Friday, November 23, 2007        Edition: #3662
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!        

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
35-year-old TV actress Christina Applegate (“Samantha Who?”) will appear on the PETA holiday greeting card encouraging us not to buy fur by wearing – only red & green gloves . . . Some of Hollywood’s most militant types (Charlize Theron, Jane Fonda, Sean Penn, Woody Allen, plus the casts of “Desperate Housewives” & “Ugly Betty”) are supporting the striking writers with a series of online video shorts called “Speechless”, in which they basically stand around and say nothing (it’s symbolic – get it?) . . . Britney Spears is facing more legal trouble, this time being sued by a real estate broker for allegedly trashing a $1.5 million condo in Marina Del Rey CA beyond repair (or at least for whatever a high-priced lawyer can squeeze) . . . The bad news is, actor David Hasselhoff will reprise his role as ‘Michael Knight’ in the upcoming NBC-TV movie “Knight Rider”; the good news is, the flick/TV pilot will focus on the crime-fighting escapades of his character’s son – who never knew his dad (meaning the Hoff will be cut loose to go bar-hopping after about 5 minutes of screen-time) . . . “Deal or No Deal” host Howie Mandel is reportedly such an obsessive-compulsive and germophobe, he first shaved his hair off because it felt ‘cleaner’ (what about those toenails, man?) . . . Actress Halle Berry has given her Canadian model-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry a $150,000 Mercedes-Benz as a pre-baby gift for helping her become pregnant (what a waste – lots of guys would do it for free) . . . And keep this in mind if you’re heading off to the movies this weekend – the luxurious new ArcLight Theater in Sherman Oaks CA has worked on every minute detail to offer ultimate comfort to its patrons, including reserved seating (no line-ups), popcorn in tubs (no crinkling from bags), and an upscale snack bar that also offers – martinis (how civilized).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruce Springsteen – Keyboardist Danny Federici, an original member of the E Street Band, is taking a leave of absence from the ongoing “Magic” tour to undergo treatment for melanoma.
• Franz Ferdinand – Frontman Alex Kapranos says he’s considering writing a stage musical after the release of their next album.
• Nine Inch Nails – Trent Reznor has been forced to scrap plans for a website to showcase fans’ remixes of their songs because Universal Records has shot down the idea. The company is already locked in a legal battle with YouTube and MySpace over breach of copyright.
• The Romantics – The ‘80s band has filed a lawsuit against Activision, maker of “Guitar Hero”, claiming the popular video game infringes on their rights by featuring a sound-a-like recording of their 1980 hit “What I Like About You”. Hey, the royalties are a bit slim after 27 years.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Barry Manilow – TONIGHT he shows off his latest facelift on a rerun of the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• “Billy Ray Cyrus: Home at Last” – SATURDAY this 4-part TV special debuts (CMT) which follows the one-hit-wonder singer as he navigates Hollywood with his now-more-famous daughter, Miley Cyrus (“Hannah Montana”).
• Celine Dion – THIS MORNING she guests on “The View” (ABC/CTV). Her manager/husband says he’s cancelled her planned concert NEXT SUMMER in Halifax because local radio and newspaper reports continually insult her.
• “Golden Horse Awards” – SUNDAY director Ang Lee leads nominees for the Chinese-language equivalent of the Oscars in Taiwan with 11 nominations for his spy thriller “Lust, Caution”. He’s also nominated for Taiwanese filmmaker of the year.
• James Blunt – THIS MORNING he appears on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Mariah Carey – THIS AFTERNOON she’s a guest on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Ozzy Does Vegas – SATURDAY Ozzy Osbourne & special guest Rob Zombie bring their 40-concert North American tour to the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Las Vegas, his first solo concert in Sin City in more than 4 years.
• “Superman” Weds – SATURDAY actor Brandon Routh makes longtime girlfriend Courtney Ford his super-wife in a ceremony on the beach at  the Bacara Resort & Spa in Santa Barbara CA.
• Wynonna Judd – THIS MORNING she’s on the “Today Show” (NBC).

FOR YOUR POPPING PLEASURE:
In Japan, the bubble-wrap material used for packaging is best known by a local brand-name, Puti Puti [pronounced ‘poochy-poochy’], and Kawakami Sangyo Co has set up a lab dedicated to finding unusual uses for it. Packages of small bubble wrap sheets developed solely for popping went on sale in OCTOBER for a little under $2 and a new ‘2008 Puti Puti Calendar’ comes with a bubble-a-day to pop. The company is also trying to develop star-shaped bubbles as well as scented Puti Puti, but both have proven tricky. Among other suggestions being considered: injecting bubbles with colored ink to create artwork; using bubble-wrap sheets for cushions at stadiums and picnics; and sewing them into wedding dresses. (“Okay honey, it’s time to pop your bubble.”)
– “China Daily”

CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS:
Before you make plans for an office gift exchange this holiday season, be advised that a recent survey has found that 31% of employees admit to tossing out whatever trinkets they were given by co-workers. The results are even worse for ‘Secret Santa’ exchanges – gifts from anonymous givers are apparently chucked in the trash 41% of the time.
– “Curious Times”

SPUD FIGHTS:
Steve Barone, a video producer in Minneapolis MN, is also the reigning champion of the ‘Mashed Potato Wrestling Federation’. Yep, it’s grappling set in a in a pit of squishy mashed potatoes. Barone says the stuff can feel like concrete when you’re thrown in it, but the biggest worry is trying not to breathe it into your lungs. His pit name is … ‘Steve-O Gratin’.
NET: http://www.mashedpotatowrestling.com/
– “New York Times”

ONE MAN’S TRASH:
The abstract painting, “Tres Personajes”, by Mexican artist Rufino Tamayo has sold for $1,049,000 to an unidentified collector at a Sotheby’s auction in NYC. What makes that noteworthy is: the work was stolen 20 years ago, then later rescued by a passerby in Manhattan who pulled it out of … a dumpster. (The best thing we ever found while dumpster-diving was a hamburger … half-eaten but still warm. Mmm!)
– Associated Press

THEY’LL PICK OUR NURSING HOMES:
Parents who wonder how their kids will treat them in old age should take a look at how they’re treating their own elderly parents, according to a new University of Southern California study. Researchers warn we can’t be estranged from our own parents and then expect our kids to be nice to us later. We have to demonstrate the desired behavior. (Another reason to call your mom today.)
– “USA Today”

IN A WORD:
The editors of the “New Oxford American Dictionary“ have announced their choice for the 2007 ‘Word of the Year’ – ‘Locavore’ [LOAK-uh-voar’]. That’s the newly-coined term for people who either grow their own food or buy it as locally as possible, preferably directly from the farmer or at farmers’ markets. Other words in contention included: ‘bacn‘ (e-mail that is considered more desirable than spam); ‘upcycling’ (transforming garbage into something useful); and ‘mumblecore’ (an independent film movement featuring low-budget production, non-professional actors, and largely improvised dialogue).
– Oxford University Press

A NEW WRINKLE:
An Englishwoman who will be 102 later THIS MONTH has stripped off for a nude calendar photo in aid of her village soccer club. Nora Hardwick of Ancaster, Lincolnshire is shown posed behind a bar as ‘Miss November’. She says it’s very tastefully done and you can’t see any of … ‘the bits’. Her children have apparently been very supportive – they’re aged 62, 74, and 80. Hardwick says she’s game for anything but supposes she’ll never pose nude again. (Trouble with this calendar is, before you hang it … you have to iron it.)
– “Globe & Mail”

DID YOU KNOW?
• According to nutritionists, the 6 foods that keep you young are: olive oil, yogurt, fish, chocolate, nuts, and wine. Eat up … and cheers!
– Wellness.com
• Despite 20th-century predictions of a paperless office, Americans use enough sheets of paper every year to build a 10-foot-high wall that would stretch from NYC to Tokyo, Japan.
– “Social Studies”
• According to Brian Wansink, author of “Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think”, to eat more sensibly we should save our calories for dinner, skip the hors d’oeuvres, and use the smaller-size appetizer plate for an entrée.
– “Cosmopolitan”

BS CHRONOMETER 11.23.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [53] Bruce Hornsby, Williamsburg VA, oldies singer (& the Range-“The Way It Is”)

1974 [33] Saku Koivu, Turku, Finland, NHL center/team captain (Montréal Canadiens)

1979 [28] Kelly Brook (Parsons), Rochester UK, model/sometime movie actress (“The Italian Job”)/#1 on “FHM” magazine’s ‘Sexiest Women 2005′ list

1984 [23] Lucas Grabeel, Springfield MO, TV actor (‘Ryan Evans’ in “High School Musical 1 & 2”)

1992 [15] (Destiny Hope) Miley Cyrus, Nashville TN, TV actress/pop singer (“Hannah Montana” since 2006)  FACTOID: Her nickname derives from her dad, Billy Ray, calling her ‘Smiley’ as a baby.    

SATURDAY –
Movie actor/comedian Billy Connolly (“Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events”) is 65; Rock guitarist Chad Taylor (Live) is 37; Movie actor Colin Hanks (“Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny”) is 30; TV/movie actress Katherine Heigl (“Grey’s Anatomy”/”Knocked Up”) is 29.

SUNDAY –
NFL coach Joe Gibbs (Washington Redskins) is 67; Pop/gospel singer Amy Grant (“Baby Baby”) is 47; Rock singer Mark Lanegan (Queens of the Stone Age) is 43; TV actress Jill Hennessy (“Crossing Jordan”) is 39; TV actress Christina Applegate (“Samantha Who?”) is 36; NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb (Philadelphia Eagles) is 31.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Black Friday”, the traditional beginning of the holiday shopping season. The term comes from the fact that at this time of year many retailers go from being unprofitable (‘in the red’) to being profitable (‘in the black’).
• “Buy Nothing Day”, a 24-hour moratorium on consumer spending called for by the advocacy group Ad Busters.
NET: http://www.adbusters.org/metas/eco/bnd/
• “Cashew Day”, celebrating the yummy nut that sounds like a sneeze.
• “Labor Thanksgiving Day” in Japan (“Kinro Kansha no Hi”), a national holiday since 1948 to express gratitude to one another for work done throughout the year and for the fruits of those labors. And we’re guessing next Tuesday is “Halloween Easter”?
• “Sinkie Day”, the 16th annual declared by the ‘International Association of People Who Dine Over the Kitchen Sink’. Veterans (known as ‘Sinkies’) and rookies alike are encouraged to participate in this time-honored method of casual dining.
NET: http://www.sinkie.com
• “Vanier Cup”, the annual Canadian university football championship, being played this year at Rogers Centre in Toronto between the University of Manitoba & St Mary’s.
NET: http://www.vaniercup.ca/

SATURDAY –
• “Beaver Moon”, the full moon of November. The name reflects that this was traditionally time to set beaver traps before the swamps froze, to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Another interpretation suggests it comes from the fact that beavers are now actively preparing for winter. It’s also referred to as the “Frosty Moon”.
• “Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day”, in recognition of the fact that each of us has something we do better than most other people. So what’s your gift to humanity? Wiggling your ears?
• “Fish House Parade”, the 15th annual in  Aitken MN that showcases fancy decorated fish huts used for ice fishing during the winter. Almost as smelly as the Yukon’s annual ‘Outhouse Parade’.
NET: http://www.aitkin.com/06thingstodo/tdd-community_eventsFHP.htm

SUNDAY –
• “Banquet for Monkeys”, the 19th annual feast on the last SUNDAY of NOVEMBER for over 500 simians in Lop Buri, Thailand. The 80-table banquet of fruit barbecues is prepared by 5-star hotel chefs as payback to the critters for bringing the town tourism … not to mention aroma.
NET: http://www.lonelyplanet.com/theme/food/food_monkeys.htm
• “Grey Cup”, the 95th Canadian football championship in Toronto. This year it’s the fight of the flatlanders with Winnipeg vs Saskatchewan for the first time ever in the final. Keshia Chanté sings the pre-game anthem; Lenny Kravitz does the half-time show.
NET: http://toronto.cflgreycup.ca/
• “International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women”, observed by women’s activists since 1981 and declared an official UN observance in 1999.
NET: http://www.un.org/depts/dhl/violence/
• “Shopping Reminder Day”, marking 1 month until Christmas. Just what you wanted to hear, right?

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1889 [118] Louis Glass introduces his new invention, the ‘Jukebox’, at the Palais Royal Saloon in San Francisco – a tinfoil phonograph with 4 coin-operated listening tubes (at the time, ‘juke’ is a slang word for a house of ill repute)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1897 [110] 1st ‘Pencil Sharpener’ (next day, some lady gums it up with an eyebrow pencil)

1948 [59] 1st ‘Zoom Lens’ (and the paparazzi profession is born)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Pins & Needles Day
[Wed] Flossing Day
[Wed] Salespersons Day
[Thurs] Electronic Greetings Day
[Thurs] Square Dance Day
This Week Is … Adoption Week
This Month Is … Lung Cancer Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Do other fruits accept the tomato … or is there ugliness?
• Are the 6th and 9th times also ‘a charm’?
• Is the reason we have 2 ears and only 1 mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak?
• How much do you think they would cost if movie theater snack bars sold cars?
• When cars are solar-powered, how will car chases end?

BS GREY CUP QUIZ:
• Which was the first ‘western team’ to win the Grey Cup? (Winnipeg, which beat the Hamilton Tigers in 1935. This year Winnipeg could win as an ‘eastern team’.)
• This first happened at the 1957 Grey Cup. (National TV coverage. It’s been an excuse for a nationwide party ever since.)
• Which team won both the first Grey Cup AND the first Vanier Cup, the Canadian university championship? (The University of Toronto Varsity Blues won the first Grey Cup in 1909 and the CIAU championship Vanier Cup when it began in 1965.)
• Which team’s fans are credited with making the Grey Cup into a festival? (The Calgary Stampeders, whose fans invaded Toronto and partied hard to celebrate the Stampeders’ 1948 Grey Cup win over Ottawa.)
• Who is the ‘Grey Cup‘ named for? (Lord Earl Grey, the Governor-General who donated the trophy in 1909.)

IT PAYS TO BE IGERNANT:
Listener must answer rapid-fire, and must get all questions WRONG to win. The trick is to answer with something so outrageous, it couldn’t possibly be correct. [The correct answer that CAN NOT be used is in brackets.] It’s way tougher than it seems!
• What’s the official name for a group of goldfish? [A troubling.]
• What color is the sky? [Blue/gray/black/white/etc.]
• What is the unusual state gem of Washington? [Petrified wood.]
• What’s the opposite of ‘up’. [Down.]
• How deep is a fathom? [6 feet.]
• Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb? [President Ulysses S Grant & his wife, Julia.]
• What is the ‘lead’ in a lead pencil made from? [Graphite & clay.]
• What’s the capital of Paraguay? [Asuncion.]
• The average human body has 14-to-18 square feet of what? [Skin.]
• What’s your first name?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
A new survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: People who have THIS are generally healthier and more confident.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A twin. (What about Mary-Kate Olsen then?)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success has a thousand fathers, but failure is an orphan.