November 30, 2009

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Monday, November 30, 2009     Edition: #4154

December Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

• Michaele & Tareq Salahi, the fame-seeking couple who crashed the White House during a state dinner last week, have postponed plans for an interview on CNN’s “Larry King Live” tonight. That’s because they’re now seeking hundreds-of-thousands for their first television interview. The aspiring reality-TV stars have a history of staging flashy adventures in the Washington DC area, leaving behind a trail of lawsuits and unpaid bills. (Why aren’t they in jail?)
– “New York Times”
• Latest speculation is that Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident, they were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren. That’s allegedly according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident. Word has it she confronted him about seeing another woman, the argument got heated and, according to the source, she scratched up his face. We’re told it was then Woods who made a hasty retreat to his SUV but his Elin followed behind with a golf club with which she struck the vehicle several times. (It’ll be interesting to hear the spin we get today after yesterday’s delayed interview with the Florida Highway Patrol.)
• 48-year-old actor Woody Harrelson (“Zombieland”, “No Country For Old Men”) says he recently gave up eating in order to detox … for 40 days. The strict vegan and yoga enthusiast who also tries to eat as much raw food as possible claims he went 22 days having only fruit juice, the rest of the time water. He also didn’t speak for most of the time. (Maybe he’s dead!)
• 31-year-old actress/celebrity mom Katie Holmes is reportedly so determined her 3-year-old daughter Suri will be the most fashionable kid in Hollywood she spends $25,000 a month on her wardrobe. Among Mrs Cruise’s recent purchases for the tot: 2 dresses priced at $1,500 apiece and a $5,000-ruby pendant. (What chance does this kid have to grow up normal?)
– “Grazia Magazine”
• And the “Twilight” sequel has become the latest victim of eagle-eyed film fans reporting errors on a website that tracks continuity and factual mistakes made in movies. Among the ever-growing list of errors in “New Moon”: ‘Bella’ is shown flying to Italy on Virgin America (which only flies in the USA); a camera operator can be spotted in a mirror (twice); ‘Jacob’s tattoo moves 2 inches down his arm in subsequent scenes; and, in the final scene, you can see various crew members reflected in the taillights of ‘Edward’s car. The list has reached 17 errors, so far.


• “Bonnie Hunt Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Kris Allen (“Kris Allen”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson (“Break Up”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Death Cab for Cutie (“Meet Me On the Equinox” from “New Moon Soundtrack”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Bat For Lashes (“Two Suns”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Weezer (“Raditude”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – David Guetta f/Akon (“Sexy Bitch/Sexy Chick”).
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Sugarland sings music from their new holiday album “Gold & Green”.

• AC/DC – Their “Black Ice” album has won ‘Best Rock Album’ and ‘Highest Selling Album’ at the annual Australian Recording Industry Association Music Awards. It’s the first time they have won anything at the ARIAs.
• Lady Antebellum – “Need You Now” is once again the #1 song on the “Billboard” magazine country singles chart.
• Mariah Carey – Could this be the best-named iPhone app yet? “Mariah Carey-oke” allows you  to singalong on tunes like “Obsessed”, “Don’t Forget About Us”, and “Shake It Off”.
• Metallica – Today they release the CD/DVD package “Orgullo, Pasion y Gloria: Tres Noches En La Ciudad de Mexico” (“Pride, Passion, and Glory: Three Nights in Mexico City”), recorded this past June at Mexico City’s Foro Sol Stadium.
• Nirvana – 3 of their songs are being added to the “Rock Band” game tomorrow: The tune that made them superstars, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, plus live tracks “Come As You Are”, “Lithium”.
• The Who – First they were, then they weren’t, but now it’s been confirmed they will in fact perform the “Super Bowl XLIV” halftime show in Miami FL on February 7th.


Experts offer the following tips to kick off your day in a happy way …
• Stretch – Stretch every extremity for 15 seconds … before you open your eyes.
• Skip Decisions – For truly relaxing mornings, reduce the number of choices you make to zero.
• Drink Water – You’ve been fasting all night long, so you wake each morning dehydrated.
• Have an Emergency Outfit Ready – On mornings when you sleep through the alarm or need an extra 10 minutes, you can just pluck it off the hanger and go.
• Boost Your Heart Rate – Hop on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Studies have found that people who work out in the morning are more likely to stick with their exercise routine.
• Brush Your Tongue – There’s no better way to rid yourself of morning breath and begin the day minty fresh. A 1-minute brush is recommended to rid yourself of accumulated bacteria.
• Split Up – That means you use one bathroom and your partner uses another. It makes for a calmer, less stressful start to the day.
• Don’t Rush – Set your alarm 15 minutes earlier so you don’t have to jump out of bed and rush through your morning.
– Condensed from

The Salvation Army says a Chicago-area bell-ringer has literally struck gold. When Lieutenant Rick Garcia emptied out his kettle after a day of seeking donations in Naperville IL, a South African Krugerrand coin was discovered at the bottom. The 1-ounce pure gold coin is worth … $1,200! (As a reward, Garcia is now scheduled to stand and ring his bell 18 hours a day on a less windy corner.)
– “Beacon-News”

A UK university is seeking a ‘lap-dance researcher’ who has already studied the exotic dance industry. The School of Sociology & Social Policy at the University of Leeds has posted an ad to fill the position. The successful applicant will help research the ‘rise, tolerance and integration of … the erotic dance industry’ that will involve interviewing some 300 strippers. (280 of which are named ‘Candi’ with an ‘I’.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

There’s no doubt the World Wide Web is huge – last year Google identified some1 trillion unique URLs. The search engine has only indexed a fraction of those (circa 25-30 billion). But that’s nothing compared to what’s called the ‘Deep Web’, the part of the Internet that is not easily accessible by search engines. One research paper suggests that the Deep Web is 400-to-550 times larger than the surface web …. and that was 8 years ago in 2001. (Imagine all the mindless trash we’re not seeing!)
– “The Guardian”


Scottish brewery BrewDog has released its newest beer, named ‘Tactical Nuclear Penguin’. At 32% alcohol content, it’s the ‘World’s Strongest Beer’. A warning on the label states: “This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance. In exactly the same manner that you would enjoy a fine whisky, a Frank Zappa album or a visit from a friendly yet anxious ghost.” (Apparently whoever wrote the label already drank some.)
– BBC News

• Nowhere in Britain is more than 74.5 miles from the sea.
• December is the most popular month for nose jobs. (“Deck Your Face with Rhinoplasty …”)


1929 [80] Dick Clark, Mount Vernon NY, TV producer (“American Music Awards”, “Golden Globe Awards”)/TV host (“New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” since 1972)/suffered a stroke in 2004

1937 [72] Ridley Scott, South Shields UK, movie producer/director (“American Gangster”, “Gladiator”)  UP NEXT: “Robin Hood” (2010).

1957 [52] Colin Mochrie, Kilmarnock, Scotland [raised Vancouver BC], improv comedian (“This Hour Has 22 Minutes” 2001-03, “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 1998-2004)/former member of the Toronto Second City troupe

1965 [44] Ben Stiller, NYC, movie actor (“Night At the Museum” films, “Meet the Parents” films)/movie producer-director (“Tropic Thunder”, “Blades of Glory”)

1978 [31] Clay Aiken (Grissom), Raleigh NC, pop singer (“The Way”, “Solitaire”)/Broadway actor (“Monty Python’s Spamalot”)/2003 “American Idol” runner-up

1982 [27] Elisha Cuthbert, Calgary AB [grew up Longueuil QC], movie actress (“Captivity”, “Old School”)/TV actress (‘Kim Bauer‘ on “24” since 2001)

• “Cyber Monday”, a phrase coined by the retail industry in 2005 for what’s hyped as the online shopping equivalent of “Black Friday”, when special promotions are offered in an attempt to boost the number of consumers using work computers for holiday shopping.

• “International Computer Security Day”, to remind us to protect our computers, programs and data at home and work. Remember, always practise safe surfin’!

• “Meth Awareness Day”, a day of education and awareness of the dangers of methamphetamine.

• “St Andrew’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of Scotland who hurled his last haggis in 60 AD. Be sure to dust off your sporran!

• “Stay Home Because You’re Well Day”, a day to call in ‘well’ instead of having to fake sickness in order to get a day off. (Yeah right, try this stunt and you can stay home EVERY day.)

2004 [05] After amassing $2,520,700 on TV quiz show “Jeopardy!”, contestant Ken Jennings is finally knocked off by real estate agent Nancy Zerg on a question about taxes (during his record 75-game run, he gives correct responses to over 2,700 clues)

1970 [39] 1st-ever ‘Triple Album’(George Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass”)

1887 [122] 1st ‘Softball Game’ (as ‘Indoor Baseball’ is played in Chicago using a broomstick for a bat and a boxing glove for a ball)


[Dec 1] Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day / Day Without Art Day / World Aids Day / “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (CBS)
[Dec 2] International Day For the Abolition of Slavery / Special Kids Day / Special Education Day / Grammy Nominations Concert (Los Angeles)
[Dec 3] International Day of Disabled Persons
[Dec 4] Montréal Canadiens 100th Birthday / “Armored”; “Brothers”; “Everybody’s Fine”; “Transylmania” open in movie theaters
[Dec 5] AFL-CIO Day / Bathtub Party Day / International Ninja Day / International Volunteer Day for Economic & Social Development
[Dec 6] Coats & Toys for Kids Day / Miners Day / Pawnbrokers Day / St Nicholas Day
[Dec 7] Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day / International Civil Aviation Day
[Dec 9] International Anti-Corruption Day
[Dec 10] Salesperson Day / Dewey Decimal System Day / Human Rights Day / Nobel Prize Day
[Dec 11] International Mountain Day / UNICEF Birthday / International Shareware Day / Day Of the Horse / Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo) / Chanukah begins at sunset (Jewish) / Garth Brooks Concerts begin at Wynn Las Vegas / “Invictus” opens in movie theaters
[Dec 12] Poinsettia Day / AFI Awards (Melbourne) / British Comedy Awards (London)
[Dec 13] “The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty” debuts (A&E)
[Dec 14] “The Sing-Off” debuts (NBC)
[Dec 15] Cat Herders Day
[Dec 16] Chocolate-Covered Anything Day / Re-Gifting Day
[Dec 17] Wright Bros Day / Underdog Day
[Dec 18] Islamic New Year / International Migrants Day / “Avatar”; “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” open in movie theaters
[Dec 20] International Human Solidarity Day / “Christmas in Washington” (TNT)
[Dec 21] Crossword Puzzle Day / Humbug Day / Haiku Poetry Day / Winter Solstice / Yule / Full ‘Cold’ Moon / Total Lunar Eclipse
[Dec 23] “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakuel” opens in movie theaters
[Dec 24] Christmas Eve
[Dec 25] Christmas / “It’s Complicated”; “Nine”; “Sherlock Holmes” open in movie theaters
[Dec 26] Kwanzaa begins / Boxing Day / Candy Cane Day / Thank-You Note Day / Whiner’s Day
[Dec 27] Ashura (Muslim)
[Dec 31] First Night / Make Up Your Mind Day / New Years Eve
[Jan 1] New Year’s Day
[Jan 6] People’s Choice Awards (Los Angeles)
[Jan 8] Elvis Presley’s 75th Birth Anniversary


A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Who is more likely to be an insomniac? (Men. Studies show they tend to carry the problems of the day to bed with them more than women do.)
• Who uses more of their brain to listen? (A study by Indiana School of Medicine researchers shows that men listen with one side of the brain while women use both sides.)
• Who is more likely to snore? (Men are. Doctors have found a direct link between male hormones and snoring. In fact, when men are given male hormones for medical treatment, they tend to snore even more.)
• Who’s most likely to talk more? (Women have 2 areas of the brain devoted to speech, men just one.)

Suppose you had the ability to delete sections of memory from your brain to free up space. What useless knowledge, bad music, awful movies, etc would you zap first?


The Muppets do “Bohemian Rhapsody”. As good as it sounds!


My sister used to work for the government, but now she has seniority.


Measured by average wind speed, where is the windiest place on Earth?
a. Chicago, Illinois.
b. Strait of Magellan, Chile.
c. Commonwealth Bay, Antarctica. [CORRECT. Wind speeds often reach 200 mph.]
d. Taco Bell.


Today’s Question: The average family throws out 41 lbs (18.6 kg) of THIS every year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Junk mail.


The difference between intelligence and stupidity is that intelligence has a limit.

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