Wednesday, November 7, 2001 Edition: #2170
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TODAY marks the 36th anniversary of ‘The Pillsbury Doughboy’. ‘Poppin’ Fresh’ the Pillsbury Doughboy popped out of his 1st can of Pillsbury refrigerated dough on November 7, 1965 in a commercial for crescent rolls. Within 3 years of his first appearance, more than 87% of the population recognized his name and likeness.
LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY:
• His girlfriend says he’s an early riser.
• Once signed a porn contract with Play-Doh.
• He sometimes feels un-kneaded.
• Once did it with Mrs Butterworth.
• That giggling is canned. (SFX: http://www.doughboy.com/Doughboy/Default.asp)
• Before rehab he was known as the ‘Doughbury Pillsboy’.
• Likes to bake-off when no one is around.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Michael Jackson is making a rare in-store appearance at the Virgin Megastore in NYC’s Times Square (to avoid any confusion, the store is removing all faceless, pasty-white, plastic mannequins from the premises) . . . According to Andrew Morton’s new unauthorized biography, Madonna once tried to get Michael Jackson into bed but he refused (because she didn’t have bunk beds) . . . In an interview with a German magazine, Penelope Cruz says a sense of humor and the ability to give a long, sensuous kiss are a man’s most important qualities (well Tom, one out of 2 ain’t bad) . . . Jennifer Lopez & Cris Judd (Mrs & Mr J-Lo) are reportedly house-hunting in Miami’s exclusive Bal Harbor area, with she having her sights set on a 9.5 million-dollar hovel . . . Word is Britney Spears has doubled security for her current 30-date “Britney 2001″ tour and is foregoing all air travel in favor of chalking up some 50,000 miles on her tour bus. . . It’s being called ‘The Seinfeld Curse’ as sitcoms by former cast members Michael Richards (“The Michael Richards Show”) and Jason Alexander (“Bob Patterson”) have now tanked, not a good sign for Julia Louis-Dreyfus, whose new NBC-TV comedy debuts in early 2002!
35TH CMA AWARDS:
• Vince Gill hosts TONIGHT’S “Country Music Association Awards” for the 10th straight year, live on CBS-TV from Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry.
• Sara Evans leads nominations with 7. Tim McGraw and Brooks & Dunn have 4 apiece.
• Nominees for ‘Entertainer of the Year’ are Brooks & Dunn, Tim McGraw, the Dixie Chicks, Alan Jackson, and George Strait.
• They’ve already taped rehearsals in case breaking news preempts the show. That way, they have something in the can to run later. (Avoiding the Emmys rescheduling fiasco.)
BS BODY FACTS:
• Genuine emotion is always expressed with the entire body. When uncertain of a person’s sincerity, watch their shoulders. You should doubt anyone who is speaking with strong emotion and relaxed shoulders. (For instance, a used car salesman.)
• It takes about an hour for the human eye to become adjusted for good night vision. (Meaning you can get in 60 minutes of sex before your partner sees your flabby thighs.)
• You blink every 2 to 10 seconds, so you have your eyes shut about 30 minutes every waking day. (More if you’re a civil servant.)
• A resting human gives off as much heat as a 150-watt light bulb. (A pissed-off wife – 40 watts.)
(Source: “Freaky Facts About the Human Body”)
WHO’S WATCHING WHO?
Here’s a real eye opener – a survey of personal trainers for “Fitness” magazine found women working out in a gym tend to ogle men’s bodies — especially buns. Men, on the other hand, spend more time checking out their OWN bodies in mirrors! (No way. They’re looking at the reflection of that babe back there on the thigh machine.)
SMART BANDAGE
University of Rochester researchers are working to create a ‘sensor-endowed bandage’ that detects if any harmful bacteria are present when it’s placed on a wound. The so-called ‘smart bandage’ turns various colors depending on what it finds. (But mom still has to kiss your ’owwie’ better afterward.)
FOR THE RECORD:
• The animated blockbuster “Shrek” scared up a record $110 million in sales during its first 3 days of release on VHS and DVD, moving more than 7 MILLION copies.
• Sri Lankan farmer Gamini Wasantha Kumara has set a new world record for pulling a 40-ton railway car over 25 meters in 15 minutes – with his teeth. (Via Rail is considering hiring him to provide a new faster service.)
WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• In Brazil, a soccer player has gotten into trouble for celebrating after a goal by stripping down to — nothing. (Even worse, he then violated the rules of the game by using his hands.)
• A farmer in Tasmania is feeding his geese cannabis seeds because he says it’s healthier for them than commercial feed. (One drawback, however, they spend the whole day sitting on the couch watching “Scooby Doo” cartoons.)
• A German university is trying to help its computer students act less like ‘geeks’ by giving them courses in social skills. The classes at Munich University will teach students table manners and how to dress properly. (And how to make small talk without mentioning “Star Trek”.)
THE BULL SHEET 11.07.01
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1918 [83] (William Franklin) Billy Graham, Charlotte NC, evangelist who claims to have preached to more people in live audiences than anyone else in history — over 210 million in more than 185 countries and territories
1942 [59] Johnny Rivers (John Ramistella), NYC, oldies singer (“Poor Side of Town”, “Baby I Need Your Lovin”)
1943 [58] Joni Mitchell (Roberta Anderson), Fort McLeod AB, pop/folk singer/songwriter (“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Both Sides Now”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame/Canadian Walk of Fame
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Canada] “Take Our Kids to Work Day” (and this year, let’s bring ‘em back home)
[Edmonton] “Canadian Finals Rodeo” begins
[USA] National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day
[USA] National Notary Public Day
TODAY is the”World Series Victory Parade” in Phoenix, with the Arizona Diamondbacks riding fire engines along a mile-long downtown parade route.
TODAY is “PMS Stress Day”, founded in 1995. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If not, get out of the way!
THIS MONTH is “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow Month”. Why? According to researchers, NOVEMBER is the month when the most hair falls out.
ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2000 Americans go the polls to elect a new president, the results of which take weeks to determine (Hillary Rodham Clinton becomes 1st president’s wife elected to public office, as Senator for NY)
2000 Garth Brooks files for divorce from wife Sandy
2000 Retired sitcom star Jerry Seinfeld & wife Jessica Sklar welcome new daughter, Sascha
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1981 [20] Hall & John Oates’ “Private Eyes” hits #1
1991 [10] Michael Jackson’s controversial “Black & White” video debuts on TV worldwide
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1943 [58] Last time a ‘scoreless tie’ is recorded in the NFL (Detroit Lions-0, NY-Giants 0, Fans-ZZ)
1975 [26] John Anderson of Los Angeles plays guitar non-stop for record 114 hours, 17 minutes
1982 [19] 1st pro QB to pass for 5,000 yds in a single season (Warren Moon-Edmonton Eskimos)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Abet & Aid Punsters Day
[Thurs] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Sat] Forget-Me-Not Day
[Sun] Remembrance Day
Canadian Career Week
Addictions Month
[Sun] Veterans Day
[Nov 15] Great American Smokeout
[Nov 15] National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Nov 15] America Recycles Day
‘Dear Santa’ Letter Week
American Stamp Collecting Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS PHONE STARTERS:
• “What overused words or phrases should be banned?” (How about ‘ramp up’, ‘racheted up’, ‘at the end of the day’, or the military-speak for dead civilians — ‘collateral damage’?)
• “What do you lose the most often and where do you normally find things again?” (Amazingly, a new Yellow Pages poll finds that the most-often lost item is — women’s underwear [down the back of the sofa?].)
• “What is the sexiest accent?”
BS HI-LO GAME:
Are the following figures too high or too low?
• About 15% of babies are born on the predicted ‘due date’. (HIGH. Only about 4%.)
• A common crow can live as long as 25 years. (LOW. Up to 80 years.)
• There are about 400,000 swimming pools in Florida. (LOW. There are more than 1 million, an amazing number considering no part of Florida is more than 80 miles from the seashore.)
• The average person walks 10,000 km in a lifetime. (LOW. More like 108,000 kms [most of it to the refrigerator].)
• A goldfish has a memory span of just 1 minute. (HIGH. Only 3 seconds. The reason they swim around and around going, “Oh look, a castle!” . . . “Oh look, a castle!” . . . “Oh look, a castle!”)
• The biggest known game of ‘musical chairs’ started with 823 participants. (LOW. There were actually 8,238 people involved — and 8,237 chairs.)
• Your adult height will normally be twice your height at the age of 3 years. (HIGH. The average person doubles their height from the age of 22 months.)
• The average American eats in a restaurant 86 times per year. (HIGH. According to the NPD Group’s 16th annual ‘Report on Eating Patterns in America’, it dropped to 64 occasions in 2000 — a figure that is trending downward as we eat more meals at home.)
BS TAG LINE: Expert — anyone from out of town.
