Thursday, November 8, 2018 – Edition: #6331

The B.S. Press!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The drama is heating up for the royal family. Prince William and Kate Middleton reportedly rejected an offer to spend the holidays with Prince Charles and Camilla. The rejected invitation comes amid reports that Charles is developing a close bond with William’s new sister-in-law, Meghan Markle. According to reports, the Charles and Meghan have a lot in common because they have both experienced dysfunctional family life.  (Maybe Will and Kate were worried that Meghan’s father might show up!)
-CelebrityInsider
★ George Clooney is giving up one of his prized Harley Davidson motorcycles, and the money raised will benefit the Homes For Our Troops non-profit group. While the troops are bound to be happy, as will the new owner, Amal Clooney might be the happiest of all when the bike sells. The eBay listing says: “Ever since George Clooney’s motorcycle accident, his wife Amal has told him he’s off two wheels for good.  George just bought a brand-new dresser Harley with only 25 MILES ON THE ODOMETER! — all yours if you win the bidding.”
-MSN
★ “Breaking Bad” may have had its finale in 2013, but it has been confirmed that that series creator Vince Gilligan is working on a new film with ties to the beloved series. Gilligan is working on a two-hour film, though whether it’s destined for multiplexes or television is unclear. Details are sparse, with no information on what shape the movie would take — whether it would be a prequel like “Better Call Saul” or something else — or whether any of “Breaking Bad’s” stars will return.
-MSN
★ Reboot alert!  “Shrek” and “Puss in Boots” will both be revived under producer Chris Meledandri, the man behind the “Despicable Me” movies.  Universal Pictures has tasked Meledandri with finding some fresh story lines to reintroduce the lovable ogre and the sword-wielding feline to new generations of moviegoers. One thing the animation guru doesn’t want to mess with is with the vocal performances. Part of the success of “Shrek” is attributable to a stellar voice cast that included Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas, and Meledandri says he’d like to be able to use them in the reboots.
-Variety

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Anthony Anderson, Sebastian Stan, Jeff Goldblum
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Emma Stone, Bridget Everett, Finesse Mitchell
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Billy Crystal, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, Big Red Machine
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tracy Morgan, David Remnick, Franklin Vanderbilt
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Minnie Driver, Jack Whitehall, Chloe x Halle
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Sarah Jessica Parker
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): April Ryan, John C. Reilly
• “The Talk” (CBS): Keke Palmer, Perez Hilton, guest co-host Vanessa Lachey
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Mark Wahlberg, Leann Rimes, guest co-host Katie Lowes
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Leah Remini, Timothy Fletcher, Malik Perry
• “Thursday Night Football” (FOX): Carolina Panthers at Pittsburgh Steelers
• “The Voice” (NBC): The journey of the Top 24 from the blind auditions to the live playoffs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande — Billboard has named her its 2018 Woman of the Year. She’ll receive the award at Billboard’s 13th annual Women in Music event on Dec. 6 in New York City. Previous recipients include Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Madonna and Selena Gomez.
• Demi Lovato — has finally popped up again on social media.  She instagrammed a pic of herself at a voting booth with the caption: “I’M VOTING!!!” She also encouraged her fans to get out and vote themselves.
• Frank Ocean – He posted a flier to Tumblr early Tuesday morning, announcing that, he would be opening pop-up shops in Atlanta, Miami, Houston and Dallas where fans could pick up free merchandise in return for proof they voted in the mid-terms.
• Van Halen – A play apparently inspired by them will open off-Broadway early next year. “Eddie and Dave” will tell the group’s story with a twist:  Women will play the title characters, Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth.  It will run January 10th – February 10 at the The Atlantic Theater Company.
• AC/DC – Foo Fighter Dave Grohl says his last musical ambition is to play with AC/DC, after a career that’s seen him work or at least guest with almost all of his heroes. Asked about the “dream person” to play drums for, Grohl told Forbes, “AC/DC. That’s my last one, that’s it.”  AC/DC was recently rumored to be recording with classic-era drummer Phil Rudd.
• Sinead O’Connor — went on a long Twitter rant on Tuesday, railing against white people, non-Muslims, Donald Trump, Catholicism, and Twitter itself. The singer, who last month announced that she had converted to Islam and changed her name to Shuhada’ Davitt, began by apologizing for the “racist” statement she was about to make.
• Brad Paisley – His wife, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, has signed on to join Julianne Hough in Dolly Parton’s upcoming Netflix series, “Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings: Jolene”.  Williams-Paisley previously co-starred on the show “Nashville”.
• Kane Brown – says he recently cried for the first time in years.  What made him cry?  Watching Adam Sandler’s 2006 movie “Click”.  When he got off the road, he made his wife (Katelyn Jae) watch it, and according to him, “then it was just funny seeing it the other way around, ’cause she was bawling her eyes out.”

iSPEND:
Some people were a bit dumbfounded when they discovered the cost of the latest generation of iPhones ($1,099, all figures U.S.), but did you ever stop to figure out what you’ll spend on those things in your lifetime? Someone did.  Get ready.  If you were to buy your first smartphone at age 18 and upgrade every 32 months until the age of 78, your total cost would be $12,474.  But we’re not done.  Based on current unlimited plans, you can expect to spend around $80 per month, totaling $57,600 over 60 years.  Add in 60 years of app purchases at an average of $88 per year, and the grand total you’ll pay for smartphones over your life comes to $75,354.  Shocked yet?  It gets worse.  To the tune of $300,00 if you figure in what’s called “opportunity cost”.  If you put that money into an investment account instead, and factor in long-term returns of around 4 percent a year after inflation, that handy gadget in your pocket is now costing you around $300,000 over your adult life.  And we haven’t even talked about inflation yet.  Naturally, this calculation involves a number of assumptions, and naturally you probably feel that having a phone is a necessity, but it might encourage you to shop around a bit to make sure you have the best plan possible.
(Yeah, if I didn’t have a phone, I wouldn’t be investing that extra money anyway.  I’d probably be spending it.  At a payphone!)
(But think of how much I’m saving by not having a landline!)
(I’ve probably spent half that on accessories alone!)
-Brobible

GOOD THING DOGS CAN’T TELL TIME:
A city in China has banned dog owners from walking their pets during the daytime.  Not only that, but man’s best friend will no longer be allowed in parks, shopping centres, sports facilities and other public spaces at any time.  Dog ownership has always been subject to tight regulations in China, but these new measures are being called the toughest in the country. The official word from the city is that the new rules, which specify that dog owners are no longer allowed to walk their dogs from 7am to 10pm, are being put in place as part of official efforts to “improve residents living conditions and maintain public safety”.  It also says dog leashes cannot be longer than 1 metre (3 feet) and dogs can only be walked by adults.
(I don’t know about your dog, but my dog’s bladder wouldn’t work with that schedule!)
(Better get running!)
-AP, DailyMail

DON’T MY PARENTS FEEL STUPID NOW:
The American Academy of Pediatrics says that children should not be spanked – ever.  In a new policy statement, the pediatricians’ group recommends that parents and caregivers instead use “healthy forms of discipline” — such as positive reinforcement, setting limits and setting expectations — and not use spanking, hitting, slapping, threatening, insulting, humiliating or shaming as forms of discipline or punishment.  The statement says that numerous studies have shown that spanking is ineffective, and can lead to aggressive behavior and poor parent-child relationships.  It is also associated with increased risk of mental health disorders.  The statement was published in the journal “Pediatrics”.
(In my mind, that’s great advice, about 30 years too late!)
(Don’t worry if you don’t see the neighborhood kids much next summer.  They’re just grounded!)
(As a child, I was spanked so often, that the neighbors called my father ‘Corporal Punishment’!)
-CNN, ABC

THE MOST (AND LEAST) ANNOYING SOUNDS, ACCORDING TO SCIENCE:
Neuroscientists put 16 people in an MRI machine and monitored their brains while they heard 74 different sounds. They asked these unlucky participants to rate each noise according to how pleasant or annoying they were…

Most Annoying:
1. A knife on a bottle
2. A fork on a glass
3. Chalk on a chalkboard
4. A ruler on a bottle
5. Nails on a chalkboard
6. A female scream
7. An angle grinder (power tool)
8. Squealing brakes on a bicycle
9. A crying baby
10. An electric drill
(Who tries to cut a bottle, anyway?)

Least Annoying:
1. Applause
2. A baby laughing
3. Thunder
4. Water flowing
(That ‘thunder’ sound isn’t quite so pleasant when it’s really close!)
-JournalofNeuroscience

DID YOU KNOW?
This year’s New York City Marathon on Nov. 4 set a record for the most finishers of any marathon – 52,812.
(They can find 52,000 people to run 26 miles, and I can’t find one person to walk my dog when I go away?)
-CP

BS CHRONOMETER 11.08.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [69] Bonnie Raitt, Burbank CA, pop singer-songwriter (‘Something to Talk About’, ‘Love Sneakin’ Up on You’)/10 Grammy Awards/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2000)

1950 [68] Mary Hart, TV show host (“Entertainment Tonight” anchor 1982-2011)

1966 [52] Gordon Ramsay, Johnstone, Scotland, TV chef (some 15 different programs, including “Hell’s Kitchen”, “Kitchen Nightmares”, “MasterChef”, “Hotel Hell”)

1968 [50] Parker Posey, Baltimore MD, movie actress (“Café Society”, “Dazed & Confused”)/TV actress (“Parks and Recreation”, The Good Wife”)

1972 [46] Gretchen Mol, Deep River CT, TV actress (“Boardwalk Empire” 2010-13)/movie actress (“3:10 to Yuma”)

1975 [43] Tara Reid, Wyckoff NJ, movie actress (“Sharknado” films, “American Pie”)

1983 [35] Chris Rankin, Auckland NZ, movie actor (‘Percy Weasley’ in “Harry Potter” films)

1994 [24] Lauren Alaina, Rossville GA, country singer/American Idol contestant who finished second on season 10 (‘Road Less Traveled’)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Abet & Aid Punsters Day”, a day to make up incredibly bad puns, as proclaimed by the group Punsters Unlimited.
The Most Punderful Story We Could Find:
“Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?  He pasta way. We cannelloni do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history.  Here today, gone tomato.  How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family.  His wife is really upset.  Cheese still not over it.  You never sausage a tragic thing.”

• “Cappuccino Day”, a good excuse to treat yourself to a kick of caffeine.  Cappuccino was created in Italy in the 1600s. The name comes from an Italian order of monks known as the Catholic Capuchins.  It’s prepared with espresso, hot milk, and a cap of foam.

• “Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day”, a day to offset the coming chills of Winter. What’s the most pungent thing you can cook? Cabbage rolls? Fish? Lamb? Garlic? Onions?

• “Parents as Teachers Day”, Check out any kid who’s constantly scoring an ‘A’ and you’ll likely find that kid gets a lot of help at home (or his parent IS a teacher!)

• “X-ray Day”, in 1895, physicist Wilhelm Conrad Rontgen (1845-1923) became the first person to observe X-rays, a significant scientific advancement that would ultimately benefit a variety of fields, most of all medicine, by making the invisible visible.

• “National Harvey Wallbanger Day”, legend says this cocktail was named after a Manhattan Beach surfer. Originally a California phenomenon, the drink gained national attention in 1970 when TWA featured the cocktail on its in-flight menu. Mix up three parts vodka, one part Galliano, and six parts orange juice. Garnish with an orange slice and raise your glass in honor of National Harvey Wallbanger Day. Cheers!

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Carl Sagan Day
[Fri] Go to an Art Museum Today Day
[Sat] Area Code Day
[Sat] Sesame Street Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [16] “8 Mile”, a semi-biographical look at Eminem’s early days as a struggling rapper in Detroit, opens in theaters. ‘Lose Yourself’ becomes the first rap song to win the Oscar for Best Original Song.

2010 [08] Late-night TV personality Conan O’Brien makes his debut on TBS (“Conan”)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001 [17] Microsoft releases its newly-developed game console ‘Xbox’ ($299)

TODAY’S FORTY-FIFTH . . .
2016 [02] Donald Trump is elected 45th President of The United States, defeating Hillary Clinton despite Clinton receiving 2.9 million more votes

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2008 [10] AC/DC’s 15th studio album “Black Ice” hits #1 in 29 countries, including Australia, Canada, the UK, and the USA (2nd-best selling album of the year)

2012 [06] High winds cause scaffolding to collapse, killing 1 fan and injuring 19 more at a Linkin Park concert in Cape Town, South Africa

2014 [04] Florida Georgia Line take advantage of their hit song ‘Cruise’ to host the “This is How We Cruise” voyage that leaves Miami FL for a 4-day Caribbean adventure

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Swearing can be a powerful painkiller through the release of endorphins.
✓ Intelligent people tend to care less about the opinions of others.
✓ Every night after closing, Disneyland releases 200 cats into the park to help keep the rodent population under control.
✓ Bill Gates aimed to be a millionaire by age 30. He was a billionaire at age 31.
✓ No number before 1,000 contains the letter A.
✓ The sentence “Are you as bored as I am?” can be said backwards and still make sense.
-WhattheFFacts

BS SONGS FROM THE HR DEPARTMENT:
• Mama Said Clock You Out
• Smells Like Team Spirit
• Baby Got Cutbacks
• Devil With A Blue Dress Code Violation
• Let’s Talk about Sexual Harassment
• The Health and Safety Dance
• I’ve Got The Power Point
• Born to Run…Through A Stack Of Resumes
• Hire Love
• No Smoking in The Boys Room
• Peggy Sued
• I Got 99 Problems and All of them Have to do With the Number of Sick Days You Took Last Month
-Twitter

Best of BS:
BS SIGNS YOUR CAT MAY BE TRYING TO KILL YOU:
• You wake up to find a bird’s head in your bed.
• Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
• Actually DOES have your tongue.
• Droppings in litter box spell out “REDRUM.”
• You catch him with a new mohawk, looking in the mirror saying, “Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?”
• Takes attentive notes every time “Itchy and Scratchy” are on.
• Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
• Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
• Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman’s noose.
• You find a piece of paper labelled “MY WIL” which says “LEEV AWL 2 KAT.”
• Lately, sharpens claws on your car’s brake lines.
-Poddy’s

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the strangest thing that comes up when you Google your name?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
My email password has been hacked again. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  35% of people surveyed said THIS is their significant other’s most irritating habit.  What is it?
Answer:  Channel surfing

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Some people wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, and all life for happiness.