Thursday, November 8, 2007        Edition: #3651
Get a Load of This Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
A cosmetics company called Beeceuticals is suing the producers of “Bee Movie” claiming they used the ad slogan ‘Give Bees A Chance’ first (shouldn’t Yoko Ono be suing both on behalf of John?) . . . The producers of the ‘Batman’ sequel “The Dark Knight” are under fire in Hong Kong for asking residents along the waterfront to keep their lights on all-night for a week to better show off the city’s glass & steel skyline in movie scenes, critics saying the same effect could be created in post-production (as “300“ proved, you don’t even need to go on location) . . . 51-year-old actress Kim Cattrall admits she only agreed to reprise her role as ‘Samantha’ in the new “Sex & The City” movie because – she was desperate for the money (at least she’s honest!) . . . 71-year-old director/actor Robert Redford says Hollywood stars who resort to plastic surgery are obsessed with holding onto their youth and he’s happy to age naturally (the reason we’ll be seeing his turkey neck again in “Lions for Lambs”) . . . Rosie O’Donnell may be returning to TV with a talk show on MSNBC that will go head-to-head against Larry King on CNN (now there’s a tough choice – loudmouth or geezer?) . . . And guess who’s changed her pretty little mind? Word has it that 28-year-old actress Kate Hudson is distancing herself from her most recent boy-toy, Dax Shepard, mainly because she’s had time to think about things and is convinced there might be a chance to reunite with 39-year-old former beau Owen Wilson (dude, after almost doing yourself in over ‘Miss Make-Up-Your-Flippin-Mind’, drop her like she’s hot!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – She’s hitting the road on a North America tour beginning MARCH 5th in Victoria BC. Boys Like Girls will open.
• Britney Spears – She has been ordered to pay $120,000 in legal fees to Kevin Federline, partly because of the ‘notable disparity’ in their incomes. Yeah $700,000 a month vs … nothing.
• 50 Cent – A spokesman for Christian media watchdog group The Resistance says it’s time for Fiddy to be a man of his word and retire. Quote: “The world will be a better place when this satanic piece of filth retires and stops making music.” Always nice to see tolerance and acceptance from religious zealots.
• LeAnn Rimes – She’ll be Kenny Chesney’s special guest NEXT YEAR on his “Poets & Pirates” tour. Specific dates have yet to be announced.
• Meat Loaf – The 60-year-old rocker is finished touring for now thanks to a vocal cord cyst. He’ll undergo 4-to-6 weeks of therapy to determine if he’ll need surgery.
• Nirvana — “Heavier Than Heaven”, the soon-to-shoot new bio-film about suicidal frontman Kurt Cobain will be the first to feature their actual music, thanks to his widow Courtney Love selling rights to Universal Pictures.
• Prince – He’s launched an extraordinary legal clampdown against … his own fan websites. The 3 largest fansites have all received legal notices to remove all photos, images, lyrics, album covers, and anything else linked to his likeness. Dude, have you heard that old axiom about biting the hand and all that?
• Radiohead – Their pay-what-you-want scheme hasn’t worked so well. A study by comScore reveals 62% of those who downloaded their new album “In Rainbows” over a 4-week period last month opted to pay … nada. The remaining 38% voluntarily paid an average of $6.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• The Hives – They perform music from their “Black & White Album” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• LeAnn Rimes – She’s on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) to promote her CD “Family”.
• Five For Fighting – This morning they’re on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• “Latin Grammy Awards“ – The 8th annual awards for Spanish-language music are handed out in Las Vegas. Juan Luis Guerra leads nominations with 5, followed by Ricky Martin and Calle 13 with 4 apiece. Beyoncé & Shakira have also notched a nod for their duet, “Beautiful Liar”.
• Sex Pistols – The punk legends reunite at London’s Brixton Academy, 30 years after the release of their only studio album “Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols”. Originally planned as a one-off gig, fan demand has led to string of dates being lined up. The surviving members of the band are John Lydon, Steve Jones, Paul Cook, and Glen Matlock.
• Travis Tritt – The “You Never Take Me Dancin’” singer plays Fallsview Casino Resort in Niagara Falls ON.
• “Young Frankenstein“ – Opens TONIGHT in NYC. Producer Mel Brooks’ first return to Broadway since the close of his 6-year mega-hit “The Producers” is a stage musical version of his own 1974 movie comedy of the same name, which starred Gene Wilder & Peter Boyle.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Death Wish” – Sylvester Stallone is in talks to remake this 1974 action flick which originally starred Charles Bronson. If the project goes forward as planned, Stallone will both direct and star, playing an ordinary man with a thirst for revenge after his wife and daughter are attacked.
• “Duplicity” – Julia Roberts & Clive Owen, who previously co-starred in “Closer”, will play  former lovers and rivals who team up in an elaborate plan to rip off big business by stealing a valuable product. The corporate crime caper is due to hit screens in 2009.
• “Frankie Machine” – Director Michael Mann & actor Robert De Niro will team up for the first time since their 1995 crime caper “Heat” in this story of a former mob hit-man who’s attempting to live out his retirement in blissful contentment while running a bait shop.
• “The Hessen Affair” – What’s with the sudden surge in WW2 movies? This one will feature “Titanic” star Billy Zane playing one of a pair of real-life American soldiers who stumble across the crown jewels of Germany.
• “Untitled X-Files Sequel” – The TV show-turned-film is back for one more kick at the paranormal. This 2nd movie based on the TV series (1993-2002) will be shot in Vancouver beginning DECEMBER 10th for a 2008 release. David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson will reprise their roles as ‘Fox Mulder’ & ‘Dana Scully’… because they haven’t had much else to do since.

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• The new ‘Living Dead Doll’ pencil sharpener allows you to shove your pencil into the eye socket of a decapitated doll head and, in return, it will vomit the pencil shavings out of her mouth. Just what every teacher wants to see on a student’s desk.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/2stgak
• ‘Bacon Salt’ is a new zero-calorie, zero-fat, zero-carb, zero-meat seasoning that tastes just like bacon. It’s even kosher. And if bacon flavoring isn’t enough, there’s also hickory and peppered versions as well as maple-flavored bacon salt. Perfect if you’re having fish & pancakes.
NET: http://www.baconsalt.com/
• It’s the greatest thing since sliced jelly! Illinois-based ‘PJ Squares’ makes individually wrapped sandwich slices, with strawberry or grape jelly on one side and peanut butter on the other. So if you wanna make a PB&J sandwich, you just add bread. Imagine the immense amount of time and effort you’ll save!

WEIRD WORK:
NYC photographer Nancy Rica Schiff compiled a series of photos of ordinary people with extraordinary employment for her book, “Odd Jobs: Portraits of Unusual Occupations”. Among the weirder ways she found to make a living: ‘Bull Semen Sample Collector’; a female ‘Men’s Room Attendant’; ‘Odor Tester’, paid to sniff things like feet, kitty litter, diapers, and body odor; and ‘Private School Headmistress’ at Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls. (Strangest job we’ve heard of … ‘BS Compiler’.)
– “Rangefinder Magazine”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• About 90% of compulsive shoppers are women. Most of them are middle-aged and many are suffering from depression or bipolar disorder. (As well as credit card ‘declined’ messages.)
• Children typically get 6-to-10 colds a year. Adults average 2-to-4 a year, according to Mayo Clinic research. (Unless they’re parents of children who get 6-to-10.)

BS CHRONOMETER 11.08.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [76] Morley Safer, Toronto ON, TV journalist (“60 Minutes” since 1970)

1945 [62] Luba Goy, born on a train travelling through Germany, CBC-TV comic (“Royal Canadian Air Farce” since 1973)

1949 [58] Bonnie Raitt, Burbank CA, pop singer/songwriter (“Something to Talk About”, “I Can’t Make You Love Me”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2000)

1950 [57] Mary Hart (Harum), Sioux Falls SD, TV personality (“Entertainment Tonight” since 1982)

1953 [54] Alfre Woodard, Tulsa OK, movie actress (“Beauty Shop”)/TV actress (“Desperate Housewives” 2005-06)

1967 [40] Courtney Thorne-Smith, San Francisco CA, TV actress (‘Cheryl’ on “According to Jim” since 2001, ”Ally McBeal” 1997-2002)

1972 [35] Gretchen Mol, Deep River CT, movie actress (“3:10 to Yuma”, “The Notorious Bettie Page”)

1975 [32] Tara Reid, Wyckoff NJ, TV personality (“Wild On …” 2005)/movie actress (“American Pie”)

1977 [30] Bucky Covington, Rockingham NC, country singer (“It’s Good to Be Us“, “A Different World”)/“American Idol 5” finalist (2006)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Abet & Aid Punsters Day”, a day to make up incredibly bad puns, proclaimed by Punsters Unlimited who say the all-time best triple pun is ‘Though he’s not very humble, there’s no police like Holmes’.

• “Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day”, a day to offset the coming chills of winter. What’s the most pungent thing you can cook? In other words, what stinks up the kitchen most – Cabbage rolls? Fish? Lamb? Garlic? Onions?

• “Dunce Day”, commemorating the 1308 death of Duns Scotus. He wasn’t what we now refer to as a ‘dunce’, he was actually a bookworm!

• “International Tongue Twister Day”, a celebration of all those famously formidable phrases that are so strenuous to say. Such as …
• Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches, and which wristwatches are Irish wristwatches?
• The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.
• And our personal fave: I’m not the fig plucker nor the fig plucker’s son but I’ll pluck the figs till the fig plucker comes.
Think you’re an ace? Then try some in other languages here …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/2ugdza

• “Return It! Day”, a day to take back all the stuff you’ve borrowed from others. According to a survey, 65% of us have borrowed something from a neighbor. Top loaners for men – ‘tools’, borrowed by 37%. Most borrowed item by women – ‘sugar’, which 25% say they’ve trotted next door for.

• “Parents as Teachers Day”. Check out any kid who’s constantly scoring ‘A’s and you’ll likely find that kid gets a lot of help at home.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1979 [28] ABC-TV’s “Nightline” debuts (initially called “The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1993 [14] Celine Dion announces plans to marry her manager Réné Angelil at the launch of her mega-selling album, “The Color of My Love” (when she’s 25 and he’s 51!)

2005 [02] Kenny Chesney releases the hit album “The Road & the Radio”, featuring the #1 hits “Living in Fast Forward”, “Summertime”, and “Beer In Mexico”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1895 [112] 1st ‘X-ray’ by German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen, who sees the bones of his hand as he waves it between a radiation source and a fluorescent screen (he names the rays ‘X’ for unknown)

1910 [97] 1st ‘Insect Electrocutor’, invented by William Frost of Spokane WA (aka ‘Bug Zapper’)   FACTOID: A recent study finds that a single bug zapper may kill more than 10,000 flying insects in a year but only a couple dozen of them will be mosquitoes or other biting insects. Instead, harmless bugs of all kinds, including rare and endangered ones, are fried. And 10% of the fatalities are actually mosquito predators. Wow, great invention, Bill!

1975 [32] 1st women’s ‘Tube Top’ hits the market (and 1st ‘Puppy Noses’ are detected)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1970 [37] New Orleans Saints Tom Dempsey (born without a right hand and only half his kicking foot) boots NFL-record 63-yard field goal vs Detroit (tied in 1998 by Denver’s Jason Elam)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Diwali (Hindu)
[Fri] Guinness World Record Day
[Fri] Gingerbread House Day
[Fri] “Fred Claus”; “Lions for Lambs”; “P2” open in movie theaters
[Fri] US Marine Corp Birthday
[Sun] Veterans Day (USA)
[Sun] Remembrance Day
[Sun] Young Readers Day
This Week Is … Canadian Poppy Week Animal Shelter Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Diabetes Month

BULL’S BITS

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• How do those guys do hard labor on the streets all day and still manage a belly? How much beer does that take?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, do the other trees laugh?
• If dolphins are so smart, why do they keep getting trapped in tuna nets?
• What if the person you want to sleep with isn’t the same as the one you want to wake up with?
• If you have to push a button, is it really ‘automatic’?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What ‘family words’ does your family use as secret code to say something that outsiders won’t understand. (For his new book, “Family Words: A Dictionary of the Secret Language of Families”, author Paul Dickson found these: ‘letters in the mailbox’ [a euphemism for ‘having a wedgie’]; and ‘Saturday is longer than Sunday [code for ‘your slip is showing’].)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Irish author Bram Stoker was born 160 years ago TODAY (1847). He published “Dracula”, the prototype of most vampire tales, in 1897. Which real-life Transylvania ruler was the character based on …
a. Vlad the Impaler [CORRECT]
b. Peter the Incisor
c. Ivan the Terrible
– Wikipedia

• Canada has at least 31,752 of these that are larger than 3-square-kilometers …
a. Golf courses.
b. Lakes. [CORRECT]
c. Shopping malls.
– atlas.nrcan.gc.ca

• A group of cats is called …
a. A ‘clowder’. [CORRECT]
b. A ‘squirm’.
c. A ‘hairball’.
– i-pets.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I used to be conceited. Now I’m perfect.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: French researchers quoted in “Men’s Health” say that a woman is 50% more likely to accept your invitation to dance if you do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Gently touch her forearm.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Today’s extravagance becomes tomorrow’s necessity.