Lewis claims there’s another jinx for athletes – the ‘Chunky Soup Curse’. LAST WEEKEND Philadelphia Eagles QB Donovan McNabb’s ankle injury made him the latest NFLer to suffer serious injury after appearing in a TV ad for Campbell’s Chunky Soup. Others that have been afflicted include St Louis Rams QB Kurt Warner, Pittsburgh Steelers RB Jerome Bettis and Denver Broncos RB Terrell Davis. So, are these other Chunky Soup hucksters in peril – NY Giants defensive end Michael Strahan and Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher? (Something to think about when you make your pool picks!)

BOVINE POWER:
According to the EPA, the natural gas released by the burps of 10 cows over the course of a year would provide the total heating needs of a modest-sized house. (Trouble is, you’d also need 67 drums of industrial-strength air freshener!)

WORLD’S TOP TUNE?
What a minority the English-speaking world has become! A BBC poll of 116 countries is seeking to find the ‘most popular song on the planet’ and so far, a Tamil song (“Rakkamma Kaiya Thattu”) from a 1991 Indian film is leading the voting, and 2 other Indian songs are in the top 10. Others you might have heard of – Cher’s “Believe” is currently #3, Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” is #8, the Beatles’”Yesterday” #9 and the Eagles’ “Hotel California” is 10th. So far, more than 900 different songs have been chosen. The final results will be published DECEMBER 21st.

WHERE THE HECK ARE WE?
A new study released for “Geography Awareness Week” by “National Geographic” magazine asks 56 geography and current events questions of young people aged 18-24 in 9 countries. A few highlights –
• Topping the scoring was Sweden with an average of 40 correct answers, followed by Germany and Italy with 38 each. Canada finished 7th with 27, and Mexico ranked last with an average score of 21.
• 30% of all people surveyed could not locate the Pacific Ocean on a world map, the world’s largest body of water.
• 47% of Canadians knew the approximate population of the US, compared to only 25% of Americans.
• 34% of Americans polled knew the island on last season’s “Survivor” show was in the South Pacific, but only 30% could locate the state of New Jersey.
• Only about 14% of Americans could find Iraq on a map. Just 17% could find Afghanistan. Most shocking of all – 89% of Americans could find the USA on the map, meaning 11% couldn’t!

WHAT, ME WORRY?
“A Paranoid’s Handbook” by Vancouver author Christopher Hyde offers paranoiacs all kinds of everyday things to worry about including – 
• 15% of all accidents in British homes involve impact with a door.
• 25% of blinding injuries are caused by people poking themselves in the eye with their glasses.
• 35% of all marriage failures are partially blamed on a mother-in-law.
• There are 50 times more fatalities per mile travelled on elevators than in commercial aircraft.

CALENDAR GUY:
“The Canadian Weather Trivia Calendar 2003″ is out, the 15th annual by Environment Canada’s ‘Senior Climatologist‘ David Phillips that marks each day with weather lore, tidbits and trivia. Phillips collects weather stories all year, then does a 20 to 25-city tour to promote the new calendar. Some highlights from his latest –
• When a cow tries to scratch its ear, it means a shower is very near. When it thumps its ribs with its tail, look out for thunder and hail!
• During January, the average relative humidity in a typical Canadian home is about 13%, compared to the Sahara Desert’s 25%. Ideal relative humidity is 35%.
• From a height of 3 km, it takes 30 minutes for a snowflake to reach the ground on its own.

TOP ALL-TIME MOVIE ACTORS/ACTRESSES:
1. Sean Connery/Ingrid Bergman
2. John Wayne/Elizabeth Taylor
3. Tom Hanks/Julia Roberts
4. Richard Gere/Audrey Hepburn
5. Humphrey Bogart/Sophia Loren
Source: Just-released international poll by German magazine “Funk Uhr”.

THE BULL SHEET 11.22.2K2

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1921 [81] Rodney Dangerfield (Jacob Cohen), Babylon NY, ‘no respect’ standup comedian/movie actor (“Little Nicky”, “Caddyshack”)  QUOTE: “My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”

1958 [44] Jamie Lee Curtis, LA CA, movie actress (“Halloween: Resurrection, “True Lies”)  COMING UP: Co-stars with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the sequel “True Lies 2″, coming JULY 2004

1961 [41] Mariel Hemingway, Mill Valley CA, movie actress (“First Daughter”, “Deconstructing Harry”)/Ernest Hemingway’s granddaughter

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [48] Bruce Hornsby, Williamsburg VA, classic rock singer (& the Range-“The Way It Is”)

1979 [23] Kelly Brook, Rochester ENG, TV actress (Victoria Hardwick-“Smallville”)

1995 [07] Austin Majors, TV actor (has played ‘Detective Andy Sipowicz’ son ‘Theo’ in 37 episodes of “NYPD Blue” over the past 4 seasons)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Start Your Own Country Day”, a good excuse to ask listeners what 3 things would be different if they ran their own nation. (Let’s see – no taxes, um, no taxes, and no taxes.)

TODAY “Erotica 2002″, the world’s largest ‘adult festival’, opens in London. Organizers expect more than 60,000 people to attend the 3-day event, where Tantric sex tutors will be schooling willing pupils in the arts of sexual awareness and non-tactile arousal. The mass love-in will be closely monitored by security guards to stop things getting out of hand. They’re likely to be a kinky bunch – almost half of the participants confess to enjoying ‘threesomes’.

TODAY is “National Stop The Violence Day”, observed annually on the anniversary of the assassination of US President John F Kennedy (1963).

TOMORROW in Japan is the national holiday “Labor Thanksgiving Day”. (And we’re guessing next Tuesday is “Halloween Easter”.)

SUNDAY the Edmonton Eskimos will play at home against the Montréal Alouettes in the 90th “Grey Cup” game, a 55,000-ticket sell-out. Some highlights –
• The last time a team played for the CFL championship in their home stadium was 1994 in Vancouver when BC beat Baltimore 26-23.
• Alberta country stars Emerson Drive headline the pre-game show.
• Edmonton’s Adam Gregory sings the national anthem.
• Shania Twain kicks off the halftime show with 2 tunes from her new album ”Up!”.
• A new ‘Wild n’ Woolly’ logo has been unveiled for “Grey Cup 2002″, featuring an old ball wrapped in a green scarf.

SUNDAY through Thursday, November 28th, “High Times” magazine sponsors the 15th annual “Cannabis Cup” in Amsterdam, Holland where blowin’ a doobie is legal. This years competition has been dubbed the ‘World Peace Cup’. Judges rate the top weed from around-the-world, while participants attend seminars and ‘sample’ product. There’s also an amateur (stoned) talent contest called ‘The Bong Show’.
PHONER: 212-219-7000 x4 (420 Tours-NYC)
NET: http://www.420tours.com/420welcome.html

3 YEARS AGO . . .
1999 NHL great Wayne Gretzky inducted into Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto

ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2001 Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics dies at age 83 (goes to that big pink Cadillac in the sky)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1917 [85] ‘National Hockey League’ 1st organized at Board of Governors meeting at Montréal’s Windsor Hotel (Montréal Canadiens, Montréal Wanderers, Toronto Arenas, and Ottawa Senators begin play December 19, 1917, then Wanderers drop out after Westmount Arena burns down)

1934 [68] 1st performance of “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (Eddie Cantor)

1981 [21] 1st team to win 4 consecutive Grey Cups (Edmonton Eskimos, who go on to win a 5th in 1982)

1995 [07] 1st ‘computer-animated movie’ opens (Disney’s “Toy Story”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1950 [52] Lowest-ever NBA score (Ft Wayne Pistons 19, Minneapolis Lakers 18)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Shopping Reminder Day
[Mon] International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
[Wed] Pins & Needles Day
[Thurs] Thanksgiving Day (USA)
This Week Is . . . Culinary Week / Geography Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . International Creative Child & Adult Month / Raisin Bread Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
MICHAEL JACKSON’S BS PARENTING TIPS:
• It’s okay to discipline a child by dangling him over a railing if the kid won’t put out.
• When holding your child over a balcony always cover his head with a blanket so he looks like daddy.
• It’s okay to let your child pick his nose – from a catalogue.
• When disciplining your child, grab your crotch and scream “BAD!”
• Little play friends are always welcome at Neverland, once they’ve signed the standard release waiver.
• Teach your child beauty is only skin deep – but hey, a few face peels never hurt anybody.
• Spankings on the bottom are okay but you should stop if the little tyke’s hand gets sore.

BS PATENTED QUICK-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which of these football teams did NOT win a Grey Cup?
a) Sarnia Imperials
b) Sacramento Goldminers
c) Toronto Varsity Blues
d) Hamilton Flying Wildcats
[Correct answer is the short-lived CFL Sacramento Goldminers.]

• 40 years ago, the 1962 Grey Cup was played over 2 days because –
a) There was a severe winter blizzard.
b) Fans rioted in the stands.
c) It was too foggy to see.
d) No one showed up the first day.
[Correct answer – play was postponed due to fog in what became known as the ‘Fog Bowl’.]

• Where is two-thirds of the world’s eggplant grown?
a) Turkey
b) New Jersey
c) Uruguay
d) Mexico
[Correct answer is, believe it or not, New Jersey!]

• What do male turkeys do to attract female turkeys?
a) Stretch their necks out to their full length.
b) Run around them in a circle.
c) Gobble.
d) Peck at their tail feathers.
[Correct answer is gobble. Only male turkeys (toms) do it, and hens are attracted for mating when they hear it.]

• 34 years ago TODAY (1968) the first-ever ‘interracial kiss’ was shown on TV. What show was it on?
a) ‘Captain Kirk’ & ‘Uhura’ on “Star Trek”
b) Bill Cosby & Robert Culp on “I Spy”
c) ‘Wilbur Post’ & his horse on “Mr Ed”
d) ‘Buckwheat’ & ‘Darla’ on “The Little Rascals”
[Correct answer is “Star Trek”.]

BS ‘FIND THE FAKE’:
One of the following is NOT an actual tabloid headline, but which?
1. “Miracle Cabbage Causes Bald Men to Grow Hair – On Their Backs!” [FAKE]
2. “Collie Bites Man’s Testicles Off – Two Weeks After He Had the Dog Neutered!”
3. “Werewolf Sues Boss For Time Off During Full Moon!”

PHONE STARTER:
“Have you ever dated someone just because they had a cool car?” (In a Mitsubishi poll, 10% said ‘yes’. And 5% say they wouldn’t be caught dead dating anyone driving an ugly car!)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Just under half of us say that we’ve done this at least once after the first day on a new job.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Quit.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.