Monday, November 12, 2007 Edition: #3653
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Guess who’ll they’ll be yakking about on “The View” today? Co-host-on-leave Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who gave birth to 7 lb-15 oz baby boy FRIDAY at a Phoenix AZ hospital. THIS MORNING her NFL QB hubby Tim Hasselbeck is calling the show to reveal the new baby’s name. (Here’s guessing it won’t be Rosie.)
– “Access Hollywood”
• Pseudo-actress Carmen Electra is suing the Toronto-based ‘Naked Women’s Wrestling League’ for breach of contract, negligence, and unfair business practices, claiming she was not paid in full for a handful of live event appearances. She says she’s only received a hundred-grand of the agreed $400,000 plus a cut of the proceeds from DVDs and pay-per-view. The NWWL is threatening to counter-sue, seeking damages for defamation, slander, and malicious persecution. (We say let ‘em fight it out … in the ring!)
– “E! News”
• That Roman Catholic priest accused of stalking Conan O’Brien has been admitted to a hospital for evaluation after going missing for several hours SATURDAY. 46-year-old David Ajemian voluntarily went into medical care after returning to his parents’ home in Boston. He was arrested, then released on bail LAST WEEK after trying to enter a taping of O’Brien’s show despite being warned to stay away.
– StarPulse News Blog
• ABC-TV has decided to air the 8 completed episodes for season 4 of “Lost” beginning in FEBRUARY, with the final episode ending in a cliffhanger that won’t be resolved until … the writers’ strike ends. The move to air the partial season comes after FOX-TV announced it’s postponing the premiere of “24” indefinitely, preferring to wait until it can air the 7th season uninterrupted. (And Kiefer gets out of jail.)
– “Broadcasting & Cable”
• Heather Mills has parted ways with the lawyers representing her in her long-fought divorce battle with Paul McCartney. Mishcon de Reya Solicitors, the same firm that represented Princess Diana in her divorce from Prince Charles, has confirmed it’s no longer representing her but declines to say why. Mills also recently lost her publicist as a result of her recent spate of explosive TV interviews.
– “Daily Mirror”
• Actress Winona Ryder has signed on to play ‘Amanda’, the human mother of the young ‘Spock’ (Zachary Quinto) in producer/director JJ Abrams’ upcoming “Star Trek” flick. Ryder hasn’t had a role in a mainstream movie since Adam Sandler’s 2002 romantic comedy “Mr Deeds”. (We’re guessing she landed the role thanks to her newly purchased ear prosthetics.)
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – Her manager says she has nothing to do with an attack blog set up in her name even though she appears to welcome visitors in a posted video. The site slams celeb blogger Perez Hilton, who frequently lampoons Lavigne for being a prefab popster.
• Britney Spears – Track 10, “Ooh Ooh Baby”, on her new album “Blackout” has a sample of Gary Glitter’s “Rock & Roll”. Glitter is the Brit pedophile who’s doing time in Vietnam for child abuse. Oops, she screwed up again.
• The Judds – The mom & daughter country act will reunite to perform at the 2008 “Stagecoach Festival” MAY 3-4 in Indio CA. It will be their first full-length concert in 7 years.
• Michael Jackson – He’s confirmed he’s currently working on a new album with Kanye West and Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas. The project is pencilled in for release in 2008. But don’t count on it … he still hasn’t released his Katrina relief record, begun in 2005.
• MUSE – A planned ‘Home of Muse’ billboard welcoming visitors to their hometown of Teignmouth, England has been scrapped after officials were informed that the group’s name is an acronym for ‘Medicated Urethral Suppository For Erection’.
• Rolling Stones – Mick Jagger & Charlie Watts have denied rumors they’ll make a special guest appearance at Led Zeppelin’s reunion show in London on DECEMBER 10th. The bill will include The Who’s Pete Townshend, Foreigner, and Paolo Nutini with Bill Wyman & The Rhythm Kings.
• Trisha Yearwood – She’s calling for scalpers to be shut down after learning that online ticket agencies are charging up to $975 for $31-seats to her hubby Garth Brooks’ sold-out run of comeback concerts at the Sprint Center in Kansas City MO.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Amy Winehouse – Her druggie husband Blake Fielder-Civil is scheduled to go on trial in an assault case THIS MORNING. He was arrested and jailed LAST WEEK for allegedly attempting to pay off the victim.
• Britney Spears – She appears on a rerun of “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”. NBC-TV says the non-writing staff on the show may be laid off or fired as soon as TODAY if Leno persists in refusing to cross the writers’ union picket line. The staff of “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” & “Last Call with Carson Daly” have also been warned of possible firings.
• Celine Dion – She’s a guest on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV).
• Chris Brown – He’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Ryan Adams – He’s on a “Late Show With David Letterman” rerun. CBS-TV has announced that both “Late Show” and “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” will continue in repeats THIS WEEK while the writers’ strike continues.
Connecticut-based bottling company Avery’s Beverages is marketing what it calls ‘Woof Water’, a designer doggy drink it hopes pooches will lap up. The thinking behind it is simple – many New England towns have heavily chlorinated water that dogs don’t like. ‘Woof Water’ is spring water that’s apparently been canine taste-tested. (It came in 2nd to toilet water.)
WEAPONS OF MINOR DESTRUCTION:
A recent study has found that air rifles, paintball pistols, and BB guns injure as many as 21,000 every year and these ‘non-powder guns’ also kill an average of 4 North Americans annually. (Hey c’mon, BB guns don’t kill people … BBs do.)
BETWEEN THE COVERS:
Louise Sloan, a 44-year-old single mom, is the author of the new book “Knock Yourself Up: No Man? No Problem!”. She says today’s independent women aren’t prepared to sit dolefully on a shelf while their fertility runs out. Nor are they willing to settle for ‘Mr You’ll Have to Do’ or ‘accidentally’ getting pregnant via a lover reluctant to commit. Her advice is to get proactive and … do it yourself. (Another excuse to buy a new turkey baster for the holiday season.)
– “The Observer”
Wild Willi Beckett was the lead singer of the ultra-strange British rock band The Psychosurgeons until he died earlier THIS YEAR. He also declared himself the ‘Shadow Minister of Mental Health’ in the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. LAST WEEKEND, his bandmates released a special limited edition 7-inch green-vinyl single to friends & family … with his ashes pressed into the vinyl. You can hear him make an ash of himself here …
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 90% of 18-plus working women say they now do ‘shopping research’ online.
• 79% of women trust only themselves to do their laundry.
• 60% of husbands asked their wives to marry them immediately after spending a week or more away from each other.
• 28% of us carry chewing gum with us at all times.
• 25% of us have no idea what will happen to our estate when we die.
• 15% of us admit we’ve checked our email while attending a wedding.
ARE YOU STILL YAWNING?
A study in Central Europe has found that it takes weeks rather than days for the body’s circadian rhythms to adjust when clocks move back or forward an hour. Research shows the worst affected are night owls, who can stay locked into standard Winter time for weeks after clocks go forward in the Spring. (We say setting the clocks back is worse … your body’s all screwed up but you can’t blame the time change for being late.)
– “New Scientist”
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Average people dream a total of 1 hour, 45 minutes per night.
– “Mackeson Book of Averages”
• If you give your pooch a dog biscuit, he’ll usually wag his tail when taking it. But if he’s alone and finds a dog biscuit in his dish, he’ll just eat it with no tail action.
– “Mental Floss”
BS CHRONOMETER 11.12.07
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944  Al Michaels, Brooklyn NY, TV sportscaster (“NBC Sunday Night Football”, “ABC Monday Night Football” 1986-2006)/National Sportscasters & Sportswriters Association Hall of Fame (1998)/5 Emmy Awards for Outstanding Play-by-Play Host/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2004) ARGUMENT STARTER: Is it a bad hairpiece … or just a bad comb-over?
1945  Neil Young, Toronto ON (raised Winnipeg MB), classic rocker (“Heart of Gold”, Crosby Stills Nash &Young-“Woodstock”)/Farm Aid co-founder/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2000)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1995, 1997-Buffalo Springfield)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1982)
1958  Megan Mullally, Oklahoma City OK, movie actress (“Bee Movie”)/TV actress (“Will & Grace” 1998-2006)
1980  Ryan Gosling, London ON (raised Cornwall ON), movie actor (“Lars & the Real Girl”, “The Notebook”)
1982  Anne Hathaway, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (“The Devil Wears Prada”, “The Princess Diaries”) UP NEXT: Co-stars with Steve Carell as ‘Agent 99′ in the bigscreen treatment of “Get Smart” (2008).
1984  Omarion (Omari Ishmael Grandberry), Inglewood CA, R&B singer (“Ice Box”, B2K-“Bump, Bump, Bump”)/movie actor (“Feel the Noise”, “You Got Served”)
1987  Bryan Little, Edmonton AB (raised Cambridge ON), NHL player (Atlanta Thrashers)/World Junior Hockey Championship (2007)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Birth of Baha’u’llah”, a holy day in the Baha’i faith.
• “Birth of Sun Yat-Sen“, a national holiday in China and Taiwan.
• “Chicken Soup for the Soul Day”, honoring the sappy series of feel-good books whose mantra is ‘changing the world one story at a time’. (Or is it ‘making a fortune by paying starving writers squat to fill up our books’? … we can’t remember.)
• “Pizza With the Works Except Anchovies Day”. The word ‘pizza’ comes from the Latin word ‘picea’ which the Romans used to describe the blackening of bread in an oven. The world’s first true pizzeria, Antica Pizzeria Port’Alba, opened in 1830 and is still in business today in Naples, Italy. An Italian immigrant named Gennaro Lombardi opened the first North American pizzeria in 1895 in NYC. Pizza is now consumed all over the world … with or without anchovies!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1910  1st ‘Movie Stunt’ (a jump into Hudson River from a burning balloon)
1951  ‘National Ballet of Canada’, founded by Celia Franca, gives 1st performance (Toronto)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1984  Madonna releases “Like A Virgin”, the album that makes her a star
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1745  1st ‘Happy Hour’, in a pub in Ireland (2-for-1 drinks and all the potatoes you can eat)
1931  Maple Leaf Gardens opens in Toronto as the new home of the NHL’s Maple Leafs (vacated when the Air Canada Centre opened)
1983  ‘Cabbage Patch Dolls’ debut and quickly become the holiday season must-have
1973  1st ‘ATM’ installed, at a Chemical Bank in NYC (only function is to dispense cash from credit cards)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1955  Washington State and San Jose State play a college football game in front of the lowest paid attendance on record – one person
1967  Detroit Lions set an NFL record by fumbling the ball 11 times (and losing it 5 times)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] “Spice Girls Greatest Hits” released
[Tues] Led Zeppelin “Mothership” released
[Tues] Paul McCartney’s “The McCartney Years” DVD set released
[Tues] World Kindness Day
[Tues] Mix It Up at Lunch Day
[Wed] World Diabetes Day
[Wed] Educational Support Personnel Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
American Education Week / Chemistry Week / Children’s Book Week / Eating Disorders Week / Green Ribbon Awareness Week / Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week / International Week of Science & Peace / Key Club International Week / Notary Public Week / Osteopathic Medicine Week / Perioperative Nurses Week / Red Flannel Days / Split Pea Soup Week / World Kindness Week
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Why doesn’t Nike come out with a condom? They’ve already got the slogan.
• Why don’t stamps ever go on sale?
• Is there job security in security jobs?
• Do the homeless have all the shopping carts with functional wheels?
• Should a guy be flattered when his wife finally breaks wind?
BS WORKING WOMEN QUIZ:
We give you female TV characters, you give us their occupations …
GAME #1 –
• ‘Gabrielle Solis’ (Eva Longoria) on “Desperate Housewives”. [Ex-Model]
• ‘Jaime Sommers’ (Michelle Ryan) in “Bionic Woman”. [Bartender]
• ‘Alexx Woods’ (Khandi Alexander) on “CSI: Miami”. [Chief Medical Examiner]
• ‘Kelly Carr’ (Patricia Heaton) in “Back to You”. [News Anchor]
• ‘Sara Sidle’ (Jorja Fox) on “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation”. [Crime Scene Investigator]
GAME #2 –
• ‘Marin Frist’ (Anne Heche) on “Men In Trees”. [Relationship Coach]
• ‘Lilly Rush’ (Kathryn Morris) on “Cold Case”. [Homicide Detective]
• ‘Melinda Gordon’ (Jennifer Love Hewitt) in “Ghost Whisperer”. [Antique Shop Owner]
• ‘Samantha Spade’ (Poppy Montgomery) on “Without a Trace”. [FBI Agent]
• ‘Kitty Walker’ (Calista Flockhart) on “Brothers & Sisters”. [TV Commentator/former Radio Host]
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I could have been a doctor … but there were too many good shows on TV.
BS WEB GOODIE:
Texas hold ‘em meets ‘The Sims’ at a new website called ‘PKR’ that claims to be the future of online poker. Rather than just showing playing cards, it creates an entire 3-D environment such as a Vegas hotel, a bar, or a TV studio. You control one of several customized avatars sitting at the table. As if you need another way to lose your money at cards.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Most women like THESE long, but most men like them short.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Jokes.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Perception rules the world. If you don’t believe me, I’m wrong.